by Amy Clipston
18
Three weeks later, Katie sniffed and wiped her eyes as the bride and groom recited their vows in front of nearly two hundred members of the community who were gathered in Lizzie Anne’s home. Weddings always made Katie cry, which made her feel silly. After all, it was a very happy occasion, and it wasn’t as if she were the one getting married.
Katie had once attended an English wedding ceremony with her grandmother when one of their customers invited them. She found the English weddings were very different from the Amish ceremonies. English weddings were usually held on Saturdays throughout the year. Amish weddings were scheduled for Tuesdays and Thursdays in the fall and didn’t include flowers, tuxedoes, or gowns.
Just like a typical church service, Katie sat next to Lindsay with the other young, unmarried women on backless benches. The service had begun with Lizzie Anne and Samuel meeting with the minister while the congregation sang hymns from the Ausbund.
When the hymns were complete, Lizzie Anne and Samuel returned to the congregation and sat with their attendants: her sisters Naomi and Levina, his brother Raymond, and her brother Elam. Katie couldn’t help but think Lizzie Anne looked stunning in her blue dress, especially with her attendants by her side in their matching dresses. Naomi, who had given birth to her second daughter, Priscilla, only three weeks ago, looked beautiful too. The women sat facing Samuel, Raymond, and Elam, who were clad in their traditional Sunday black-and-white clothing.
After another hymn, the minister delivered a thirty-minute sermon based on Old Testament stories of marriages. Katie tried her best to concentrate on the sermon but her mind was racing with thoughts of the scene playing out in front of her. It all seemed surreal — as if life were moving ahead of Katie at hyper-speed. How could her brother be old enough to be getting married? And when had he fallen in love with one of her best friends? Katie had to be dreaming.
Lindsay elbowed Katie in the rib cage. “Katie?” she whispered. “Are you okay? You look a little green.”
“I’m feeling green,” Katie whispered. “This all seems so unreal.”
Lindsay looked confused, but Katie didn’t reply as they joined the rest of the congregation in kneeling for silent prayer. Once the prayer was complete, everyone rose for the minister’s reading of Matthew 19:1 – 12.
Bishop Abner Chupp then stood and began to preach the main sermon, continuing with the Book of Genesis, recounting the story of Abraham and the other patriarchs included in the book.
Lindsay leaned over to Katie. “What do you mean by unreal?”
Katie shook her head. “I just can’t believe mei bruder is marrying one of mei best freinden,” she whispered. “It seems like only yesterday Samuel was taking my favorite doll and running around the pasture laughing at me while I whined for him to bring it back.”
Lindsay cupped a hand over her mouth as she stifled a laugh, and Katie bit back a sigh. She knew she should be happy for Lizzie Anne and Samuel, and she was, deep down. Yet it all seemed to be happening so fast.
Katie looked toward the soon-to-be newlyweds. Lizzie Anne beamed at her groom, whose eyes shone with love for her. Katie hoped she found that love someday, and she prayed somehow she could still enjoy that love with Jake.
Her eyes moved to the sea of young, unmarried men at the other side of the room, and she was astonished to find Jake in the back sitting next to Matthew. Her heart slammed against her rib cage when she saw that he was studying her. She wondered if he was hoping they could someday find happiness despite the rules and traditions that separated them.
Katie kept her eyes locked on Jake’s. She wondered if they could possibly sneak in a moment to talk. She missed him so much her heart ached. Oh, how she wished things could be different, and they could be together!
Tearing her eyes away from Jake, she turned back to the bride and groom, who seemed to be listening intently to the bishop’s lecture on the apostle Paul’s instructions for marriage, which were included in 1 Corinthians and Ephesians.
The bishop continued his sermon, instructing Lizzie Anne and Samuel on how to run a godly household, and then he moved on to a forty-five minute sermon on the story of Sarah and Tobias from the intertestamental book of Tobit.
When the sermon was over, the bishop looked between Lizzie Anne and Samuel. “Now here are two in one faith,” he said. “Elizabeth Anne King and Samuel Robert Kauffman.” The bishop asked the congregation if they knew any scriptural reason for the couple to not be married. Hearing no response, he continued. “If it is your desire to be married, you may in the name of the Lord come forth.”
