by Casey Herzog
Damien really did sound like he was older than he appeared. “It’s interesting that you would have this kind of insight. My father was absent most of my life and I didn’t know him like his students did. I feel like I have been left out of a part of his life. I had to stand on the sidelines waiting for him to reveal tidbits of information.”
Damien had wild eyes. He never took them off of me the entire time, and he was sitting there looking embarrassed and unwilling to show it. He was young enough to cry his eyes out, but he showed he was stronger than that.
I had made sure the coast was clear before we came back from the school. I wasn’t really sure what to call it, but it was a higher level of education. They never put a label on it, but I was going to call it the school. It was simple and easy to remember. There was no point in risking saying something mistakenly during an idle conversation. If someone were to hear “the school,” they probably wouldn’t be able to put the pieces together without some kind of context.
“I’m not budging until somebody gives me back my magic. I will stay right here and I won’t move until it happens.”
He really thought threats were going to make me give in, but there was no way I could allow him to feel he had that kind of power over me.
“I’m going to make something to eat. You can join me or not; it’s entirely up to you.” I was sure when he smelled the food and the aroma of the spices he would come running for dinner. It was just a matter of finding his weak spot and capitalizing on it. I didn’t want to do anything to harm him, but corporal punishment was looking better and better all the time.
“I don’t want anything from you. I would be afraid you were poisoning to get me out of the way. We both know I have the real power; you are nothing more than a pretender to the throne. Your father would’ve been better served to have me as a son. He told me many times he was disappointed in you. You always found a way to let him down. I told him you were just a girl; sometimes knowing that is enough. I tried to make him laugh, but I only infuriated him further.”
I left Damien sitting there and left the study. I looked back to see if he was following, but he was purposely trying to get underneath my skin.
William was in the kitchen and he had something cooking that was going to need a little bit more time. “I see you came back, but you were not empty handed. I don’t think it’s a very good idea for him to be here. We’ve tried to see past his anger, but it is hard when he’s still dealing with the festering wound of his parents dying. That is hard for anybody to handle, and it’s a loss that makes him lash out for no good reason. I would consider it an honor if you would allow me to help you with him.”
“The one thing that I don’t get is the reason why you kept all of this away from me. I always thought you didn’t see me, but I don’t think I can say that anymore. I had no idea a handsome guy like you could put culinary talents to work. I have been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember, and I’m still not very good at boiling water. I have mastered a few choice dishes, but only because I want to impress those who take the challenge of eating what I’ve made.” I knew that I was babbling like an idiot, but seeing him there sweating through his shirt, making those muscles bulge like a Greek god was making it very difficult to concentrate.
“Professor Bethesda and your father believed that you could be the one to reach him. I want to do my small part with a firm hand and wisdom to match. He doesn’t have anybody since he learned his temporary guardians were not what they were cracked up to be. I’ve never been in a position of being a brother because very few like us have more than one child. I don’t know for certain, but I believe it’s a mandate the Elders put forth to make sure they could keep an eye on those developing any kind of talent.”
William was moving around the kitchen like he knew exactly where everything was. He never left his spot, and I had to do was sit at the table and watch him in action like he was my own personal entertainment.
“I want Damien to live his life with no regrets. Happiness is fleeting, and keeping your feet off the ground and living by the seat of your pants is the only way to go. He can stay forever young, but only if he follows the advice he has been given repeatedly. I don’t know for certain, but between the two of us, I’m quite positive we can give him the discipline and family that was ripped from his life.”
I heard the meat sizzling as the steam rising from the pan was captured by the vent in the ceiling.
“I don’t know about you, but I think more clearly when I’m cooking. That’s one thing your father taught me. He said that if you could find something you love to do, then you could use it as a distraction. Magic is very strong, and you have to do something to keep the Elders from learning you are committing a crime.” I knew that the only way to get through the crippling loss of my father was to concentrate on something else. They had given me Damien as my distraction.
“That kid is not going to be fixed overnight. The loss he has felt is strong because a child always thinks his parents are going to be around forever. We all feel that way as children. I thought my father was invincible and nobody could touch him. It was quite shocking when I learned he was only human. He is at his rightful place in the ancestors’ hands.”
William made his own sauce from scratch and was dicing up garlic and onions like an accomplished chef. The skills that he had with a knife were like he had eyes in the back of his head. “I’m making lasagna. The noodles are already in the oven; I hope you like your sauce spicy. I’ve found a little heat doesn’t hurt anybody.” He had unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his shirt, leaving me with impure thoughts about his anatomy. I had to turn away with disgust for myself. I didn’t want to think of him in that way, especially when he was going out of his way to help me.
I was still young, but I could still feel this need to unleash my inhibitions. It was kind of strange. William was the only guy in school who made me feel those butterflies in my stomach. There was no greater sight for me than seeing a man cook for me. It showed he wasn’t expecting me to be at home taking care of him. I didn’t even know why I was thinking about a future with him. It wasn’t like he had shown any real romantic interest..
