by Amy Clipston
“I sat next to him in school, and his leg was always bobbing up and down. It was like he had too much nervous energy.” Katie frowned. “Trust me.”
Lindsay laughed.
Lizzie Anne pointed to another young man. “What about Jason? He’s handsome, no?”
“No,” Katie said. “Talks too loud. He used to give me a headache in school.”
Lizzie Anne and Lindsay both laughed.
Lizzie Anne gestured toward another young man. “Joey is nice. He always smiles at you.”
Katie’s expression transformed to disbelief. “Joey? His suspenders are always crooked.”
“What?” Lindsay asked with surprise. “Are you serious, Katie? That’s ridiculous.” She nodded toward another boy. “What about Merv? He’s really nice.”
Katie shook her head. “He always misses a snap on his shirt.” She pointed toward the group. “And don’t even mention Titus. His one boot is untied. I’m surprised he hasn’t fallen yet tonight.”
Lindsay and Lizzie Anne burst into laughter, and Katie couldn’t help but join in. Oh, how she loved these fun moments with her two best friends! She wished they would last forever.
“You are too picky, Katie Kauffman,” Lizzie Anne said, slapping Katie’s arm. “You’ll never find a bu if you have such high standards.”
Katie shrugged. “I just know what I don’t like.”
“I don’t know if you’ll find any bu as perfect as you expect,” Lindsay said, wiping her eyes from laughing so much.
“I don’t know either.” Katie frowned. Does that mean I’ll wind up alone?
“I had a lot of fun tonight,” Lindsay said while riding next to Katie on the way back to her house later that evening.
“I did too,” Katie said. “I’m so glad you had a good visit with the bishop. It will be nice to have you in baptism instruction with us.”
Samuel guided the horse into Lindsay’s driveway. “You two and Lizzie Anne better behave at those classes. You do realize it’s serious, ya?” He smiled. “I’m only joking. I think it’s great you’ll all be baptized together.”
“Ya,” Lindsay said. “Danki for the ride. Drive safely heemet.”
“Gern gschehne,” Samuel said. “Tell Aenti Rebecca and Onkel Daniel hello for us.”
“Gut nacht,” Katie said, hugging Lindsay. “Talk to you soon.”
Lindsay climbed down from the buggy and waved before entering the house. She retrieved a flashlight from the shelf by the door and used it to guide her up the stairs. She spotted a light under Rebecca’s door and continued down the hallway toward it. She gently tapped on the door, hoping her aunt and uncle were still awake.
“Come in,” Daniel called softly.
Lindsay gingerly turned the knob and pushed the door open, finding her aunt and uncle propped up in bed while reading. “Hi.”
Rebecca’s eyes lit up as she closed her Christian novel. “Lindsay! I’m so glad you’re heemet. I heard it went well with the bishop.”
“I’m sorry, Lindsay, but I couldn’t wait to tell Rebecca the gut news.” Daniel placed his Bible in his lap. “I hope you’re not disappointed in me.”
“I’m not disappointed,” Lindsay said. “I’m glad you told Aenti Rebecca.”
“Come here, mei liewe.” Rebecca reached over and took Lindsay’s hand before pulling her into a hug. “I’m very glad the bishop agreed to allow you in the class. I know this is very important to you.”
“I told Rebecca how mature you were,” Daniel said. “We both agree you’ll do fine with the makeup sessions.”
“Danki.” Lindsay sat on the edge of the bed. “I was naerfich. But the bishop was very understanding and he listened to everything I had to say.”
“Your words were perfect,” Daniel said with a solemn expression. “You showed him you were serious.”
“Danki. I also appreciated everything you said too, Onkel Daniel. You were a source of great strength to me.” While tracing a leaf on the flowery design of Rebecca’s quilt, Lindsay wondered what her mother would say about her decision to become Amish. In her heart, she felt her mother would be supportive. Glancing up, she found Rebecca yawning while cupping her hand to her mouth. “I should let you rest.”
“No, no.” Rebecca shook her head and yawned again.
