by Alexis Anne
“You just dumped me, Greg. I’d like to leave now.”
“I didn’t dump you. I’m asking for some space to work through some stuff.”
I glared at him. “No. I don’t give you space. We’re either together or we’re not. I can’t do this in-between shit. You either love me or you don’t. We either do this together, or we go our separate ways. I will not wait in the sidelines only to have you dump me in a few weeks.” The tears were just barely staying put. “I let you in. I let you help me. We did that together.”
He winced, his hands falling to his sides. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“We’re not the same,” he shot back. “Trust me, we’re not the same. You’ll thank me for this.” Then he wrenched open his door. “Goodbye Marie.”
The earth could have opened up and swallowed me whole at that moment and I wouldn’t have noticed. The only thing I could see was the look in Greg’s eyes. The man looking at me was different. I didn’t know this man. He was so completely broken it was hard to imagine him ever being whole again.
I couldn’t help someone who didn’t want my help. As long as he was pushing me away I was only going to bring us all down.
It was the hardest thing I’d ever done and I think a little piece of me died that day. But I gathered up every ounce of strength I possessed and looked him in the eyes. “It was a pleasure knowing you, Greg. Good luck.” I didn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t. I didn’t believe that it was the end, but I also had zero hope we would ever find a way back to each other.
Not after this.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
“Bourbon. Cigar. Baseball game.” Jake sat down beside me on my couch. We were watching the game at my place while Eve was out with friends for the night. I knew “friends” was code for “Marie”. He hadn’t said it in so many words but the guy was acting fifteen different kinds of weird, so I put two and two together.
I held up the glass and checked out the liquid. It was dark and heavy, just the way I liked it. “At least watching the game here means I can drink myself to sleep and not have to worry how I’m getting home.”
Jake shook his head and lit up his cigar. “About that. You’ve been hitting the bottle pretty hard lately.”
I gave him a look that told him to fuck off and thankfully he left it at that. At least I thought he had. An hour later—and half a bottle of bourbon between the two of us, I might add—he got all chatty again.
“What the fuck is going on with you?” He flicked the ash off the end of his cigar before pointing it at me. “And don’t make me get all wordy.”
“Then don’t,” I replied. “Look, you tell me shit and we work things out. But there’s no need to get all damn emotional right now.”
“You broke up with Marie.”
“So fucking what?”
He was quiet for a moment and when he spoke again his voice was much lower and very even. “I think you need to talk to me about what’s going on.”
“Did you get me drunk so I’d talk?” Fucking bastard.
“Yes,” he said flatly. “Eve talked to Marie, and based on what she said, I think there’s something going on. I think you broke up with Marie because of Jenn, and if that’s the reason, then it’s a shitty reason.”
More anger than I knew what to do with ignited inside me. Just thinking about what Brandon the Asshole had said to me, the moronic reasons I’d broken up with Marie, and the even stupider funk I’d let myself fall into, all because of that one conversation, made me hate myself. I was in a shit-spiral and every decision seemed to be worse than the last.
“Fuck you,” I yelled. “It’s not a shitty reason.”
“About time you got angry,” he shot back, then took another sip of his drink like this was just another conversation.
I kicked the coffee table away and stood up. I wanted to punch something, but there as nothing to punch but Jake. “I hated the way things ended, okay?”
I knew from the beginning that I was taking a chance with Marie, and that I’d have to walk away before I hurt them…but the longer I stayed, the happier I got, until I forgot that I needed to leave.
“Then why did it end?”
I spun around and glared at him sitting there on the couch. “You know why and you know it’s none of your damn business.”
I stared at him for as long as I could before Jake broke the silence. When he spoke, his voice was low and even like he was dealing with a crazy person—which is exactly what I guess I was.
“Eve wasn’t any of your business and yet you sure poked your ugly nose in there, didn’t you?” he said.
I winced. It was just a matter of time before he pulled out that card and played it. “It’s not the same.”
“Yes, it is. It’s exactly the same. I didn’t want to deal with my life and I didn’t think I could ask for the future I wanted. You made me do both. I have this life because someone was arrogant enough that he felt like he could interfere and push me to do things I was too chicken-shit to do.”
“The situations aren’t the same.”
“Like hell they’re not. You broke up with the perfect woman because you can’t handle your past. They are exactly the same and you need to fix this.”
“How?” I’d been sitting here for weeks trying to figure that out. Brandon was (as much as I hated to admit it) right about one thing. I was a coward who couldn’t let go of the past. And that meant Marie was better off without me.
“You need to go home, Greg. Back to Hargrove. It’s been too long and until you face all the things you left behind, they’re gonna haunt you, man.”
“Maybe I like being haunted.”
“I know you do,” he said quickly. “You like that slow burn. That pain lets you know you’re being punished. You’re taking your licks…you’re taking them because you haven’t gotten it through your thick skull that you’ve been punished enough. You haven’t figured out that no amount of punishment will change what happened.”
