I didn’t exactly know, but I knew I wasn’t going to let Freak run away from me anymore. “You’re in my bed every night. You’re acting like you used to, but I know it’s not the same.”
“Because it’s not the same, Carnie. Someone tried to kill you.”
I took a step toward Freak. “But strangely, I’m not worried about that. I’m worried that when you guys find Bobby, and I know you will, that I’ll never see you again. That I’ll only have a memory of that kiss at the falls and the chance of it happening again will be gone.”
He shook his head. “You don’t get it, Carnie. You’re too young to know what you’re asking for.”
I pressed my hand to my chest. “I don’t know what I’m asking for?” I shook my head. “I know exactly what I’m asking for.”
“You don’t,” he insisted.
“That’s bullshit, Freak. What does my age have anything to do with being with you?”
“Because you have your whole life in front of you, and my life is here. My life is the Fallen Lords.”
I scrunched up my nose. “I know that, Freak. You think I’m going to make you leave the Fallen Lords?” That was ridiculous.
He shook his head. “How are you going to go to culinary school when you’re stuck here in Weston with me?”
“What? Why are you talking about culinary school?” I didn’t even know if that was something I wanted to do, let alone had time to look into it.
“Because you’re amazing at cooking, Carnie. You stay here in Weston, and you’ll be wasting every ounce of potential you have.”
“The only way to use my potential is to go to culinary school? And, if I do choose to go to culinary school, there are so many places and ways to do it.” Like I said, I hadn’t looked into culinary school here, but there had to be a tech school that would have a program I could do. “I love to cook, but that doesn’t mean I have to do it for my job, Freak. You’re saying I have my whole life in front of me, but it sounds like you have my life planned out for me. I’m almost twenty-one, not eleven. I do have a mind and ideas of what I want to do with my life.”
“But it’ll be harder to do those things here.”
Freak wasn’t listening to a word I was saying. “Do you hear me?” I asked.
He nodded. “I hear you, but I don’t think you hear me.”
I laughed cynically. “Oh, I hear you, Freak. You’re trying to run me off even though you want me to stay. You’re afraid if I stay and then we don’t work out that I’ll resent you for making me stay in Weston.” I stepped toward him and loosened the towel. “But I’m going to clue you in on something, Freak. I may be twenty and young, but no one makes me do something I don’t want to do. I can walk out that door right now, and you won’t be able to stop me.”
His eyes widened at the thought of me leaving.
“See, you think you want me gone, but I know that isn’t what you want.” The hand at my chest opened, and the towel pooled at my feet. “You want me right here, just like this is where I want to be.”
“Carnie,” he choked out.
“I’m young, Freak, but I’m not going to be twenty for the rest of my life.” I stepped over the towel, and he didn’t move back. “I want you, and I’m not going to take no for an answer anymore.”
I held my breath, knowing at any second Freak could tell me to put some clothes on and walk out the door.
I waited to see if I had gone too far, or just far enough.
*
Freak
All I had to do was take one step and Carnie would be in my arms.
One step and everything I had been craving and needing would be mine.
I closed my eyes and swallowed. “I need you to know what you’re asking for, Carnie.”
She huffed but didn’t say anything. I know she said she may be young, but she knew what she wanted, but I needed her to understand just exactly what she was going to get with me.
“Once my lips touch your skin, my hands know the feel of your body, and my ears hear the sound of your moans, it’s gonna be hard for me to let you go. I take you now, and you’re gonna be etched into my life forever.”
“Yes,” Carnie breathed out.
I opened my eyes and reached for her hand. “Forever is a long time when you’re only twenty.”
“Or, if you’re me, it doesn’t seem like long enough.”
I shook my head. “This is where I know you’re too young for me, but I’m too selfish to care anymore. I’ve tried to warn you to stay away, but you keep coming back to me.”
“Because this is exactly where I want to be right now.”
She didn't need to say anything more. If this was what she wanted, I wasn’t going to stop it from happening anymore.
Age be damned.
I closed the distance between us with one step. Her lush body was plastered against mine and our hands moved over each other in a frenzy.
She moaned my name, and my hands delved into her hair. She arched her head back, and I pressed kisses over her breasts.
“Freak,” she gasped. “There is one thing I need to tell you.”
I glanced up at her. “You’re a virgin?”
Her hands froze, and her eyes popped open. “Well, yeah. How did you know?” she whispered.
“More like I hoped you were just because I didn’t want Bobby to have had this.”
She shook her head. “It never felt like it was right with him.”
“This is right.” It wasn’t a question. I was over asking her if this was what she wanted. I brushed her hair back from her face.
“I’m kind of a drippy mess,” she laughed.
“By the time I’m done with you, your hair will be more than dry, doll.”
She let out a squeal when I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her into my arms. “Freak!”
I tossed her on the bed and dropped my shorts to the floor.
A knock sounded at the door. “Yo, you guys ready to go?” Slayer called through the door.
Son of a bitch. I had forgot we actually had plans today. “Go away,” I called.
Carnie covered her mouth with her hand and giggled.
“Go away?’ Slayer called. “What the fuck, brother?”
I stalked to the door and swung it open.
