by Jodi Lamm
First, she saw a word in a language she could not understand. Directly beneath that was a note, written in Marcus Lavoie’s unmistakable hand. It said, Find your TRUTH. Let no man touch it. Let no god erase it.
Maddy stared into the empty air too long. Her eyes would not focus. Her mind would not behave. All she could see was the mark she had noticed one day on her left thigh. It was oddly shaped—a kind of crooked X beside two more marks that looked like little hills. Maddy never quite believed her mother’s story that it was only a birthmark. And now she heard the echo of Jas’ response when Will had reached out to examine her forehead: You won’t find what you’re looking for there. I’m a little more discreet than that when my life is on the line.
So Will had been looking for the mark—the people’s word for ‘Truth.’
Maddy pushed back her chair and gathered up her petticoat to verify what she already knew was true. The mark was red, like a fresh scar, but it had been there as long as she could remember. And it matched, almost exactly, the word she had seen in the miniature book. She panicked. Her first instinct was to rub it away, erase the evidence of her inhumanity. But then she recalled how the clay man in the story had been destroyed.
The clay man.
Clay.
Maddy stood and turned. She opened her mouth to scream, but a hand clapped over it before she could make a sound. Will had been watching her.
“Don’t move,” he hissed into her ear. “Don’t say a word. Even though I can’t hear you, James can. And if he knows you know the truth, he’ll erase you, sure as I stand here. He’ll kill you and no one will be able to stop him.”
Maddy stifled another scream. She pressed her palms to Will’s shoulders, but did not push him away. She feared herself more than she feared him. She feared her voice and her memories, which pulled her back into a dark and roaring place.
She remembered the sea closing in around her. It pushed her and climbed her and dragged her into itself. She tried to run, but her feet wouldn’t budge. Her master had commanded her to stay. Powerful waves rushed over her. She tried to scream again, but seawater filled her mouth, her lungs. She couldn’t breathe. Her skin cracked and turned to clay. And she felt sure this was the end. She was falling apart. She was drowning.
Then someone took her hand and pulled her from the darkness. “Will!” she called out, but the face she saw was that of the Titan, her golden footman. Only he wasn’t smiling. Instead, he had the look of a terrifying and furious angel.
“Don’t touch me!” She threw him off, but he scrambled to his feet and covered her mouth again.
The past and the present collided. Maddy saw the face of the Titan transposed over Will’s. “Please…” he said. “Please, don’t scream.”
That was when the stag burst into the room.
Will leapt back.
Maddy gasped and breathed, realizing now that she had not been drowning at all.
“‘Touch her again and I’ll kill you.’ Didn’t I say that? Didn’t I warn you?” The stag’s gaze burned into Will. “Madeleine, stop his breath.”
Maddy’s hand wrapped itself around Will’s throat. She felt her fingertips sink into his skin. She was strangling him. “Wait!” she cried.
But Jas wasn’t listening. “You’ll suffer for this, my friend,” he growled. “You think you can just take whatever you want, that the whole world is a feast to sate your appetite. But there are consequences. There are always consequences.”
Maddy’s hand tightened its grip. “Jas!” she screamed as Will clawed at her arm. “He didn’t do anything wrong!”
“I have eyes,” Jas said. “I can see for myself.”
Will’s face turned from red to white.
“It was my fault!” Maddy cried, desperate.
“You’re lying.”
“It’s true!” She was shaking. “Tell me to let him go! Please! He can’t breathe!”
Jas waited a beat before he said, “Release him then.”
Maddy dropped her captive to the floor.
Will coughed and gasped as the stag looked on with cold eyes and said, “You have ten seconds to explain.”
“How can you be like this?” Maddy rounded on Jas. “He was only trying to comfort me.”
“Nonsense. I know him too well to fall for that.”
Then Maddy felt something she knew hadn’t come from her, something she had never felt before. It was a kind of nausea, a sickness of an emotion. “Is this… Is this jealousy?”
