Currency of Souls
Kealan Patrick Burke
Welcome to Eddie’s Tavern, the only functioning waterhole in a near-dead town. Among the people you’ll meet tonight are: Tom, Milestone’s haunted lawman, who walks in the shadow of death; Gracie, the barmaid, a wannabe actress, doomed to spend her hours tending bar in a purgatory of her father’s making; Flo, the town seductress, who may or may not have murdered her husband; Cobb, a nudist awaiting an apology from the commune who cast him out; Wintry, the mute giant, whose story is told only in cryptic messages scribbled beneath newspaper headlines; Kyle, the kid, who keeps a loaded gun beneath the table; and Cadaver, who looks like a corpse, but smells real nice, and occupies his time counting stacks of pennies. And then there’s Reverend Hill, who will be in at eleven, regular as clockwork, to tell them who’s going to die, and who’s going to drive.
Welcome to Eddie’s, where tonight, for the first time in three years, nothing will go according to plan.
Kealan Patrick Burke
CURRENCY OF SOULS
To Bill Schafer,
For the faith
Part One: Saturday Night at Eddie’s
Chapter One
Eddie’s Tavern.
This is where I come to try to forget my pain. There’s so much of it here that isn’t mine, it should make me feel better, but it doesn’t.
And yet here I am, same as always. Saturday night at Eddie’s.
There’s no neon sign out front, nothing to advertise this as a place to come drown your sorrows, and that makes sense because sorrows aren’t drowned here, not all the way, only pushed under and held for a while.
The moon is a nicotine-stained fingernail as I step out of my truck, ponder the feel of my gut straining against my belt, and ease the door shut behind me. I’m getting fat, and I suppose as they say, like death and taxes, I’m shit out of luck if I expect to be surprised by it. Man eats as much chili as I do without chasing it down with a few laps around the barn, well… weight doesn’t evict itself.
I start on the path to the tavern door and see pale orbs behind the smoked glass turn in my direction. Nothing slips past these people, quiet or not. The door doesn’t creak, though it’s old enough to have earned that luxury. Instead it sighs. I sigh too, but I don’t share the door’s regret. For me, I’m just glad to be out of the cold and among friends, even if they mightn’t look at me the same way. Even if, in the dark of night when sleep’s a distant memory, I really don’t think of them the same way either.
All the usual folks are here.
The pale willowy woman with the figure that could have been carved from soap, that’s Gracie. She inherited this place from her Daddy, and considers it less a gift than another in a long line of curses from a man who dedicated his life to making hers a living hell. Leaving her the bar was his way of ensuring she’d stay right where he wanted her, in a rundown hole with no prospects and surrounded by friends not her own. Gracie has no love for anyone, least of all herself. She’s still got her looks, though they fade a little every day, and she’d get out of this place in a second if she thought the city would take her. I’m sure it probably would. Take her, grind her up, and spit her out to die on some dogshit-encrusted sidewalk a thousand miles from home. Chances are a pretty girl like that with little world experience would end up missing, or turning tricks in the back office of some sleazy strip-joint to keep her in heroin. No, a girl like Gracie is better off right where she is, polishing glasses that stay so milky with grime you almost expect to see smoke drift out of them when she picks them up. She might be miserable, but I figure that’s her own doing. Her overbearing father’s influence is just an excuse. He’s dead, after all, and buried out back. There’s nothing to stop her selling this dive, except maybe a burning need to prove herself to his ghost.
At the bar sits a naked man. That’s Cobb. Cobb says he’s a nudist, and is waiting for the rest of the colony to come apologize for treating him so poorly. What they did to him is unclear, but he’s been waiting almost three years now so most of us expect he’s going to die disappointed. Cobb has big ears, a wide mouth and a line of coarse gray hair from the nape of his neck to the crack of his bony ass. He looks like a hungover werewolf caught in mid-transformation, and knows only four jokes. His enthusiasm doesn’t diminish no matter how many times he tells them.
“Sheriff…” he says with a wide grin.
Here comes the first of them.
“A sailor and a penguin walk into a bar…”
“You’ll have to take the back door,” I respond, feeding him his own punch line.
“Shit… I told you that one?”
