by Casey Herzog
I had to believe that he would never tear away the fabric of our trust.
“I don’t mind admitting this is very hard for me. I’ve already stated publicly and privately that my main concern is Damien. I don’t care what other people might think about me, or the strange looks I get because of how easily I disposed of the Elders. You must know killing them, even under the influence of the magic eyes and the darker arts, has been troubling.” It felt like it was taking forever to get to Damien’s room, and I had this feeling my father was taking the long way around to get there.
“Some people may say life is what you make it, but I’ve always believed that fate plays a hand in everything we do. The one thing you need to know before you go in there is that Damien is waiting for you. He needs you to be the strong and confident leader he knows you can be. It’s a matter of priorities, and keeping things straight in your head, which you have always been able to do since you were young.”
He stopped with those thoughts. I had let people down by giving in so easily to the evil. I had always stressed magic was nothing to be feared, but I had done the worst possible thing to attract too much attention in my direction. Jasper, the hunter,would eventually call me out for a rematch. I had to wonder what he was doing, and what kind of pain he was inflicting on others because of my inability to destroy him.
“I know I have the responsibility of Damien’s care, and I don’t take that lightly.” I walked in to find Damien, exactly as I left him the time before. He was a blank slate staring like he could see something through the wall. Damien wasn’t moving an inch, but I could see him breathing on his own.
“Damien, what you said to me was not enough for me to put my life in peril. I need to know this is the right course of action to take. I can’t take it at face value that you mentioned the flower and how not to touch it and to touch it at the same time. It was a little strange. I need you to clarify what your intent is.”
I had to take a moment to wipe some involuntary drool from his chin. Then, I watched him intently to see if he was blinking or showing any signs of life. It was disconcerting to know we had all these people fighting for him, and it didn’t seem to make a damn bit of difference.
I remembered how my mother would sing to me when I was younger, but the melody really didn’t register. I hummed it until I got the hang of it; some of the lyrics even came back into my memory. If I was able to grab that, then it was a possibility the things I had forgotten about my mother were still there, lying dormant.
I listened to the melody in my head and it created a relaxing calm. I couldn’t explain it, but everything about her voice brought me peace. The sound of her voice stayed with me. Her face might have been obscured, but I reminded myself by looking at her photograph every morning and when I went to bed.
I seemed to recall the melody in my head was from some nursery rhyme. I couldn’t remember the context, and the lyrics were a little jumbled in my head to make much sense out of it. It had something to do with an animal getting trapped and having the forethought to ask for assistance from the one who had caused his misfortune.
It was funny, but I knew the animal was a dragon and that somehow it convinced its attacker to show mercy. I was getting to the best part where the dragon and its attacker became fast friends without the necessity for battle. They had found fighting didn’t solve anything; it was one of those lessons parents past onto their children.
“The flower is the answer. The answer for everything is found within. Climb to the highest heights and you’ll see.” It sounded like him, but once again it was riddles meant to make me scratch my head and go screaming into the night. “I need you to be strong. Listen to your heart and follow your instincts.” This sounded more like him, but it was possible two sides of a different coin were playing for dominance.
“I’ve always followed my heart and my instincts, Damien, and it has never failed. You need to give me something more, but I’m not sure you’re able to. I understand, and I would never try to force you to say anything without fully comprehending what is being said. I just need you to show me it’s really you and not something else trying to use you against me.” I was warming up to the idea that maybe Damien was there.
I was waiting for the clouds to part and for his mind to become cognitive of what it was saying. I wanted him to come back to me. I was foolish to let him leave, but it was not my choice. I knew that giving magic to everyone, including women, was a good idea. I just never took into consideration that each action has an equal and opposite reaction. Damien was the price I had to pay, and I regretted it every day of my life.
He grabbed my hand and force-fed me an image of the mountain with the waving flower beckoning me forward. There were also shadows moving around me in a circle. I was going to go up against insurmountable odds to give Damien the fighting chance he deserved.
I certainly didn’t want to, but the answer was pretty damn clear, not to be mistaken for something else. Damien had found a way to communicate in his own way, which was more than I could ever ask of him in his current condition. The community would need to be kept in the dark. The only people I would take into my confidence were my father and Julian. If I had the chance, I would speak to William, but getting close to him was not as easy as it sounded.
I patted his hand and he fell back into a kind of seizure, making him shake and look in dire need of someone to come to his rescue. I tried to hold him down, but I was literally thrown clear and rebounded against the wall like I weighed nothing. The magic inside him was strong, and it was fighting with everything it had to break free of whatever prison he was in.
Chapter Nine
“We stabilized him as much as we could, but his prognosis is not the best. If the flower is the answer, then it needs to be retrieved as soon as possible. Julian has been making progress in getting the other ingredients, but it’s going to be up to us to do the rest. You can’t possibly believe I was going to allow you to do this on your own? Had I been around when you needed me, this whole thing could have been avoided, which is my cross to bear.”
