F*cking Awkward

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F*cking Awkward Page 8

by Anthology


  The only time a man should ever be between your legs are as follows: 1) Your gynecological exam. And let’s be real for a moment, those are never pleasant, and can be just as awkward. 2) Eating you the fuck out. No man should ever be down there, spreading your lips apart if his face isn’t stuck to you like glue. He should most definitely not be trying to fucking push a barbell back through your clit because it got caught on his damn permanent retainer.

  “Ouch!” I scream as I feel a razor-sharp pain move through my delicate skin. Yeah, I just called my labia delicate.

  “Shit, Brit, I’m sorry. I-I think I got it through, but you’re bleeding again.” Scott moves swiftly to the bathroom and is back before I can say “Mother fucker that hurt.”

  He begins to use the toilet paper to clean me up and my head falls back. Could this getting any worse? My “boyfriend” of no less than three weeks is cleaning up my bleeding vagina. Awesome. I’ll just crawl into the corner now. God, please, take me.

  “I don’t think you’re bleeding any more. Are you okay?” he asks with nervousness.

  I don’t look at him. Nope, I’m just pretending this all didn’t happen. As if it’s one big dream turned into a nightmare. Scott saw more of me in the last ten minutes than I’ve seen of myself in my twenty-fucking-three years.

  The bed dips. I feel his presence next to me.

  “Brit?”

  With my eyes still closed, I answer. “I’m just pretending you weren’t just between my legs cleaning up my vagina.”

  “It’s okay.” He sounds so sincere. He’s too sweet. “You’re not bleeding anymore. Do you need ice?”

  I want to nod. I want ice more than anything right now, but I don’t think my naked body can handle any more embarrassment at the moment.

  I open my eyes and turn my head to see him watching me intently.

  “Scott, the only time I want to see you using a tissue between my legs is after I’ve just come all over your face. Not because you ripped a piercing through my skin.”

  His eyes widen. Then he laughs. The little shit actually laughs at me!

  “Brit, it’s not that bad. I mean… sure, tonight didn’t go as we planned-”

  I stop him there, holding a hand up. “You just had your invisible doctor cap on examining my vagina!” As soon as the words slip from my mouth I begin to giggle. I don’t know why, but I do and it feels good.

  “See, babe, it’s funny.”

  “For you!

  “I just wanted to surprise you.”

  “Yeah, I’m surprised all right.”

  He chuckles.

  “I read an article on how to please a woman with clit piercing.”

  My eyes narrow in on him. Did he just say he read an article on how to please a woman?

  “Excuse me?”

  “Cosmo. I saw an article about giving pleasure and it talked about playing with a piercing.”

  If my head could fall backwards it would. I laugh. Not just a light laugh, but a full on my abs are getting a work out kind of laugh.

  “Scott! Cosmo? That shit is an Emergency Room visit waiting to happen!”

  “Well, considering I almost put you there tonight I’d say you’re correct.”

  We both laugh harder.

  After we catch our breaths, I stare at the ceiling.

  “Can we pretend tonight didn’t happen?” I ask hopefully.

  “Not a chance in hell baby.” And with that, he pulls me into his side.

  “Scott?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Before you get too comfortable I’ll take the ice.”

  I feel the smile on his face spread. “Ice coming right up.”

  Tonight sure didn’t go as planned, but it definitely ended up just like I wanted. A night neither of us will ever be able to forget.

  The End

  * * *

  Amanda Maxlyn is an International bestselling author who lives in a tiny town outside the Twin Cities in Minnesota with her husband and two awesome little boys. When she is not writing or chasing after her boys, she can be found snuggled up with her Kindle, a glass of wine, and spending time with her fictional friends and family.

  Amandamaxlyn.com

  It Started With a Drink

  B.A. Wolfe

  I slammed the empty shot glass down on the bar top and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. The liquor went down smoother with each swallow. I slid the glass next to the other empties. My face scrunched at the sight. Those couldn’t be all mine. Could they? I hiccupped and shrugged. Who cared? I was having fun.

  I raised my tingling arm in the air, flagging down the bartender, ready for the next drink when my friend Cassie shot me a glaring look. “Maybe you should just have some water, Mel.”

