by Jae
Aiden laughed. "Well, not before, but you do now." She gently rubbed her thumb over Dawn's cheek. "There. It's gone."
"Thanks." Dawn resisted the urge to touch her face again. "Why were you looking at me if there wasn't anything on my face?"
"Maybe I just like looking at you?" Aiden said with a smile.
Dawn gave her a doubtful gaze.
"No, really, I do," Aiden insisted, now completely serious. "I often wished I had my mother's artistic talent when I was growing up, but never because of any honest desire to draw. It was always about meeting my mother's expectations and proving that I was like her – and not like my father. But now I'd really love to be able to capture what I see when I look at you."
Dawn felt a blush heat her cheeks. She wanted to reach out and touch Aiden, to establish some kind of contact but didn't want to get the powdered pigment of the pastels all over Aiden's clothes, so she leaned up on her tiptoes and silently brushed her lips against Aiden's cheek.
This time it was Aiden who was touching her own cheek.
Dawn grinned and leaned up again, kissing Aiden's lips.
When the kiss ended, Aiden loosely slung her arms around Dawn and held her while she gazed over her shoulder at the sketch pad that was now resting on the table. "Wow! You're good."
"I'm good at drawing cats – and I should be because I've done about a thousand sketches of Kia. She's the only model who's willing to lie still long enough for me to draw her."
"What about me?" Aiden suggested. "When I gave you the set of art supplies for Christmas, you said you'd have to draw me sometime. So if you still want to..."
Dawn studied her. "Is that something that you'd like to do? I mean... with your mother being an artist, I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."
"I didn't have a lot of patience sitting for my mother when I was a teenager," Aiden admitted. "But I'm not a teenager any longer – and you are not my mother." She grinned at Dawn. "So, where do you want me? Do you want me to just sit on the couch or...?"
Dawn's thumb nervously rubbed over her sketch pad as she gazed at Aiden. She let her gaze trail over Aiden's face and down her shirt-covered upper body. She wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but she answered before she could stop herself, "I'd like to draw you. All of you."
Aiden stared at her. "You mean..." She tugged at her button-down shirt. "Naked?"
Dawn cleared her throat. "Yes. If you're comfortable with it." She knew Aiden wasn't shy about her body, but getting naked while Dawn was fully dressed and studying her might make Aiden feel a little vulnerable.
"Sure," Aiden said without hesitation. "Are you comfortable with it?"
Dawn hadn't allowed herself to think about it when she had asked the question. Now she realized that drawing Aiden naked gave her an opportunity to share some kind of physical intimacy that seemed limited and controllable. "I'm fine with it," she said, appreciating Aiden's concern for her.
"All right," Aiden said. "Then let's do this." She began to undo the buttons of her shirt.
Dawn busied herself with preparing a blank page on the sketch pad and getting her pastels ready. Then there was nothing else to do, and she silently watched Aiden undress.
Aiden smiled and held her gaze as she slipped the shirt off her shoulders. "Have you done this before?" she asked as she reached back to unhook her bra, clearly a little too nervous now to just let Dawn watch her undress in silence.
"What?" Dawn asked distractedly as the bra fell away and revealed Aiden's breasts.
Aiden kicked off her shoes and unzipped her pants. "Drawn a nude model?"
Dawn finally tore her gaze away from Aiden's body and looked up into her face. "Once," she answered.
"Cal?" Aiden asked.
"No. I never felt the urge to draw him." She had never found her ex-husband's body as inspiring as she found Aiden's. "Maybe that should have told me something, huh?"
Aiden slowly slid her pants over her hips, revealing long, smoothly muscled legs. "Then it was Maggie?"
Again, Dawn shook her head. "She drew me once, but I never drew her. I didn't do a lot of drawing or painting when we were together."
"No?" Aiden finally stood before her fully naked, fidgeting just a little, and Dawn had trouble focusing on the conversation. "Why not? She's an artist, too, right? I would have thought you'd have been doing a lot of artsy stuff together."
Dawn had to swallow before she could answer. She was very aware of Aiden's gaze resting on her, observing her reactions with interest. "We did. We went to a lot of art exhibitions, but I focused on other people's art, on Maggie's, not my own." Dawn had never really thought about it. "I think I felt like an amateur next to her. When I draw, I do it for myself, not to share it with the world or to produce a great piece of art. I was more comfortable letting her be the famous artist." Dawn realized how much of herself she had held back in that relationship, and she vowed not to repeat that mistake with Aiden.
Aiden gave her an understanding nod. With a mother like Robyn Carlisle, she could understand Dawn better than anyone else. "So, who was your nude model, then?" Aiden asked.
"A few years ago, I took an art class. Our teacher had a nude model come in and pose for us," Dawn explained. That model hadn't made her hands shake as Aiden did now, though.
Aiden nodded. "Then let's see if I can do as well as that professional model. Where do you want me?"
Dawn licked her lips and looked around the room. "Could you lie down on the couch?" She watched Aiden move around the room, admiring her naked body. Then a sudden thought came to her. "You're not cold, are you?"
