She collapsed on top of him, her breathing as erratic as his. But it felt so right. It felt as if it was always supposed to be. With him. She was meant for him. She knew the ancients had set the path of her life to meet him. To fall in love with him, because she had.
He pulled her into the crook of his arm, taking the small blanket that lay on the end table to cover their bodies. “Maybe it’s a good thing that you don’t fall unconscious after sex,” she said, turning her head to look up at him. “I like this. Laying with you. There’s something different about us. About this time. Do you feel it?”
“Love,” he said, kissing along her hairline.
“Yes,” she said. “Making love.” She was quiet for a moment, lost in her own thoughts. “I’m sorry for how mean I was to you when we met.”
“Nothing to forgive. You’re mine now.”
She giggled, gazing at him and nodding. “Yeah, I am, and you’re mine.”
“So, do you know what I’m thinking right now?”
“No. I can’t read your thoughts. I never could. Kinsbithu said that it’s because we were always meant to be. She says that we were connected to each other before we knew who we were. Maybe we were. I know I believe in the ancients, but for that to be the reason I can’t read you or suggest to you? Maybe.”
“It may be something else. Shahneeris knows how to read signs. Symbols, like my tattoos. My lineage tattoos. She thinks my mother may have Mocmoran vaedra in her blood.”
“Well,” she said with raised eyebrows, “that might be the reason.”
“It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to read my thoughts to know what I’m thinking, Eielawyn.”
She shook her head, as she nestled herself warmly into his large arms, laying her head on his shoulder. “No, I don’t.”
She was happy to stay with him in the tiny bed, up in the small apartment above her shop. She could stay secure and in love in his arms knowing that he would always be hers. But the sound of a man’s frantic voice pulled them both out of their love high. She recognized Laeros’ voice. In the next instant, she heard him walking up the stairs.
“Um…we better get up and dressed before Laeros walks in to find us naked,” she said.
Raenos pulled her close, kissing her deeply. “So, let him.”
As much as she loved being in bed with him, and what he was so expertly doing to her mouth, the last thing she wanted was Laeros walking in on them. “No, let’s not let him. Come on.” She stood and quickly dressed, as Raenos did the same.
“Eielawyn, are you up here someplace?” Laeros yelled out.
She wasn’t ashamed to walk out of the bedroom with Raenos, but Raenos seemed a little quiet. She smiled at him, taking his hand in hers, as they walked out of the room to see Laeros beginning to walk back down the stairs.
“I’m here,” she said.
The expression on Laeros’ face spoke volumes. His eyes were wide, as he stared at them and then over at the bedroom door. “Oh…um…right. How long have you two…?”
“For a short while, Laeros,” she said, glancing up at Raenos, as he smiled down at her. “I tried to fight it—”
“We both did,” Raenos interrupted.
“Well, good,” Laeros said. “This—this is good. Are you all right, Eielawyn?”
“What?” Eielawyn looked at him curiously, but then comprehension flared in her head. “Oh, yeah. You had to leave that night. He’s asking me about the other night,” she said to Raenos. “With Zhoardaeash.”
“You were worried about her?” Raenos asked questioningly. “I didn’t think you knew each other.”
She felt it then in her gut. That feeling of trepidation. That feeling that told her everything was about to go wrong. And as she looked at Raenos, his gazed squarely centered on her, she thought to lie to him. She and Laeros were just old friends. They knew each other from a chance meeting years ago. She thought to not tell him that Laeros was the man that she willingly gave her virginity to in a brothel. She centered her aura on Laeros. Please don’t say anything to him, Eielawyn. If you can read my thoughts, I don’t think Raenos will understand, he thought. She smiled sweetly at him with a slight shake of her head.
She took a deep breath. She couldn’t lie to him. She loved him, and hopefully, that love was enough for him also. “I know Laeros from five years ago. He helped me come to Yaesdrah.”