“Once or twice.”
Two stools down, sits Wintry McCabe, a six foot six giant of a man who could probably blow the whole place clear into the next state if he sneezed. He’s mute though, so you’re shit out of luck if you’re waiting for a warning. Gracie asked him once how he’d lost his voice and that’s how we all found out that even if he could talk, chances are he wouldn’t say very much. Near the top of the Milestone Messenger (our weekly rag), in the tight white space beneath the headline, he wrote, in blue ink and childish handwriting: WENT UP THE RIVER. COST ME MY WORDS. Then he smiled, finished his drink and left. After he’d gone, we speculated what the Messenger’s new and intriguing sub-header might mean. Cobb reckons Wintry lost his tongue in a fishing or boating incident. Florence thinks he did something that affected him spiritually, something that forced him to take a vow of silence as repentance. Cadaver believes Wintry’s done hard time, was “sent up the river” and someone in there relieved him of his tongue. I favor this theory. He looks like a man with secrets, none of them good. But Wintry has never volunteered any clarification on the subject; he hasn’t written a message since, and he seldom opens his mouth long enough or wide enough for us to see if that tongue’s still attached. If he can’t communicate what he wants with gestures, he goes without. That’s the kind of guy he is. But while it remains a mystery why he’s mute, we at least know why he’s called “Wintry”. He got the name on account of how he lives in an old tarpaper shack on the peak of Grable Mountain, the only mountain within 100 miles that has snow on the top of it no matter what the season. As a result, even when there’s suffocating heat down here in the valley, Wintry’s always dressed in thick boots, gloves, and a fur-lined parka, out of which his large black hairless head pokes like a turtle testing the air. Tonight, he’s testing a Scotch, neat. And while may not be able to talk, he sure likes to listen.
He’s listening to Florence Bright now. She’s sitting sideways on her stool, her pretty ankle-length dress covering up a pair of legs every guy in town dreams about. She’s wearing a halter-top to match, the flimsy cotton material hiding another pair of attributes every guy in town dreams about. Flo is the prettiest gal I know. Reminds me a little of Veronica Lake in her heyday, right down to the wavy blonde hair and dark, perfectly plucked eyebrows. Florence has the dubious honor in this town of being both a woman in high demand, and a woman feared, but guys get drunk enough they forget they’re afraid of her. Everyone thinks she murdered her husband, see, and while I don’t know for sure whether she did or not, it’s enough to keep me from sidling up to her in my sad little lovelorn boots. Wasn’t much of a justice system here at the time, and I did what I could investigation-wise but wasn’t a badge inside the city limits or out that could pin the blame on Flo. Nothing added up, and I have to wonder how many male—hell, maybe even female—cops were just fine with that. Wonder how many she sweet-talked into forgetting themselves. After all, we had a woman obviously abused by her husband, then said abuser turns up not only dead but so dead even the coroner coughed up the last bit of grub he’d poked into his mouth when he saw the body.
Something wasn’t right. That, or someone didn’t do something they should’ve. More than once I’ve put myself under that particularly hot spotlight but quit before I get too close to things I’d rather not see.
So that’s Flo, and looking at her there, the last thing you’d ever call her is a murderer. Of course that might just mean she’s cold-hearted. But whether or not she knifed Henry Bright to death, doused his body in kerosene and lit the match, I have to admit I get a stab of envy every time she laughs and touches Wintry’s elbow. Long time since I made a woman laugh. Long time since I did anything to a woman but make her weep.
I take a seat at one of three round tables spread out between the bar and the door. The abundance of space and lack of furniture make the place seem desolate and empty no matter how many customers it has, though the seven people here now, myself included, is about as busy as it gets. Except on Saturday nights, of course, when we expect one more. The poor lighting, courtesy of two plain bulbs hooded by cracked green shades, does nothing but spotlight dust and crowd everybody’s table with shadows.
At the table across from me, a young man in a plaid shirt sits sweating and scowling at me through his dark hair. One hand holds his bottle of beer in a white-knuckle grip; the other is under the table. Probably on a gun. That’s Kyle Turner, and he’s wanted me dead since the night I murdered his parents. That was last summer. Every Saturday night since, the kid’s been in here, trying to talk himself into using that Magnum .357 of his to ventilate my skull, but so far he hasn’t been able to draw it out from under the table. So he just sits there glaring, and has Gracie drop the beer down to him at his table so he doesn’t have to get up and reveal the piece he thinks I don’t know about.
