by Cary Hart
Niki
Him. He is all I need to be happy. My best friend, my soulmate, Gavin Shaw is everything to me.
Since the day I walked into Spotlight, seeking a summer job, he made sure I was always taken care of. Then a head bartender, he worked his way up to club manager, making an impression on the owner, Ford Phillips, as well as the rest of the staff. There is no one who dislikes that man.
Kind, smart, funny, and loyal to a fault, Gavin is every girl’s dream. Something I try to not think about. Jealousy doesn’t look good on me.
I’ve thought about crossing that line multiple times. Actually, there was a night that we both had a few too many drinks, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I wanted to kiss him, take things farther to see how he felt against me, his touch searing my skin. But as quickly as it started, I had to go and fuck it up by laughing. Who does that? Me.
He felt too good, but in that moment, I feared the worst. What if I was just another piece of ass? What if it ruined our friendship? Gavin wasn’t only my co-worker; he became my best friend, outside of Aubrey. I needed him. So, I played the “What are we doing? We are so drunk” card and laughed it off as being a mistake.
Mistake.
Gavin would never be a mistake. Mentally, I willed him to tell me I was wrong, but he just got up without saying a word, grabbed my hand and led us to the bedroom. I thought maybe, just maybe, this was going to happen, but instead, he handed me a bottled water that was on his nightstand and threw me a T-shirt and sweats.
We hydrated, changed, and instead of having the wild and crazy sex I had dreamed about, he held me in his arms, and we slept.
Pushing feelings aside, I accepted our relationship for what it is. Friendship.
“Hey kid? You expecting someone?” Gavin comes up behind me, whispering in my ear.
“Seriously, you have to stop doing that.” I turn, ready to smack him. Gavin takes a step back, avoiding the contact.
“The suit over there is watching you.” He nods toward the end of the bar. “You expecting him?”
Following his gaze, I see that it’s him, Aiden. He had sent me a text saying he was back in town. I ignored it.
“I’ll handle it.”
Everything about Aiden is calculated. He is here for a reason, and the sooner I find out why, the quicker he can be on his way out. Grabbing a glass and a bottle of scotch, I head for the end of the bar, toward the only other man who has knocked me off my feet.
Setting the glass down, I fill it with two fingers of the scotch, set the bottle down and go for it. “Why are you here?”
Not breaking eye contact, he says, “Have you thought about my proposition?”
“Seriously? If that is why you came in here, you are wasting your time.” I begin to walk away.
“Fifty thousand.”
“What did you say?” I stop in my tracks back to Aiden, eyes on Gavin.
“Fifty thousand for the summer.”
Closing my eyes, shutting myself off from the world, from Gavin, I turn around to find out his motive.
“Fifty thousand for the summer? To work for you?” I’m now directly in front of him. “What is this? Some kind of indecent proposal?”
“No, it’s a job offer. One where I pay you for your services.” He leans forward, a hint of scotch on his breath. “As much as I would love to show you all the ways I could service you, I never mix business and pleasure. This job offer is exactly that, a job offer.” He picks up his glass and downs the rest of his scotch.
“What’s the catch then? Why the fifty thousand dollars?” I begin to fidget, wiping the counters, bouncing from foot to foot.
“No catch. Niki, you will be working for me around the clock. If I need something, you get it. You will pick up my dry cleaning, fetch my coffee, send out press releases, and accompany me to events. You will be tied to me twenty-four seven.”
“Well, when you put it like that, I’m thinking fifty thousand may not be enough.” I let out an awkward laugh.
“It’s around thirty an hour.” His eyes challenge me.
“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it. That is a lot of money to say no to.”
“No can do. Stewart will pick you up at five a.m. You will need to pack just casual clothes for the next three weeks.”
“Three weeks? And why only casual, I thought you said—”
“I will provide your wardrobe,” he interrupts.