Raenos frowned at her, nodding at first, but then he turned his attention to Laeros. “You gave her money to come here? Good. It was the registration, wasn’t it?” he asked Eielawyn. “You were escaping Mocmoran because of the registration?”
Another deep breath. Lies had a way of coming back to ruin your life. She loved him. He either understood and accepted her past, or he didn’t. But it would all come out sooner or later.
“In a way,” she said glancing at Laeros. “Five years ago, I was in a brothel. I’d left Mocmoran for the registration, but I ended up stranded in Zinvia. If Gaeldos’ guards caught me, I would’ve been sent to the palace to end up as one of his sexual concubines. I needed the money, so I thought if I was going to have to whore myself, it would be on my own terms.”
“I didn’t want her first time to be with a man that didn’t care about her pleasure, or about how he treated her,” Laeros said. “I was going to just give her the money, but she wouldn’t take it without…um…without—”
“Sex,” interrupted Raenos.
Eielawyn saw his jaw tighten. “Yes, Raenos. I had sex with Laeros five years ago,” she said, emphasizing the last few words.
His expression had changed, as he stared back at her. “Yes. In a brothel.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” she said incredulously. “You’re angry with me because of the choice I made five years ago?”
“I’m going to go and let you two—” Laeros began to say.
“No!” Eielawyn said to him. “You don’t have to leave.” She turned to Raenos, glaring at him. “So, why don’t you tell me that you’ve never slept with any other woman? Can you? Can you tell me that you’ve never been to a brothel? What I chose to do for my survival five years ago, is just that. My choice!”
Raenos took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I know that. Can I have a moment to absorb all of this?”
“No!” she said to him angrily. “No, because there’s nothing you have to absorb. I didn’t know you then. I wasn’t in love with you then. And what I did back then had nothing to do with you. So get the fuck over it.”
Raenos swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m not saying I won’t get over it, Eielawyn. But you can’t dump all of this on me and expect me to be okay with you fucking a friend of mine. And on that note, you knew who he was on the beach that day.”
“Yeah, I did,” she said. “Again, not something I wanted to tell you, especially seeing that you’re a royal guard, and I didn’t know why Laeros was in town.”
“Why are you still in town?” Raenos asked Laeros.
Laeros stared intensely at Eielawyn. Eielawyn focused her aura on him to read his thoughts. He’s like a brother to me, but he’s also a royal guard. I’m not sure we can trust him, Laeros thought.
“We can trust him,” she said out loud. She turned to look at Raenos. “Did you mean what you said earlier? Did you mean it about asking for sanctuary in Yaeltaran and helping us?”
“Eielawyn,” Laeros protested again out loud. “Do you know what you’re doing?”
She turned her attention from Raenos to stare at Laeros. “It’s fine. He wants to leave the guard. That’s what you told me, isn’t it?” she said, looking back to Raenos.
Raenos nodded to Laeros. “I do want to leave the guard. It’s something that I’ve thought about for some time, but you know as well as I do that once I make that decision there’s no going back. There will be a price on my head. Balaedras will definitely want me dead.”
“He wants to help us, Laeros,” she said with her eyes still fixed on Raenos. “Right?”
“Eielawyn, I d
on’t think that’s something we should talk about—” Laeros began to say.
“You don’t trust me,” Raenos said to him.
Laeros narrowed his gaze at Eielawyn. “What we’re doing is important, Eielawyn. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t. It’s dangerous. It’s dangerous because if the guard were to know about Filkothinor…he’s the reason there’s a rebellion. He’s the one that led the people in Drisa to hold Daenisnae against the guard. He was the one that—” He glanced at Raenos, squared his shoulders, and continued. “—led the people to procure weapons, food, and much-needed medicine way before the other kingdoms started to back the rebellion. He has to be protected so that he can give the rebellion hope. The rebellion and those that fought and died for the rebellion need Filkothinor, and I won’t endanger his life with a hope that you’ll leave the guard, Raenos,” he said, focusing his glare on Raenos.