“You don’t get to tell me how much is enough,” I said so quietly I barely heard it.
Jenn was the judge. Her family was the judge.
Not Jake and certainly not me.
“Then you need to go back.”
I closed my eyes.
“You need to talk to them,” he said. “It’s time.”
I didn’t reply for a long time. I just let all of it sink in nice and slow. I went back over each word, one at a time. No amount of punishment will change what happened. You’ve been punished enough. You like the slow burn.
He was absolutely right about the burn. I’d lived off of it for so long that I didn’t know what to do without it. It was as much a part of me as anything else.
“I can go with you if you want,” Jake offered.
I opened my eyes and stared out the giant glass windows behind my television.
Home.
It wasn’t my home anymore. It hadn’t been since that night.
Home was here, now. Everything that made me, me, was here in Tampa. No one in Hargrove would recognize the person I’d become.
Jake and Eve knew the real me. Hell, they even claimed to like me.
I rubbed my chest. The damn, stupid ache never left, but it did get worse when I started thinking about Marie and Natalie. They knew me, too. They liked everything they shouldn’t. No sane person should want to be near me, and yet those two…
They were my home. They were my family.
Brandon was wrong when he said I was trying to replace what I lost. I could never, ever replace Jenn or what I’d hoped to have with her one day. Marie and Natalie weren’t stand-ins, they were something else entirely. They were something different and new.
We were a misfit family that had somehow found each other.
And I’d blown it.
“No. I need to do this on my own.” Jake was right. It was time to go back to Hargrove.
Chapter Thirty
I was going to
go bald at the rate I was pulling my hair out over Edward and his stupidity. Our one hour video conference had somehow bloomed into two, going on three. I’d excused several of my staff, but three of us were still prisoners at the conference table while Edward used us for attention.
I mean, that had to be what he was doing. There was no other reasonable explanation for him to continue droning on about how much he knew.
Which, according to Edward, was everything.
“Is there any way we can pause this conversation until next week’s meeting?” I asked when he took a breath between sentences.
Edward stared at me so long I started to wonder if we’d dropped the call.
I should have unplugged the router an hour ago…why didn’t I think of that earlier?
“Of course,” he finally said. “Sean and Marissa can go back to work, but I need a few moments with you, Marie.”
Of course he did.
I waited until Marissa closed the door with a look of sympathy before I turned back to my father. “How can I help you?”
He’d been making my life hell ever since his visit. From double checking every single decision I made, to auditing my paperwork, he was everywhere. There were also the phone calls, the new weekly video conference calls, and the simple fact that nothing I did was ever enough. According to Edward, I could work longer, harder, and bring in more money—I needed to seize the entire market available to female executives. I needed my own promo team.
He’d lost his damn mind and I was starting to look for my next move. Family company or not, I wasn’t going to keep living like this.
“Our LA offices aren’t performing as I’d like.”
I raised an eyebrow. Edward usually kept our offices separate. LA took care of LA, he took care of New York, and I was in charge of Tampa. We were the same company, but our offices were autonomous. Well, until Edward started in on the reign of terror. I just assumed it was me he was after, not all of us.
This was very interesting.
“In what way?” I finally asked.
“Hugh’s getting sloppy. The offices are being run with as much care as a government facility. Expenses are growing and accountability is plummeting. We need a full overhaul from the top, down.”
“You’re firing Hugh?” He was practically the son my father never had.
“Possibly. I’ve given him three months to turn things around. He’ll be consulting with you. Expect your workload to be heavy for the next few months. I’m counting on you to get this done right.”
Probably so he could hold it over me for the next ten years. If I didn’t help Hugh get it right, then it would be my fault. If everything came up to snuff, it would because Hugh was fantastic—not because of my help. There was no way this was going to work out in my favor. I’d work my ass off and then get it handed back to me on a silver platter.
“Of course. Consider it done.” I was going to suck up to my father until I handed him my letter of resignation.
Edward nodded. “Excellent. I’ll expect weekly status reports. In my inbox every Thursday morning.”
I plastered a fake smile to my face. “Have a good evening, Edward.”
The moment the video disconnected I stormed out of the conference room. I needed a new job yesterday. Why had it taken me so long to realize this?
But then I looked around Bancroft Sports and realized how much pride I took in my work. These offices were mine—started and built up by me. These people worked for me—not Edward.
And I loved every minute of my job outside of the moments ruined by my father.
It was five o’clock and the offices were emptying out quickly. It was much quieter in the evenings and it gave me too much time to think about how little I belonged anywhere near Edward. How were we related? Could I get a genetic test done? I knew I had his weird blue eye color and my mother’s cheekbones, so obviously I was their kid, but that was where the resemblances ended.
I might as well be an orphan for as loved and comforted as I felt by my parents. At least I had Natalie. But she was in France with Brandon for the summer and despite our daily phone calls, I felt her absence like a hole in my heart.