“Don’t be coy with me!” Jas shouted.
But Maddy could tell by the heat rising in her cheeks she had guessed right.
“You want to save him,” Jas said, “but you have no idea what he’s like. You wouldn’t be covering for him if you knew.”
So Jas did not understand the scene he’d stumbled upon, after all. He thought he’d found his creation and his old friend in an impassioned embrace. He suspected Will of indecent coercion—maybe something worse. Maddy looked down at herself. Her chemise was pulled off her shoulders, her busk partly unhooked in the struggle. Will was in his shirtsleeves and gasping on the floor. She couldn’t deny she would have made the same assumption. She seized upon the opportunity to act. “I’m sorry, Jas. I asked him to spend the night with me.”
“You what?” Jas snapped.
Maddy could feel his rage, only this time, she knew it was directed at her. Good. She had drawn his attention from Will. “I was afraid. I didn’t want to be alone…” She cleared her throat and spoke in her smallest voice. “So I bought him.” It was the truth. She hadn’t even needed to lie. But the effect made her feel far worse than if she had told a thousand lies.
Jas ground his teeth. “You did what? Why didn’t you just… You bought him? What were you so afraid of? Why didn’t you tell me? I am your master!”
Maddy stared ahead, unable to say more. For the first time in her life, she silently prayed to her mother’s nameless god that Jas would not notice the miniature book on the desk or her open locket, which still dangled from her neck like a tiny, dead bird on a string.
Jas watched her face intently, and then appeared to give up. “Forget it,” he muttered. “Get dressed. We’re leaving at dawn.” Then he turned around and walked away.
Will struggled to stand after Jas had gone. When he was steady on his feet, Maddy examined his throat. Little oval bruises were already starting to form where her fingers had gripped him. She mouthed the words, Forgive me.
He seemed to understand. “I should thank you, shouldn’t I?” He pressed a finger to the tip of her nose and smiled. “It may have cost you your virtuous reputation, but you probably saved my life.”
She shook her head, denying she would have killed him, but deep down, she knew that if Jas had not commanded her to release Will, she would not have been able to stop herself. “I’m so sorry.” She threw her arms around Will’s waist and buried her face in his shirt. “What was I thinking? I can’t be trusted. I’m so stupid.”
Then another thought occurred to her, which made her blood freeze. If Jas was capable of killing his oldest, most loyal friend, killing a slave would be easy.
***
At dawn, Maddy watched Will saddle and pack his mare. Even after she’d nearly throttled the man, he had an easy confidence about him. She wondered what could possibly frighten him. Whatever it was, she decided, he had already seen it happen. That was why he wasn’t afraid. The longer she watched him, the more she knew she was right.
When Jas approached them outside, Will pretended to have just remembered something important. “Oh, Madeleine, I forgot to ask whether you intended me to travel with you today.”
“Ha!” Jas said to no one in particular.
Will ignored him. “I hope so because, to be honest, I’ve always wanted to meet the esteemed Lady Charlotte Lavoie.”
Jas ended Will’s game with one word. “No.”
“My apologies,” Will said, “but I think that’s Madeleine’s decision to make. It is her mon
ey, after all.”
“It’s her money, but she belongs to me, and I don’t think she needs your services any more.”
Maddy chewed her thumbnail a little more fervently with every word Jas said. She wanted to pummel him and she didn’t care what damage it did to her. She clenched her fists and took two steps before Will put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.
“I thought you were letting me go,” she said to Jas, and did her best to separate her own anger from his.
“I am.”
“Then let go.” She instantly regretted her words when she felt the sting of them herself. The stag’s wide, black eyes looked like those of a parent who had lost control of his child. He said so much to her without opening his mouth: that he only wanted to protect her, that he knew more about the world than she, and why couldn’t she just trust him?
“So,” Will began, when he noticed his friend’s resignation, “shall I help you pack?”