“I don’t know…”
“This offer only lasts another hour, Niki.” He throws a hundred on the counter. “You have my number.” Aiden gets up and talks to the patrons as he makes his way to the door. He looks back at me before he pushes through to the night.
Ugh!
Fifty thousand dollar could definitely help me. This past week, my sister called and said she fell down the stairs, breaking her foot, and needed surgery. She has no insurance and just took the remainder of her savings to pay for online college courses she has secretly been taking.
Her boyfriend thought going back to school for interior design was an idiotic choice. His words, not mine. She asked to borrow a few thousand to pay on the hospital bill so he wouldn’t notice. Honestly, I wish she would leave him. Nothing good will ever come from that relationship.
So, with that on top of my own school loans and then my car needing a new alternator, the fifty thousand is looking pretty good. The only thing stopping me…Gavin. If I took the job, I would have to quit Spotlight, which puts them in a bind.
Is that the only reason?
“Niki?” Gavin is beside me. “You okay?”
“I need to make a call.”
“Fine, make it quick. The crowd is starting to come in.” His smile is weak. I know he knows something is wrong, but I can’t. Not now.
I run to the back, grab my cell from my locker and call Kara, a new hire at the school this past year, fresh out of college. If I recall correctly, she mentioned she used to bartend to put herself through school.
“Hello?” Kara yawns.
“Kara, it’s Niki Sanders. I know you are probably wondering why I’m calling, but I have a proposition for you, and I need you to say yes. So what do you say?” I blurt out.
“Well, I’m not opposed, but how about you tell me a little about it?” She laughs at my craziness.
I spend the next few minutes filling her in, and Kara quickly agrees, thanking me for giving her the opportunity.
Looking at my watch, I feel the pressure of the time running down. Now what? I need to pack and get things in order at the apartment. I’ll work until almost close and try to get someone to come in to cover me the rest of the night.
I have no choice but to text Chloe. She called in, but if she isn’t really sick, she can come in, and Cindy can help Gavin with the bar and closing.
I hate to do it, but it’s my last option.
Me: Hey, it’s Niki, I need a huge favor from you.
Chloe: I’m sick cough cough snot nose emoji
Me: Like as in really sick or sick as in something better came up?
Chloe: Who’s asking?
Me: I am. I need to leave in a few hours and we are already short-handed. Gavin is working behind the bar.
Chloe: Oh really? Gavin is working the bar?
I know what she’s getting at. That girl has it bad. If it isn’t Gavin, she is falling all over then it’s Jake. In this moment, I hate what I’m about to do. A total dick move.
Me: Maybe if you come in and save the day when I leave, Gavin may think about training you behind the bar. Where all the tips are.
Chloe: You think?
Me: Don’t you think it’s worth a try? And seriously. Gavin and Jake both are here tonight.
Chloe: dreamy eyes
I’m a dick. Unicorn piss can’t even glitter this shit up. I’m a dick.
Me: IKR?!?! winky face kissy face
I’m being so sweet, it’s actually hurting my teeth. Again…dick. That’s me.
Chloe: Give me a couple hours
and I’ll come strolling in. Just one favor.
Me: Anything.
Chloe: Don’t let on that I’m coming in.
Shit! I kinda said that, didn’t I? Why did I even give her the idea? Gavin is going to hate me.
Me: Fine. Be here by ten.
Chloe: Coolio. See you soon.
“Niki, you better get out there. Jake and Gavin are running the bar. The place is starting to get packed.” Cindy comes running by, grabbing a tub of silverware.
“I’m coming,” I holler back.
Quickly, I unlock my phone and type out a quick text, one I didn’t want to send.
Or did I?
Me: I accept the offer.
Powering down to save battery, I slide it in my back pocket and head to face Gavin.
“Where in the hell have you been?” Jake’s voice is sharp and demanding.
“I’m sorry Jake; I had to take care of something,” I reply. I take my place beside Gavin and start taking orders.