  “I’m fineeeee.” I wrapped a lazy arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Normally, I was the worrisome, protective friend. But this little hole in the wall bar seemed harmless enough. Not to mention, she dragged me here. I was only making the best of the night.

  “If you’re sure,” she said, sipping on her water. She had her eyes set on a guy. In fact, he wasn’t just any guy, but one I thought was her soul mate. She just wasn’t ready to accept the facts yet. That would be a story for another day.

  “Go talk to him,” I urged, watching her stare longingly down the bar at him.

  She flipped her hair off her shoulder and turned toward me, completely blushing.

  Two things I knew for sure. One, the tequila was making me both antsy and horny. Two, my friend needed her wing-woman to step up. It was time to take one for the team.

  I glared toward the other end of the bar. Cassie’s guy was sitting next to TJ. My stomach clenched at the sight of him. TJ was Cassie’s friend, not mine. In fact, he was trying to steal her away from me as his best friend, but hell if I’d let that happen. Problem was, he was fucking gorgeous. I might have even gone as far as to say he was the most attractive man I’d ever seen. The problem was that he wasn’t even remotely my type. All country with his showy belt buckle, cowboy boots, and those annoying manners I surely wasn’t used to witnessing with other guys.

  I slammed shot number . . . hell, I had lost count three shots ago. With a delicious burn coating my throat, I shoved two fingers in my mouth, pursed my lips, and let out a whistle loud enough to catch TJ’s attention.

  Cassie eyed me like I had officially had too much to drink and for once she might’ve been right. I shrugged and smiled as TJ strolled over, all cocky and wearing a smirk. My plan worked.

  What happened next, I completely blame on the tequila . . .

  “Goddamn, I want you so bad, Melanie.” His voice purred in my ear as his fingertips dug into my hips, holding me in place against the wall. His touch was just enough to let me know he wasn’t letting go. And for the love of everything, I didn’t want him to. Sure, this wasn’t the ideal place to kiss a guy that I didn’t really like, but the liquor drowning in my veins didn’t care.

  His lips descended down the curve of my neck, landing on the sensitive flesh of my shoulder. Nope, I definitely didn’t care that we were tucked next to the bathroom doors in this small dingy place. Instead, my lips curled in sweet delight the second he bit down on that exposed skin. I moaned at the feeling. The way he crowded my body had me about to wrap my legs around his waist and take him right here in the open hallway.

  Dammit.

  Okay, so I was enjoying this too much. I shouldn’t have had that last tequila shot . . . or maybe the last three shots. They were clouding my judgment.

  I, Melanie Rhodes, wasn’t supposed to be turned on by TJ Preston or “Moose” as he liked to be called, but I refused. In fact, normally I refused to talk to him period.

  I wanted to smack myself. This wasn’t me! Damn tequlia. It made me drag him from the dance floor and down the hall. It was all the tequila’s fault. I should’ve been back at the bar, scouting out a guy who wasn’t TJ, who wasn’t the most frustrating man on the planet. But instead, TJ’s plump lips continued their
assault and truth be told, I wasn’t about to walk away. Because tonight, I was letting other parts of my body do the thinking. I was taking one for the team, so Cassie could go get her man.

  Ding. Ding. Ding.

  Ugh! My phone went off in my back pocket, disrupting TJ’s sinful mouth. I gulped away the distraction and then tilted my head, giving him more access.

  But the annoying sound continued.

  Ding. Ding. Ding.

  TJ released the sleeve of my shirt, sending it bouncing back over my shoulder, covering where his mouth was just seconds ago.

  “You gonna get that or just let it keep going off? ‘Cause it’s a little distractin’.” His low voice sounded as agitated as I felt. And not because my phone was going off, but because he stopped kissing me.

  “It’s probably just Cassie. Don’t worry about it.”

  He dipped his head lower. “Maybe you should tell your friend that you’re busy and she should stop textin’. ‘Cause she’s kinda ruinin’ the mood.”

  I wasn’t about to see what she wanted. She was supposed to be hanging with her guy. I did this for her. It just so happened to be benefiting me.