Empty offices. Empty family. Empty heart.
Yeah, I was having a pity party. But I was drained and felt like life was beating me over the head with the same continuous message. I was never going to be happy if I didn’t change things.
Joan looked up as I entered the office. “That went long.”
“Can I schedule a meeting with you tomorrow morning? First thing?”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Of course. Would you like me to come in early so we don’t run into your first appointment?”
“It’ll be quick. It’s about a change in plans for the next three months. If you can be here fifteen minutes early we can get it out of the way and not cause any issues.”
“No problem. Oh, Grace is waiting for you inside.”
I glanced at my watch and grimaced. I was supposed to meet her thirty minutes ago. “Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning. Have a nice night.”
Grace was sprawled out across my couch with her phone in front of her face playing a game. “About time you showed up. I’m hungry.”
“Sorry, meeting went long.”
“Oh, I heard who you were meeting with. I’m surprised your ears aren’t bleeding.”
I dropped my files on the desk and leaned against it for support. “Where to? I need good food to drown my sorrows.”
“That’s good. You’ve barely eaten in weeks.”
My appetite had taken a hike along with Greg. I was eating, but just enough to get by. It wasn’t like other times when I wanted to eat my feelings. This was different. It was like my desire for anything fun or good had evaporated.
“Well, I want to eat now. Preferably something greasy.” I didn’t know what having a sudden appetite meant, but I was going to feed it.
“Mexican or pizza?”
“Margaritas,” we said simultaneously.
“Well that settles that.” Grace hopped off the couch. “Get your stuff and let’s go.”
Thirty minutes later we settled into a booth. Music blared through speakers and cold margaritas were delivered before we ordered food. Grace had this funny smile on her face the whole time and curiosity got the best of me.
“What’s up with you?”
She batted her eyelashes dramatically. “Me?”
“You look like you have a good secret.”
Sure enough, a huge smile broke across her lips and she blushed a little. “Life is good right now.” She looked down and studied her drink.
Was she afraid to talk about good news in front of me? “Just because things aren’t fantastic in my life doesn’t mean you should keep the good things to yourself. I want to hear what’s going on.”
“Are you sure? I know after Derek left me I wanted to stab people who had good news.”
And that sounded exactly like my best friend. I slid my knife across the table. “Here.”
She laughed, just like I wanted. “Seriously, I’m your best friend. I want to know when good things happen, no matter what is going on in my life.”
“All right.” She bit her lip. “The shop is turning the biggest profit ever. There is a local coffee boom going on and I want to open a second shop.”
“That’s fantastic!” Owning a small business was a volatile roller coaster and Grace had been through the highs and the lows. She must really be doing well if she was considering another location. “Do you have a spot picked out yet?”
She shook her head. “No. I’m looking at spaces by USF and The University of Tampa. I want to take advantage of the college crowd.”
“I’m so happy for you, Grace.”
“There’s more.”
Her smile was infectious and I couldn’t help but smile, too. “Keep going.”
“I have an investor who’s going to create a whole product line for us and a new online store.”
“Expans
ion is good.” Seriously, I was incredibly happy for her success.
“There’s more.”
Why did I get the feeling she was leading up to something? “Okay?”
“I’m having the best sex of my life.”
Oh.
That was…not what I expected to follow a conversation about business.
“That’s great, Grace. Is this the same mystery man you’ve been seeing?”
She nodded and turned her margarita in circles. “He’s seriously amazing. Smokin’ hot body and eyes that make you come from across a room.”
“Wow…that’s powerful.”
“And he knows exactly how to use that power. It’s addictive.” Grace’s eyes took on a dreamy look and she sighed.
“Are you ever going to tell me who he is?” I still didn’t understand the secrecy. Was she afraid I was going to try and steal him or something?”
“Nope. I like him exactly where he is. He’s not part of my personal life in any way. He doesn’t interfere with my work, I don’t talk about him or my feelings unless I want to, and I get the added benefit of secret sex. So no, I’m not telling you or anyone else.”
“So wait, you’re just using him for sex? Nothing else?” I found that kind of hard to believe. Grace didn’t like to get attached to anybody, but she’d had a boy toy or two over the years and she always gave me all the juicy details.
She was truly using those guys for sex.
And she never had the look in her eyes she had now.
This was more than sex.
“Pretty much,” she shrugged. “I mean we did end up going to a movie last week. And we’ve had one dinner out together. But that’s it. We meet at his place or mine, and do the deed.”
“No talking? Nothing else?”
She chewed on her lip. “Of course we talk a little. But it’s just basic human interaction. It’s not like he’s visiting me at work or getting to know me on some deep level.”
Grace was in denial. I could see it in every word and expression on her face. This dude had her twisted in knots. “You don’t talk on the phone or trade emails?”
“We just text,” she said, looking away.
