by Jae
"Sorry," she mumbled, taking a respectful step back, "I didn't mean to interrupt."
"You didn't." Dawn stopped her retreat with a touch on Aiden's arm.
Aiden studied her. Dawn's face was flushed from the wind and the cold, and her eyes were red-rimmed from crying or from lack of sleep. Aiden found her beautiful nonetheless. Maybe it's some kind of withdrawal symptoms, she thought wryly.
She hadn't seen Dawn or heard from her since the trial had ended the week before – not because she hadn't wanted to, but because she was unsure how to behave around Dawn now that the familiar role of detective had been taken away. "How are you?" she finally asked, lacking another topic to introduce.
"Getting there." Dawn nodded almost to herself. "And how are you?"
Aiden grinned. "Same as always – up to my neck in cases."
"No vacation in sight, huh?"
"Vacation?" Aiden playfully scratched her head. "Hmm... that sounds familiar. What was that again?"
Dawn smiled ruefully. "I think it's the very thing I'm getting too much of right now. It's getting really boring to sit at home and do nothing, but I'm still not up to going back to work with rape victims."
Aiden nodded understandingly. She's got too much time on her hands, huh? This could be my chance to ask her out. She hesitated. I don't think she's ready to date anyone, least of all a woman who has as much baggage as I have. And I'm not even sure that I'm ready to be in a relationship.
She was still debating with herself and trying to work up enough courage to ask Dawn out when she remembered that she had promised to bring back lunch for Ray. She was still on duty and had work to do. This was not the right time to arrange dates. "Well, I think I'd better get back to the precinct."
Dawn said nothing; she just looked at her.
For a moment, they both stood in silence. Finally, it was Dawn who spoke first, "Yeah, I'd better get going, too. It's getting a little cold out here." She rubbed her arms.
Aiden nodded, unusually tongue-tied.
"See you." Dawn waited for a few seconds, but when Aiden just returned the good-byes, she turned and walked toward the path.
Disappointed and irritated with herself, Aiden watched her walk away. Dawn had almost reached the path when Aiden finally moved. "Dawn! Wait!" She jogged across the square to catch up with her. When she stopped in front of Dawn, she nervously licked her lips. "Do you... do you want to do something this weekend?"
Dawn studied her. "You mean... go out on a date?"
"I'd like that, yes." Aiden held her gaze. "There's this French restaurant Kade told me about... so?"
Half a dozen different emotions flickered across Dawn's face too fast for Aiden to identify them all. Was there... disappointment? "It's really nice of you to ask, and normally I'd love to, but... I can't."
"Oh, that's okay. It was just a spontaneous thought," Aiden said, trying to act indifferent. I told you; going out with her is not a good idea. She's not ready or interested. That didn't prevent her from feeling disappointed, though. "Well, I guess I'll see you around." She turned, clenching her hands in her pockets as she strode away.
"Wait!" This time it was Dawn who was running to catch up with her. "It's not that I don't want to go out... go to this restaurant with you, it's just..."
Aiden stopped and looked down at her. "You don't have to explain." Accepting a simple "no" from any woman under any circumstances was the most important rule in Aiden's book.
Dawn threw her hands up. "Yes, yes, I do. I want you to know the truth," she insisted.
"Okay. I'm listening."
"I'm still not working and..." Dawn looked down at the red cobbles. "...money is getting a little tight. An expensive restaurant is just not within my budget right now."
Aiden stared at her for a moment and then smiled in relief. "That's not a problem. I invited you; of course I'm going to pay."
"No." Dawn vehemently shook her head. "I can't accept that."
Dismayed, Aiden folded her arms across her chest. Her eyes narrowed. "So, you're not going to go out with me because you're too proud?" She couldn't believe it. It seemed a very childish reason compared to Dawn's normally mature behavior.
Dawn didn't waver under Aiden's stare. "This has nothing to do with pride," she said. "Okay, maybe it has to do with pride, but that's just to a very small extent. This is about equality."
"Equality?" Aiden repeated.
"Equality," Dawn said with a decisive nod. "We met at a very low point of my life. Until now, you were the strong detective, and I was the helpless victim – and those are not roles we can build a friendship on, much less a relationship. I need to feel like I'm your equal, and we can't do that if we keep on adding other inequalities. I don't want to be a kept woman. Can you understand that?"
Aiden looked at her for a little longer. She had to admit that not many women had stood up to her like that. Even in her relationships with men, she had often been the dominant one, the one to make the decisions, to start and end the affair when she got bored with the weaker partner. "Yes," she finally said with a grudging respect. "Yes, I can. So, you're not going out with me?"
"Not used to rejections, are you?" Dawn teased instead of answering.
"It doesn't happen often, that's for sure," Aiden grumbled, intently studying the patterns of the cobbles under her feet.
Dawn smiled. "Listen, why don't we do something else instead?"
"You mean, instead of going out on a date?"
"Instead of going to an expensive restaurant," Dawn answered. "I don't need you to spend half your pay check to have a nice evening."
