by Amy Clipston
“Someone who witnessed it from afar told mei fraa.” Abner frowned and shook his head. “I’m so sorry for not believing Katie. I need to apologize to her and tell Robert the truth.”
“That would be helpful, Bishop,” Jake said. “Thank you.”
“Now, back to your request to be baptized,” Abner continued. “What would your family say about your converting?”
“I’ve spoken with my parents and my grandparents about why my mother left. I understand why my mother left the faith, but I also believe my parents and grandparents would support my converting.” Jake held his breath, praying Abner believed him.
“Gut.” Abner smiled. “You and I will have to speak to Bishop Gideon Swartzendruber and see if he will allow you into his class in order to be baptized next year.”
Jake smiled. “That would be wonderful. Danki, Bishop. I truly appreciate your support in this.”
“Gern gschehne.” The bishop stood. “Do you want to go speak to Bishop Gideon Swartzendruber today?”
“Would that be convenient for you?” Jake asked with surprise.
“It’s fine.” Abner shrugged while heading toward the house. “I’ll go tell mei fraa we’re running out for a bit. We can run over there in your truck, and then we can go see Robert Kauffman and set him straight.”
“Oh, thank you so much.” Standing, Jake faced the old man and shook his head while hope swelled in his heart. He then considered his truck and frowned. “Will my truck give Bishop Swartzendruber the wrong impression?”
Abner held open the storm door and chuckled. “You’re English. He’d be surprised if you didn’t have a vehicle. Besides, it would take nearly an hour by buggy. I’ll be right back.”
Jake’s heart pounded in his chest while Abner disappeared into his house. This is really happening! I’m going to become Amish, and Katie and I will finally be together!
Thirty minutes later, Jake sat across from the two bishops in Gideon Swartzendruber’s kitchen. As if mirror images, they both studied him while fingering their long, gray beards.
“You want to be Amish, ya?” Gideon asked. “And your mamm left the faith before you were born. She was shunned, ya?”
“She was.” Jake folded his hands on the table and sat erect, hoping to look serious and respectful. “However, once my twin brother, Jeremy, and I were born, she and my grandparents rebuilt their relationship. My grandparents have been a great source of strength to me, especially after my twin brother was killed in a car accident. I’ve always been very close to my grandparents, and I have a great love and respect for the Amish faith. I feel as if I was always meant to be Amish. Now it seems God is leading me to the faith more than ever.”
The two bishops spoke to each other in Pennsylvania Dutch, and Jake picked up a few words here and there. It sounded as if they were discussing his sincerity. He listened while they spoke and waited for them to face him.
“I know that this seems sudden, but I have truly thought this through.” Jake gestured toward the front of the house. “I plan to advertise my truck beginning next week after I change the oil and check a few things on it. Once my truck is sold, I’ll walk to work since I live close by.”
The bishops nodded in unison, and Jake couldn’t help but think they almost looked like fraternal twins.
“You realize you can’t simply decide to be Amish and then quickly convert. You must be a part of the community for approximately six months,” Gideon said. “You’ll need to live as we do without any of your modern conveniences. After that, you must complete baptism classes. That will include six months of instruction since you’re converting.”
“I understand, and I’m prepared to do everything that’s required. My uncle owns my house,” Jake explained. “I’ll tell him I plan to move out soon. I’ll move in with my grandparents until I can afford a farm of my own. I’ll begin worshipping with them and acquiring Amish clothes. I’m ready to make a full commitment to this community and to my new life right away, and I’ll be ready for my instruction.”
“Is there anything else that is influencing this decision?” Gideon asked.
“Yes,” Jake said. “I’m in love with an Amish girl, and my converting to the Amish faith is the only way we can be together. She’s suffered a lot since we met because we’re forbidden from seeing each other. She’s newly baptized, and I can’t imagine asking her to be shunned for me. I’m willing to sacrifice my modern conveniences to be with her. I truly love her, and as I explained to Abner, I believe God brought our paths together. I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I want to purchase some land, build a farm, and have a family with her. I know in my heart we’re meant to be together.”
