I’m done for.
Before I had time to think things through, my mouth acted of its own accord once again. “Okay.”
Shit. What am I doing?
His grin widened. “Great. Come on then. I don’t know about you, but I’m bloody cold now.”
We picked up our pace as we made it along the road. He came to a halt in front of an old Victorian building on a street I wasn’t too familiar with. He jogged up the stairs and opened the door, but I stood, frozen to the spot.
Concern washed over his features as he gazed down at me where I hesitated. “Look, I won’t try anything, okay? I just want a coffee and your shop’s closed.”
I threw caution to the wind, ignored my inner alarm bells, and jogged up the stairs to where he stood. “If you murder me, I’ll haunt you,” I told him, only half joking.
Once inside the building, we climbed one flight of stairs and arrived outside one of two doors on the floor. He unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped inside, holding the door so I could follow him in. It was a nice place. Scrap that, it was stunning. High ceilings and tastefully decorated, if rather masculine, in grey, pale blue, and white, with a huge comfy-looking black leather couch in the centre of the room. The walls were devoid of artwork and I wondered if he’d actually finished moving in.
He threw the door keys on the dining table at one end of the living space and walked around, turning on some lamps. It was a smaller place than I imagined him living in, to be honest, and he must have read my mind.
Once he’d finished with the lights, he rested his hands on his hips. “It’s not as fancy as the place I used to live in but…well, I had to leave there pretty quickly.”
Fuck, what did he do? I widened my eyes and swallowed hard. “H-how come? Did you run out of places to hide your victims?” Again, I was only half joking. Terrified I’d walked into some kind of trap, drawn in by his gorgeous exterior—it did happen after all—I began to back toward the door.
He laughed unabashedly. “God, you look terrified. You actually do think I’m going to hurt you, don’t you?”
I shook my head emphatically. “D-don’t be silly. I just…I don’t usually go home to apartments with men I’ve only just met.”
He smiled warmly and walked toward me. He came to a standstill around three feet away and held his hands out as if to show me he was unarmed. “Look, there is a story to what happened. If you want to stay, I’ll tell you all the sordid details. If it’ll stop you looking like you’re about to bolt, that is.” His accent and his husky deep voice had my heart pounding. “And I promise to keep my hands to myself.”
I almost whined, “Awww,” like a sulky teen, but managed to restrain myself. The thought of his hands on me appealed to me more than I cared to think about.
He gestured toward the large leather couch. “Why don’t you take a seat, and I’ll go make a pot of coffee.”
My cheeks heated as I twisted my fingers together. “Um…do you have tea?”
He scrunched his brow and chuckled. “Seriously? The girl who sells coffee doesn’t even like it?”
“It’s not that I don’t like it, but if I drink coffee this late, I’ll have bizarre dreams. If I get to sleep at all, that is.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “Tea it is, then.”
Curiosity got the better of me, and while he clattered around in the kitchen, which was through a door off the dining area, I tiptoed over to his stereo system to check out the stack of CDs beside it. In my opinion, you could tell a whole lot about a guy based on his music, and I loved that in the day of the iPod, he still had discs.
I thumbed through bands such as Sisters of Mercy, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Mother Love Bone, and A Perfect Circle. Talk about eclectic taste. Good eclectic taste at that. He obviously had a thing for real guitars and solid sounds.
Impressive.
“Do you want to choose something to listen to?”
His voice made me jump and spin around to face him. “I wasn’t…I mean, I didn’t mean—”
He placed two steaming mugs on the oak coffee table in front of the couch. “Really, it’s fine. Choose something.”
I turned back to the stack of CDs and tried to find something that wasn’t exactly romantic. My head was telling me that the last thing I should be doing was getting cosy with him. My fingers landed on a Sisters of Mercy greatest hits compilation album. I removed the shiny disc from its case, hit the eject button on the CD player and slipped the CD into the drawer. Once I’d closed it and hit the random play button, I made my way over to where Fin stood, hands in pockets, with a wry smile on his face. My God, he was stunning. And I was losing my mind. I must have been. Why the hell else would I have been there?