Daniel touched Rebecca’s hand. “I believe our niece is right, mei liewe. Your exhaustion is written all over your face.”
“And your yawns,” Lindsay added with a smile.
Rebecca nodded. “I guess you’re both right.”
“You know we are.” Daniel placed his Bible on his nightstand. “We should all head to bed.”
Lindsay stood. “Gut nacht. Danki for your help with my decision.”
“You made the decision,” Daniel said with a knowing smile. “We just listened while you talked yourself through it.”
Rebecca nodded. “That’s the truth.”
“Gut nacht,” Daniel said. “We’ll see you in the morning.”
Lindsay stepped out into the hallway and gently closed the door behind her. After sneaking in to kiss her cousins, she headed to her room. Sitting on her bed, she blew out a deep breath and then silently thanked God for the blessings in her life.
5
The following evening, Lindsay was tucking Emma into bed when she heard Daniel call her name. Rushing down the stairs, she found Daniel and Matthew standing in the kitchen.
“Matthew,” she said, breathless from hurrying down the stairs. “What a surprise. Is everything okay?”
“Ya,” Matthew said. “I was wondering if we could speak on the porch for a few moments.”
Lindsay glanced at Daniel, who nodded.
“A few minutes will be fine,” Daniel said.
“Danki, Daniel,” Matthew said. He opened the back door, holding it for Lindsay.
Lindsay stepped out onto the porch and sat on the porch swing, smoothing her dress and apron over her legs. She touched her headscarf, hoping it was straight. “What brings you out here, Matthew? I wasn’t expecting you tonight.”
“I felt like we didn’t get much time to talk last night.” Matthew lowered himself onto the swing next to her. “It was noisy at the youth gathering, and Lizzie Anne and Katie wanted to spend time with you.” He reached into his pocket. “I made something for you today. Hold out your hand.”
She opened her hand and he placed a small wooden heart in her palm. “Oh, Matthew.” She ran her fingers over the smooth piece of wood. “I love it.” She smiled up at him. “Danki.”
“It has two meanings. It represents my heart, and I thought it was symbolic of what you’re about to do.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, rubbing the heart with her fingertips.
He pointed at the heart. “You’re going to be baptized and give your heart to Jesus.”
Lindsay smiled. “That’s exactly right. Danki.”
“Are you naerfich?” he asked.
“Oh ya,” she said. “This is such a huge commitment. I know it’s right for me, but I hope I can live up to the community’s expectations.”
“You will.” Matthew leaned back on the swing. “You’re too hard on yourself.” He looked up toward the sky. “It’s a schee night. Look at the stars.”
“They’re lovely.” Lindsay gripped the heart and studied the stars. “I used to sit on the back porch with my dad and watch the stars when I was younger.”
“Did you?” Matthew looked surprised. “You never told me that.”
Lindsay shrugged. “It’s just a memory from my childhood.” She shook her head while thinking back to her childhood days. “When I was really young, I used to make a wish on the first star I’d see. Isn’t that silly?”
Matthew smiled. “I think a lot of little girls do that, ya?”
Lindsay nodded and thought of her father again. “I loved spending time with my dad. He and I used to like to go on the back porch to watch thunderstorms. Whenever I see a thunderstorm, I think of those times. I miss him.”
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“I’m certain you do,” Matthew said. “I miss mei mamm and the happy memories I had of mei dat before he left us. But God gives us those precious memories to help us through the hard times.”
“What do you miss most about your mamm?” Lindsay asked.
Matthew rubbed his chin, considering the question. “I miss our talks the most. We’d always talk while we drove to church. Mei dat was a good listener when I was young before he changed and decided he was unhappy living the Amish life.”
“I know how you feel.” Lindsay frowned. “I miss talking to my parents too.” She studied his handsome profile. “Did you feel different after you were baptized? Did you feel reborn in your faith?”
“Absolutely,” he said with a serious expression. “I’m certain you will too.”
“Ya.” Lindsay stared at the stars and silently marveled how much she enjoyed sitting with Matthew. “I imagine it was difficult for you to move here with your mamm and leave all of your freinden back in your former community.”
