When her parents had died in a carriage accident, her cousin Lizzie had taken her in. When Lizzie married an earl, Lizzie’s husband, Chris, had become her adopted father.
Barrett was Chris’s close friend and May’s uncle by choice. A fact that she was eternally grateful for. But between Chris, Barrett, and their friend Alex, she had the equivalent of three adopted fathers. And all three were in agreement, America was not an option.
And so she’d devised a plan to stay. While here, she’d find a husband. Barrett couldn’t object to her living in America if she were married to an American. She had a dowry in her own right, a rather large one as two dukes and an earl had contributed to the fund.
In this moment, however, she was suffering from one tiny hiccup in the plan. She’d always fancied Loudoun. He’d been her girlhood daydream. She’d expected to come and find that he’d married or he’d aged terribly or that her feelings had simply disappeared. But here he stood, tall, broad, handsome and… English.
“I could ask him, but he’s damn hard to get information out of and so I’d rather ask you.” Loudoun was now staring intently at the poker table, not meeting her eye. It gave her the opportunity to stare at his handsome profile. Just looking at him made an unfamiliar ache pulse deep inside.
This was not going even remotely to plan. She didn’t want a surly English earl. She wanted an American cowboy or railroad man. “Has it been that long since you’ve been to England? You’re not supposed to curse in front of ladies.”
“Strictly speaking, you are not a lady.” He quirked an eyebrow at her and she tried not to grimace. He’d touched her most sensitive nerve. She wasn’t a lady and every member of the peerage, even the ones living in America, had taken note of that fact. Another reason she should forget about her fantasy of Loudoun.
A willowy blond passed by, her eyes all over Loudoun. Despite having just told herself to forget him, jealousy prickled along May’s skin making her stand up straighter. The other woman’s eyes landed on May and her lip curled into a sneer.
It was instinctual. May slid closer to him, a small sign of possession. She was touching him again, his hard angles and strength making her go soft on the inside. She shouldn’t like it so much but it terribly satisfying to be this close to him.
She heard Loudoun’s intake of breath as he tensed away. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” Her eyes snapped to his, breaking the moment of bliss. “What are you doing?”
“I’m standing here minding my own business.” He looked at her then and his face tightened, lips pinched. His visceral reaction to the sight of her was the oddest behavior she’d ever encountered. It shouldn’t bother her, she didn’t want him but somehow his physical rejection hurt her more than most.
“I’m standing here minding my own business,” she repeated shrugging again.
His eyes were searching her face again. “You are still a child, after all.”
After all? Had he actually noticed she wasn’t? She almost denied the claim. But that would have sounded childish. So instead she pried her eyes from his and let her gaze sweep the smoke-filled room. “There is nothing to be said in such a ridiculous conversation. I’ve no choice but to stand next to you while Barrett plays and since you seem determined to convince me to return to Europe when I’ve spent a month crossing the ocean to get here, I really don’t know what else I might possibly say.” She looked at him again, a good long stare. “Other than I am not the one acting childish.” Another question was on the tip of her tongue. Why didn’t he like her?
She dropped her hand from the crook of his elbow. She didn’t even want him. Why did his rejection sting so much? He’d been a childhood fantasy, nothing more. Now she needed to focus on her adult dreams. An American husband who would allow her to stay in America forever.
Silly girl, she chided herself. Maybe he was right to call her childish after all.
“You’re right. I apologize.” He raked his hand through his hair.
Well that was something, she supposed. If they both lived here, they might see each other in the future. She’d like to be friends at least. Turning to him, she tilted her face up to his. “I’ve fond memories of that crossing. I thought you might as well. Perhaps not of the crossing, but of me.”
He didn’t look at her, his eyes were now trained at his feet, his expression dark, pained. “It was the most difficult time of my life.” His face spasmed. “Try to understand, May. Seeing you reminds me of that.”
“Oh,” she whispered again. Because that was awful. And potentially insurmountable. Looking at her reminded him of the worst experience he’d had. “Well it was one of the best for me.” She swallowed down the lump in her throat. She wouldn’t get emotional. “It was the first time I thought I might have made a difference in someone’s life.”
“You did.” He scrubbed his hand down his face. As though the entire conversation pained him.
It was suddenly hurting her too and this time, she stepped back. “It’s all right. You don’t have to say it.” She waved her hand as if she could brush away his words. Some relationships were best left in the past. Clearly her girlhood fantasies and his past trauma meant they could never be friends.
“May, I’m not--”
She held up her hand. “Don’t.” Tears were welling in her eyes. She’d experienced this sort of rejection from many within the peerage but somehow his cut so much deeper. Her heart ached, though she didn’t fully understand why.
Barrett approached them, having left the game. “We’ve another meeting with Jefferson Railroad tomorrow. We’ll lock it up then.”
“Excellent,” Loudoun nodded, schooling his features once again.
“I’ve sold my home in New York and May and I are staying at a hotel tonight. But it would be far easier for business purposes if we just stayed with you.” Barrett clapped him on the shoulder.
If May hadn’t been so upset, she would have laughed. Because it was so like Barrett to just invite himself to stay at someone’s home, completely disregarding social convention.