Someday he might get the guts to do it, and they’ll probably kick him out of here, but only for disturbing the peace, not because he’ll have disturbed my brain with a few warm rounds of the kind not meant to be served in bars. I admit I get a bit of a kick out of seeing him though, and if he weren’t there I’d surely miss him. His hatred of me makes me feel a little like Wild Bill Hickock.
I know nodding a greeting at him will only aggravate him further, so instead I look the other way, away from the bar, back toward the door and the table shoved right up against the wall to the right of it. Cadaver is sitting there, lost in the shadows, though I smelled him as soon as I came in. I didn’t offer him a greeting because you’re not supposed to unless he offers you one first. It’s a tradition that precedes my patronage here, so I honor it without knowing why.
“Evenin’, Tom,” he says, in that voice of his that sounds like someone dragging a guitar pick over a bass string. He’s got a box where his larynx would be, which I guess is the cost of sixty years of smoking, and his face has sunken so deep you can almost see the contours of his chipped fillings beneath the skin. He’s got a cataract in one eye, the lid is pulled halfway down over the other, and an impressively wide scar bisects his face from forehead to cleft of chin. He’s a sight, and knows it, which is why he favors the dark, where he counts the pennies from his pocket and places them in rows, over and over and over again, until the sound of those coins meeting each other starts to feel like a measurement of time.
An ugly man, for sure, but damn he smells so good he makes me ashamed of my cheap cologne. Makes me wish I’d remembered to buy a nice bottle of Calvin Klein or some such fragrance. Something expensive. You can tell a lot by the way someone smells. Cadaver uses his to hide the smell of death.
“Evening,” I tell him back, and feel more than see his twisted smile.
“Wonder who’s drivin’ tonight,” he says, each word separated by a crackling swallow. It’s wrong of me to say it, but I wish he wouldn’t talk. Man without a human voice is better staying quiet, and I know that grinding electro-speak gives everyone else the creeps too.
“Wish I knew,” I say, and turn to the bar. “Gracie?”
“Comin’ up.” She tosses on the bar the soiled rag she’s been using to wipe the counter. “Hot or cold?” This is her way of asking if I want beer or whiskey. A strand of her auburn hair falls across her eyes as she waits for my reply, and she whips it back with such irritation, I’m suddenly glad she doesn’t have a kid to use as a piñata for her misery.
“Both,” I answer, because it’s that kind of night.
As if I’ve asked her to wash my damn car, she sighs and sets about getting my drinks.
I drop my gaze to the mirror behind the bar and see Wintry raise a hand. His reflection waggles its fingers, keeps waggling them like a spider descending a strand of silk, until the hand is out of sight, then he nods twice and goes back to his drink.
“I heard,” I say to his broad expanse of back. “We could do with it.” I glance over at the kid, see his puzzled expression surface through the anger before he catches me looking and quickly goes back to scowling. His arm tenses, and I wonder briefly if I’m going to feel a bullet rip through my crotch, or my knee. The way that gun is angled makes me wish he’d just take the damn thing out and go for a headshot. But I guess he wants to make me suffer as much as possible.
“Wintry says rain’s coming,” I explain, careful to make it seem like a general announcement so the kid doesn’t decide I’m trying to make a fool out of him by implying he didn’t get it.
“Started already,” Cadaver drones from the shadows.
“Weatherman says it’s goin’ to be a storm,” Cobb intones, his buttocks wriggling as a shudder passes through him. “Hope I can bed down in here if it does.” This last is directed at Gracie as she rounds the bar, a bottle of Bud in one hand, a bottle of whiskey in the other.