Samuel took Lizzie Anne’s hand in his, and they stood before the bishop to take their vows.
While the couple responded to the bishop’s questions, Katie glanced over at Jake. She gnawed her lower lip when she found him still watching her. He smiled, and she couldn’t help but return the sweet gesture. Oh, how she wished she could read his thoughts! Was he thinking of her and what their relationship could’ve been if they were both Amish?
Katie held his gaze with her heart pounding in her chest while the bishop read “A Prayer for Those About to Be Married” from an Amish prayer book called the Christenpflict.
Once the bishop returned to the sermon, Katie broke the trance and directed her attention back to the service. She wanted to talk to Jake, because she needed to know how he felt about her. Did he still care even though they hadn’t spoken for more than a month? Although she wasn’t allowed to speak to Jake, she’d never let her feelings for him evaporate. He still haunted her thoughts during the day and her dreams at night. She knew she was in love with him, and the feelings were as strong today as they were the day he saved her from the men who attacked her.
When the sermon ended, the congregation knelt while the bishop again read from the Christenpflict. After the bishop recited the Lord’s Prayer, the congregation stood, and the three-hour service ended with the singing of another hymn.
Once the ceremony was over, the men began rearranging furniture while Katie, Lindsay, and the rest of the women set out to serve the wedding dinner, which included chicken with stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, pepper cabbage, and cooked cream of celery. The bountiful desserts that would follow the meal were cookies, pie, fruit, and Jell-O salad.
Katie glanced back toward the newly married couple, who were surrounded by well-wishers.
“It was a beautiful wedding, ya?” Lindsay asked while they walked to the kitchen.
“Ya,” Katie said. “It truly was.”
“Lizzie Anne looks so froh.” Lindsay sighed. “I can’t imagine what it feels like to be the bride. I used to wonder if I’d ever fall in love and get married. But now it feels like it could really happen, you know?”
“Oh, my,” Katie said. “It’s serious with Matthew and you, ya?”
“Ya,” Lindsay said. “I’m really happy. I never thought I could find this kind of happiness. It’s really nice.”
Katie smiled, despite the jealousy nipping at her. She knew jealousy was a sin, but it was difficult for her to watch her two best friends fall in love while she sat alone wishing she could be with Jake. “I think it’s wunderbaar gut, and I wish you all the best.” She glanced toward the women preparing trays of food for the waiting wedding guests. “I’m going to see what I can carry out.”
“I’ll come too,” Lindsay said, falling into step beside her.
Katie chose a bowl of mashed potatoes while Lindsay took a bowl of gravy and a ladle.
“I guess we’ll serve the bride and groom,” Lindsay said as they started out to the family room. “They always get served first.”
“That’s right.”
Katie and Lindsay moved toward the corner where the bride and groom sat with their attendants.
“Katie!” Lizzie Anne squealed, pulling Katie into her arms for a tight hug. “Lindsay!” She hugged Lindsay next. “I’m so glad you’re both here.”
“Congratulations.” Katie gestured toward Lizzie Anne’s dress.
“You look schee. I’m so froh for you.” Tears filled her eyes. She truly was happy for her friend and her brother.
While Lindsay and Lizzie Anne prattled on about the service, Katie turned toward Samuel. “Congratulations. I’m really sorry I was so negative when you got engaged. You and Lizzie Anne belong together, and I’m sorry I couldn’t see that before. I never meant to be so mean.”
“Danki, Katie,” Samuel said with a smile. “That means a lot.”
“I guess I can finally call you a man now since you have a fraa.” Katie grinned.
Samuel laughed. “I guess so. Don’t worry, schweschder. Your time will come soon enough.” He hugged her, and Katie wished she could believe his words.
Lizzie Anne and Samuel were engulfed in a group of friends, while Lindsay stepped over to talk to Matthew. Not wanting to intrude on either conversation, Katie moved back toward the kitchen to retrieve more food. She spotted her parents across the room engrossed in a conversation with Lizzie Anne’s parents.