He nodded. “Ya, but everyone was so welcoming here. It quickly felt like heemet.”
“I understand,” Lindsay said. “I felt the same way when Jessica and I came here.”
“And now you’re taking the final step to become Amish,” Matthew said, his smile returning. “Have you shared the news with Jessica?”
“Ya.” Lindsay slipped the heart into the pocket of her apron. “I was pleasantly surprised. She was supportive.”
“Gut.” Matthew patted the arm of the swing. “It’s time she accepted your decisions.”
“I know.” Lindsay looked toward the stars. “I’m so froh. Things are working out the way I’d hoped. Soon I’ll truly be a member of the community I love.”
“You’re already a member in my eyes.” Matthew’s expression was serious. “I look forward to the day you’re baptized, Lindsay.”
Before she could respond, the back door opened with a squeak, revealing Daniel. “It’s getting late. I think you should be heading heemet, Matthew. Work comes early in the morning, ya?”
“Ya.” Matthew stood. “Danki for the reminder.” He shook Daniel’s hand. “Danki for allowing me to visit with Lindsay for a short while. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
“You drive safely. See you tomorrow.” Daniel glanced at Lindsay. “It’s bedtime, Lindsay.” He stepped back into the kitchen and closed the door.
Lindsay smiled at Matthew. “I’m so glad you came to visit tonight.” She pulled the wooden heart from her pocket. “Danki for the lovely gift.”
“Gern gschehne.” He smiled. “I’m glad I got to see you.” He pointed to the heart. “Take gut care of my heart, Lindsay.” He then loped down the steps toward his waiting buggy.
As his buggy bounced down the driveway toward the road, Lindsay smiled. Her heart fluttered as she wondered how her relationship with Matthew would change once she was baptized and allowed to date.
For the next six weeks, Lindsay attended baptism classes at the bishop’s house on Monday and Thursday evenings and also before the church service every other Sunday. She felt her heart swell with love for the Amish culture every moment of her lessons. The more she learned about the traditions, the more she knew she was meant to become an official part of the community.
Finally, the day arrived. Lindsay’s hands trembled as she sat on a bench near the front of the room during a regular Sunday service, which was being held in her aunt Sarah Rose’s and uncle Luke’s house. The walls downstairs had been moved to make room for rows of benches. More than one hundred members of her church district were there for the service. Today was the day she would be baptized and truly become Amish. Her heart thumped in her chest and her eyes filled with tears.
Earlier that morning, Lindsay and her baptism classmates had met with the ministers one last time while the congregation began singing hymns. After their meeting, they filed into the church service together, first the young men and then the young women. They had taken their seats on the benches reserved for them, divided by gender as their elders were, at the front of the congregation near the ministers.
“Are you okay?” Lizzie Anne whispered while sitting next to Lindsay.
“You don’t seem like yourself,” Katie chimed in from the other side of her.
“I just wish Aenti Rebecca were here,” Lindsay said as Katie took her hand.
“I miss her too,” Katie whispered. “But you know the doctor said it’s not safe for her to get up. She’s thinking of you and praying for you right now. Just remember the rest of your family is here, including Onkel Daniel.”
“She’s right,” Lizzie Anne whispered. “You can tell her all about it later.”
“Shh,” Katie warned. “It’s time for the service to begin.”
Lindsay and her classmates bowed their heads and covered their faces with their hands, a symbol of their willingness to submit to God and the church.
She did her best to concentrate through the two sermons based on the Book of Acts, but her mind buzzed with thoughts of how much her life would change once she was a member of the church. She would participate in the fall Communion service coming next month. It felt so right, her heart soared.
Glancing to her right and left, she found her best friends staring at the minister with serious expressions. She inwardly smiled to herself and silently thanked God for her special friends and for the opportunity to share this important day with them.
Once the sermons ended, the deacon left the room to retrieve the pail of water and a cup.
“Go down on your knees before the Most High and Almighty God and His church if you still think this is the right thing to do to obtain your salvation,” Bishop Chupp instructed Lindsay and the rest of the candidates.
