by Jae
Eliza shook her head energetically. "All these years you've been so supportive of us; now let us support you for a change."
Dawn sighed, but there was a smile on her lips. "Guess I can't stop you, huh?"
"No, you can't." Eliza hugged Dawn again and took her son from her.
Aiden watched as Dawn got hugs and kisses from her niece. To her surprise the girl turned and hugged her, too, before she followed her mother out the door.
"Friendly girl, your niece," Aiden commented to Dawn when they were alone.
"Yes, she is." Dawn smiled. She walked to the door and locked it. "If she likes you, that is. She can be a little devil if she can't stand someone, though. I think Maggie would rather wrestle a cobra than stay in a room with Jamie ever again."
Aiden remembered Dawn had told her that her ex didn't really like children. Sounds like the whole family knew her ex-girlfriend. Aiden wondered how her own mother would have reacted if she had ever brought a woman home with her. She studied Dawn. "Are you okay after that flashback?"
"I'm all right now," Dawn said without hesitation.
"Really?" Aiden didn't want to be one of the people for whom Dawn had to put up a strong front.
Dawn squeezed Aiden's arm for a moment. "Yes, really." This time, she looked her in the eyes, and Aiden believed her. "Sometimes, I'm pretty out of it for hours or even days afterward, but being with somebody always helps me to orient myself to the here and now quickly."
"You have those flashbacks often?" Aiden asked in concern.
"No, not often, but sometimes. Mostly when I'm under a lot of stress and a situation reminds me of that night. Today, it was trying to hide, half-trapped under the covers. Suddenly, I was back in my old apartment, with him." Dawn closed her eyes as she remembered, her breath once again becoming fast and shaky.
Aiden covered Dawn's hand with her own for a moment, rubbing her thumb over the clammy fingers. "You're not," she said softly. "You're here." With me.
Dawn opened her eyes and looked directly into Aiden's own.
Uncomfortably, Aiden cleared her throat and looked away. "I came by to bring you a copy of your formal statement. Kade Matheson wants you to read through it and refresh your memory before you meet with her tomorrow."
"I can do that," Dawn agreed. She took the document Aiden held out to her.
"Okay." Aiden moved toward the door, suddenly in a hurry to get far away from Dawn and her growing feelings for the younger woman.
"Why don't you stay a little longer?" Dawn suggested. "The apartment always seems so empty after the children are gone."
Aiden shook her head. The more time she spent in Dawn's company, the more fascinating she found her, and that was dangerous. "I can't. I still have to review my reports on your case." It was a lie. She would look through the reports and statements again tonight, but she already knew them by heart.
Dawn nodded. "Will I see you before the trial?"
"Sure. We'll see each other in the witness room. I have to testify, too, remember?" She only realized after she had said it that Dawn had probably meant to ask whether she would see her in more private surroundings than the courthouse.
"Do you think you'll have to testify before I have to?" Dawn's question came without hesitation, making Aiden doubt if her former assumption had been correct.
She nodded. "I'm pretty sure that Kade will call me as her second or third witness. She likes to keep a somewhat chronological order of witnesses to avoid confusing the jury. And she usually saves her strongest witness for last."
Dawn swallowed audibly. "And that... that would be me?"
Aiden saw the nervousness in the green-gray eyes. "Kade believes in you. And so do I."
"I'm scared," Dawn admitted.
Aiden was tempted to pull her into a protective embrace but held herself back. "It will be over before you know it," she promised instead.
"You're not scared or nervous at all, are you?" Dawn looked at her with admiration.
"It's not the same for me. I'm just the detective working the case, not the victim here." Aiden was nervous, not so much about her own testimony but about Dawn's and what effect it could have on her. Having to face her rapist and the defense attorney's questions had reduced many rape survivors to tears on the stand.
Aiden pushed back the intense wave of protectiveness flooding her and walked to the door. "I have to go." She reached for the door handle and pushed it down. "Keep your chin up, huh?"
"I'll try to," Dawn murmured.
Aiden left, dissatisfied with herself and the situation.
CHAPTER 16
"THAT'S IT." Kade leaned back in her desk chair and nodded at the woman across from her. It had only taken two repetitions of the questions and answers game until Kade was confident that Dawn Kinsley could handle herself on the witness stand.
Kade wished for a witness like that for all of her cases: a woman who was confident enough to look you right in the eyes while she told you what had happened to her, yet who also possessed a trace of vulnerability that resonated with many jurors. It also didn't hurt her credibility that she was a psychologist and a rape counselor.
"It was okay like that?" Dawn asked.
"Absolutely," Kade said. "Just look at me and answer as directly and with as many details as you can. You'll be fine."
Dawn nodded. "I heard jury selection was this morning. Do you have a good feeling about the group?"