Loudoun’s jaw ticked. “Of course.”
Her eyes fluttered closed. She’d just realized they couldn’t even be friends and now she’d be stuck in a house with him.
This was a disaster.
THIS WAS A DISASTER. May under his roof with those curves, and her sweet chocolate brown eyes and her… he forced himself to stop thinking like that.
It didn’t matter how many endowments she had. They were ample. She’d always be a girl to him. A sweet, kind girl who deserved the absolute best from life.
Barrett began walking and May followed, her hips swaying suggestively as she went. His teeth clicked together again. How could he continue to think of her as a child when she walked like that?
The blond made a third pass, her shoulder brushing his as she went by. He barely glanced at her, his eyes fixed on May’s figure just ahead of him. His fingers itching to rest around her tiny waist, to pull her close.
He growled to himself. He had to stop thinking this way. It was never happening. She was too innocent and he was far too gone. There was so little good left in him.
They weaved their way through the crowd, several men also taking notice of May’s virtues. He put on his most menacing glare and stared down each one he saw looking at her. None of them were good enough either.
Finally making it to the entrance, Barrett turned to him. “We’ll be arriving first thing in the morning. Please feel free to continue with the festivities.”
Loudoun shrugged. “I tired of the festivities two hours ago.”
Barrett gave him a grin. “I understand. Do you have a carriage here?”
Loudoun gave a shake of his head. “I’ll hire a hack.”
“Nonsense, we’ll take you back.” Barrett stepped outside.
Loudoun made to argue but a carriage was already pulling up to the stairs to receive them. Ah, to be a duke.
As soon as a footman opened the door, Barrett hand
ed May in then climbed in himself. Loudoun followed.
He entered the dark interior, and immediately realized the problem. May was seated on one bench, Barrett on the other. Two large men on one bench seemed ridiculous but sitting next to May was a terrible mistake. Crouched over as he was, he needed to decide. Not to mention, he looked ridiculous pausing in such a way. And so, he sat next to May.
For a moment, her scent wrapped around him again, making him ache. But then she scooted towards the window, putting as much space between them as the carriage would allow.
“Is the city as you remember?” Barrett asked May softly.
“It’s so much bigger,” she breathed, smiling again.
He could hear her excitement, enthusiasm for life. Some piece of him ached to have lost that same zest, if he’d ever had it.
“How can a city grow so quickly?” She turned to Barrett. “Is the entire country expanding like this? It’s so exciting.”
“Don’t get any ideas. We’ve already told you. You’re going back to England. Your future is there.” Barrett’s voice had taken on a fatherly sternness that helped Loudoun relax. While May was no longer a child, she was still an innocent. Certainly not a sultry temptress.
But she’d always been exceedingly bright, even at thirteen. “How long are we staying in New York?” Her voice was neutral, the excitement gone. But he saw her lean forward, clearly more interested in the answer than she was letting on. Did Barrett know she was up to something? He’d seen May plot before. This bore all the signs.
He heard Barrett shift and he too flexed his neck, twisting his head from side to side. The duke let out a hiss of breath and his arms crossed over his chest.
“May,” Barrett’s voice held a warning tone.
She turned to him then, ignoring Barrett and the conversation they’d just been having. “Did Barrett tell you? Piper just gave birth to their fourth child. Another boy. You should see him, he’s the sweetest little lamb.”
An image burst into his thoughts, which he quickly pushed out again. One of May holding a beautiful little baby, wearing that same glowing smile. He pushed himself back into the corner of the seat as though distance would make these images go away.
“Don’t think you’ll distract me by talking about Calvin. You are like one of my children and I won’t neglect your future.”
“Tell him, Loudoun, that I’m not a child anymore.” Even in the dim light he could see her leaning forward, the profile of her beautiful face.
His throat tightened, restricting his ability to answer. Because she wasn’t a child anymore but he desperately wanted her to be. As a woman she was too tempting by half.
“Don’t answer that, Loudoun. She has this ridiculous notion that she’ll stay in America. She even wants an American husband, though she has an offer from an earl waiting for her in England.” Barrett tossed his hands in the air. “Your home is with us.”
She wanted to stay in America? His hands clenched as a wild hope and something akin to dread raced through him. He wanted her here, he realized, completely surprised. But it would be absolute torture to see her married to someone else.
“My home is nowhere,” she answered softly, pain radiated from the words. Slumping back against the seat, she turned her face back to the window.
His throat tightened because those words resounded in his heart. It had been a long time since he’d had a real home, his adult life marked with loneliness. But that was how he wanted it, he told himself, and he swallowed hard to erase the feelings of loss.
“May,” Barrett’s voice was unlike he’d ever heard it before. Always it was filled with a sort of confidently bored calm that showed he cared about nothing. But now, in the dark of this carriage, he sounded as though his heart were breaking. “We love you.”
“I love you, too,” she responded, her voice sounding tired. “Forgive me. It’s been a trying… I’m simply tired from the journey.”
“Of course,” Barrett answered.
Loudoun knew that May was no child and Barrett was watching his adopted daughter slip away.