“I love lasagna, but I have a request that I’m not sure that you’re going to like. I have found that living right and eating right has come with sacrifices. It also means that I look for other ways to keep myself healthy.” I went to the pantry and found a bottle of crushed up crickets. “It’s a little unorthodox, but you must have heard the healing properties of using crickets in any meal.” He took the bottle from my hands. He looked at it skeptically and sprinkled it over the sauce bubbling to perfection.
“Some may think you have lost your mind, but I’m a little bit more open-minded than that. I have a unique palate and sometimes I wonder if I’m not just a little bit too weird for my own good. I think I told you this already, but your father was well respected. He gave us a voice where we didn’t have one before. We have to be very careful about who we introduce into the mix. You never know what spies are lurking in the Elders’ camp who will report back to them and tell them what they want to know. If that were to happen, then I don’t even want to think about the consequences for going against the rule of law.”
I saw him swallow hard. I was sure that he was thinking about the asylum and what someone has to go through during rehabilitation.
“I have to admit there’s something very attractive about a man getting his hands dirty in the kitchen.” I felt like my entire body was electrified, and it wasn’t necessarily because of magic eyes.
I watched him move with the grace of a dancer, and then I heard the pitter patter of little feet behind me. I glanced over my shoulder, barely recognizing his existence, but happy to see that Damien was drawn to the kitchen by the aroma of the sauce. He didn’t say anything and there was no point in getting into a shouting match over something out of his control.
William was about to say something to him, but I stopped him usin
g body language and facial expressions. At first, I didn’t think he understood, but then he nodded with recognition like we were connected on a different level.
“I saw you around, but I didn’t think you were in my league. What I mean to say is that I didn’t think I was in your league. You had a wholesome quality I felt I would be corrupting if I were to try anything. Besides, your father was always there in the back of my mind, telling me I should keep my distance if I knew what was good for me. I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but he could be quite a tyrant when it came to keeping you on a short leash.” My father really didn’t know me. Nobody did.
I didn’t know my father was playing referee, and I certainly didn’t see any signs of him coming to my rescue outside of the home. “I thought for sure you didn’t even notice me. I felt invisible like I was just part of the scenery. I’ve always felt like I never belonged anywhere, so I’ve always been thankful to have Julian as a friend.”
I thought about how he had introduced me to the others with magic, and how we had become fast friends. He was doing it because of my name, but I was giving that way too much thought. Pulling at that thread was only asking for trouble when there was no certainty in life. Nonetheless, it would appear he knew one or two things about loyalty when it came to my father.
“I can’t help but lose my temper, and I don’t know why. Your father took me underneath his wing and gave me a something of a purpose. I was just going through the motions and trying to hide from the Elders and their Guardians. A lot of us have stopped practicing in public because we fear the hunter is watching everywhere. I let that myth play with my mind.” He was stirring the pot, and then I heard this little voice in my head that I thought was my conscience.
”Go slow; you don’t want to get hurt. You’ve lost too much already, and any more will cripple you emotionally.” The voice made sense, but I had to take the risk to be happy.
“I want you to know I’m not here for your father. I’m here because you need me. I really don’t know what else to say other than you have become important to me. I have to say I was quite surprised by that myself. I’m not even thinking about my own protection; it scares me to think like this. I’ve been watching you from afar, but I don’t want that to scare you; I wouldn’t do anything to make you fear me.”
It was an old-fashioned notion that romance was still alive. He was cooking and putting on a show by juggling tomatoes and other vegetables. I touched his hand. One touch of his hand quickened my pulse.
“I don’t know who you are trying to fool. She may be too infatuated with you to realize you are a danger. I’m going to give you fair warning in her father’s name. I never liked Professor Lockhart, but at least he never lied to me. He treated me like I was an adult and not like a little kid you had to walk around on eggshells to avoid hurting. I feel it’s my duty to watch out for her. In the real world, we are less than equals, but her father spoke to me from the grave.”
Damien was certainly getting our attention and there was nothing that I could say. I wanted to hear what was on his mind.
“You and I have never been friends, Damien, but there’s no reason to slander my name. I have done nothing to warrant that kind of reaction. I have never given you any reason to think I was a threat. It hurts me that you see me that way. I’ve gone out of my way to welcome you, and you slap my hand away each and every time. I could be vindictive and tell you supper is only for me and Gillian, but I won’t; this is a meal meant to share with people I care about.” William was being nice, and I could tell Damien was skeptical
“You can take my word for it or not, Gillian. He’s trying to make you think of him as your savior, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I see his true intentions with a dark circle around his aura. I see into men’s hearts, and there is something more to William.” This had to be Damien’s way of pushing a wedge in between us, and for me to doubt William. I saw a good man, and I didn’t care what anyone said to the contrary.