"Cold?" Aiden chuckled. "Quite the opposite. It's getting a little hot in here."
Dawn silently agreed as she watched Aiden recline on the couch and stretch her long body gracefully. "Could you move one arm behind your head and bend your left leg a little?"
"Like this?"
"No... a little more..." Dawn gestured. "No, no, that's a little too far." She stepped closer to the couch and reached out a hand to position Aiden's arm exactly the way she wanted it. Aiden's skin was warm and soft, and Dawn found herself lingering a few seconds longer than strictly necessary. Aiden was lying still, but Dawn could hear a sharp intake of breath and could feel the muscles under her hand start to vibrate. "Like this," Dawn finally said and stepped back.
She sat down in the easy chair across from Aiden and picked up her sketch pad. For a few seconds, she just looked at Aiden's body, overwhelmed and sure that she could never do it justice.
Aiden didn't say anything, didn't become impatient. She lay still and waited for Dawn to start drawing.
Come on. You can do this, Dawn encouraged herself. Just focus on one little detail after another. She finally lifted her pastel stick to the sketch pad, her eyes still on Aiden. She traced the shape of a strong shoulder on the paper, then sketched the well-defined muscles of her arm. She worked silently, focusing on one body part after another and trying to portray it in loving detail.
During the last few months, she had mainly seen Aiden as a person she admired – a competent detective, a strong woman, a loyal friend, a supportive girlfriend. She had been aware of the attraction she felt toward Aiden since she had first seen her, but it had faded into the background after her rape. Now she allowed herself to really see the desirable woman and to let herself react to what she saw, channeling her thoughts and feelings into the drawing that slowly emerged under her hands.
She gently smudged the curve of a small, firm breast with her thumb to give it a softer look. Finally, when everything else was done, she sketched in the details of Aiden's face, which she had left until last. She looked back and forth between Aiden and the sketch pad, smiling when their gazes met and she saw Aiden's lips curl into a smile before she resumed her "professional model" expression.
Dawn bent over the sketch pad. She traced a stubborn jaw with the pastel stick, moved her hand in small, quick half-circles to sketch in the black, ruffled locks, and softly rubbed her fingers over the
paper to hint at the shadows under proud cheekbones. Finally, she tried to achieve the exact hue of the amber eyes that calmly looked back at her.
When Dawn finally exhaled and straightened, she noticed that some time must have passed. The muscles in her back protested from being bent over the sketch pad for so long, and the natural light in the living room was almost gone.
"Done?" Aiden asked, still holding her pose.
Dawn nodded.
Aiden stretched languidly and shook her arm that had been behind her head the whole time. "Can I see?" she asked.
"Sure."
Aiden slipped her pants and shirt back on, not bothering with the buttons or her bra. She moved across the room and looked over Dawn's shoulder, so close to her that Dawn could feel the warmth of her bare skin. "Wow."
"Yes," Dawn agreed, her voice a little hoarse. "Wow." She looked down at the drawing, then at its model. "You're really beautiful."
"No, I mean, wow, you're really talented," Aiden said.
Dawn looked down at the sketch pad, barely preventing herself from running a gentle finger over the drawing. "It turned out better than I thought it would," Dawn said. She smiled at Aiden. "Having a beautiful model does make it easier."
Aiden shook her head. "It's not me who created this drawing. You're very talented," she repeated, studying the drawing of herself over Dawn's shoulder. Finally, she looked up and grinned at Dawn. "Models usually get paid for this, right? So, do I get a reward?"
"Sure, but I don't think you're gonna be as happy as my usual model with a can of tuna. What do you want as a reward?" Dawn asked.
"What are you offering?"
Dawn knew it would have been natural for Aiden to playfully demand a kiss as a payment, but Aiden always let her take the lead and initiate any contact. She always took care not to tease Dawn in any way about their physical intimacy. "Whatever you want," Dawn answered, firmly placing her trust in Aiden.
"I'd love to have a picture of you," Aiden said. She pointed at the sketch pad.
Dawn hadn't expected that. "I..."
"It doesn't have to be a nude one," Aiden added quickly.
"It's not that. It's just... I can't draw myself. I've tried it before, but for some reason I never get it right." She looked at Aiden with an apologetic shrug. "Sorry."
Aiden answered the shrug with one of her own and grinned at Dawn. "Then I guess I'll take that can of tuna after all."
"How about a kiss instead?" Dawn suggested. She felt comfortable with offering it because they both knew that every kiss between them meant so much more than simple payment.
"I'll never say no to that," Aiden answered, ducking her head a little to look into Dawn's eyes.
Dawn stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Aiden. She slid her hands over Aiden's sides and up her back, directing her closer.
Aiden went willingly, lowering her lips to meet Dawn's.
Heat shot through Dawn as their lips and bodies touched. Aiden's unbuttoned shirt parted, and Dawn was suddenly pressed against the naked upper body she had drawn a few minutes ago. Aiden's body heat skyrocketed her own. She could feel the firm muscles of Aiden's stomach and the softness of her breasts press against her body, separated only by the thin layer of the shirt Dawn was wearing. She now knew what lay beneath the rest of Aiden's clothes, and the memories added to the intensity of the moment.