  TJ leaned back a few inches, a mischievous grin splitting his face. “Or would you rather I tell her that you’re a little preoccupied?”

  I smacked his hard shoulder. “Are you crazy?”

  “Just busy.” He shrugged. “And I’d like to get back to what I was doin’. You?” His brows rose in unison and I groaned as his blue eyes stared back at me. I hated admitting he was one of the most attractive men I’d ever laid eyes on. But it was safe to say he had something that clearly, I wanted. At least for tonight anyway.

  I grinned at my wicked thoughts and without breaking eye contact grabbed my phone from the back pocket of my mini skirt. I positioned it between our close bodies and held the button, shutting down the phone. I widened my grin and with a snarky voice said, “Happy?”

  “No.” He frowned. “Now she’s gonna come searchin’ for you.”

  Double fuck. He was right.

  I glanced around us. The wall next to the men’s bathroom wasn’t exactly what you’d call “hiding”. I peeked over his shoulder, ready to duck if Cassie came waltzing around the corner. “So, what do you suggest?”

  Our gazes met and the gleam in his eyes sent a sweet chill down my spine. He snatched my hand in his and bolted down the hallway toward a dark area. I followed behind him like he was the captain and I was his first mate. There was no going back. And I swore Cassie would have my woman balls, knowing I was headed somewhere hidden to go make hanky with the one man who drove me crazier than anyone I’d ever met before.

  Like I said, TJ, aka “Moose” was her friend, not mine. Of course, I was forced to hang out with him for that reason. But tonight, liquor tucked my conscience to the wayside and burned all my reason for the next few hours. I was free to let my body fall against his, my hand melt into his, and of course, my panties were ready to be ripped right off my anxious body by his teeth.

  There was nothing pretty about what was going to happen and tomorrow I’d shame myself for it, but now, right this very second, I was standing in a pitch black room that TJ just locked us inside of.

  Wait. What? I’m in a room?

  Confused, I peered into the darkness, but there was nothing to see. I pulled my hand from his and reached for his hips, digging my hand into his pocket.

  He wiggled his waist at my touch. “Whoa. Easy does it, woman. We’ll get there.”

  “Stop! I just need some light.” I huffed and yanked his phone from his tight pocket. I held the phone out, shining the light around the room. “Where in the hell are we?" There was a broom, a bucket, a furry thing that was either someone’s dog or a mop, a larger broom, towels, cleaning products, and a vacuum.

  TJ took his phone from me and did his own personal inspection of the room. “Fuck,” he sighed.

  I shook my head as my clouded mind started to grasp the realization that we were in a cleaning closet. “Great, TJ. A broom closet big enough for an ant." There wasn’t enough liquor in me to be that limber.

  He huffed with agitation. "It's this or risk getting caught by Cass. Your pick, woman."

  Ugh. I hated that he called me woman but I really hated that this felt as if it was the hardest choice I had to make in my life. I anchored my teeth into my bottom lip and met those hypnotic blue eyes that were locked on me.

  “How about a little mood music?” he asked. With a smirk that showcased his edible dimple, TJ tapped an icon on his phone and turned up the volume.

  I cringed instantly at the sound of upbeat country music followed by a man talking about his sexy tractor. “That’s supposed to set the mood?” I laughed as I watched TJ’s eyes go wide before he quickly turned off the song. “How about we skip the music and just get to it?” I suggested.

  His dimple deepened. “Now where’s the fun in that?”

  Determined to set the tone for the night, TJ’s attention went back to his phone and within seconds, a low, sexy melody filled the air. Tractors were a thing of the past. The song TJ picked was “Come a Little Closer” by Dierks Bentley, one I’d heard before. The words were seductive, sensuous, and I had to admit, perfect for the mood.

  TJ reached above him, perching the phone on a shelf, letting the dim light shine down on us. Everything was set.

  Goddamn it. The ache between my legs was getting to be too much. I needed sex. Hot, sweaty, passionate, can't get enough, sex . . . Now!

  “No one can know about this,” I stated, reminding him of the fact that there would be no mention of this nor would there be a replay.

