“What has you so sad?” She tilted her head at him. “No, wait, don’t tell me. You’re wearing a suit. Either someone you loved just got married, or you came from a funeral.”
“Funeral.”
She nodded sadly. “That sucks. Were you close?”
“He was my brother.”
Her face went slack and she looked surprised. “Oh. I’m so sorry. That more than sucks.”
“Yeah.” He tilted back the last of his beer and swallowed.
“I’m Carolyn.” She stuck out her hand and he shook it. “I noticed you before and you looked so sad. I wanted to come say hi. I thought maybe I could cheer you up, but I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon, is it?”
“Doubtful.”
“For what it’s worth, I am sorry. My dad died a few years ago, so I have an idea of what it’s like to lose a family member.”
“Thanks,” he said.
“I’m just going to leave this.” She set down a scrap of paper with her name and phone number written on it. “If you want to talk or hang up, give me a call.”
He folded the paper and tucked it into his pants. “I appreciate it.”
“I mean it,” she said. “Even if you just want to talk or hang out with someone who didn’t know your brother at all. Sometimes that makes it easier. No reminders.”
She walked back to her table as Ryan and Rachel returned from the bathroom. Through the rest of the night, he glanced at her now and again. Several times their eyes met. He couldn’t hold her glance for more than a moment or two, though.
“What are you waiting for?” Rachel asked.
“Huh?” Gabe looked at her and she was watching him.
“You have been checking out that brunette for hours. Why don’t you talk to her?”
“I already did. She gave me her number.”
“When?” Ryan said.
“When you guys went to the bathroom. She came over.”
“Are you going to call her?” Ryan asked.
“I don’t know,” Gabe said.
“Invite her to come sit with us,” Rachel said.
“Nah. I’m not really up for meeting new people right now. Too much work.”
They seemed to accept this and went back to the conversation they had been having without Gabe. He hadn’t been more than a table decoration for the last hour. And he was starting to get tired.
“Can we go?” he asked.
They got to their feet and paid the tab. As he walked out, Gabe allowed himself one last look at Carolyn. She held up a hand to wave goodbye.
Chapter 3
Carolyn watched him walk out the door and raised her hand to wave. She’d never even gotten his name, she realized. Would he call? Would she ever see him again? Could go either way. Usually, she had a better sense of these things. Could tell whether a guy was interested from the start.
He’d been looking at her all night. Since he walked in the door, almost. But he hadn’t come over. And the sadness in his eyes made her heart hurt every time he looked at her. That’s why she finally went over to him. She didn’t usually do things like that. Approach a man first. She always let him make the first move, but something about him and the look in his eyes moved her forward, toward him.
And when they’d started talking, it was immediate. She saw his raw pain and the ache in his eyes ignited her own. She wanted to hug him and find some way to make him feel better. But he was also closed off. Numb from the pain. She remembered that feeling from when her dad died. How letting in anything meant you had let in everything. And how it was so much easier to keep it all out.
Well, maybe he would call. Maybe he wouldn’t.
“I’m bored,” Mikaela said, “Ready to head out?”
“Sure. I drank enough for one night.”
They left the bar arm in arm, walking back to their dorm.
“Too bad he didn’t come over,” Mikaela said.
“Who?”
“Oh, come on. Big hottie? I saw you checking him out. The one you went to talk to.”
Carolyn shrugged. “We’ll see if he calls. What’s the plan for tonight?”
“Hmm. Netflix and ice cream?”
“I like it.”
Campus was nearly empty this time of year. It was early summer and only a few classes were in session. She was taking classes all summer, just like her roommate, to get done their program faster. For her, it was also to avoid having no place to go for a few months.
They got back to their dorm room and put on the next episode of Gilmore Girls. Carolyn picked up her science book and started reading her homework for the weekend. She had a paper due in a few days and needed to get started on it.
As she read, she found her thoughts drifting back to the man from the bar. What was he doing now? Was he okay? Would he call? Maybe she should have gotten his number instead.
Well, she couldn’t afford to lose focus now. She would work on her paper and not think about him and that was that. She had to work tomorrow anyway.