Surprised, Kade studied her. Except for the occasional victim who worked in law enforcement or in a legal profession, this was clearly the best-informed witness she had ever encountered. Taking an active interest in her case was usually a good sign, but Kade wanted to make sure that there would be no surprises during the trial. "You have an inside source hidden somewhere?"
Dawn blushed. "No, I was a little early for our appointment, and I heard two of the potential jurors you had excused from jury duty talk about it."
Kade leaned back again. "It was the most extensive jury selection I've had in quite some time."
"Why's that?" Dawn asked.
"I tried to unearth prejudices against lesbians and exclude the homophobes while the defense attorney sought to keep them in the panel because he hopes they'll sympathize with his client. D'Aquino tried to use his peremptory challenges to exclude everyone he suspected to be gay or have gay friends or family members."
Dawn looked up alarmed. "He can do that?"
"Theoretically, no. The law prohibits exclusions of jurors based upon their race or other criteria that make them belong to a cognizable group," Kade explained.
"And sexual orientation is such a criterion?"
Kade nodded. "According to People v. Garcia, yes. But when counsel can give a group neutral explanation for his challenge and I can't prove that it was not the real reason for excluding that juror, the judge has to overrule my objection."
Dawn rubbed her forehead, sighing. "Was I too naïve in thinking that my sexual orientation wouldn't be an issue in this trial?"
Despite what had happened to her, Dawn seemed to have an optimistic outlook on life, but Kade didn't find her to be naïve at all. "Not naïve, no. Normally, the sexual history of a rape victim is not admissible in court. No defense attorney is allowed to parade a dozen witnesses before a jury who testify to the victim's reputation as a slut. But in this case, I think we have to be the ones who bring up your sexual past."
"Is that really necessary?" Understandably, Dawn didn't seem enthusiastic about the idea.
"Yes. Your sexual orientation is the motive in our theory. If you testify that you identify as a lesbian, it contradicts Ballard's claim that you consented to have sex with him," Kade said.
Dawn nodded in understanding. "What are our chances for a conviction?"
There it was – the million-dollar question. Kade shrugged. "Normally, I would say they're more than good – we have DNA evidence, a solid identification in a lineup, and the Glock we found in his apartment."
"But?" Dawn prompted.
A rapid knock on the door interrupted them.
"Yes?" Kade called. A quick glance at her watch showed that it was already time for her appointment with the next victim. Getting lunch will have to wait again, she noticed with regret. Her mother and whatever man would accompany her to the next fund-raiser or another social event would be thankful for it, but her stomach, at the moment, wasn't.
The door swung open, revealing Aiden Carlisle, who gently led a nervous looking Melanie Riggs into the office. The young woman had been raped six months before and still couldn't leave the house on her own, so Kade had asked Aiden to drive her to the trial prep appointment.
"Hi, Kade, Dawn." Aiden nodded at the two women while she guided Melanie Riggs to the chair next to Dawn.
Kade observed how Dawn immediately turned and directed a few encouraging words toward the pale woman, getting her to relax a little. She looked away from the two women when she saw Aiden setting something down onto her desk out of the corner of her eye. It wasn't the stack of reports she had halfway expected but a mixed salad and a big sandwich.
Surprised, she looked up at Aiden. "For me?"
Aiden nodded. "With jury selection and trial prep, I figured you probably hadn't eaten yet."
"Thanks." Kade picked a piece of tomato out of her salad and chewed it contently. "That was really nice of you."
Aiden shrugged casually. "Ah, we can't have our DDA wasting away. Would be too much trouble to break in a new one just when we finally have the old one housebroken."
Kade waved her fork at Aiden in mock anger. "I think that's your cue to leave before I decide that I need a search warrant executed at two a.m. tonight."
"I'm not on call tonight," Aiden declared triumphantly.
Kade smiled. "You would be, on my special request. After all, why should I work with another detective when I finally have the old ones housebroken?"
Aiden laughed and held up her hands. "Touché, Counselor. Back to work, it is."
Dawn stood. She leaned back down to Melanie Riggs, squeezing her hand. "You'll be just fine, believe me," she assured the nervous woman. "You're working with the best Deputy DA in the city." She smiled at Kade and nodded her good-bye.
* * *
Dawn closed the door to Kade Matheson's office behind her and strolled down the hallway, noticing how Aiden slowed her strides and matched them to her own shorter ones.
"Maybe she would have shared the sandwich if I had complimented her like that instead of calling her housebroken, huh?" Aiden joked, pointing back to the DDA's office.
Dawn studied Aiden. "You like her," she observed. She found the gesture of bringing Kade lunch really sweet.
"Kade? Yeah, of course. Like you just said, she's the best DDA in the city."