Jas swayed a little before he responded. “Fine.” He was utterly defeated.
“I want to say goodbye to Father Androcles,” Maddy said. Though she cringed at the thought of leaving Jas and Will alone together, Will smiled so easily, she couldn’t believe he was in any danger at all.
Jas, on the other hand, looked sick and worried. “My uncle is in the sanctuary,” he said.
When Maddy turned away from Jas, she felt a powerful blow to his heart. His feelings kicked and screamed in her. He wanted to pull her aside. He wanted to make her understand. He wanted her alone, and that terrified her.
9: A Stifling Embrace
The double doors of the old Listening Sanctuary yawned like a raided tomb. Maddy took a deep breath and waded into the darkness. Father Androcles had swept the broken glass into several neat piles by candlelight. His broom leaned against what was left of the coffin, while the man himself gazed up at the sanctuary walls and traced the figures painted there with the tips of his fingers. Maddy wrote quietly behind him, and when she was finished, she gently tapped his shoulder. He started at her touch, but settled again when he saw her standing behind him with her opened book.
“Ah, puppet, it’s only you. And what’s that you have there?” He took her book from her and read. “That’s awfully sweet of you to say. Did the young master send you to thank me?”
She shook her head.
“You’re grateful all on your own then? Your mother taught you well. You’re a proper lady, I’d say. It’s obvious you weren’t raised by those ruffians outside.” Then he grinned, took her by the wrist, and pulled her across the sanctuary, snatching one of the candles as he did. “I still have a gift left to give you.”
Maddy stumbled after the priest and wondered whether what he meant to give her was really a gift at all. She had to remind herself that she could overpower him, if need be. Or at least she thought she could.
Father Androcles dragged her to a small storeroom at the back of his sacristy, his voice growing more nervous with every step. “Made it for myself originally, you know, but I think you’ll get the chance to use it before I do. I’ve been hoping for a private moment to give it to you.”
They were in a tight space. Father Androcles’ candle revealed a thick layer of dust that covered everything like morning frost. It muted the colors so that the little world in the storeroom perfectly matched the priest’s own complexion. “Hold this a moment, will you?” He handed her his candle and rummaged for something, kicking up the dust and coughing as he did. When he found what he was looking for, he traded it back for the candle.
Maddy held the bundle in her hands. It was a long, crescent-shaped object wrapped in dusty, brown burlap. She stared at it, unsure whether she wanted to know what lay inside.
Father Androcles saw her hesitation and urged her on. “Unwrap it. Tell me if you like it.”
It might have been her birthday for all the expectation Maddy saw in his eyes. She half wanted to blow out his candle and make a wish, but dutifully unwrapped the gift instead. When she saw what she was meant to receive, she tried to give it back. Father Androcles refused to take it.
It was a weapon, a bow and quiver, yet she’d never seen a thing so exquisite in all her life. She turned the bow over in her hands and studied the intricate detail along its belly: carved dragons, deep-sea creatures, and birds of paradise. The priest’s art lived in his weapons and nowhere else. She realized all his hope, too, had been carefully packed into that bow.
“You like it?”
She didn’t have the heart to do anything but nod.
Father Androcles smiled. “Here are the arrows. You wear the quiver on your back, like this.” He didn’t even try to hide his excitement as he pulled the strap over her shoulder. “I’ve included the hunter’s arrow with the others. I didn’t have time to enchant it, but it’ll do in an emergency.”
Maddy cocked her head and mouthed the words, Enchant it?
“Of course.” He took both her hands in his, forcing her to clutch the bow more tightly. “I only hope your gratitude extends this far. You can use the bow any way you like, and these are good arrows, with only one small enchantment.” He seemed to hope that explanation would suffice, but Maddy looked unsure, and began removing the quiver. “They’re set upon my brother’s heart,” he blurted out to stop her.
Maddy froze.
