by Jae
"I know," Del whispered. "But despite all the pain, your mother never regretted that she married your dad."
Dawn nodded and sighed. "Where is she?"
* * *
Ray was pacing the hospital hallway when Dawn hurried through the double doors with Del. He was looking as worn out as Dawn felt – his suit wrinkled and bloodstained, the tie hanging loosely around his neck, and his eyes haunted.
Suddenly he was not a stranger that she hardly knew anymore but an anxiously waiting family member. Dawn wrapped her arms around his stiff shoulders for a quick hug, ignoring Aiden's blood on his shirt as best as she could. "How is she?"
"I haven't heard anything yet," Ray answered. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet, clearly hard-pressed not to resume his pacing again.
Dawn sank into an uncomfortable plastic chair. She fell into some sort of trance while she waited for news about Aiden's condition. She didn't notice Del or Ray, didn't see the nurses and visitors bustling down the hallway, didn't hear the beeping of machines or the crying children, yet was immediately fully alert when a white-clad doctor stopped in front of them.
"Anyone here for Detective Carlisle?"
"Yes!"
The physician looked from Ray to Dawn. "Are you family?"
Again, they spoke at the same time, "I'm her partner."
The doctor's brows lowered in silent reproach. "I would recommend you get your stories straight if you want information about the patient."
Ray was not in the mood for debates. He shoved his gold shield under the doctor's nose. "I'm her work partner, and she's her life partner. Now tell us how she is."
"She's lucky to be alive," the doctor answered. "The vest prevented the bullet from entering her body, but she still absorbed the bullet's energy, which caused blunt force trauma."
Dawn swallowed. The word "trauma" wasn't part of her favorite vocabulary at the moment.
"And that means...?" Ray prompted.
"She has a chest contusion – a fist-sized hematoma, a few bruised ribs, some swelling and discoloration," the physician said. "She'll be very sore for a week or so."
Dawn stared up at him. "But she'll be fine?"
"Well, she also has a laceration on the back of her head and a possible concussion, so we're doing a CAT scan and we're admitting her overnight for observation." The doctor shrugged. "But provided that there aren't any complications, yes, she should be fine."
"Can we see her?" Dawn had to see with her own eyes that Aiden was okay.
"If she's up for seeing visitors and wants to see you. The nurses will let you know when she's back in her room." The doctor held up a finger. "Don't stay too long, though. Detective Carlisle needs her rest."
Time seemed to crawl, but finally a nurse arrived. "You can see her now."
"You go in," Ray said to Dawn. "I'll come visit her as soon as I've called Susan."
Thankful for the opportunity to be alone with Aiden, Dawn followed the nurse toward one of the rooms. She opened the door and peeked in.
Aiden was slumped against the pillows of a hospital bed, her face as pale as the linens. She had been stripped of her gold shield and her clothes and was wearing a hospital gown. An intravenous line was taped to her hand. She was looking at the wall, so Dawn could see the white patch of gauze that covered the back of her head.
"Hi." Dawn's voice was a mere whisper. The sight of a wounded Aiden shook her to her core.
At the sound of her voice, Aiden tried to straighten and take on a more casual pose, but Dawn could see her nostrils flare in an attempt to suppress a groan.
"Don't get up." Careful not to jostle her, Dawn perched on the side of the hospital bed. She took Aiden's hand in her own and stared down at her, trying to catch up with her whirling thoughts and comprehend what had happened.
"Don't look at me like that." Aiden nudged her under the chin to make her smile. "I'm fine, really."
Dawn didn't smile. "You have to stay overnight in a hospital. That's not 'fine' in my book."
"It's just standard procedure." Aiden waved a hand. "A formality."
"Of course!" Dawn's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "It's not like you have any reason to be here, like a concussion or massive bruising."
Aiden struggled to sit up. "I'll be fine. I've had worse. They shouldn't have called you."
"Oh, yes, they should!" Dawn didn't want to argue, but her emotions were running high. The thought of how close Aiden had come to dying was making her dizzy. She wanted to hug Aiden and hold on to her for a long time; she wanted to shout and to cry and to laugh with relief, but Aiden didn't seem to want any displays of emotion. It took all her self-discipline to imitate Aiden's matter-of-fact behavior. "What happened?"
"I can't talk about that."
Dawn looked into stony amber eyes. "You can't or you don't want to?"
Aiden shrugged. "It's an ongoing investigation –"
"An investigation that almost cost you your life and I'm not allowed to ask you about it?" Dawn knew that she would see every possible scenario of what might have happened in her nightmares.
Aiden closed her eyes.
With a sigh, Dawn decided that this was not the time for an argument. Aiden looked exhausted and in pain even if she tried to hide it. Give her a little time and space, she reprimanded herself. Aiden is a woman who needs it, and you have to accept that. "Do you have a headache?" she asked. Her fingertips touched the fine hairs on Aiden's temple.