The bishops exchanged serious expressions, and then Abner turned back to Jake. “Would you please wait outside on the porch for a moment? We would like to speak in private.”
“Of course. Take your time.” Jake stood and moved through the family room and stepped out on the porch.
Lowering himself onto the porch swing, he closed his eyes and prayed, asking God to guide the bishops in their decision about his future. After his prayer was complete, he gently moved the swing back and forth while thinking of Katie. He couldn’t help but wonder what she would say if she knew he was sitting on Gideon Swartzendruber’s front porch awaiting an answer to his request to be baptized.
Jake hugged his coat closer to his body and shivered while staring out at the traffic moving past the farm. He glanced up at the sky as dusk began to set in on Lancaster County. The day had taken such an unexpected twist. Jake felt his life taking a more meaningful and fulfilling path.
“Jacob,” Abner called from the doorway. “Would you please come back in and join us?”
“Of course.” Jake rose and followed the elderly man back to the kitchen. His body quaked anew with anticipation as he sat in the chair across from them.
“We’ve made our decision,” Abner began.
“We would like to welcome you to the Amish community,” Gideon began, his lips curving into a smile. “You’re invited to join the baptism class in my district next spring.”
“Oh, thank you!” Jake clapped his hands together. “I mean, danki! This is so wonderful.” Jumping up, he shook their hands with such vigor they each moved forward in their chairs. “I’m so thankful. I appreciate your time.”
The men chuckled.
“You are a very eager young man, Jacob,” Gideon said. “Your enthusiasm tells me this is genuine.”
“I agree,” Abner said as he stood. “Jacob, let’s head to Robert Kauffman’s house. I’m eager to set him straight on a few things.”
After thanking Gideon again, Jake and Abner headed out to his truck. Jake’s stomach flip-flopped with a mixture of worry and excitement as they drove to Robert Kauffman’s farm.
23
Katie gnawed her bottom lip and hugged her small suitcase to her chest while riding in the buggy next to Samuel. She’d cried so much her eyes felt dry and void of tears. She’d lost everything in a matter of a few hours — her family, her home, and Jake — everything and everyone that meant the most to her. Now she was alone.
“I’m sorry,” Samuel finally said, breaking the long silence that had hung over them like a black cloud during the trip. “I really think Dat is overreacting, but you know how he gets when he’s angry.”
“Danki,” Katie whispered, her voice weak and exhausted. “But it’s all my fault.”
“No,” Samuel said, frowning. “It’s not your fault you fell in love with Jake. It just happened. God put it in your heart. Mammi always says everything happens in God’s perfect time.”
Katie studied her brother, stunned by his empathy for her situation. “But if this happened in God’s perfect time, it means I’m supposed to lose my family. I never wanted that. I only wanted to date Jake.”
Samuel shook his head. “I don’t understand why you have to go through all of this, Katie. I hate seeing you suffer. I just wish you could be froh like Lizzie Anne a
nd I am.”
“I do too.” Katie gripped her suitcase as the buggy bounced past the bakery. She’d never imagined the bakery would be taken away from her. Gone were her dreams of becoming the best baker and taking over the business from her grandmother. Her heart thudded in her chest as Samuel guided the horse toward her grandparents’ driveway. How would her grandparents react when they heard her father had kicked her out of the house? Would they support her father or listen to Katie when she attempted to explain what had happened?
Samuel brought the buggy to a stop by the back door before facing her. “Do you want me to go in with you?”
Katie shook her head as a lump swelled in her throat. “No, I need to face this alone.” She touched his arm. “Danki for understanding, Samuel. I’m going to miss you.”
Leaning over, Samuel hugged her. “Lizzie Anne and I will come visit you. I promise.”
“I hope you will,” Katie said, sniffing. “I better go. Delaying this won’t lessen the heartache or the punishment.” Hefting her bag onto her shoulder, she climbed out and waved as the buggy disappeared down the driveway.