  He cocked his head. “I don’t like that rule.”

  “That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.”

  He raked a hand through his hair and groaned. “You’re impossible. Fine.”

  Impossibly ready to get laid, that’s what I was.

  I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, banging my arm and elbow on the edge of a wooden shelf in the process. "Ouch! Holy shit, that hurt," I whimpered, yanking my top off the rest of the way. I exhaled and looked up at him. "This isn't going to work,” I mumbled, the tequila no longer traveling through my veins, numbing the pain.

  "Yes it is," his voice dropped to a low, seductive timber and then a warm hand found my elbow, a pair of lips following with a gentle kiss to the sore skin.

  A soft sigh left me. Okay, this could totally work.

  “Still wanna leave?” he asked, his hands locking behind my back, tugging me against his chest.

  He was such a smug, cocky cowboy. “I’ll stay for now.”

  “Mmm . . . I bet you will.”

  I bit down on my lip again, my body flashing in anxious heat. Unable to take it any longer, I reached between us and unhooked the button of my mini skirt.

  He groaned and I smiled to myself. He wasn’t the only one that could play games. “I could work around that, you know. You don’t have to try and take it off,” he whispered as if each word was a struggle.

  My legs tingled as I unzipped the skirt. “Now where’s the fun in that?” I threw his words back at him and watched him pinch his eyes shut, his jaw straining.

  I wiggled my hips, letting the skirt shimmy down my thighs, slide past my knees, and fall to my ankles. TJ’s palms moved across the bare skin of my ass cheeks and I moaned at the primitive touch.

  “Goddamn it, woman. I need to fuck you now.”

  Every pulse in me was beating out of control. My legs were languid, my skin on fire, my sex was about to explode if TJ didn’t get inside of me soon. I inched my legs apart, giving him access when I was stopped short due to my skirt pooling at my feet.

  It had to go. I needed that damn thing far away.

  TJ’s fingers trailed lower, sending goose bumps cascading down my backside at the sensual touch.

  I lifted my left leg, easing my foot out of the skirt only to get the edge of my heel caught on the seam. Trying to nonchalantly unhook it w
hile TJ was nibbling on my ear lobe, I gracefully kicked my heel off. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as graceful as it was intended to be.

  Clank. Crash. Thunk.

  TJ’s hand flew straight to the back of his head. “Ouch! What the fuck!”

  I palmed my mouth to smother a giggle desperately trying to escape.

  “Really?” he asked, holding the broom that knocked him in the back of the head because of my not so ‘graceful’ move.

  “Oopsy.” I shrugged.

  His shoulders fell with a heavy sigh as he put the broom behind him in a more secure spot. “I’m gonna stand over here while you take your other shoe off.” He folded his arms over his chest.

  I let out a laugh while I carefully slipped off my other shoe. The last piece separating me from TJ was my skirt that was pooling at my right foot. I decided to give TJ a little something extra while he waited patiently for me to finish. I leaned backward as much as I could and kicked my foot up. Instead of the skirt flying upward into TJ, my foot made contact with his groin.

  TJ cupped his junk and groaned.

  “Oh, shit!” I stumbled over my foot but caught myself as I came to TJ’s aid. I held my hands over his, not realizing the intimate moment until his wide eyes lifted and met my panicked ones.

  I glanced down at my hands that were cupping his manhood. Was the room shrinking or was it just me?

  “I got it from here.” TJ’s raspy low voice interrupted my thoughts.

  This wasn’t the end. Playing off my foul, I curled my lips to the side. “Now where’s the fun in that? Hmmmm?” I pried his fingers away, earning a raised brow in return.

  I undid his fancy buckle, leaving his belt hanging on the sides as I popped open the brass button to his jeans. “Still got it from here?” I asked, peering up at him with question in my eyes.

  He straightened his spine and squared his shoulders, sending my chest into another fit of rapid beats. “You’re runnin’ the show. By all means, continue.” His dimple made another appearance and I swallowed hard. Another wave of excitement rolled through me. Ready for more of this man, I hurried to lower his zipper but his warm hand on top of mine stopped me. I batted my lashes as I glanced up at him.

 

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