Amber eyes opened. "It's not too bad."
A soft knock preceded the opening of the door. Instead of the nurse that Dawn had expected, Ray and Del entered.
Ray stopped at the foot of the hospital bed and wrapped his hands around the railing surrounding it. His eyes didn't leave his partner's face. "You okay?"
Aiden grinned up at him. Dawn could see her flinch as she tried for a casual shrug. "I would be better if I didn't have to wear this flimsy sheet of paper and stay here overnight to enjoy three low-cal, low-taste meals."
Del crossed the room and rested one hand on Dawn's shoulder as she looked down at Aiden. "Hey, Carlisle," she said. "The first time you work with me and you pull a stunt like this. You just couldn't stand the thought of letting a lieutenant with the North Precinct have all the attention, huh?"
Aiden chuckled, clearly more comfortable with Del's typical cop approach of hiding her emotions behind joking and teasing than with Dawn's questions about her well-being.
"We should go and let you get some rest," Dawn said when she saw Aiden suppress a yawn. A little uncomfortable under Ray's and Del's watchful eyes and not sure if Aiden was up for the public display of affection, she leaned down and pecked Aiden's cheek without wrapping her arms around her as she wanted to.
Aiden gazed up at her, her eyes cloudy with pain and emotion. "Dawn?"
She stopped in mid-turn. "Hmm?"
"I... we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"
Dawn's relief that Aiden wasn't completely shutting her out was profound. For the first time since Del had appeared in her office, she could breathe freely. "Okay."
* * *
Aiden didn't look up when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw another white-clad figure enter with a tray in her hands. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry."
"Well, I guess then I'll just take this delicious Chinese food that my daughter prepared for you and –"
A wave of pain shot through Aiden as her head jerked up, stretching the sore muscles of her chest and shoulder. Dawn's mother stood in front of her – in a nurse's uniform. "Grace? What are you doing here?"
"I work here at the hospital. I'm a nurse upstairs in the pediatrics unit." Grace glanced down at her white clothes. "Or did you think this was a fashion statement?"
Aiden didn't know how to answer the gentle teasing. Never in her life had she been concerned with making a good impression and getting someone to like her, but now she wanted to impress Grace. She knew how important her mother was to Dawn, and she knew that if she wanted a serious
long-term relationship with Dawn, she'd better try to establish some sort of mutual acceptance with Grace. "No, I... I guess I'm not thinking clearly right now."
Grace moved closer and set the tray down on the bedside table. With the trained eye of a nurse, she checked the dressing on Aiden's head and the bruise that was peeking out from under the thin hospital gown. "You're lucky to be alive." Her voice was a whisper.
"I know." The pain in Grace's eyes reminded her of the other cops in the Kinsleys' lives that hadn't been so lucky.
"If you hadn't worn a vest..."
"I know," Aiden said again. It had been a routine visit, following the tip of an elderly witness, that they had been sure would turn out to be a dead end anyway. Almost never had she worn a bullet-resistant vest in a situation that she didn't expect to end in a confrontation with a perp. Only a coincidental glance down at the Saint Michael good luck charm had made her stop to get a vest this time. I really had a guardian angel today. She lifted a hand to touch the pendant – only to find the place on her upper chest empty. God, no! I must have lost it when they ripped the vest and shirt off me!
"Are you looking for this?" Grace asked.
Aiden looked up to see the silver pendant dangling from Grace's fingers. "How...?"
"Del found it at the scene after the EMTs had carried you off," Grace said. "She recognized it immediately because it's one of a kind. There's not another one that's exactly like this. My mother-in-law had it made for Jim's father, who was a cop, too." She looked down at the good luck charm, her thumb caressing the metal.
It's an old family heirloom, Aiden realized, and Dawn gave it to me? Did her mother know about that?
Grace reached out to hand Aiden the necklace.
"No." Aiden pulled her hand away and shook her head. "It belongs to your family."
Grace studied the silver pendant for a second. "Yes, it does." She stepped forward and pressed it into Aiden's hand, closing her fingers around Aiden's to prevent her from letting go. "And if my daughter has anything to say about it, you're a part of it now."
Aiden looked down at the hand resting over hers. Did Dawn's mother really want her to have something that was so valuable to her family? "And... and if you had anything to say about it?"
"Then it would be Jim who gave the pendant to you," Grace said, her gray eyes misty. "But if you have it, I can at least have the feeling that somewhere, somehow he's there, watching over you and making sure that his daughter's heart won't be broken again by losing a cop."
Aiden tightened her grip, finally accepting the necklace. Dawn's father watching over me... I like that thought. Although I hope that he won't be watching in certain situations when I'm off-duty and spending quality time with his daughter.
CHAPTER 30
A KEY RATTLED IN the lock, and her mother's footfalls came down the hall. "Dawn?"