“When you’re in sight of him, they’ll always fly to his heart. Our country, our culture is destroyed because of that man. And he has taken my god from me. He’s my brother, but his wickedness goes beyond blood ties. Puppet, I am begging you to do what is in your nature to do. Protect those of us who remember. Please.”
Maddy pulled away from the priest and stared at him. He was asking her to kill a man. She wanted to tell him no, but she knew he would refuse to hear it. So she nodded a little, accepted his grateful embrace, and followed him out of the storeroom, the weight of his gift hanging heavily against her back.
Father Androcles did not join Maddy outside the sanctuary. Instead, he took up his broom and continued to clean. Had his own child been injured, he would not have treated it with more care than he treated this place. Maddy knew she was just the same, even though she didn’t want to see it. The Titan’s body was her sanctuary, and she knew that anyone who tried to harm it would bring her hand to violence. If Father Androcles was an evil man, he was no more evil than she. So she kept the bow and the arrows, too. And later, when Jas asked her what they were, she merely said they were a gift from the priest.
***
“I’ve never packed a body before.” Will grinned and mounted his horse behind Maddy. “For all my crimes, this was a first. I’m afraid I failed the test.” He had wrapped the Titan’s body in a bed sheet, half-stuffed it into his garment bag, and then strapped it to the stag. The whole mess looked painfully conspicuous. They would have to keep to the forest to avoid suspicion. “Have you eaten, James?”
Jas, sagging under the weight of his old body, grunted affirmatively.
Will turned to Maddy. “So you aren’t hungry either, I suppose?”
She shook her head.
“We’re set then. I never breakfast at this hour, so we’ll ride until lunch.” He tapped his heels into his mare.
Jas bounded ahead, his awkward cargo flapping in the wind.
Will wrapped his arms around Maddy and held the reins. She closed her eyes and leaned back into him. “I’m still here,” she heard him say. She could have kissed him for that precious reminder. And even as the wind bit her cheeks and the green land rushed beneath her, Maddy began to feel a rising joy. She was heading home, but she wouldn’t face her family alone.
“William!” Jas called back. His voice sounded startlingly close to Maddy. “Do you have her?”
“Sorry?”
“Do you have her? Is she secure?”
“Why?”
“Just answer the question!”
“Of course I have her!”
“Good! Madeleine, go to sleep.”
Maddy didn’t have time to
protest before she slipped into Jas’ barley field with its hot, swirling wind. She blinked. The young Titan stood before her, his waistcoat buttoned neat as it always was, his eyes glittering in the light of an enormous, sallow moon. She took one look at her master and turned to run. He caught her by the wrist and yanked her back.
“Stop this!” he shouted at her. “What’s the matter with you?”
“What are you going to do?” She pulled against him, but he controlled the dream and she hadn’t the strength to resist him.
“That depends on what’s wrong with you.”
She pulled harder and started to scream.
The Titan gathered her into a tight embrace, trapping her arms and muffling her voice. “Will you stop?” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you, for god’s sake. I just want to talk to you.”
After several more seconds, Maddy felt the futility of her struggle and slackened in his arms.
“That’s better,” he said and loosened his grip. “Now please tell me, because I can’t stand this any more, why are you afraid of me?”
She met his eyes. “When do you plan to kill me?”
“What?” The look of shock and bitterness seemed out of place on his angelic face, which made it all the more terrible to see. “I don’t intend to kill you.”
“But you’re supposed to.”
“Yes.” He lowered his voice until it was almost a whisper, and Maddy felt the shame in him. Then he said something that made her wish she could bury herself in the ground. “I should never have given you life.”
“And you’ve already condemned me to die.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You said it yourself.” She stared at the rolling waves of barley. “I listened outside the priest’s window, last night.”
“I see,” Jas said. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He dropped his arms to his sides, but Maddy didn’t run. “I didn’t mean to condemn you. I didn’t know what I was doing. It was…” He was crying; she couldn’t believe it. “It was an accident, a terrible mistake.”