I was kind of elated my father was taking an interest in my life, but I was wondering if having him around wasn’t going to be more of a nuisance. The darker arts were still with me and there was a tendril of its existence clawing at my consciousness to awaken something.
“The only thing you have to remember is that I’m your daughter, but I’m also an independent woman with a mind of her own. Don’t go thinking because you’re my father you can tell me what to do. Experience does go a long way, but you are far in-between the generation gap.”
“I’m always going to consider you my little girl, and that’s never going to change. We’ve had this discussion before, but I do know you can take care of yourself. You may have gotten lost, but I think anybody in your position would’ve done the same thing. It would’ve been a greater risk for anybody else, and I doubt they would have had the same success in breaking free. I want you to know I am very proud of you, and I live through you. I’ve always had good intentions, but sometimes I naively think I am the answer when nobody really knows the question.”
I was prepared to sacrifice my life, but I really didn’t want to walk down this path alone. Unlike the last time, my father was going to be with me, and we would face everything together. Between the two of us, we had a vast intellect and a wealth of experience that would take us a long way. Having him back, set me free and stopped the nagging insistence of second guessing myself.
We had our supplies together and gathered at the school for the gifted. They were not very happy with my temporary sabbatical from teaching. Penelope and Tabitha were glaring at one another, and I tried to make them see working together was far more important than any misunderstanding. It wasn’t easy, but there was a temporary peace. But how long it was going to last without me around to keep them in line? Julian was taking over with consultation from other professors, including professor Bethesda, who was going to pop in from time to time to see
how things were going.
I felt a tug on my sleeve and I looked down to see Tabitha pleading with me. “I’m just starting to learn the basics and you’re leaving me with no female guidance. Julian is fine, but he doesn’t have your patience. I would never presume to tell you what to do. I just hope this trip is uneventful and you come back soon.” She was very brave and strong for a little girl, but I wouldn’t have expected anything less.
“This is the one time Tabitha and I agree on something. I’ve been very close to crossing the invisible line. The only thing preventing me was you. I doubt seriously Julian is going to have the right words to sway me from doing something bad. I do hope you find what you’re looking for. Friendships have never really been for me, and I’ve never been able to trust anybody besides myself. You might be the exception, but then you pull this stunt. I’m not going to let you go without giving you a piece of my mind.”
Leaving had its disadvantages, and there was the possibility of coming back to see things had gotten worse instead of better.
“You can rest assured everything will be taken care of. I’m not you, but I do have my own style, which has worked for me. The more advanced and stubborn students have been keeping me busy. I’m going to have to split my attention to include the women who have shown magic can be trusted in their hands.” Julian was ill prepared, and there was nothing I could say to build his confidence when he was dealing with members of the female species.
I picked up my bag and strapped it over my shoulder. I felt the weight of the provisions weighing me down. I’d never taken this long a hike or to any kind of altitude that was going to feel like the air was sucking out of me. I was no stranger to pushing myself beyond my limit, but I could only hope my fortitude would give me what I needed.
“I’m very disappointed in you. I was just starting to think you were never going to leave me. I should’ve known given a chance you would want to make tracks. I don’t mean to be this defensive, but this whole thing has brought it out of me. I would be very careful when you come back. You never know what the landscape is going to look like on your return. There could be some interesting changes. I’m not saying that to threaten you or to make you rethink your decision, but I thought you should be forewarned. Julian might be in over his head.” Penelope was referring to herself and how she was going to make Julian’s life a lot more difficult than it had to be.
“There’s no reason why you and Julian can’t be friends. He has always been there for me, and I trust he will do the same for you and the other students. Since you are the oldest of them all, I want you to take an active role in dispensing some of your own wisdom and guidance.” I figured the best thing to do for Penelope was to give her some responsibility. She looked completely shocked by my suggestion, but I think she was secretly delighted that I had decided she was worthy of my respect.
“I think I may have underestimated you and for that, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart. I hope your trust in me is warranted. I’ve been dancing along the line for some time with the possibility of going too far. Perhaps, I can learn from my mistakes and teach others not to follow in my footsteps.” This was what I wanted to hear, but I wasn’t sure how much I could believe.
“I knew if given the chance you could rise above all of my expectations. Tabitha is the one I want you to take a special interest in. She’s growing by leaps and bounds, and without a helping hand, she could get lost and become something she won’t even recognize. You also have the capability, but you’re old enough to know when to pull back at the right time.” By giving her a chance, I was telling her that I knew she would do the right thing.
