by Anne Herries
‘Oh, my poor child,’ Mrs Hampton said as she bent over Susannah to kiss her cheek, tears trick ling down her face. ‘You foolish, foolish girl! What on earth did you mean by it?’
Susannah did not answer. She could not, for the fever they all dreaded had taken hold. Once she had woken from the laudanum, the signs had all been there. She was burning up, her brow damp with sweat as she tossed restlessly and cried out in her delirium for Harry.
‘Harry…’ Susannah whimpered. ‘Please do not die…do not leave me…’
‘I am here, my love,’ Harry said, coming forwards. He had stood back to allow her mother to take his place, but now he bent over her, placing a hand on her brow and brushing back the damp hair. His heart was wrung with grief, for she was so very ill and he felt so helpless. He did not think he could bear the guilt if she were to die, for the duel should never have been! ‘I shall not leave you.’
‘It is hardly fitting that you should be here in her bedchamber,’ Mrs Hampton said, looking at him oddly. ‘I suppose since you are engaged…but it will be thought very strange if people hear that you have spent so much time alone with her, sir.’
Harry looked apologetic, his face dark with grief. ‘Forgive me, ma’am. I know you must blame me for this—indeed, I blame myself. If she dies, I shall never forgive myself!’
‘Well, I cannot approve of duels, though I know gentle men think them an honourable way to solve their differences,’ Mrs Hampton said, shaking her head at him. ‘However, I do not blame you for Susannah’s be ha vi our. It was foolish in the extreme—and not at all what I have taught her. She ought not to have come near that place if she knew what was happening. It was very wrong of her, Pendleton, rash and most improper.’
‘Please do not be angry with her,’ Harry said. ‘I do not know why she took such a risk, but I am sure that she intended to save me from being killed.’
‘Of course she did,’ Mrs Hampton replied. ‘Can it be that you do not under stand how much Susannah loves you? If you imagined that she was marrying you for position or wealth, you are much mistaken. I know my daughter, sir. Once she gives her heart, she does not change, though I know she has been un certain of your feelings for her.’
‘I thought…’ Harry looked rueful. ‘I believed she might care for Toby. He is more her age and I fear that I am some times too severe for her. I have tried to please her, but I was afraid that she might find me dull.’
‘Now you are being foolish,’ Mrs Hampton said and smiled wisely. ‘Susannah would not have accepted you if she had not fallen in love with you. My daughter is far too romantic in her notions to marry for anything but love. I thought she might have a preference for Mr Sinclair at one time, but she told me frankly that she cared for him only as a friend. She assured me that they were too much alike and would not suit. She once told me that you would be a good influence for her and help her to be a better person.’
‘I think that perhaps she may teach me to be a better person,’ Harry said with a rueful look at his love. She looked so flushed and ill! ‘I shall admit to having a shocking temper at times, but I must—I shall learn to curb it for her sake.’
‘We must pray that she comes through this fever so that you may tell her these things,’ Mrs Hampton said in a practical tone. ‘And now, sir—I really must insist that you take some rest. I shall not deny you my daughter’s bedchamber, for I do not think you would heed me, and I have no desire to quarrel with you. However, you should rest for an hour or so. Leave her to me now. There are things I need to do for her. Amelia will be here to give Susannah her medicine shortly, and we shall call you if you are needed.’
Harry ran his hand over his face. He had not shaved in two days and was in des per ate need of some sleep and a change of clothes.
‘Very well, ma’am. I have your promise that you will call me at once if…’
‘My daughter is stronger than you imagine, sir,’ Mrs Hampton said and smiled. ‘You have my promise.’
Mrs Hampton sat next to the bed after Harry had left the room. She reached for Susannah’s hand as she cried out and called his name.
‘He will be back soon, my love,’ she said. ‘You must be a good brave girl, and we shall soon have you better.’ She began to pull back the covers so that she could bathe Susannah’s heated flesh. ‘I really do think you must get better soon, my love, or the poor man will be ill himself.’
Susannah whimpered as she felt the soreness in her arm. What was wrong with her? Her long lashes flickered against her cheek as she struggled to fight off the cotton-wool clouds that fogged her mind, and then she opened her eyes to see someone bending over her. She felt a cool cloth against her brow and sighed.