Damien was speaking as if my father’s voice was telling him what to say. That man would never approve of anyone I was with. He liked to intimidate, but that was one thing he never could accomplish with me. I thought I was always one step ahead of him, but it could be the other way around.
“It would be a good idea for the both of you to wash up for dinner. Look at me talking like I’m the father of this dysfunctional family. Don’t mind me. Do whatever you want; I’m not one to dictate anyone’s lives,” William said.
I set the table and went upstairs to put on the seductive finishing touches to make him see me as a woman rather than a little girl.
I only used enough to accentuate the positives. I had a dress I had been keeping for a special occasion... It made me feel like I was emerging from a cocoon into a butterfly. I never had the courage to wear it. Even now, I was hesitant, but I wanted to make a lasting impression. I wanted him to see me as more than just a friend.
The mirror suddenly changed and my facial features began to shift noticeably like I was looking at the dark part of my soul all over again. I shouldn’t have done it, but I reached out and felt my hand being pulled like I was being torn apart.
I tried to scream but nothing came out. I was being sucked into something beyond my wildest imagination. I heard myself screaming in my head. It was loud enough to make me feel like I was losing my mind.
Chapter Ten
I stood there shivering in the freezing cold with windswept snow swirling around me. I was not dressed for the elements and I felt ill equipped to handle what was going to happen next.
I’d heard of a land like this, but nobody was brave enough to venture that far into the wilderness. There was one guy foolish enough, and he was never heard from again. They said that he died frozen in the snow clinging onto life with his last breath. Theodore Forster was a man who believed limitations were for fools.
“Loyalty is a lost commodity, and one you have to hold onto. Do not fear because I am there with you every step of the way; I will never leave you alone.
“Think hard about the person you believe is loyal to a fault. Give him substance and he will be there by your side. Forgive me, him or her; I know gender equality is something that you take seriously. Find your inner strength and reach deep because you’re going to need it.”
The voice was very unnerving, and I felt a growing pit in my stomach.
The pain was overwhelming and I doubled over, seeing my breath in front of me and knowing that dying of frostbite was a big possibility. There was nothing to see; everything was frozen for as far as the eye could see.
I was not ready to give up just yet; there was no way that I was going to allow anybody to kill the magic inside me. The pain was like somebody was punching me repeatedly without mercy or remorse. I grimaced through it and stood strong and tall as if I were standing where my father was.
“You have got to be kidding me. How is it even possible you thought of me at a time like this?” I turned to the voice and saw Damien standing there with icicles on his nose. “I told myself I shouldn’t get involved, but I did anyway. I don’t want to be a part of your task, but it doesn’t look like I have much of a choice.” I had no idea why I called upon Damien. It wasn’t like I even liked him. Who was I kidding; that wasn’t really true. There was something about him that made me think that he had some redeeming qualities.
Unfortunately, I didn’t think that loyalty was one of them, but maybe my perception was wrong. He was here for a reason and I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. There was no guarantee, but having him here made me think I had a fighting chance. I’d always believed I was a survivor. I wanted to be homebound, but facing this was a trial that could not be avoided.
“I would like to say I don’t need you, but for some reason, I am happy you’re here.” I saw the bracelet on his wrist and my heart sank with the knowledge that his magic was stunted temporarily. “I don’t even know what you can do in the shape you are in. It’s not like you can
reach down and unlock the magic hidden within. My father will always live in my precious memory and I feel like I need him more than I have ever needed him before.” I had fallen several times growing up in various degrees, but I always found a way to stand back up. It had to be the Lockhart blood making me stronger with every step I made in life.
“I’m going to reiterate that I don’t want to be here, but since I am, we may as well work together to find a way out.”
I turned hoping that it would be as simple as seeing a window of opportunity. I saw no visible sign of whatever doorway I had stepped through.
“Gillian, we don’t have to like each other, but we are going to have to rely on one another. Take my hand. Just because I can’t tap into my magic doesn’t mean you can’t.” I’d never thought of that. This kid was showing some amazing fortitude when it came to thinking outside of the box.
“I can only hope that this is not some manifestation of some nightmare I had when I was a child. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to you under my watch. You were entrusted to my care to show you a different way, and I feel like I have disappointed you. If there was a way, I would gladly send you back, but I don’t think that’s an option.” I had this overwhelming need to scream, and I did so with the wind ripping it from my throat never to be heard again.
“I’ve never been one to really wear my emotions on my sleeve. This is no time to feel sorry for yourself. Your father taught us these tests were meant to challenge the perception of what was considered right and wrong. Hard decisions have to be made in any war, and soldiers are built from sacrifices. Those are the very words your father told me when I had my first test. I don’t want to admit this, but my third test was my undoing. I’m not allowed to speak of it, but suffice it to say I didn’t have the moral fiber to be granted magic eyes. You are different than I am, and I don’t say that to build you up and then knock you back down.”