“Great choice,” he said as I sat down opposite him in a leather tub chair. It was my head fighting my heart when I chose to sit so far away, and he frowned before sitting down too.
I took a sip of my tea from the mug Fin had placed before me. “So, you were going to tell me what happened.”
He huffed out a long breath and ran his fingers through his shaggy hair before looking me in the eyes once again. “You’re right. Okay. So, I suppose I should start at the beginning.”
“Under the Gun” played in the background as he recounted the details of his loveless childhood, and my heart ached for him. So much pressure had been placed on him from such a young age. My stomach twisted as his blue eyes closed briefly and then opened again. He had evidently tried so hard to be the perfect son, but nothing he had done had been sufficient for him to win his parents’ approval. How different his upbringing had been from mine. My parents weren’t exactly poor, but I’d been nowhere near as privileged as Fin had materialistically.
But the one thing I did have in abundance was love.
Suddenly feeling that the distance between us was too great as he poured his heart out to me, I stood and silently walked to sit beside him.
His nostrils flared and he clenched his jaw before speaking again. “I guess…I guess it’s time I stood on my own two feet now. Hence the new place and lack of job. I was forced into this situation, and I had to sell my car to fund this place for a while, but I’m hoping it’ll be the making of me.” He tilted his face to meet my gaze and his eyes glistened in the lamplight. He held eye contact for a few moments before leaning toward me infinitesimally. I slipped my tongue over my lips in readiness, but he suddenly pulled away and shook his head. “Oh, God. Listen to me rambling on like some fucking wimp.”
“You’re not a wimp, Fin. You’ve been treated like shit by parents who should’ve known better. I don’t know you all that well, but no one deserves to have been ignored like that. No one deserves to have their life mapped out for them and to have no say in how it goes.”
He forced a laugh. “Aww, come on. Don’t feel sorry for me. I’m just being pathetic.”
Anger bubbled up from deep within me. “No. No you’re not. Don’t think that. Honestly, you deserved so much more.” Without thinking, I reached my hand out to stroke his cheek, and he turned to face me once again. “So much more.”
My head was screaming at me to stop this immediately, but my heart wouldn’t listen. It was beating so hard that I could hear my blood thumping in my ears. This time, when he leaned toward me, he didn’t hesitate. He crushed his lips to mine with urgency and inhaled deeply as he slipped his hand into my hair. I gripped the front of his T-shirt as he tilted my head back and plundered my mouth with his tongue.
Every muscle below my waistline clenched with desire, and the groan that emanated from his throat vibrated down my chest where my nipples hardened at the passionate onslaught. What the hell was I doing? This wasn’t me. I didn’t behave like this. But regardless of my brain’s protestations, my body betrayed all rational thought as I dove in, tongue first.
He pulled away, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Fuck. I said I’d keep my hands to myself.”
My chest heaved too as I fought to pull air into my starved lung
s. “Y-you did promise that. But I guess it’s a little late to worry now.”
His brow crumpled and he shook his head. “What is it about you? I never open up to people. Ever. But you…you fucking draw me in, Star. Something deep inside me just can’t hold back. Sh-should I hold back?”
Yes! Yes, you should. Get up and walk away, Star slutty-whore Mendoza! Get up now! Leave! Once again, my psyche screamed at me, and I was barely gripping onto my sanity as I walked on thin ice, but once again, the inner voice fell on deaf ears.
I shook my head. “No. No, I don’t want you to hold back.”
“Temple of Love” registered in my foggy mind from the sound system. I loved that track, and it seemed to fit the intensity of whatever the hell was going on between me and Fin.