Once on her knees, the bishop stood by Lindsay first. She held her breath with anticipation. The moment had come.
“Can you renounce the devil, the world, and your own flesh and blood?” the bishop asked.
“Ya,” she said, her voice a quavering whisper.
“Can you commit yourself to Christ and His church and to abide by it and therein to live and to die?”
“Ya,” she whispered.
“And in all the order of the church, according to the Word of the Lord, to be obedient and submissive to it and to help therein?”
“Ya,” she said.
Lindsay closed her eyes and tried to calm her heartbeat as the bishop moved to Lizzie Anne. Once he was finished asking the questions of each candidate, he directed the congregation to stand. He read a prayer from the traditional Swiss Anabaptist prayer book before the congregation sat again.
The bishop, his wife, the deacon, and his wife stood before Lindsay. The deacon’s wife removed Lindsay’s prayer covering. Lindsay’s body shook anew as the deacon poured water into the bishop’s cupped hands before it dripped onto Lindsay’s head. The water was cool and refreshing. She truly felt reborn!
Bishop Chupp then extended his hand to Lindsay and she rose. She closed her eyes while he recited a prayer. “May the Lord God complete the good work which He has begun in you and strengthen and comfort you to a blessed end through Jesus Christ,” he said. “Amen.”
The bishop’s wife kissed Lindsay as a symbol of the “holy kiss” before Lindsay was given her prayer covering, which she placed back on her head.
Lindsay closed her eyes and prayed while the baptism was completed for the rest of the candidates. She prayed for Rebecca, Jessica, the rest of her family, and her friends who were also baptized today. When the process was complete, the bishop reminded the congregation to be obedient.
Once the service was over, Lindsay greeted her friends and family members and accepted their handshakes and words of encouragement. She was now a member of the church. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of her mother, and she wondered if her mother had felt this same elation when she’d been baptized so many years ago.
“Congratulations,” Matthew said as he approached. He held out his hand, and she s
hook it.
“Danki,” Lindsay said. “It’s really overwhelming. Just like you told me, I feel like I’ve been reborn.”
He hooked his thumbs around his suspenders. “I remember that feeling. It’s like a brand-new beginning, a new chapter in your life.”
“Ya,” Lindsay said. “That’s exactly right.”
Katie walked up and pulled Lindsay into a hug. “This is the best day of my life. I’m so froh we could be baptized together. It was perfect!”
“I agree.” Lindsay smiled at her friend. “I can’t wait to tell Rebecca all about it.”
Lizzie Anne joined them and pulled them both into a group hug. “We did it.”
Daniel stepped over to Lindsay and touched her arm. “I’m so froh for you, Lindsay. Welcome to the church.”
“Danki.” Lindsay gave him a quick hug. “I’m so glad you could be here.”
“I am too,” he said. “You know Rebecca wishes she could be here. I’m thankful mei mamm’s neighbor was able to help out with the kinner so I could attend and represent Rebecca and myself and our support of your new life in the church.”
“I know,” Lindsay said. “I’m glad you could share this special day with me.”
Daniel greeted Lizzie Anne and Katie before moving on to talk to another relative.
“We’d better help serve the meal,” Lindsay said before turning to Matthew. “We need to help the rest of the women set up lunch.”
“I know,” Matthew said. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“Okay,” Lindsay said before turning to walk with her friends to the kitchen. She nodded greetings to relatives and friends as she passed.
Lizzie Anne leaned in close. “Now you and Matthew can really date!”
Lindsay’s stomach fluttered at the thought. “I’m not in any rush.”
Lizzie Anne stopped Lindsay by grabbing her arm. “You don’t have to rush, Lindsay. Just take your time. Samuel and I are getting to know each other slowly, and it’s been a lot of fun.” She grinned. “I’m sure you and Matthew will have a lot of fun too. Just be yourself and see where your heart leads you.”
Lindsay couldn’t stop her smile. “You sound like you’ve fallen in love with Samuel Kauffman. As mei schweschder would say, you’ve got it bad.”