Katie pulled herself up the back stairs while the weight of the world hunched her shoulders and weighed down her feet. As she reached the top step, the back door flew open and her grandmother studied her. “Hi, Mammi,” she said, wishing she sounded more confident.
“We’ve been expecting you,” her grandmother said, frowning.
“You received mei dat’s message?” Katie asked, stepping into the kitchen.
“Your daadi spoke to him,” Elizabeth said. “He heard the phone ringing in the barn while he was feeding the animals.”
Katie’s stomach growled, and she hugged her arms around her waist.
Elizabeth looked surprised. “Have you eaten?”
Katie shook her head.
“Sit,” Elizabeth said, taking Katie’s cloak and bag. “I have some fresh brot and peanut butter.”
“That sounds appeditlich.” Katie sat at the table, and her stomach gurgled again. “I feel as if I haven’t eaten in a week.”
Elizabeth brought the bread and peanut butter, along with a plate of cookies, to the table. She then grabbed a glass of water and set it in front of Katie before sitting across from her.
After a prayer, Katie began to eat. Although the bread and peanut butter were delicious, the food didn’t ease the hollow feeling in her stomach.
Elizabeth studied Katie for a moment, and Katie wondered what she should say. She knew she couldn’t defend her actions, but the silence was unbearable.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Elizabeth asked.
“I don’t know what else to say.” Katie shook her head. “I’ve lost everything I cared about today — my family, mei heemet, my job at the bakery, my community, and Jake Miller. I’m left with nothing at all. I’m all alone.” Her voice choked on the last words, and she took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry again.
Elizabeth placed her hand over Katie’s. “You haven’t lost me or your daadi.”
Fresh tears filled Katie’s eyes. “Danki,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to do now, Mammi. This isn’t how I expected things to turn out for me. I’m not welcome at mei heemet, and I can’t be with Jake. I never wanted to be shunned. I never wanted to leave the church and become Mennonite like Jake. My heart belongs to this community and the Amish church. But now I’ve lost everything and have to go live with people I’ve never even met. It’s all so unfair.” She stared down at a cookie and crumbled the edge. “Why do we fall in love with someone we know we can’t be with? Why does God put love in our hearts for unattainable people?”
“God gave us free will,” Elizabeth said. “It’s up to us to make the right choices. Sometimes we consider something that may not be a gut choice, but it’s up to us to make the right decision. Do you understand what I mean?”
Katie nodded. “I know it’s up to me to make the right choice, but sometimes I wonder why God would put a wrong choice in front of me when it feels so right.” She shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense. My emotions are all jumbled up. I can’t deny I love Jake, even though I know I can’t be with him.”
Her grandmother reached over and touched her hand again. “I know what you mean, Katie. But you must remember the verse from Matthew, ‘… let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.’ We’re to shine like Jesus as much as we can. Even if in your heart you want to do something that feels right, you shouldn’t do it when you know it’s wrong.”
“But how can love be wrong?” Katie asked. “If Jake loves me, and I love him, why is it wrong?”
“You know the answer to that, Katie. We’ve talked about this before, and I warned you that this could turn out badly.”
Katie blew out a frustrated sigh. “I know.” She studied her grandmother’s kind face. “Have you ever had your heart broken? I mean, before you met Daadi.”
Her grandmother paused and then looked serious. “I did, but you can’t tell anyone if I share the story with you.”
Katie held her hand up. “I won’t tell a soul, Mammi.” She bit off a piece of bread, thankful for the food.
“There was a bu I liked in my district,” her grandmother said with a faraway look in her eye. “His name was Chester. He was a few years older than I was, and he was freinden with my cousins. I liked him and I thought he liked me. We talked at singings, so I was so heartbroken when he started dating mei best freind.” Her expression brightened. “Soon after that I met your daadi, and we began to date. It wasn’t meant to be with Chester, but it did hurt. I cried myself to sleep a few nights.” She squeezed Katie’s hand. “I know it seems like the world is ending and you’ll never find happiness, but trust in God to lead you to your future husband.”