So, low-maintenance women really do exist. "Okay," she said, in a much better mood. "What do you suggest?"
"How about an afternoon of ice-skating?" Dawn suggested.
Ice-skating? Aiden gave her a skeptical glance. Helplessly stumbling around at the edge of an ice-skating rink was not her idea of romance, and she didn't think that falling on your ass again and again was the best way to impress a woman. "You want to go ice-skating? With me?"
"Yeah!" Dawn confirmed enthusiastically. "It's fun; it's not that expensive, and it's not your usual first-date activity, so it doesn't put as much pressure on us as a restaurant setting would."
Well, that sounds really reasonable, Aiden had to admit. "You're right, but there's still one problem... um... I don't know how to ice-skate."
Dawn looked at her incredulously. "You've never been ice-skating? Never? Not even once? That's a sacrilege! But fortunately, we can remedy it – I could teach you," she offered.
"Hmm..." Aiden scratched her nose.
Dawn laughed, her eyes twinkling with delight. "You're not scared, are you, Detective?" she teased. "Don't worry. I'll catch you when you fall."
Are we still talking about ice-skating? Aiden wondered. "Okay." She gave in with a sigh.
"Then it's a date?"
Aiden studied her. "Yes. That is... if you want it to be." She was well aware that it might take Dawn more time to be ready to begin dating again. "Or do you want to invite your niece to go with us?" she offered in an effort to make Dawn feel more at ease. She loves to spend time with her niece, and maybe Dawn would be more comfortable if we have a chaperone.
Dawn blinked, clearly astonished and pleased that Aiden had thought to include a member of the family who meant so much to her. "It's nice of you to think of Jamie, but for now I want it to be just the two of us. Even a stellar teacher like me can't take on more than one student at a time," Dawn joked.
"Okay. One ice-skating date, you're on." Aiden glanced down at her watch with regret. "I really do have to go now."
Dawn laughed. "Tomorrow, four p.m.?"
Aiden nodded without further hesitation. "I'll pick you up."
"Why don't I pick you up?" Dawn suggested, clearly in another attempt to establish equality.
"Because you drive a sardine can, and I need to have two functioning legs if I want to attempt ice-skating," Aiden said.
Dawn thought ab
out it. "You can drive if I get to pay the admission at the ice-skating rink."
Aiden wondered if it would always be like this and then decided that she would like a partner who could stand up to her for a change. "You drive a hard bargain, Doctor Kinsley."
"Take it or leave it, Detective." Dawn held out her hand.
"Okay, okay, it's a deal." Aiden shook the offered hand. One last squeeze of her fingers, and then Aiden departed. I think I'm gonna join Ray and eat a salad today. I'll need the vitamins if I want to keep up with Dawn Kinsley.
* * *
"Is this size okay?" Dawn was kneeling in front of Aiden, both of them looking down at the rented skates covering Aiden's feet.
"I think so."
"Okay, then let's get going." The indoor ice rink on the first floor of the mall was beginning to get crowded, and Dawn didn't want to risk a collision between other skaters and her inexperienced skating partner. She wanted this date to go as smoothly as possible. She finished strapping on her own pair of ice-skates, stood, and offered her hand to Aiden to help her up.
Holding on to Dawn's hands and forearms, Aiden hobbled the few feet to the shiny surface of the ice. She stopped at the very edge of the rink. "Okay, how do I do this?"
Dawn held back a smile. Aiden was clearly uncomfortable at being confronted with something in which she had no experience, in a domain not her own. The few dozen onlookers, watching the ice rink from the food court above, didn't help either. For Dawn, it was a perfect first-date situation after her rape – she was the one in control. "Hold on to my hand, distribute your weight evenly on both skates, and just try to glide," Dawn instructed. "We're gonna stay near the rail on the outside, away from the more experienced skaters and the rowdies."
Dawn stepped onto the ice, easily keeping her balance because she had done it hundreds of times before. Aiden followed with more hesitation, one hand clutching Dawn's, the other holding on to the railing around the rink.
Dawn guided her around the rink, patiently looking on as Aiden began a one-legged shuffle in her effort not to lose her tight grip on the railing. "Let go of the railing," she ordered after a while.
"I can't fall while I hold on," Aiden protested.
"Yeah, but you also can't skate that way," Dawn reminded. "You won't hurt yourself even if you fall. Everyone falls."
Aiden still held on to the bar. "I don't see anyone in danger of falling, except for me."
Dawn laughed. "That's because you keep looking at your feet. You can't see anyone else and you can't keep your balance this way, so keep your head up. Trust me, I won't let you fall." Dawn knew it was difficult for Aiden to give up control.
Millimeter by millimeter, Aiden loosened her grip on the railing and lifted her head while her other hand held on tighter to Dawn's.
"Yes, that's it!" Dawn encouraged even as Aiden started slipping and sliding around the ice. "You're doing great! Now turn one foot sideways and use it to propel you forward on the other foot. Don't be afraid to take your foot off the ice."