“You won’t. I swear to you, you won’t,” Raenos said. “But I also have to make it seem to the guard that I’m still with the guard. Just tell me what I can do.”
Eielawyn shared a look with Laeros. They both nodded. “Okay,” she said. “Then we need to talk. And, I also won’t have you still pissed because of my history with Laeros, or pissed with him.”
“I said I needed some time,” Raenos said, as they walked down the steps to the store room.”
“Your time is up,” she said. “Get the fuck over it.”
At the bottom of the stairs he suddenly took hold of her hand, turning her to face him. “I will,” he said, gazing so intently into her eyes, she felt a tingling down her spine. “I will come to terms with the jealousy I feel about another man touching you, because I know it’s irrational. You didn’t know I existed, and I didn’t know you existed. But I know now. I’m yours now, Eielawyn. And you are mine. So, I will get the fuck over it. In time. But allow me a moment to feel the seething jealousy I feel because another man gave you the pleasure I only want to give to you. Because from this moment on, it will only be me.”
A small sigh escaped her lips, as she swallowed hard. She nodded to him. “Okay,” she whispered, as they walked over to join Laeros at the back of the store room to discuss their next step to take with Filkothinor.
Chapter Eleven
Balaedras knew she had power. She had respect, if only through the intimidation she used. Respect was respect. It was all coming together for her. She knew that soon she would have all of Ai. But even as she lay still on the bed, she knew that the man lying beside her was only there because she’d ordered him to be. He’d fucked her. She’d had something akin to an orgasm, but nothing like she knew it could be with someone she loved and that loved her. It was that one thing that was missing in her life.
She’d never loved Gaeldos. It was a marriage of convenience. Her father wanted a position in Gaeldos’ court. Gaeldos wanted her father’s land—rich orzin-filled land—and she’d wanted to be the queen. And love. She’d hoped for love. It hadn’t come with the deal. She’d taken a lover, but even Minaeahs hadn’t loved her. Not really. He pleasured her, sure. But true love was something she’d always wanted, but never had.
The man beside her shifted in his sleep. She’d already begun to resent his presence. Not enough to have him killed, as she’d done with previous lovers. Yet.
She kicked him roughly with her foot, making him suddenly sit up in the bed. “Leave, Gilbahdahs.”
“Milady,” he said, as he got out of the bed, picked up his clothes, and walked naked out the door. He knew that when she said get out, she meant get the fuck out.
She lay thinking about the one man that gave her that feeling Minaeahs had given to her so many years ago. The one man that sent her stomach into girlish fits, and her imagination reeling with passionate nights together and soft-spoken words of love. Raenos. It had been Raenos since before she’d killed Gaeldos. And she knew that once she had him in her bed, love would come. He would fall in love with her. She had so much to offer any man. Power, respect, security. Well, maybe not security so much. She would admit to letting her anger get the best of her. She would admit to letting that anger consume her until she killed one, two, three, maybe six lovers. She was working on controlling that.
At fifty-two, she thought she looked amazing. Her skin was unwrinkled, thanks to advanced medical technology and skilled physicians. Her body was remarkable. Again, thanks to those same physicians. She had her hair styled in the most intricate patterns a stylist could design. Her long, one-inch nails were always painted to an artistic level.
“I’m a fuckin’ catch,” she said to herself.
But she didn’t have love. The tears began to well in her eyes, and for a second she didn’t know what was wrong. She hadn’t cried with emotion in years. But her resolve was strong. She wouldn’t let emotion overwhelm her common sense. Raenos would be hers. He would love her. He would desire her. He would. She would command him to do so.
* * * *
Eielawyn strolled through the stalls of the market. It was late for a market day. But she hated going when all of the crowds were picking through the little produce available now. She didn’t mind if she didn’t get the best tomatoes, or if her fruit was somewhat bruised. At least she didn’t have to bicker and bargain over everything that everyone else was bickering and bargaining over. Besides, with a smaller crowd, it was entertaining to hear the thoughts of those there. The man behind one of the vegetable stalls was thinking about how the young woman’s ass standing to the right would feel in comparison to his wife’s. He only smiled nicely to the woman and gazed at her ass when she turned around to leave. An older woman was thinking about how much she missed her grandchildren in Daenisnae. She looked through the bin of apples hoping her grandchildren were safe and praying to the goddesses to see them again. It broke Eielawyn’s heart, but she continued to read people’s thoughts.