‘That feels good,’ she croaked. ‘Thank you.’
‘You are awake at last,’ Amelia said and smiled in relief. ‘The fever broke last night. We gave you some medicine, because you were in distress, and you slept soundly. Are you feeling better, dearest?’
‘My arm is very sore,’ Susannah said. ‘I am so thirsty. Could I have some water, please?’
‘Yes, of course,’ Amelia said and sat next to her on the bed, lifting her so that she could drink from the cup. ‘I had this ready, for I knew you would be thirsty when you woke. The doctor told me that you must take only a few sips at first.’ She smiled as Susannah swallowed and then closed her eyes. ‘You are very tired. Would you like to sleep again?’
‘No, not yet,’ Susannah said and forced her eyes to stay open. ‘How long have I been ill? I cannot think what happened to me…’
‘You were in a fever for three days and nights,’ Amelia told her. ‘Do you not recall what you did—the duel?’
‘The…duel…’ Susannah stared at her and then memory returned with a rush. ‘Oh, yes, of course. Harry was not going to fire and I feared the marquis would kill him. I tried to stop him and…he must have fired. I do not remember what happened next…just that it hurt so very much. I think I must have fainted.’
‘I am sure that it was very painful,’ Amelia told her with a look of sympathy. ‘You were fortunate that the ball did not go deeper. Had it hit your chest or your neck, you might well have been killed. The doctor says we were very lucky that you escaped so easily, dearest.’
‘I did not think he would fire at me, but I suppose it was too late for him to stop,’ Susannah said and winced as she pushed herself up against the pillows. Her head was aching and she felt weak. ‘Indeed, if I am truthful, I did not think of anything other than my fear that Harry might be killed.’
‘Toby told me that Northaven is not held to be a good marksman. It was likely that his shot would have gone wide—and then Harry would have fired in the air.’
‘But he might have killed him. I could not take that risk,’ Susannah said. ‘I love him too much…’ A little sob left her lips. ‘Is he very angry with me? Do you think he will wish to break off our engagement? I know my conduct was not what it ought to have been. I ought to have pre tended I knew nothing—but I could not. I love him too much.’
‘I do not know how he feels about what you did,’ Amelia replied. ‘However, I am perfectly certain Pendleton will not wish to break off the engagement. He has hardly left your bedside since he carried you up here.’
‘Harry has been here?’ Susannah stared at her in surprise. ‘Did Mama allow it? It was most improper for him to be in my room. I think Mama could not have been pleased?’
‘Your mama knew that if she forbade it, he would ignore her,’ Amelia said and laughed. ‘If you had doubts concerning his feelings for you, Susannah, you may forget them. I have never seen a man more in love than Harry Pendleton. He was beside himself when he thought you might die.’
‘Oh…’ Susannah blushed. ‘Do you think so? I have on occasion thought that my some times-reckless be ha vi our may have given him reason to regret his proposal.’
‘Pendleton admits to a temper,’ Amelia told her and looked thoughtful. ‘However, his own be ha vi our has shown that he is very much i
n love.’
‘He will still scold me,’ Susannah said. ‘I have caused so much anxiety and trouble.’
‘Yes, you have,’ Amelia agreed and laughed teasingly. ‘What you did was misguided, Susannah, but I do not think you will find that you are much censured. Indeed, I have heard you spoken of as being plucky and having a deal of spunk. I imagine Harry’s relatives believe him to be a lucky man to have inspired such devotion. No one has censured you in my hearing or your mama’s.’
Susannah blushed again, picking at the bedcover with restless fingers. ‘You had intended to leave before this,’ she said. ‘I am sorry, Amelia, I have kept you from your business.’
‘I wrote to Miss Emily Barton and put off our interview for one week,’ Amelia said. ‘I could not entertain the idea of leaving while you were still so ill. Miss Barton will under stand if she is the per son I think her.’
‘I have detained you and Harry’s friends, for they were to escort you home.’