Katie shook her head. “I can’t even think about finding a husband. Right now I need to know how to get my family back.”
“You’ll get your family and your heemet back, Katie,” Elizabeth said with a serious expression. “Just follow your daed’s orders and let him calm down. He’ll realize how much he overreacted. I imagine he won’t even let you get on that bus tomorrow. And you’ll also meet the right bu for you, Katie. I promise you that. I have faith.”
“Sometimes I’m convinced I’ll be alone for the rest of my life,” Katie said. “I’ve never met an Amish bu I wanted to have as a boyfriend, and it’s been difficult watching Lizzie Anne and Samuel and then Lindsay and Matthew.” She felt guilty saying the words, but the truth rang forth from her lips. “I want to find the happiness and love Lizzie Anne and Lindsay have found. And I want to have that happiness with Jake. I feel as if God brought us together.”
“You will find that happiness, but it may not be with Jake.” Elizabeth smiled. “God has wunderbaar gut plans for you. He will guide you, Katie Joy.” She stood. “I think you need some chocolate cake and ice cream instead of those kichlin.” She crossed the room to the refrigerator and rummaged through the freezer. “Everything will be fine. You’ll get your family back, and you will find happiness. I promise you it will happen in God’s perfect time. Ich liebe dich, mei liewe.”
“Danki,” Katie said, her voice hoarse with emotion. “Ich liebe dich too.”
“Katie,” her grandfather said, stepping into the kitchen. “I don’t want to interfere in your conversation with your Mammi, but I want to remind you about something. It’s a scripture verse from John 16 that gives me comfort when I desperately need it. Jesus said, ‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’ “
“Danki, Daadi,” Katie said with a sniff.
“Let’s all have some ice cream and chocolate cake,” Elizabeth said. “Sit at the table, Eli.”
As her grandmother gathered up the desserts, Katie prayed her grandparents’ words would ring true and everything would be all right.
Jake’s heart was lodged in his throat and his hands trembled as he stood in front of Abner
Chupp on Robert Kauffman’s porch. He knocked on the back door and then prayed Robert would listen to him and the bishop and give them a chance to explain all of his misconceptions about him and Katie.
The door opened and Robert glared down at Jake. “Jacob Miller,” he growled. “How dare you come back here again! I warned you to stay off my property.”
“Robert,” Abner said, stepping in front of Jake. “Is that how you treat guests who come to pay you a visit?”
“Bishop. Excuse my rudeness.” With an embarrassed expression, Robert opened the door and gestured for him to come in. “Please come in.”
Jake followed Abner into the kitchen where Sadie sat at the table, wiping tears from her face. He wondered why she’d been crying.
“Bishop,” Sadie said, standing. “What brings you here?”
“Jacob and I have some news,” Abner said. “Tell them, son.”
“I’m going to be baptized into the Amish church,” Jake said, squaring his shoulders. “I want to be with Katie, and I know converting to the Amish faith is the only way she and I can be together. I don’t expect her to leave the church, and I don’t want her to be shunned. She’s suffered enough because of me, and I want to make things right. I’m going to be baptized next spring with Bishop Swartzendruber’s district.”
Robert scowled and shook his head. “You’re too late.”
“What do you mean?” Jake asked, confused.
“Katie’s gone,” Robert said. “I sent her away. Punishing her didn’t work, and her behavior is unbearable. I’m sending her to live with my cousin in western Pennsylvania.”
“You can’t do that!” Jake yelled. “She’s an adult, and she’s entitled to make her own decisions.”
Abner placed his hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Calm down,” he said. “Robert, you need to rethink your decisions. Katie needn’t be sent away.”
“What are you saying?” Robert shook his head. “You told me you saw my Katie hugging this Mennonite bu on a street corner.” He gestured toward Jake. “You warned me she could be shunned if I didn’t get her under control. I tried over and over again to get her to behave like a proper baptized maedel, and she continued to defy me. I had no choice but to send her away.”