He searched my eyes for a moment before pulling me into his lap and reigniting the intense connection we had shared only moments before. I grasped at his clothing, unable to get close enough, and before I could protest, his hands gripped my T-shirt and swiped it over my head. His mouth returned to my body. This time he devoured my neck, sending shivers of delight down my spine. His fingers fumbled to release my bra clasp, and when I felt the garment loosen, a rush of adrenalin spiked in my veins. In one sweep of his arms, I was airborne and being carried from the living room down a corridor. With his mouth still latched onto mine, he raised his leg, kicked open a door behind me, and stumbled into the room. He flicked a switch and a bedside lamp illuminated the space just enough for me to quickly take in my surroundings.
His kiss overwhelmed and overpowered me. My insides had turned to a gelatinous, liquefied pool of desire, and as he placed me on the bed, I bucked my hips into him as he climbed atop me, needing to discover if I was affecting him the way he was affecting me. The firm ridge in his jeans told me what I needed to know. Our mouths remained connected but his fingers found my nipple. He rolled it around before he pulled his face away from mine and leaned to suck the tight bud into his hot, wet mouth.
I arched my back as he released my flesh and leaned back to work on the zipper of my shorts. I lifted my hips as he eased the denim past my hips and down my legs, along with my panties. Very soon, I was completely naked before him, and he gazed down at me from where he knelt between my thighs.
Shaking his head slowly, he leaned forward and traced the tattoo that wrapped around my ribcage from my back with the tips of his fingers, the delicate touch leaving a trail of goosebumps.
I watched as he swallowed hard. “My God, you’re beautiful.” His voice was a thick whisper, and his Scottish accent seemed stronger somehow. The way he looked at me made me feel exposed, and the urge to cover myself was almost impossible to fight. My cheeks heated so much I thought I was about to spontaneously combust. No one had ever looked at me like that before, with such intensity and longing.
Connecting with my watchful gaze once more, he said, “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone like this before. But how can that be? I mean…we’ve only just met. I don’t get it.” He shook his head again and I felt sure he was having second thoughts about taking this any further.
I thought I’d better give him a get out. “We don’t have to—”
His eyebrows raised in what appeared to be mild panic. “Are you changing your mind? Because if you are, you need to say so. I really want you, Star. But I don’t want to go any further if you’re not feeling what I’m feeling. I’m really not that kind of man.”
I should be getting the hell out of here. I don’t know who the hell I am anymore. “No. No, I’m not changing my mind.”
What the hell was he feeling? The CD must have come to an end as I suddenly realised the only sounds I could hear were my own heart and Fin’s heavy, jagged breaths. I pulled myself up to a sitting position and reached for his belt. Keeping my eyes fixed on his, I loosened the buckle and unbuttoned his fly.
This was it. This was me entering into what could potentially be a one night stand with open eyes and a more than willing body. Even though I didn’t know who I was at that moment, I liked me nonetheless. I liked the confident way I slipped his jeans and boxers down until his arousal was visible to my hungry eyes.
He leaned over to the nightstand and opened a drawer, taking out a condom from its wrapper. At least he was prepared. For a split second, I wondered if I should be bothered by that fact, but as he sheathed himself, I trailed my gaze over his smooth, muscular chest, down to his rippling abs, and settled on his impressive erection. Gripping him firmly with one hand, I leaned back and he followed, resting himself between my thighs once again.
This time his kiss was tender, like a kiss between long term lovers, and I melted underneath him as his tongue explored my mouth. I lifted my legs to accommodate his body and he slowly accepted my invitation. The sensation of being connected so intimately with a stranger—the stranger I had desired for so long—was both terrifying and exhilarating. He began to move, and I relaxed, allowing my head to roll back as he trailed his mouth to my neck and then to my breast.
“God, Star, you feel so good,” he mumbled, my breast still filling his mouth. I wanted to reply, but I had long since lost the ability to have a coherent thought, let alone allow anything to fall from my lips at that precise moment. His movements and the grinding of his hips were sending me slowly insane with need.
He rolled with me in his arms so I was straddling his hips and gazing down at his flawless skin. Where I was tattooed, he was tan and smooth. We were like some kind of yin and yang. Opposites who were seemingly attracted, if not drawn to one another. We connected physically, but there was more to it. There was something unspoken in his eyes as he watched me. I moved atop him, resting my hands on his chest where I dug my nails in, lightly scratching, and watching as I left little white indentations on his otherwise beautiful blank canvas.