After an hour of studying, her phone rang. She reached over and snatched it up. Mikaela raised her eyebrows at her from across the room. But when she looked at it, it wasn’t an unknown number. It was her ex.
She sighed and threw the phone down. A minute later, it beeped with a voice mail. She shouldn’t listen to it. Knew she should just hit delete and be done with it. But what if it was somehow important?
She pressed the button to hear the message. “Carolyn, baby, it’s me. I’m not drunk, I swear.” She rolled her eyes. He was. He only ever claimed to not be drunk when he was drunk. “I just wanted to say I miss you. I think you should come back home. I mean, no, I know you’re at school and stuff, but when you’re done. Give me another chance. I know your mom misses having you home. My family misses you, too. Please. I love you. We can make this work, I promise. It won’t be anything like last time.”
Right. Sam was always full of promises that he never kept and creative half truths. Like just now, for example. Maybe he wasn’t drunk. It might not be a lie. But, he was likely high and had also been drinking. So, technically, he was telling the truth saying he wasn’t drunk, but it didn’t matter much because he was still messed up on something.
Sam called her like this often. She’d been at school a year and a half. After high school, she’d gone to community college for a few years to make things cheaper. Now that she was far away from him, Sam couldn’t take it. Of course, he never knew she was going to leave to go to school. That wasn’t part of the plan until things started going badly between them. Then it had become a way to get away from him.
He still called about once a month when she was lucky, more often when she wasn’t. She’d thought to block his number or change it, but every once in a while, he called and was so messed up, she had to call his mother or sister to go get him so he didn’t drive drunk and kill himself or someone. She was afraid that blocking him would end up hurting him or someone else.
But she also wanted him to leave her alone. She was done with him. She wouldn’t be going back. She was sick of his phone calls and obscene reactions if she posted online photos of her with a guy. That had been a fun night the night she’d updated her relationship status and added a pic. And that relationship had ended partially because he was so freaked out over Sam’s reaction.
For now, she just refused to answer his calls, kept him blocked online, and if his messages sounded particularly bad, she called or texted his sister to check on him. That was all she was willing to do at this point.
“Your ex?” Mikaela asked.
“Yes.”
“Man. I thought it was going to be big hottie.”
“Yeah. I hoped so, too.”
She picked up her book again and started taking notes as the next episode came on. By the time they’d watched three episodes and were ready for bed, she had the entire outline of her paper done and was in good shape.
Weeks had gone by and she hadn’t heard from the guy at the bar. She
figured he wasn’t going to call. Maybe had lost her number. Either way, she’d stopped hoping every time the phone rang and had stopped thinking about him.
So, when her phone rang at midnight one Friday night, the last person she expected was him. She only glanced at her phone, assuming it was going to be Sam. But the number was unknown to her and it was a local number. Could he really be calling, or was this a wrong number?
“Hello?” she said warily.
“Is this… Carolyn?”
“Yes.”
“This is Gabe. From the bar.”
Her heart jumped. It was him. And now she had his name. “Hi Gabe from the bar.”
“Sorry to call so late. Can you talk?”
“Sure. How have you been? Holding it together or are you falling apart like I did for about two years?”
He breathed hard into the phone. “Falling apart.”
“Yeah? What’s going on? You drinking?”
“Yeah.” He gave a humorless chuckle. “Is it that obvious?”
“No, it’s not that. I met you in a bar though. So, I figured you were the drown-your-sorrows type. How often are you getting drunk?”
“Every day.”
She made an involuntary pained face. He was on a bad path. One she knew too well. She’d been down it herself. So had Sam. And, in fact, she’d met Sam on that downward spiral. Only problem was, she’d gotten out. He hadn’t.
“And when you get drunk every day, are you still functioning? Going to work or whatever? What do you do anyway?”
“I’m a football player. I’m supposed to be in pro training camp. They gave me time off when Austin died, but I should have been back weeks ago. I think… I think I’m blowing it, Carolyn.”
He was crying. She could hear it in his voice and his quiet sniffles. Her heart ached. She hoped she said the right things to him.