An hour passes, and the crowd starts to die down as everyone makes their way down to the dance floor to see who is on the list for Open Mic Night, giving us a moment to catch our breath and for me to get Gavin to talk to me.
“I’m sorry Gavin. I didn’t mean to leave you stranded like that.” I lean my back on the counter while he changes a keg.
“Cut the shit. Everything was fine ’til the suit came in. Just tell me what’s going on because this…the way you reacted is not you.” His eyes refuse to meet mine.
In a moment like this, I should do the right thing. Explain the situation. Tell him the offer, tell him about my sister and my stack of bills that keep piling up, but in typical Niki fashion, I push away. I know I do it; I just don’t know how to stop it.
“What in the hell is that supposed to mean, Shaw? What exactly isn’t me since you know me so well?” I slam the towel down.
“Not here, Niki. Tonight. We will talk tonight.”
Crap. I was supposed to go over there and tell him everything that has been going on.
“I can’t come over. Something’s come up.” My voice cracks.
“What?” Gavin rises, finally looking at me for the first time in an hour.
“Aiden, the suit, came in and offered me a job for the summer, and it’s too good to pass up.” I try to gauge his reaction, but his face is void of emotion. “Gav, tonight is my last night for the summer.”
“Okay…let me get this straight. You have a summer job that pays you two thousand a week with tips and you want to quit for some summer internship?”
“Not exactly. Gav, I’ll be making fifty thousand for the summer.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Gavin spins around, hands in his hair. “He wants to sleep with you, Niki. He is basically paying you to sleep with him. I thought you were fucking smarter than this.” He’s in front of me, arms caging me in. “This isn’t ‘Pretty Woman,’ kid. You aren’t Julia Roberts, and Richard Gere isn’t going to ride in on a white limo. You are getting played, sweetheart.”
Oh no he didn’t.
“First, I’m not your sweetheart, and second, I’m fully aware this isn’t a fairytale, Gav. So stop being a douche, and listen to me.” I push his arms away, breaking free from this pull he has on me.
“Actually, I can’t stand the sight of you right now. If you are going to leave us high and dry for the summer, just leave now. We will figure it out without you.”
“Gavin, you can’t be serious,” I plead.
I’m sorry.
“I’m dead serious.”
Our eyes are in a stand-off, and if looks could kill, I would already be dead.
“If that’s the way you want it.” I walk past him, nudging his arm with my shoulder.
I head to the break-room and grab my things, fighting back the tears.
Don’t you dare cry.
Heading back out front, I ignore the eyes that are on me.
“Thanks for nothing.” Gavin hollers after me.
I have nothing. If I turn around, I may say things I’ll regret. So instead, I throw my bag over my should and flip him the bird before I walk out, passing Chloe as she walks in hollering, “Guess who made a miraculous recovery!”
Walking into the night, I head toward my car, but it’s not there.
Fuck me. It’s in the shop getting fixed. Pulling out my phone, I bring it to life and call for an Uber.
I did this. I pushed away and betrayed the one person who could make this all better. The only person I have ever needed.
I’m sorry Gavin.
Niki
I’ve been here before: alone and, if I’m being honest, afraid. I’m the strong one, the one who takes on the world and fights everyone’s battles but my own. Instead, I risk my sanity, just trying to stay afloat.
I’m slowly cracking, pieces breaking off one at a time, never missed. Adapt…that is what I do, but what happens when there is nothing else to lose? Nothing more to break, the shell of who you were, gone?
What then?
I really should get a grip. I have five more hours until Stewie will be here. Maybe the wine wasn’t the best idea. Especially mixed with tears.
Suitcases line the floor. Clothes and makeup in one and shoes in the other. For such a simple girl, I’m an extremely complicated one. A real-life walking, talking contradiction.
I thought about calling Aubrey to come over, but with everything that has been going on in her world, it didn’t feel right. It’s her night with Reece, and if I would have called, she would have had to have someone watch her. Then Doug would have gotten pissed off. Just wasn’t worth it.