Reaching down between my thighs, he began to stroke me, and I threw my head back in ecstasy at the sheer pleasure radiating through every nerve ending. My movements picked up pace and my body found a rhythm of its own. I had never been particularly vocal during sex, but for some inexplicable reason, I felt able to let go of my inhibitions with him. I closed my eyes and gave into my carnal urges.
Expletives and incoherent noises left my body as I was catapulted into outer space. He joined me with guttural grunts and strong thrusts before pulling me down into his arms and nuzzling my neck, his hot breath scorching my skin in the most delicious way as I floated back down to earth. The powerful release we had shared had been more intense than anything I had ever experienced in my whole life, and my God, I wanted to experience it again…and soon.
Fin
I awoke to a feeling of pins and needles in my left arm. When I turned my head in the direction of the numbing limb, I was greeted by a most beautiful sight. The alabaster skin of the girl I had only become acquainted with properly the night before.
Star Mendoza.
The intricate tattoo of vines and delicate flowers adorned her skin from her shoulder blade and weaved its way down her back to caress her ribcage. As gently as possible, I freed my arm and she rolled onto her back but didn’t wake. I propped myself up so I could see her face. The pale pink curls of her hair fanned out on the pillow beside me, and it was only when I looked closely that I spotted slim streaks of blonde showing through. For a few moments, I was mesmerised by her beauty and couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her full lips were slightly parted in her slumber, and her right arm covered the creamy mounds of her breasts; the beautiful soft flesh I had caressed with my tongue only hours before.
What the hell had I been thinking? I didn’t do the one night stand thing. Well, okay, I had never done the one night stand thing, but then again, I had been in a relationship with Elise since the dawn of bloody time. I didn’t understand what had made me act so carelessly—so recklessly—the night I met Star. She was so sweet, and despite her tattooed exterior, she wasn’t the tough, experienced girl I had expected. The sex had been amazing, don’t get me wrong. But this wasn’t just
about sex. There was something about her that drew me in. And like I said before, she wasn’t the type of girl I usually found myself attracted to. She looked nothing at all like Lily Macrae from the news. But that didn’t stop me from wanting to wake her so I could make love to her again.
I felt my blood rushing south as I remembered the way she had looked the night before. Gazing down at me, eyes intensely locked on mine as she moved over me, enveloping me with her tight body. As if my thoughts had been spoken aloud, she stirred and her eyelids fluttered open.
A beautiful smile graced her features. “Good morning.” She stretched her arms above her head, exposing her luscious breasts to me once again. She realised I was ogling her and she pulled the sheet up to cover herself again. “Ahem. I probably should be going. It’s a wonder Alec isn’t blowing up my phone with calls and texts right now.”
I sat bolt upright and winced as anger spiked at my insides. “Hang on. You’ve got a boyfriend? Oh, fuck. You choose now to mention the fact?”
Great. Now I feel like a complete sleaze.
She laughed and sat up to face me. “Take it easy. Alec is my roommate. Remember I mentioned my roommate last night? And anyway, I’m not man enough for him, if you get my meaning. You, however…well, he totally wanted you.”
My cheeks heated and I covered my eyes as I groaned. “Aww, fuck. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. You’re not the first one to jump to the wrong conclusion. Alec’s like a big brother, big sister, and best friend all rolled into one. He looks out for me and always has since I moved here. In fact, he owns the coffee shop and the apartment I share with him.”
Ugh. Now it all made sense. “Ah. I see.” I turned and leaned to reach my boxers and jeans. With a struggle, I managed to pull them on without flashing my wares at Star, which was ridiculous considering the antics of the night before.
Pointless being embarrassed after being so intimate.
Once I was covered, I turned to face her. “I’ll go and make coffee…um…tea. Feel free to grab a shower. Bathroom’s just through that door.” I pointed to my en-suite.
Duplicity Page 6