“Holy fuck!” Slayer covered his eyes and turned his back to me.
“Ask one of the other guys to go with you.” Now that I had accepted the fact Carnie and were going to happen, nothing was going to stand in my way from enjoying her all day.
“You know what Wrecker said.”
I did know what Wrecker had said, but I didn’t fucking care. “Then we’ll go to the store later.” I slammed the door and turned the lock.
“How much later?” Slayer asked through the door.
“Come back in four hours.”
“Four hours?” Carnie gasped.
I heard Slayer’s chuckle through the door, and he didn’t argue with waiting that long. He got what was about to happen, and I wasn’t going to rush it.
“I can’t believe you just answered the door naked,” Carnie laughed. “What if someone else was with Slayer?”
I shrugged and climbed into bed next to her. “Didn’t think about it, doll. Just wanted to get rid of whoever was on the other side of the door.” My hands glided over her body, taking in the soft feel of her skin and the goosebumps that rose in the wake of my touch.
“So, four hours?” she whispered.
My eyes connected with hers, and I nodded. “If not longer.” I brushed my lips along her collarbone, and a tremor rocked her body.
“Whoa,” she gasped.
“That’s just the beginning.”
Her hands traveled over my back, and I trailed kissed up her neck and behind her ear. “Tell me if I’m doing anything you don’t like,” I whispered in her ear.
I wanted Carnie more than anything in this world, but I also wanted to make her first time the best it could be.
“Liking it all,�
�� she wheezed.
I turned on my side and rested my hand on her thigh. “Just say stop and I will, okay?”
She nodded and leaned up to press a kiss to my lips. “I hear you, Freak, but I need you to keep touching me.”
My lips followed hers, keeping the connection.
My hand glided up her thigh and rested on her sweet pussy. “No one has ever touch you here before?”
She shook her head. “Just me.” Her words were barely a whisper, and her cheeks heated red.
“Not today, but I’m gonna have to see that sometime.”
“Freak,” she gasped.
“Open your legs for me.”
She slowly spread her legs, and my fingers opened the lips of her pussy. “Anything you don’t like, just tell me to stop,” I reminded her.
“Got it,” she gasped.
I kissed her deep and hard, my fingers exploring her but narrowly skating around her clit.
Her body writhed under my touch, and she panted my name.
I hooked my leg over hers and spread her open further.
“More,” she panted against my lips.
She didn’t know what she was asking for, but she knew she needed something.
Even though I had been running from Carnie and this, I knew it was right. Her body yielded to me with one touch, and my body ached to be next to her.
My finger grazed her clit, and if I hadn’t draped my leg over her, Carnie would have levitated off the bed.
“Holy guacamole,” she gasped.
I sputtered at her words and buried my face in her neck.
“Don’t laugh,” she wheezed. “That was the only thing that came to mind.” She bucked her hips and moaned. “Don’t stop.”
My fingers stroked her clit, her body relaxing while her orgasm built.
“Freak,” she gasped.
“It’s okay, baby,” I whispered in her ear.
Her tone was strained, and her hand gripped my arm. “I’m so close.” She dug her heels into the bed and cocked her legs wide. I slipped a finger into her tight pussy while I stroked her clit. “Oh, my God,” she gasped as my finger plunged back in. “Don’t stop.”
Stopping was the last thing on my mind.
“Freak!” she shouted. Her orgasm washed over her, and her nails dug into my arm as she rode it out. Her hips shot off the bed, and a moan ripped from her lips.
If I ever wanted to see Heaven, all I had to do was watch Carnie. I brushed kisses over her breast and sucked the nipple into my mouth.
She sighed lightly and reached up to run her fingers through my hair. “I think I might need a minute.”
I glanced up at her with her nipple still in my mouth. She may think that was what she wanted, but I knew she needed to keep riding the wave of pleasure coursing through her body.
“Later,” I grunted. I moved over her, covering her with my body, and kissed her lips. “You’re ready for me,” I growled against her lips.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me close. “Okay.”
She trusted me fully and gave herself to me without question. What had I done to deserve someone like Carnie?
My hand traveled back down her body and slowly stroked her clit.
“What about you?” she asked.
“We’re getting there, doll.”
She bit her lip. “Can I touch you?” she whispered.
Here I was worried about making Carnie’s first time amazing, and I didn’t think that maybe she wanted more.
I lifted up, and her hand drifted down my body. “It’s so big,” she gasped. Her fingers wrapped around the shaft, and she squeezed lightly.
My breath caught, and it felt like it was the first time being touched. How in the hell did she manage to do that? She stroked my dick slowly, and I closed my eyes to calm my breathing.
Her hand stopped. “Is this okay?” Her tone was concerned, and I opened my eyes.
“Doll, this is more than okay. This is me trying not to come all over your hand and ruin your first time.”
“Oh.”
I bucked my hips and encouraged her to keep going. Carnie had a lot to learn, but she was damn good for her first time.
It only took a few more strokes of her hand before I knew I wasn’t going to be able to take much more. I needed to be buried deep inside her.
I grabbed both of her hands and raised them over her head. “Keep them there,” I ordered.