3
The next morning dawned bright and sunny. May stretched in her room, her melancholy from the evening before gone. That’s how it often was for her.
She didn’t know why she’d gotten so down last night. What did it matter if Lucius Loudoun didn’t like her? She didn’t want him either. Though a tiny voice protested that he did matter, a great deal, but she pushed it away.
A maid bustled in with a breakfast tray and May ate, wondering how she should proceed with her plan. Husbands didn’t just arrive at ones door. They had to be found.
She dressed carefully, picking a day gown that complimented her figure. The pale blue accentuated her skin and eye tones while the fit showed her tiny waist to its best advantage. As her hair was dressed, she considered her options.
She hadn’t planned on still being attracted to Loudoun. She’d thought she’d buried that childhood crush. But it didn’t change the plan. She’d find an American husband. Perhaps Loudoun could even be helpful. He had the necessary connections.
Barrett wished for her to accept an offer from the Earl of Rutland. Her nose curled. He was pompous and arrogant and though he wanted her dowry, she could tell, he was less enamored with the rest of her. Especially her lack of title.
Wurts had mentioned a son. A man with a railroad company could help her see much of the country, go on adventures, be accepted into New York society.
But if that didn’t work out, she needed to secure more invitations so that she could meet other men. Women too. By making friends, she’d meet others and help secure a future here. Excitement bubbled inside her.
“May?” Barrett knocked on the adjoining door.
“I’m almost ready,” she called, trying to sound poised and calm despite the butterflies dancing in her stomach.
Their trunks loaded they set off for Loudoun’s home. She’d barely been able to make out its outline in the dark but she already knew it was an impressive structure on Fifth Avenue. Would he be there when they arrived? Would he be happier to see her today?
The carriage pulled into the half circle drive and large front doors swung open. It was a grand home with impressive and stately detail.
She didn’t have to wait long for answers to either of her questions. As she peeked out the window, he strode out of the house looking strong and dashing.
The carriage came to a halt and Barrett climbed out, offering May his hand. As she too stepped out of the buggy, Loudoun’s face pinched again.
Her own shoulders straightened as her spine stiffened.
“Barrett,” Loudoun nodded to the other man. “May,” his voice barely a mumble.
She tried not to roll her eyes. What had stung last night was suddenly irritating. She’d done nothing other than try to help this man. Indifference she could have understood, but this active dislike?
“Loudoun,” she returned in the same voice he’d used.
He gestured for them to enter and she took Barrett’s arm as she made her way up the stairs.
They hadn’t been in the entryway more than a moment when Loudoun spoke. “I’ve work to do. You’re welcome to join me, Barrett. May, make yourself at home.” And then he was gone.
With a sigh, May followed the butler to her room to unpack.
* * *
BY LUNCHTIME she’d unpacked her things, walked in the garden, and explored the library. She’d found an excellent selection of Jane Austen novels, but she hadn’t come to America to read.
Crossing back across the foyer, she planned to return to the garden and find a spot to open a book for today. She’d have to secure some invitations in order to make friends. Outings would fill the days and nights and connections would help her build a future.
Just as she entered the foyer, the bell at the front door rang. The butler immediately entered to answer it and she decided to greet whoever was at the door. At least it involved conversation.
Almos
t immediately, she regretted her decision. Because Mr. Wurts and Mr. Lancaster walked through the doorway, their eyes immediately bouncing all over her again.
She’d expected them to be more subtle without alcohol but as Wurts stepped forward, he took her hand in a way that made her shiver with distaste. “Lovely to see you again, my dear,” he leered.
“You as well,” she nodded making to pull away. But as she stepped back, she ran into a solid form. Her head jerked to see who was behind her and her gaze collided with Loudoun’s.
A steadying hand came to her back, shivers racing up and down her spine at the touch. The hand remained in place but he came to stand beside her, a physical barrier between her and the other two men. “Nice to see you both,” he smiled but there was no warmth to it as he assessed the other men. His hand flexed against her back, drawing her even closer.
“It’s always a pleasure, Loudoun, but I have to admit, it’s especially sweet to see the darling Miss Stanly.” His eyes were roving all over her again. Loudoun’s hip came into contact with her side as he pulled her closer still. Any thought of Wurts was gone as her body tightened in the strangest places.
“Miss Stanly was just leaving,” Loudoun said, his teeth obviously clenched together.
“Such a shame,” Mr. Lancaster announced, his gaze equally busy.
“Miss Stanly,” Wurts gave her a toothy grin and she schooled her features to keep her distaste from showing. “I’m having a dinner party tomorrow night. Nothing too large but my son will be there with several of his friends.” He leaned in to whisper with a wink. “Some of New York’s finest society.”
Loudoun’s hand had come around from her back to wrap around her waist and he actually pulled her back from Wurts, tucking her slightly behind his own body.
“Thank you,” she murmured. Normally, she’d give a slight curtsy but it was impossible with Loudoun pressed so close. But still, excitement bubbled inside of her. This was a chance to put her plan in motion. Wurts junior was a perfect suitor.
Taming a Rogue Earl: Taming the Heart Series Book 6 Page 2