“Gabe. It’s going to be okay. The pros. That’s pretty serious. You must be one hell of a football player.”
“It’s the new shifter league. I was supposed to be the starting quarterback. I don’t think that’s going to happen, though.”
Her mouth hung open. A shifter? She’d never known a shifter before. They usually didn’t just blurt it out like that. Either he was that drunk or just didn’t care. “I should have guessed you were a shifter or a football player, big as you are. Makes sense you’re both. I don’t know a ton about football, but a starting quarterback is a big deal, right?”
“Yeah. One of the biggest.”
“Why do you think you’re blowing it?”
“I haven’t made it to training. Coach keeps calling me and telling me I have to get back or they’re going to give up my spot. I think he’s giving up on me.”
“What else is going on?”
“What do you mean?” She heard him sniffle again, like he was trying to clear his nose.
“What other things have you given up? What else is falling apart?” She remembered how she’d dropped out of school, had stopped hanging out with her friends. Had given up dancing and sewing. Everything she loved. The things that made her feel alive and happy.
“Everything,” he said in a near whisper.
“Like?”
“All I do is sleep or drink. I go out and drink sometimes, but I think my friends are even getting sick of it. I got into a fight the other day.”
“You sound like you’re a total mess.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” He sounded slightly agitated. How drunk was he right now?
“Not at all. I’m just stating a fact. Do you see it? Do you see how your life is falling apart?”
“Yes. Why do you think I called you?”
“Good,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure. If you don’t see it, there’s nothing you can do about it. But if you see it, then you can. Are you ready to put your life back together?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I can. I think it’s too late.”
“It’s not. Where are you right now? Home or out drinking somewhere?”
“Umm…”
“Gabe? Do you know where you are?”
“Someone’s house. It’s a party. I’m in the bathroom upstairs.”
Something in his words made her heart race. This wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right about this, but she wasn’t sure what. Pure intuition had her on alert. “Okay. What’s in the bathroom with you?”
“Lots of things.”
“Have you taken any of them? Like pills or anything?”
There was a long pause and she started to panic. She was out of bed, pulling on her clothes with one hand while holding the phone with the other.
“Gabe? Have you taken anything?”
“No,” he said finally. “But I…”
“What?”
“I have this razor blade.”
“Put it down. Where are you? Like what city, do you know?”
“Umm… I didn’t drive.”
Well, that was good. “Do you have a smart phone? Who are you with?”
“Yeah. My friend Ryan. He’s somewhere. Probably with Rachel in a bedroom, I don’t know. He doesn’t know I’m in here. I couldn’t find him. That’s why I called you. I don’t know what else to do.”
He’d started crying again and her mind was spinning. What could she do? Was this going to work?
“Okay, go to your map on your phone. Hold your thumb on the dot. It should tell you an address.”
“Yeah.” He gave her the address.
She grabbed her keys, shoved her feet into flip flops, and ran out the door. She drove with one hand on her phone and the other on the steering wheel, panicking. She didn’t know how close he was or what might happen. All she knew was she had to get to him. And there was little time.
“Tell me your favorite childhood story, Gabe. One about you and Austin.” She wanted to keep him talking, keep him focused on happy things. At least until she could get to him.
“We used to go fishing a lot.”
“Where?”
“This pond near my parent’s house. One time, Austin fell in. He was really little. My dad had to shift into bear form and swim out to him. You know bears are really good swimmers? And then, he grabbed Austin in his teeth and swam him back to the dock. He was all cold and wet.”
“Then what happened?”
“Nothing really. My dad shook out and he kinda wrapped Austin in a bear hug.” He started to laugh. “You know what I mean. But he warmed him up. We kept trying to catch fish with a pole, but my dad just walked out into the water, still in bear form, and reached in and grabbed the fish right out of the water.”
“I’ve seen bears do that on TV.” She turned onto the street he was supposed to be on. “Can you do all the things bears can do? Or are there differences? I’ve never known a shifter before.”
Gabriel (BBW Shifter Secret Baby Football Romance) (Shifter Football League Book 1) Page 3