“You’re making it very hard to stay mad at you. I will do what I can to live up to your expectations. I still feel there is more out there for me to learn -- there’s this pull towards something ugly, in my opinion. It’s very powerful. Others have felt the same thing, but maybe not in the same regard. For the most part, I have fought its influence, but it’s a little like a jokester playing on my need to make others miserable.” She had never voiced these concerns before, and I wanted to make sure she knew of the strength within her.
“Penelope, you and I both know there are forces out there working to corrupt those with magic. I was in your shoes, but I did not show your promise, which is scary to a lot of people. You can’t blame them for reacting, but we need to be the example and not the problem. We have to be better than what they think we can be. It’s the only way to prove to them of how far we have come in such a short period of time.”
I hugged both of them, letting them immerse themselves into the warmth of the magic between the three of us. They were both strong in their own ways, but Tabitha could easily slip and fall into a darker path. I could use Penelope to break the cycle of violence and make her realize the best thing for everybody was to contain the power burning in their veins.
“I don’t know how you did it, but I want you to be proud of me. I feel something coming, like a cloud on the horizon. It’s gaining strength as it gets closer. I would be remiss if I didn’t at least tell you to be careful. It won’t be the same without you, but we will manage to muddle through somehow. I can’t promise not to give Julian a hard time. It would be like trying to change somebody and their basic nature. What I can do is think twice before I act, which hopefully will be enough for me to see my actions have consequences.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of Penelope, but her sincerity was hopefully infectious.
“I’m going to do you one better, Penelope. I want you to teach a couple of classes, especially within the natural elements. You’re better than most in manipulating the natural elements. I want to utilize your strengths to help others attain the same goals. This is not just for them, but it’s for you to learn how to work with others. They may not listen to you, but with careful consideration, I’m sure you can come up with constructive ways to make things pleasant. These kids respond to a fun way of doing things without making it feel like it’s monotonous and boring.”
It was possible giving too much responsibility to Penelope would lead her to feel suffocated, but it was a chance I was willing to take.
“You have to stop making me feel like I belong somewhere. I want to see things differently and to know what I teach them is something they can use.” I could see young Tabitha reaching out, and I thought it was for me, but she seemed to be more interested in my shadow tiger. I didn’t even know anybody else could see him, but it was obvious Tabitha was on a wavelength of her own.
“You both have the world in the palm of your hands. That is a huge responsibility and is to be taken seriously. Life can be whatever you put into it, but hard work is the only answer and there are no shortcuts. You might think you can take chances on your own, but the allure of magic can be quite debilitating. I want you to get along in my absence.”
They could either be friends or the kind of enemies with long standing memories.
“I sometimes forget others are not as strong as we are, and it’s not right to ridicule them or make them dance like puppets for my own selfish amusement. I’m sorry I gave you any reason to doubt your teaching ability. I’ve always done things a certain way, and it’s hard to listen to someone else. I can’t promise that I’m going to be a good girl, but I can make some allowance for those who get on my nerves. That’s far more than I think they deserve. One day, I might see the world as you do, but right now, it’s a little hard to think of them as more than small and insignificant. I think on some level I’ve always been jealous of Tabitha because she is so young and already she is performing at my level. It’s hard not to recognize myself in her eyes when I was her age.”
I had always had a feeling it was something like that, but I had to let her make the conclusion on her own.
“I hate to break this up, but we really need to get going while it’s still light. We might make it to the base of the mountain before we have to set up camp. People have spoken of strange occurrences in the middle of the ni
ght. We don’t venture far outside of this community unless it’s during daylight hours because nobody knows what lurks out there waiting for unsuspecting victims to fall into their trap,” my father said with his attention to the mountain in the distance.
It was a hell of a fight to find my way back to my father, and I wasn’t going to give up on my belief to be equals.
I couldn’t seem to let go of Penelope or Tabitha, but they finally backed away, looking out of breath and feeling embarrassment at showing this kind of affection to another.
“We will both look out after one another. It’s the least that we can do for what you have taught us. I can’t speak for Penelope, but I’m going to miss you greatly, like a piece of me is missing.” I wanted them both to know their potential was huge. It was a matter of smoothing out the wrinkles and giving them the right tools to make the hard decisions.
“All my life, I felt I never measured up and I was walking in your shadow. I don’t need to live up to any lofty expectations. The only person I have to be better than is me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I finally came to terms with what you taught me all of my life. Little snippets of information and guidance goes a long way to forming me into the woman you see today.”
“I never wanted you to feel like there was any reason for you to live in my shadow. I want you to be your own woman. Making mistakes is a part of life, but I feel it’s my responsibility to make sure you are ready for anything.”
I walked ahead of him, taking the lead, which was going to get under his skin. He was above reproach in most people’s eyes, but I was ready to cast aside his strict upbringing. We had a few hours, and making it on foot to the base of the mountain before the sun went down was not going to be easy.