‘Yes, they were. Indeed, Lord Coleridge still intends it,’ Amelia said, a strange look in her eyes. ‘However, the Earl of Ravenshead has had a letter, which means he must go to France.’
‘A letter from France—has he business there?’ Susannah looked at her curiously for she sensed that Amelia was holding her feelings in check. ‘He spoke to me of that country once.’
‘It appears that he has a daughter,’ Amelia replied in a tone that was carefully flat and devoid of emotion. ‘She has been fretting and unwell and he told me that he must go to her.’
‘A daughter? But I thought…’ Susannah saw the look on her friend’s face. Amelia was struggling with her emotions. ‘Harry did not know he had a wife.’
‘He does not,’ Amelia said. ‘It seems that the earl was married briefly during the war in Spain—a French lady, I believe. He rescued her from some troops after her escort had been shot. She had no one and he…married her. She died after the child was born and…the earl put the child into the care of a French family. How ever, she pines for him when he is absent.’
‘Oh…does that mean he intends to live in France?’ Susannah frowned, for she recalled his having mentioned some thing of the kind to her. She could not quite recall what he had said, but thought he might have considered living there for a time.
‘I believe he may not return to England for some months,’ Amelia told her. ‘But we should not be talking of this, Susannah. You need to rest and…it is not our affair after all.’
‘No, it is not,’ Susannah agreed. ‘I am so very sorry, Amelia. Did he say nothing else?’
‘What else should he say?’ Amelia glanced away, but Susannah could see a pulse flicking in her throat. ‘Anything that was between us is long for got ten, Susannah. I shall not allow myself to think of it again.’
‘Forgive me,’ Susannah said. ‘I have said too much. I did not wish to hurt you.’
‘You have not,’ Amelia replied and turned to face her. ‘Nothing has changed—I knew that there was no chance of…’ She got to her feet, her expression bleak. ‘Excuse me, I must tell your mama that you are awake. Everyone has been so anxious.’
Susannah lay back against the pillows, a single tear escaping to trickle down her cheek. She felt so sad for her friend, because she knew that, despite her brave words, Amelia was hurting all over again. She was still in love with the earl, even though she would not admit it.
‘Why has Harry not been to see me for two days?’ Susannah asked when her mama visited her that morning. ‘He popped in to say he was glad to see me recovered from the fever, but he did not stay and he has not come to visit me since then.’
‘He sent you those beautiful roses,’ Mrs Hampton said, indicating a vase on the dressing chest. ‘You must not expect him to visit now that you are recovering, dearest. While you were in the fever he sat with you, but it would not be proper for him to do so now that you are over the worst of it.’
‘Then I shall get up,’ Susannah told her. ‘I want to see him, Mama. I need to talk to him.’
‘The doctor says that you must stay in bed for at least another week, my love. Please do not be difficult, Susannah. You were very ill, and you told me only just now that your arm is still very sore.’
‘Yes, it does hurt,’ Susannah agreed, ‘but if Harry will not come to me, then I must go to him.’
‘You know that it is extremely improper for a gentleman to visit an unmarried lady in her bedroom, do you not?’
‘Yes, Mama, I know,’ Susannah replied, her mouth set stubbornly. ‘But if he does not come to visit me today, I shall get up.’
‘Well, I believe he is out on estate business at the moment,’ Mrs Hampton said and sighed. ‘However, I shall tell him when he re turns. It really is most improper, my love.’
‘Please do tell him, Mama,’ Susannah urged. ‘If he does not come, I shall dress and come down this evening.’
‘You are a trouble some girl at times,’ her mama said and shook her head in frustration. ‘But I suppose you must have your way.’
Susannah looked through the book of poetry that Amelia had given her before she left Pendleton, tossing it aside restlessly. It was almost teatime! If Harry did not come soon, she would be forced to carry out her threat and go down, even though she did not truly feel well enough. She was about to ring the bell and summon her maid to help her dress when someone tapped at her door.
‘Please come in,’ she called and sat up expectantly. ‘Harry…I am so glad you came!’ She smiled at him as he hesitated near the door. ‘Pray do come in. I am quite decent, for I have my dressing robe on.’