Dawn could have predicted that Aiden would say something like that, intentionally misunderstanding and interpreting Dawn's words in the context of her job. She knew that she should have just nodded and let her get away with it, but it was getting more and more difficult for her to just think of Aiden Carlisle as the detective working her case. It seemed like such a waste to look only at the surface when the woman behind the badge was so much more fascinating. After years of not letting her patients hide behind masks and roles, she couldn't let Aiden do it. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."
Aiden glanced back at her. "She's a nice person," she added.
"Ah, ah, ah!" Dawn playfully waggled her finger at Aiden. "That's not what I meant either. I was speaking of another kind of 'like.'"
"And what kind of like would that be?" Aiden asked.
Dawn rolled her eyes and smiled. Oh, come on. As if you don't already know. "The 'I'd like to kiss her senseless at that two a.m. search warrant execution or any other time' kind of like," she answered frankly. A mental image of Aiden and the DDA in a passionate embrace appeared before her mind's eye, and although she had to admit that the two attractive women would make a striking couple, she found the picture strangely disturbing. This is not the place or time to be jealous – or the person to be jealous about. She reprimanded herself. Even if she wanted to have a relationship with you, her job wouldn't allow it and even after the trial... you can't give a woman like her what she needs. Not after what has happened.
Aiden took her time answering. She opened the entrance door for Dawn and waited until they had both reached the parking lot before she spoke. "Well, that's not exactly what I thought, but..." Aiden shrugged. "...yeah, she's pretty attractive. I mean, come on, anyone with a pulse would notice Kadence Matheson. I admire her; that's all."
"No, it's not," Dawn insisted, not really knowing why she was so intent on arguing this issue with Aiden.
"Okay," Aiden threw up her hands in a half-playful gesture of surrender, "so maybe it's more than just pure, innocent admiration. A bit of good old-fashioned lusting may be thrown in, too."
But once again, Dawn wasn't satisfied with the answer. "Why do you always play down your feelings?"
"I don't do that!" Aiden protested. Her voice rumbled a bit, sounding like a warning peal of thunder.
Since the rape, Dawn had always shrunk back from people displaying signs of anger, but now she found that she wasn't afraid in the least. She knew instinctively that she had nothing to fear from Aiden. "Yes, you do," she calmly insisted. "You can admit professional respect and even lust but no deeper feelings. You pretend that your job and sex is all that's connecting you to people." It made her sad that a woman as wonderful as Aiden Carlisle robbed herself of any meaningful relationship in life.
Aiden swirled around. Her amber eyes seemed to glow and hurled angry golden flashes at Dawn. "Stop playing the psychologist with me!"
Dawn bit her lip. "I don't play the psychologist; I am a psychologist." She looked down at her hands and added in an almost whisper, "But not when I'm with you."
Aiden froze. Angrily gesticulating hands fell limply back to her sides. The flashing eyes softened as they searched out Dawn's face. "Dawn..." Aiden breathed deeply and then straightened her shoulders. "Can we agree not to have a conversation about things like that again, please?"
Aiden had said it before, had signaled her before that she wasn't able or willing to discuss her private life with her. Dawn had understood it every time even when she found it hard to accept. But for some reason, it felt like a personal rejection this time, and it hurt. "Okay," was all she could say through a constricting throat.
"At least until the trial is over," Aiden added in a low voice.
Dawn's head lifted, but Aiden was looking anywhere but at her. Does that mean...? She searched Aiden's face. The detective mask was firmly in place, not revealing any feelings. "Okay," Dawn said again.
"Come on." Aiden led her toward the parking lot. "Let's get out of here."
* * *
Kade threw her pen down onto the legal pad and leaned back with a groan. It had been a long day, and now all she wanted was a nice glass of Chardonnay, a bath with four inches of bubbles, and eight hours of sleep. Come on, Matheson. One more trial prep and you can go home to both wine and bath. At least this time, it's Aiden and not a victim. She knows the drill, and you'll be out of here in half an hour.
A knock on the door interrupted her momentary daydreams. "Yes?"
Aiden's head appeared in the doorway, the black hair ruffled after a long day. "Hey, you all right?" Aiden asked. "You look kind of beat."
After dealing with three rape victims in a row, Kade felt beat. Interacting with victims had never come as naturally to her as it did to Aiden. "Nothing a glass of wine and a hot bath wouldn't
cure," she said.
Aiden stepped into the office and closed the door behind her.
Is that a blush I see on her cheeks? Kade held back a chuckle. She investigates horrible sex crimes for a living but blushes when I mention a bubble bath? Mercifully, she chose not to comment on it. She had dealt with the innocent and not-so-innocent crushes of coworkers and detectives before, had seen it too often not to recognize the admiration in Aiden's eyes.
While not exactly used to the admiring gazes from a woman, Kade didn't feel uncomfortable or threatened by them. Whatever Aiden felt or thought when she blushed like that, Kade knew that she was a dedicated police officer and a professional first and foremost – and someone she had come to think of as a friend.