My go-to. The one who just knew when something was wrong. Who knew how to fix it before I let myself spiral out of control.
Gavin.
“Damn you Gavin!” I scream at the top of my lungs.
“Niki?” His voice is a gentle whisper.
“Gavin!” I hop up. “How?” I look over to the clock and see that Spotlight is still open for another hour.
“Well, I have this little thing called a key. I just let myself in when you didn’t answer the door.” A sad smile creeps over his face.
“Not that. Spotlight?”
“There were a few concerts in the city. After Open Mic Night was over, the crowd died down. With Chloe coming in, we had it covered. Jake was on top of it.” He stands there unsure of what else to say. Hands in his pockets, he just nods.
“Gavin?” I shake my head and the tears start to fall…again.
Fuck tears!
Not caring if he’s still mad or not I run over and climb the wall that is Gavin Shaw. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shhhh.” He holds me close, his hands roam my back, rubbing, calming.
“Does this feel like déjà vu to you?” I close my eyes, the feeling of having him near satisfying my soul.
“Kid, are you ready to tell me what’s going on with you?” He carries me over to the bed. Patting my butt, he says, “Lie down.” Falling back onto the bed, I roll around, the crisp sheets cooling my skin. “Are you going to go to sleep or move over so I can join you?”
I do my best to scoot over, and he climbs in, rolling me over so we are face to face. This is us. It’s how we communicate after a bad day. Sometimes the nights are silent, sometimes filled with sleep, but most of the time, sleepless nights from hours of conversation.
“Gav…” The smell of scotch surrounds us. No. “…you stink.”
“I what?” He looks confused. “Is it my breath? I popped a mint.” He covers his mouth, double-checking.
“Noooo, you smell like scotch. Have you been drinking?” I lean over to smell his breath and notice it’s coming from his shirt.
“Chloe thought she would be extra helpful tonight and picked up a tray of drinks for a table.”
“This isn’t going to end well, is it?” I tease.
Shaking his head, he continues. “I told her not to, but she turned around to smile and didn’t realize I was right behind her, and the tray
of scotch and shots ended up on my shirt instead of on the table.”
“Oh Lord, let me guess…she apologized profusely while her hands were roaming your body with extra napkins, trying to dry you off?
“Something like that.” He pulls his shirt up to gauge the stench. “Is it bothering you that bad?”
“Can you just take it off?” I reach for the hem, my fingers grazing it before he takes it from me, sits up and takes it the rest of the way off.
I’ve seen Gavin shirtless plenty of times, but tonight, he’s really shirtless. Maybe it’s just my emotions flying high or the fight we had, but the sight of him, like this, brings a familiar feeling to the surface that I have been trying to push back down. “Th-That’s better.” I stutter. “Now, you smell like my Gav.” I snuggle in close.
“Kid, this feels too good. How about you talk to me.”
Too good? Is he feeling what I’m feeling?
“If you don’t get to talking, we both are going to fall asleep without any resolve.” He pinches my side.
“Ouch!”
“Payback for earlier. Now tell me…what’s going on?” He lays his hand on the wounded area and rubs out the sting.
“So, much has gone on in the past two weeks that I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Just answer me this. Did he hurt you?”
“Who?”
“The suit.”
“Oh! Aiden? No, he didn’t hurt me. Pissed me off a few times…” My thoughts wonder off to the night I met him for dinner.
“Earth to Niki. You there?” He snaps his fingers in front of my face.
“Well, the day after I met him for dinner, my car broke down. Come to find out I need a new alternator.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped fix it.”
Which he would have. He grew up working on classic cars with his mechanic father.
“I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Seriously? What on earth could I be doing that you didn’t want to bother me for a ride or better yet, to fix your car so you didn’t have to pay for the repairs?”
“Actually, I did call, but Jessica answered and said you were tied up at the moment and you would call me back in a few. You never did.” I remember the jealousy I felt when his ex-girlfriend answered.