She nodded.
“You know this might hurt, doll, but I promise, it’ll all be worth it in the end.” I had never taken a virgin before, but I knew I needed to be gentle with her. “Keep your legs cocked open.”
I kneeled between her legs and looked down at her as I stroked my cock. Her arms above her head, hair fanned out on the pillow beneath her, and her body mine for the taking.
“Freak, please.” She bit her lip and bucked her hips. “I need you.”
I reached into the nightstand, grabbed a condom, and quickly rolled it on. I covered her body with mine and slowly pushed inside her. Her pussy was drenched with her wetness, and I easily slid inside, but her breath caught when her body resisted.
“Shh,” I whispered. This was the part that was going to hurt. “Deep breath, doll.”
She breathed in deep, and I pushed in. I felt her body accept me, and she let out a yelp.
My body froze, and I waited for her to breathe again. “Doll?”
She finally took a breath and opened her eyes. “Not what I expected.”
A smile spread across my lips. “No clue what to say right now.”
“Don’t talk, just move.”
My eyes connected with hers, and she nodded. “You’re sure?” I asked. I didn’t want her to be in any more pain than she was.
“Move, Freak,” she insisted.
I slowly pulled back, and she closed her eyes.
“Slow,” she whispered.
I pushed back in, and a moan escaped her lips.
“Good?”
She bucked her hips up to me as I pulled out. “Definitely.”
With each thrust, I became more confident. She moaned, and she wrapped her arms around my neck.
“Faster,” she panted.
I reached between us and pressed a finger to her clit. I plunged into her, and my name ripped from her lips.
Her tight pussy was like a vise on my dick, and each time I pulled out and plunged back in, I knew I was close to coming.
“Freak, Freak,” she panted. “This feels so good.” Her hips rocked beneath me, and she arched her back.
My fingers rolled her clit, and she shouted my name. Her pussy clamped down on me, and I thrust one last time ‘til I exploded. Her moans and gasping surrounded me as she came for the second time.
“Carnie,” I groaned. Her pussy milked my cock, and I collapsed on top of her.
Our breathing was the only sound in the room. My body was like Jell-O, and I had never been more satisfied.
I rolled off of her and gathered her in my arms.
She draped her arm over me and rested her head on my chest. “I now understand why people like that so much.”
My body shook with laughter, and I tipped her head back to look at her. “So the pain was worth it?”
“What pain?” she asked coyly. She brushed her fingers over my cheek. “It was only for a second.”
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
She nodded. “Never better.” She snuggled into me and sighed.
I ran my fingers through her hair, and her breathing evened out as she fell asleep.
Why had I been resisting this?
No matter what happened in the future, you could bet your ass that nothing was going to come between Carnie and me.
Age. Jobs. Bobby.
All of that could be worked out in time.
Hopefully, everything would work out in the end.
It had to.
*
Chapter Sixteen
Carnie
“What are you
doing?”
I looked up from the picture I was taking. “Uh, taking a picture?”
Alice leaned against the kitchen counter and rubbed her stomach. “Of a piece of cake?” she laughed.
I snapped one more photo from a different angle. “Yeah.”
“You gonna tell me why and also, give me a piece of cake?”
I grabbed the plate I had just taken a picture of and handed it to her. “Here you go, and I thought I might start a food blog.” I was constantly scrolling through Pinterest and the internet looking at what other people were making and thought why couldn’t I show what I was making? “The only thing I’m going to do different is not make people scroll all the way to the bottom of my post to get the recipe while I tell some funny stories about cake and the Pope.”
Alice grabbed a fork and pointed it at me. “You had me until you mentioned the Pope.”
I waved my hand and covered up the leftover cake. I had only sliced one piece just so I could get a picture of it. “That’s just an example. All of those food blogs share recipes, but they also have some funny or meaningful story before that.”
“Kind of like a hook,” Alice mumbled around a mouthful.
I nodded. “Exactly.” I scrolled through the photos on my phone. “So, now that I have my first recipe I want to share, I kind of need a name for my blog.”
“Is that cake?” Cora shouted from the couch.
“Yea, but you can only have some if you come help name Carnie’s food blog.” Alice took a bite and moaned. “It’s super good.”
Cora jumped up from the couch and skidded into the kitchen. “Carnie Feeds the Clubhouse. Carnie and the Bikers. Becoming a Chef Biker Chick. Hold on for one more bite with Carnie.”
“What?” Alice laughed. “You were doing good until that last one.”
Cora grabbed the fork from Alice and took a huge bite. “It’s a play on the fact that Carnie and Wendy are named after chicks in Wilson Phillips.”
I didn’t know how Cora knew that. Wendy and I were embarrassed by the fact Mom had named us after one of her favorite groups. “How did you know that?”
“Your mom mentioned it the first night they were here. Then she broke out into song. I have to say, she does a pretty spot-on impersonation of Carnie Wilson.” Cora took another bite and handed Alice back her fork. “Your cake is the bomb, by the way. You should totally talk to Raven about branding for the blog once you settle on a name.” Cora walked back to the couch and plopped down.
Fallen Lords MC: Books 7-9 Page 11