‘You are better, Susannah,’ Harry said as he walked towards the bed. ‘You know I ought not to be here now—though I dare say any damage was done before this. It is just as well that we are engaged, otherwise I should have had to propose if only to save your reputation. Your mama was very cross with me, you know.’
Susannah saw the gleam in his eyes and knew he was teasing her. She laughed and shook her head at him. ‘It is such a bore having to sit here, Harry. I have had lots of ladies to visit me, but I wanted to talk to you.’
‘Well, I am here now—what have you to say to me?’
‘I think I must apologise for all the trouble I have caused.’
Harry arched his right eyebrow. ‘Must you? Perhaps you should, for everyone was very anxious for you while the fever raged. We thought we might lose you. I must tell you that several of my family have severely reprimanded me for placing you in danger—and I could not blame them. I should never have forgiven myself if you had died.’
‘Would you have minded very much?’ Susannah looked at him, an unconscious appeal in her eyes.
‘I cannot tell you how much,’ Harry said and looked stern. ‘Why did you do such a foolish thing? Was it that you were afraid I should be killed?’
Susannah nodded, her cheeks on fire. ‘I know it was wrong of me, Harry—but I do love you so.’
‘I adore you, my brave, foolish darling,’ Harry said. He advanced towards the bed, sat on the edge and took her hand. ‘I was not sure if you liked Toby better, but he assures me that you are merely friends—and that he refused to tell you where the duel was. Tell me, how did you discover it, Susannah?’
‘I heard you say some thing as you came in that night—and then I listened at the library door, which was very bad of me, I know. I watched the direction you took that morning, and I asked Tim if there was a clearing in the woods. He told me which trail to follow and—’ She bit her lip. ‘Why did you not fire at once? I thought you would be killed and I could not bear it.’
‘So you risked your life for mine,’ Harry said. He carried her hand to his lips and kissed it, his look tender. ‘I am not sure that I deserve such devotion, Susannah. I must ask you to promise me that you will not take such a foolish risk again.’
‘I shall promise—if you promise not to fight another duel.’
‘I had to fight him, Susannah—not for Miss Hazledeane’s sake, but because he was my
enemy and he might have tried to harm you if I had not challenged him.’
‘Oh…’ Susannah’s eyes widened. ‘I did not know—but I still do not wish you to fight again. I should not want to live if you were killed, Harry.’
‘Then I must give you my word—the word of a gentleman,’ Harry said. ‘For I feel much the same, my love.’
‘We are agreed,’ Susannah said. She tipped her head to one side, a gleam of mischief in her eyes. ‘When do you think I shall be ready to drive my horses again? You promised to give me a race. I trust you have not for got ten?’
‘No, I have not for got ten,’ Harry replied and laughed softly. ‘It will be some weeks before you are ready for such a mad adventure, my love. Your arm will be painful and stiff for some time. I think the race should wait until after the wedding—do you agree?’
‘Oh, yes,’ Susannah said and gave him a wicked look. ‘How soon can we be married?’
‘Amelia is making all the arrangements. We shall go down as soon as you are able to travel and the last banns may be called when we can attend the church.’
‘I cannot wait,’ Susannah said. ‘I shall get up tomorrow and per haps we can go down next week.’
‘If you are well enough to get up tomorrow, I shall show you my apartments at Pendleton,’ Harry said. ‘I would like to set any work in hand before we leave.’
‘Yes, I should like that,’ Susannah replied. She looked at him thoughtfully. ‘Tell me, do you think the Earl of Ravenshead will come back from France for our wedding?’
‘I do not know,’ Harry said and frowned. ‘I know what you are thinking, Susannah—but I cannot help you. I had no idea that Gerard had a daughter until a few days ago when the letter came summoning him to France. He will need to settle his daughter—and he will try to find Miss Hazledeane and make sure that she is safe, as safe as she can be in her cir cum stances. I doubt that he will find time to make the trip back for our wedding. We can hardly expect it.’
‘I see…’ Susannah sighed and looked wistful. ‘I just wondered. I do not mean to interfere, Harry. I have learned my lesson, and I know that there is nothing I can do.’