Dawn started to pant. She tore her lips away from Aiden's and pressed her face against Aiden's shoulder instead. The kiss and her feelings were quickly getting out of control, and it scared her a little, but at the same time, she didn't want to end this contact. She turned her head, resting her cheek against the bare skin of Aiden's upper chest, and deeply inhaled her scent. She felt Aiden's fingers softly comb through her hair.
"Mmm," Aiden hummed. "You're very talented at this, too."
Dawn could feel Aiden's heart pound under her ear. At the same time, Aiden's willingness to rein herself in and her reassuring compliment were calming her own wild heartbeat. She brushed her lips against Aiden's collarbone and then quickly stepped back. "Come on," she said, grasping Aiden's hand. "Let's get you something to eat."
Aiden willingly followed her to the kitchen. "Not a can of tuna, I hope?"
Dawn laughed. "You'll just have to wait and see."
CHAPTER 32
AIDEN LAY AWAKE and stared into the darkness, listening to Dawn's soft breathing next to her. Dawn had fallen asleep over an hour ago, but for some reason, Aiden was wide-awake. She knew it wasn't Dawn's presence in her bed. Aiden had never liked sharing her home or her bed with anyone, but after four days of having Dawn stay with her, she found that she actually liked having Dawn around.
Dawn's body didn't touch hers while they slept, but her breathing in the otherwise quiet, dark room was soothing after a hard day at work.
The peaceful silence was suddenly interrupted by a long moan. The covers rustled as Dawn began to toss and turn in her sleep.
Shit! She's having another nightmare! Aiden quickly sat up and tried to make out Dawn's face in the darkness. "Dawn?"
No answer, just another moan.
Aiden reached out a hand to turn on the light. Initially, she had hesitated to wake Dawn from the nightmares she was still having sometimes. She hadn't wanted to scare Dawn even more by waking her abruptly, but Dawn had assured her that nothing could be more frightening than her nightmares.
Aiden turned on the light, but Dawn still didn't wake. Aiden reached out a hand to gently touch her when Dawn moaned again.
Aiden froze.
She suddenly realized that Dawn wasn't tossing and turning like someone in the throes of a nightmare and not moaning in fear and pain. She was moving and sounding like a woman writhing under her lover's passionate touches.
Aiden withdrew her hand and grinned. Glad to see that she's still having some sexual impulses. She had often wondered during their more passionate kisses if Dawn was in any position to feel real desire for her, or if she was just going along with what she thought was expected of her. Guess this answers that question.
Dawn's hand slid sensually over the sheet as if reaching for something – or someone.
I wonder if she's dreaming about me? Aiden thought with a smile. She watched as Dawn threw her head back, baring her neck to the kisses of her dream lover. She felt a little guilty for watching Dawn like a voyeur, but she couldn't look away.
Another sound came from Dawn, and this time it wasn't a sensual moan or a breathless gasp of passion. This time, it was a whimper of fear and distress. The sensual writhing turned into a desperate struggle against an unseen attacker.
"Dawn!" Aiden cleared her throat and repeated more loudly, "Dawn! Sweetheart, wake up!"
Dawn woke with a gasp, sitting up and clutching the sheet to her chest. She looked around in confusion.
"You were dreaming," Aiden said softly. She was careful not to touch Dawn in any way.
Dawn buried her face in her hands. "Oh, God," she groaned.
"It was a bad one, huh?" Aiden asked, studying Dawn with compassion.
"Yes... no... I mean, no, it wasn't worse than usual, but this time, it started out as..." Dawn trailed off and rubbed her face, clearly too embarrassed to continue or even look at Aiden.
"I know," Aiden said quietly.
Slowly, Dawn took her hands away from her face and glanced at Aiden. "You... you know? You know... what?"
"I know you were having a... sexy dream." Aiden grinned to ease Dawn's tension.
Dawn groaned. A blush crept up her face. "What did I do?"
"Nothing," Aiden said. "You just sounded like you were enjoying yourself." She reached out and slowly, softly touched Dawn's shoulder. "Hey, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. It means that you're starting to think about having sex and sharing intimacy again... and that's a good thing, right?"
"Yeah," Dawn said, not sounding very convinced, "but then you turned into... I mean... Suddenly it was Garret Ballard's body on top of me and his hands that were
touching me and..." Dawn shuddered.
Aiden squeezed her eyes shut. She had turned into Garret Ballard in Dawn's dream. Her loving touches had turned into something hurtful. Did this mean that Dawn associated her with a rapist like Ballard or her father in any way? That Dawn's subconsciousness thought her capable of hurting her?
Dawn reached over and touched Aiden's forearm for a moment. "My dream had nothing to do with you," she said, intuitively knowing what was going through Aiden's head. "Well, the first one featured you in a prominent role," she added with an embarrassed half smile, "but the second one was about my own fears and issues and about nothing else."