“This ain’t a boardin’ house, Cobb,” she says over her shoulder, puffing air up to get the errant lock of hair out of her eyes. I’m struck by the sudden urge to brush it out of her face for her, but she’d likely jerk away and tell me to mind myself, and she’d be right of course. Long ago I learned that men and women’s ideas of polite isn’t always the same, and never will be as long as we guys feel compelled to consult our dicks every time a woman walks into the room. “But there are plenty of empty places on Winter Street. I’m sure Horace and Maggie’d show you someplace to lay your bones. Hell, if you dog Kirk Vess’s heels, I bet he’ll lead you to shelter.”
Vess is our town lunatic, a card Gracie has played in the past just to get on Cobb’s nerves.
“I’m sure.” Cobb’s repulsion at the idea is clear, but everyone here knows he’s fighting a losing battle if he thinks he’ll get Gracie to cave. “I can pay you though.”
Gracie puts down my drinks, brushes dust off my table and looks into my eyes for the tiniest of seconds, enough to let me know that the superhuman precognitive sense unique to women has alerted her to what I’d just a moment ago been considering. And the message is: Lucky you didn’t.
She heads back to the bar, a lithe woman dressed in drab clothes designed to make her look less attractive. I’ll never understand that, but then again, the day men understand women is the day we may as well go sit on our plots and wait to be planted.
Or maybe I’m just not that bright at the back of it all.
“You can pay me by puttin’ some clothes on,” she tells Cobb. “Maybe if you were covered up, you wouldn’t need to fret about the rain.”
“I’ll put you up,” Cadaver offers in his robot voice, and Cobb turns slowly around, his bare ass making squeaking sounds against the top of the stool. I wonder how much Pine-Sol Gracie uses in any given month on that chair alone. It’s the only one she allows him use. Just that chair, or his squeaky ass goes on the floor.
There’s a look of consternation on Cobb’s heavily bearded face when he turns fully around, his small blue eyes squinting into the shadows, as if seeing Cadaver will lessen his distaste at the idea of spending the night with the man. His chest is a mass of silvery curls, thickest along his sternum where it leads down over a swollen belly to a frenzied explosion of pubic hair, from which a small stubby penis pokes out. We’ve been seeing Cobb and
his tackle for three years now. We should be used to it, and I guess for the most part we are, but every time his dick eyeballs me, I want to ask him if chestnut leaves are considered clothing by whatever governing body inflicted his nakedness on us in the first place. But I keep my mouth shut and avert my eyes, to the kid, who’s doing a good job of looking like he may rupture something at any minute, and finally focus on my drink.
There’s a thumbprint on the shot glass too large to be mine.
“That’s mighty decent of you,” Cobb says eventually.
“Don’t mention it.”
Over Cadaver’s pennies, I can almost hear the hamster wheel spinning in the nudist’s head. Then he says, “But you know what…? I’ll just call my wife. She won’t mind comin’ to get me. Not at this hour. Not at night.” He claps his hands as if he’s just stumbled upon the cure for world hunger. “Hell, she’ll have heard there’s goin’ to be a storm, so she’ll have to come get me, right? No woman would make her man walk in this kinda weather.” He’s looking for support now, and not for the first time I envy Wintry’s muteness, because everyone here knows that getting Mrs. Cobb to come get her husband isn’t going to be as easy as he seems to think. The day he abandoned clothes was the last time anyone saw Eleanor Cobb in town. Naturally, we worried, but a few weeks after her husband’s ‘unveiling’ I checked on her. She’s fine, just laid up with a terminal case of mortification that I don’t see ending until Cobb starts wearing shorts, or that chestnut leaf. Why she stays with him at all is another one of those mysteries.
“You could always start walkin’ now before the worst of it hits,” Flo chimes in. Her voice is husky, perfectly befitting a crime noir femme fatale. It makes my hair stand on end in a good way. “No one ever drowned in the rain.”
Cobb ignores her. He’s got a drink before him and intends to finish it. He squeaks back around to face the bar. “Can I use the phone?” he asks Gracie, and this at least she’s willing to allow, even though it’s a payphone and no one should need permission. But this is Gracie’s place, and things run differently here. Stone-faced, she scoops one of the nudist’s dollars off the bar, feeds it into the till, and drops four quarters into his outstretched palm. With a grin of gratitude, Cobb hops off his stool and heads out to the small hallway that leads to the payphone, and the restrooms beyond.
Currency of Souls Page 1