"I'm in the kitchen, Mom."
Grace cracked the door open and peeked into her kitchen.
Dawn turned away from the stove to glance at her mother. "I hope you don't mind that I used your kitchen. Mine is just too small."
"It's certainly too small for all of this." Grace gestured with both hands, pointing at the lasagna, the Caesar salad, the chocolate mousse, and the cookies that were baking in the oven. She wandered closer, and Dawn felt her mother's hand come to rest on the small of her back. "Are you okay, sweetie?"
"I'm not the one who got shot, Mom." Dawn's teeth ground against each other.
"You're the one who looks more upset, though," her mother said. "I always know that something's bothering you when you're cooking up a storm. Is Aiden still pulling that stoic warrior routine that they seem to teach at the Police Academy?"
A smile inched across Dawn's face. "I think she was the top pupil in the class."
"Your father was the all-time champion, though," Grace said.
Dawn leaned against the kitchen counter. When her father had been alive, she had been a teenager without much interest in the dynamic of relationships, and now she tried to think back and remember the interactions her parents had shared. "Dad... was he communicative as a partner?"
Grace laughed. "Are you kidding? He came from a family of Irish cops who thought that 'pass the potatoes, please' constituted sufficient marital conversation. It's not that he wasn't concerned about me and my feelings; he just didn't like to talk about his own."
"What did you do when he tried to shut you out?" Dawn wanted to know.
"It took a few years, but eventually I figured out when to push and when to let him be." Grace smiled. "And I cooked a lot."
Dawn snorted. "Great. Nice to know that I'll be frustrated and fat."
"Talk to her," Grace suggested. "I have a feeling that Aiden wants to talk to you but is just not used to having someone be there for her. She doesn't have family, does she?"
Dawn didn't want to delve into that topic. That was something that only Aiden could decide to share. "I don't think she has any connection to people outside of her job."
"Except for you," Grace pointed out.
"If she wants me."
Grace pinched her thigh. "Of course she does. What's not to want?"
"You're biased, Mom." Since the rape, there were moments when she doubted that she was proper relationship material for a woman like Aiden. She wondered if she could really be an equal partner for Aiden, not only because of the emotional wounds that the rape had left, but also because – despite having been married – she didn't have much experience with relationships, much less lesbian relationships.
"I don't think so," Grace objected. "She'd be lucky to have you – you're intelligent, beautiful, and honest, and seeing as how I can't stand lasagna, I guess you just spent a few hours in the kitchen to make her favorite dishes for her."
Dawn felt a blush crawl up her neck and color her cheeks. "Aiden is not much of a cook."
"See?" Grace patted her shoulder. "You're perfect for each other. If she always cooked when she's upset, too, I'd never get to use my kitchen again. Now go and feed that detective of yours."
* * *
Loaded with half a dozen containers of food, Dawn drove across town. She pressed the familiar buzzer to be let in, but no one answered. Hmm... either she's asleep or she doesn't want company.
One of Aiden's neighbors moved past her and turned his key in the lock. He entered but kept his hand on the door to prevent it from closing and looked back at Dawn. He had seen her when she had visited Aiden before.
After a second's hesitation, Dawn followed the neighbor into the apartment building. If Aiden still didn't open the door, she would at least leave the food on her doorstep. To her surprise, the door was opened after the first knock.
Aiden was leaning in the doorway in jeans and a loose shirt. Her feet were bare and her hair tousled. "Sorry I couldn't let you in when you rang the bell. I was in the shower. Took me forever to get this shirt on." Aiden was breathing hard, and sweat was forming on her brow even though she was just out of the shower.
Dawn resisted the urge to kiss a drop of water from the tip of Aiden's ear. "You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" She checked the bandage on the back of Aiden's head. "Why didn't you choose a button-down shirt? It would have been much easier than trying to get into this shirt."
"Yeah, I realize that now," Aiden said with a rueful smile. "But by the time I came to that conclusion, I heard the doorbell and I knew it was most likely you, so..."
"So you didn't take the time to go into the bedroom and pick another shirt." Dawn shook her head, not sure if she should be annoyed that Aiden had been so careless with her own health or flattered that she was so eager to see her. Deeply breathing in her scent, she slipped past Aiden into the apartment. "How are you?" She was a little worried about how Aiden was doing on her own.
"Much better now that I escaped those sterile hospital walls." Aiden followed her into the living room and watched as Dawn spread out the food she had brought on the coffee table. "What's all this?"
"I made y
ou lunch."
"You didn't have to." When she saw the expression on Dawn's face, she hastily added, "But I really appreciate it. It smells great." Aiden opened the kitchen cupboard and reached up to take out two plates for them. A groan escaped her lips when she stretched to reach the upper shelf.
Dawn raced around the table and urged Aiden away from the cupboard. "Sit down and rest. Did they prescribe pain meds for you?"
"I have some pain pills."