Slowly, they made their way around the rink, once and then twice. "Want to try on your own?"
Aiden's gloved hand hesitantly let go of Dawn's. Dawn watched proudly as her student cautiously skated away from her. She did well enough until, out of the corner of her eye, she detected two preteens who where doing effortless spins right next to her.
Afraid of a collision, Aiden leaned to one side to correct her course and skate around them, but she overcompensated and fell.
Dawn dug the edge of one blade into the ice and raced toward her, stopping in a tight spiral right next to her fallen skating buddy. "Hey, you okay?"
Aiden looked up at her. "Yeah. I fell on my butt. The only thing hurt is my pride."
"Want to try again?" Dawn asked hesitantly. She loved ice-skating, but she knew that some people could never get up any real enthusiasm for it. She didn't want to force her hobby onto Aiden if she really didn't like it.
"You bet!" Aiden got to her feet with determination.
A few rounds and three falls later, Aiden was gliding over the ice with much more grace and had even tried a few spins. Dawn was skating backward next to her so she could keep an eye on Aiden. Aiden's cheeks were red from the cool air and the exertion; her short hair was disheveled, and her eyes were sparkling.
They were a little out of breath when they finally stopped, leaning next to each other against the railing. The ice-skating rink had gotten crowded and loud voices drifted down to them from the food court – this was not the time or the place to hold a lengthy conversation.
Both a little reluctant to end their afternoon, they changed into their shoes and trudged through the freshly fallen snow toward Aiden's car. "Come in for a minute to warm yourself up," Dawn invited when they reached her apartment building.
She noticed with satisfaction that Aiden followed her up and sank onto the couch without much hesitation. Groaning, Aiden stretched her legs and waggled her feet. "I think it'll take a while to get my land legs back."
"I hope you still had fun despite a few rather unfriendly encounters with the surface of the ice?" Dawn said when she pressed a cup of coffee into Aiden's cold hands.
"I had a lot of fun," Aiden answered, meaning it. "Well," she added with a smile, "maybe not as much fun as all those preschoolers had, watching me hobble around the ice like a drunken penguin and fall on my ass while they did effortless pirouettes all around me."
Dawn laughed. "That's the advantage of youth, Detective."
Aiden set down her mug and studied her for a moment. "Why don't you call me by my first name?" she suggested. Dawn had been waiting for this offer since the trial had ended. "You can't call someone who spent an entire afternoon humiliating herself in your company by an honorable title like Detective."
"Okay, Aiden." The name felt a little strange as it came over her lips even though Dawn had already called her that in her mind for a while. "And for your information, you weren't that bad, and you certainly didn't humiliate yourself."
"Well, I won't give up my day job to train for the Olympics either, that's for sure." Aiden chuckled. "But it was fun and... I'd like to do it again."
Dawn shifted forward onto the edge of her seat. She had a hard time holding back her delighted grin. They both knew that Aiden wasn't just talking about ice-skating. Guess I didn't scare her off, huh? "I'd like that, too."
Aiden swallowed her last sip of coffee. Now that their mutual interest had been established, she retreated. "I'd better go now. The snow's still falling."
"Drive carefully," Dawn said, following her to the door.
Aiden nodded. "I always do." She reached behind herself to open the door but still faced Dawn.
Dawn felt her hesitate, both of them a little unsure about what a proper good-bye between them should be. Dawn had liked the necessity of holding Aiden's hand during her ice-skating lessons, but no further touches had been exchanged. She felt her body stiffen without conscious thought as Aiden leaned down, suddenly sure that she was not ready for anything more than a quick peck on the cheek. Her worries eased when Aiden made no attempt to kiss her but enclosed her in a quick but warm embrace.
"Thanks for the lesson and the company," Aiden said when she stepped back.
"You're welcome."
Dawn stood by the door long after it had closed behind Aiden.
CHAPTER 24
FOR THE THIRD time, Aiden circled the coffee table, where her telephone lay. Finally, she sat down on the couch and studied the device as if she could make it ring just by looking at it. No such luck. Should I call her, or do I wait until she calls me? Will she call me or does she expect me to? If I call too soon, she'll think I'm clinging, smothering her. If I wait too long, she'll think I don't care. Aiden groaned. God, I really hate this dating stuff. It's more complicated than understanding the science behind PCR and STR-testing.
It had been a week since their ice-skating adventure – Aiden still wasn't sure if she should call it a date – and she hadn't
heard from Dawn since then.
After another minute of internal debating, Aiden gave herself a mental slap and reached for the phone. She almost dropped the cordless phone when it suddenly began to ring in her hand. Jesus! She fumbled for a bit until she found the right button. "Carlisle."
"Hi, it's Dawn." A short silence on the other end. "You sound a little breathless, did I interrupt anything?"
"Dawn! Hi! No, no, you're not interrupting anything. I was just about to call you." Great! That sounds like the lamest excuse in the history of dating even if it is the truth.