There was a young man standing near a cart full of corn contemplating if anyone would notice if he stole four ears. He quickly decided against stealing the corn, as two royal guards walked toward him. It was a good decision. She focused her thoughts on the two guards. One was thinking about his home in Mosmaedor. Thinking about how much he missed his mother’s corn stew. The other was thinking about whether or not he should get some fruit to eat while they swept the caves that evening. He wanted to get back to the two units preparing for the sweep, so they could finish and be done with it. Eielawyn’s heart began to pound in her chest, as she quickly made her way from the market. She began to run toward the beach, knowing that Raenos was on patrol, planning to stop by her place afterward.
She knew what she looked like, as she ran full out down the street. She didn’t care. The guards were going to sweep the caves. When exactly it would happen she wasn’t sure. But if what the guard was thinking was true, Kinsbithu and Filkothinor were about to be found by the guards in less than three hours. And unless she could contact Kinsbithu, she would have no idea what was about to happen. She took the portable TCD from her dress pocket, put it into her ear, but couldn’t pick up Kinsbithu’s wave. “Come on, come on,” she pleaded, even as she ran, but Kinsbithu’s contact wave remained dead.
She only wished she had Raenos’ TCD wave to contact him. They needed to move. The plans they’d so meticulously crafted in her store three days before were now thrown into the metaphorical incendiary. The shit had hit the fuckin’ fan.
She didn’t know where to look for them at first. She then saw Laeros’ and Raenos’ figures on the beach in the distance with two other guard figures. She was out of breath, stopping only long enough to try to calm herself before approaching them. The closer she got to them, the more anxiety filled her. Raenos seemed to feel her presence, turning to look at her, as she took off her shoes to walk through the sand.
“I’ll be sure to tell my mother of your good wishes for her birthday, Ainomaer, daughter of Honiah,” Laeros was saying to the guard in front of him.
The two female guards bowed low to Laeros before leaving them, walking back to
the transport left by the road beyond the dunes. Laeros turned smiling at her, as he waved to the guards, waiting for them to get into their transport to leave the beach.
“Wait,” he said to Eielawyn. “Let’s make sure they’re truly gone.”
Eielawyn was smiling along with Raenos, kicking at the sand absentmindedly and as casually as she could. Once Laeros seemed to be satisfied that the guards had left, he turned to look at Eielawyn with concern.
“We have to move. Now!” she said nervously.
Raenos put his arm around her shoulders. “Tell us what’s happened.”
She took a deep breath, letting it out through her nostrils slowly. It seemed to help. “I was in the market, and…I…I like to read people’s thoughts when I’m bored. There were two guards there, and one of them was thinking about the sweep they’re doing of the caves this evening. Kinsbithu went to check on Filkothinor in the cave. We don’t have much time. As I was running like a freakin’ crazy woman over here, I saw several sea transports being moved to the port. We have to go now, or they’ll find both of them.”
“Shit,” said Raenos. “How could they get the order to sweep the caves? I haven’t heard anything.”
“That doesn’t sound good, Raenos,” Laeros said. “Either Balaedras is excluding you deliberately, or the guards are working on their own. But it doesn’t matter how. What’s the plan?”
“The guards are sweeping all of the caves tonight. Two units,” Eielawyn said, as she stared at both Laeros and Raenos with the fear she felt in her heart. “Kinsbithu knows nothing. I tried contacting her, but it’s the caves. TCD waves get scrambled. But even if I could contact her, there’s no time. There moving the sea transports now.”
Eielawyn [The Maidens of Mocmoran 3] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 12