“Katie,” her aunt Beth Anne called from the kitchen. “Would you run out to see if there are any guests to greet? I’m supposed to be out there, but I’m tied up with the meal preparation and need to finish what I’m doing here.”
“Ya,” Katie said. “Of course.” Turning back toward the doorway, she walked directly into Jake. “Jake,” she said with surprise. “I didn’t see you there.”
“I know.” He frowned. “I had to talk to you. It’s been too long. How are you, Katie?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I have to go outside and greet guests for mei aenti Beth Anne. Enjoy your meal. Excuse me.”
She rushed to the door, retrieved her wrap from a hook, and hurried out to see if any guests had arrived for the reception. As much as she longed to talk to Jake, she didn’t want to encourage him to break her father’s rules and create more problems for her. She hoped he wouldn’t follow her outside. She knew if he followed her, it would mean more trouble since her father was just inside the house.
Katie glanced around the sea of buggies and didn’t spot any guests arriving. She turned toward the house and gasped as she spotted Jake smiling at her. “Jake,” she said, walking over to him. “What are you doing out here?” She craned her neck to see past him, hoping no one had spotted them together.
“I had to see you,” Jake said, his eyes pleading with her. “How are you doing, Katie? How are you really?”
“Jake, you can’t be here.” She motioned toward the house. “I can’t disobey mei dat again.” She looked around, hoping no one had followed Jake. “Did anyone see you come out here?”
“No,” he said. “I snuck out the back door when no one was around.” He shivered, and she glanced at his button-down black shirt and trousers.
She hugged her wrap closer to her body. “Why didn’t you get your coat?”
He shrugged. “I was in a hurry and didn’t want to attract too much attention.” He gestured toward her. “It’s been too long since we’ve talked.”
“I know, but we can’t be seen together, Jake.” Frowning, she shook her head. “You have to go. Please, Jake.”
He looked pained, causing her heart to shatter.
“I know I shouldn’t have followed you,” he said. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to cause more problems for you, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine,” she whispered. “Please just go.”
As he disappeared up the stairs to the porch, Katie sent a silent prayer up to God asking Him to please guide her and Jake so that they could somehow find a way to be together.
Jake’s body shook like a leaf in a windstorm as he rushed up the back porch and through the door. Glancing left and then right, he spotted groups of wedding guests talking, but no one looked toward him.
He weaved through one knot of guests to reach the bathroom, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he found the door open and the room unoccupied. He stepped into the small room and shut and locked the door behind him.
Leaning against the wall, Jake hugged his arms to his chest and shivered. Although the cold had seeped into his body, warmth had filled him as he thought of Katie. He’d only hoped to say hello to her after watching her during the three-hour wedding ceremony. He’d dared to approach her after noticing her parents were busy visiting with other wedding guests. Jake had wanted to get a chance to talk to her, but she’d dismissed him. He knew trying to talk to her was a risk, but he couldn’t bear the thought of being in the same building as her without speaking to her.
The bitter cold had stung his exposed skin as soon as he stepped out the door, and the discomfort increased as their time outside wore on. However, standing with her, even in the cold of December, was exhilarating.
He knew she was the only girl for him. And he loved her. From the depth of his soul he felt the words — I love Katie Kauffman. He had to find a way to be with her, but he didn’t know how.
After taking a deep breath and rubbing his arms a few times, Jake stepped back into the crowd of wedding guests, slipping over to stand by Matthew and Lindsay near the warm woodstove by the kitchen. They were discussing the upcoming plans for visiting friends during the Christmas season, and Jake did his best to join in the conversation, smiling and nodding while they spoke.
Glancing across the room, he spotted Katie standing with her sister Nancy. Her eyes met his and she quickly looked away.
Jake held his breath and sent up a prayer to God asking Him for guidance. He needed to find a way to be with Katie Kauffman. Jake wanted to be able to tell the rest of the world that he loved her.
Later that evening, Jake tossed his keys onto the small table by his door and kicked off his shoes. Heading through the kitchen, he spotted a red light blinking on his answering machine, so he hit the button.
“Jake,” a familiar feminine voice said. “It’s Jessica. I wanted to just say hi. I hope you’re doing well.” She paused as if to gather her thoughts. “I’ll be in town for the holidays, and I’d love to see you. I’m arriving next week. Hopefully we’ll run into each other, or maybe we can sneak away for a bite to eat. I’d love to get caught up. Anyway, I hope you’re having a nice week. I hope to talk to you soon. Bye.”
Jake knew he should call Jessica back and tell her he hoped to see her during the holidays, but he was too emotionally spent. His thoughts were only focused on Katie. He needed to find a way to be with her. He couldn’t bear being forbidden from talking to her.
He climbed the steep stairs to his bedroom while contemplating his predicament. Having Katie avoid him tonight was too much for his already broken heart. He knew he’d been wrong to follow her outside, but the need to talk to her had been overwhelming. He didn’t want to cause more problems for her by being too forward, but he also couldn’t walk away from her and forget her after all they’d been through together.
While he changed for bed, Jake again thought of Katie. He’d felt a resurgence of hope after praying for guidance with their relationship. He hoped the solution would come to him soon.
19
Jessica burst through the back door of Rebecca’s house. “Merry Christmas!” Dropping her bags on the kitchen floor, she opened her arms as her little cousins ran over to her. “Hi,” she said, hugging them close. “Emma! Junior! You’ve gotten so big.”
“Jess,” Junior said. “Willkumm heemet.”
“Oh, thank you,” Jessica said. “It’s good to be back.”
Lindsay burst into the room. “Jess!” She hugged her. “How are you?”
“I’m great.” She studied her sister, who seemed to glow. “You look different, Sis. You’re happier.”
“I guess I am.” Lindsay began picking up bags from the floor. “I’ll help you take your things upstairs.”
“Oh, thanks.” Jessica grabbed her wheeled suitcase and matching tote bag and followed Lindsay toward the stairs. “I brought a lot of gifts for the kids. We’re going to the Kauffman gathering, right?”
“Ya,” Lindsay said. �
��It’s at Katie’s house this year.” She started up the stairs.
“Cool.” Jessica hiked her bag further up on her shoulder while they climbed the steep flight. “How’s Aunt Rebecca?”
“Doing really well.” Lindsay smiled. “She had an appointment last week, and everything looks great. The doctor said she could even deliver early.”
“Oh, wow.” Jessica shook her head. “What a miracle that Aunt Rebecca thought she’d never have children, and now she’ll have three.”
“God is good.” Lindsay stood outside her doorway. “You can have my room. I’ll sleep in the other room with Emma. We still have the extra bed in there. There’s a new crib already set up in Rebecca’s room for the baby. We can’t wait to find out what the baby will be. If it’s a girl, she’ll eventually share a room with Emma, and, of course, a boy would share with Junior when he’s older.”
“Are you certain about giving up your room for me again this time?” Jessica asked. “I don’t mind sleeping in the room with Emma.”
“It’s not a problem at all.” Lindsay placed the bags on the bed. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
Jessica dropped her bags on the floor next to the bed. “You missed me, huh?”
“Yes, I did.” Lindsay leaned on the doorframe. “How’s school?”
“Good.” Jessica lowered herself onto the bed next to her suitcase. “It seems like the projects and tests don’t stop, but I’m muddling through it. I can’t wait until this year is over.”
“Do you ever have time for fun?” Lindsay asked, looking concerned. “You know you can really wear yourself out if you don’t have any downtime for yourself.”
Jessica shrugged. “Kim and I sometimes go out to eat or see a movie. It’s not very often, but it’s something.”
“That’s good, I guess,” Lindsay said. “Just remember what Dad used to say when we were working ourselves to death in school. You need to work hard but also find time for fun.”
Jessica frowned. “I think about that statement a lot, but I figure college isn’t going to last forever. I’ll eventually get to have some fun, right?” She gestured toward Lindsay. “I want to hear about you. I’m glad Aunt Rebecca is doing much better, but how are you doing? How are things with your friends?”
