“Do you listen at the door?”
She started laughing. “I don’t have to because I have been with you long enough that I can read your faces as though you say the things out loud.”
“Why don’t all of you come east for the holidays?”
“Because I don’t want to travel while I’m pregnant.”
Garnett almost knocked over his glass which caught all of their attention before James put his cards down. “You just had Sara.”
“I did.”
“Mirisa you know you shouldn’t get pregnant right away.”
She got up and walked around the table sitting down on James’ lap and picked up his cards. “You won’t win with that hand James.” Meeks could tell that her hand was tempting him just by the frustration in his eyes.
“Mirisa, you really have to stop. Meeks…” She kissed him passionately and whispered in his ear before getting up and walking over to the bar and filling her glass with lemonade.
“How are you going to handle so many children?”
“The way I handle their fathers with a lot of love. Now, if you will excuse me I think I am going to go bake something because I am hungry and frankly it is no fun playing cards when I can’t even get drunk.”
James put his cards down as she left the room. “It’s not healthy for her to have children that close together.”
“She’s afraid of losing all of you and will do whatever it takes to keep you close or make sure you don’t go far if you do leave.” Meeks relit his cigar and took a moment to let it sink in. “I’m not sure her reasoning is sound but frankly the thought of a house filled with little girls makes me smile.”
Garnett looked at him. “But…”
Meeks looked at Garnett who was visibly shaken. “I think that she was her way of thanking you.”
James put down his cards. “What did I miss?”
Garnett laid down his hand and poured a shot. “Nothing.”
“I’m beginning to feel left out again.”
“James, Mirisa never leaves you out of anything she’s doing so all you have to do is make time to talk to her. I think she misses all the hours she cried on your shoulders.”
Dominic looked up. “Does everyone get two?”
James reached for the bottle. “Two what…?”
Meeks laughed. “I think it’s a one shot deal with no guarantees.”
Dominic nodded as Garnett walked toward the French doors and lit a cigar. James looked from him to Meeks before he left the room.
Mirisa was in the kitchen stirring something in her blue bowl and singing softly. The soft light of the lantern highlighted her cheekbones as the little curls laid across her cheeks and she kept pushing them out of the way with the back of her hand trying not to splatter the batter as she did it. James watched her for a moment before he walked into the kitchen and opened the oven to find popovers just starting to get to that golden color. He reached in and pulled out the pan putting it on top of the stove.
“Mirisa?”
“Yes James.”
“I get the impression that you have given into Garnett.”
She turned toward him. “Are you seeking confirmation or why?”
“I guess both. I think Meeks is right that I never get to spend time talking to you about every day things.” He leaned up against the sink as she stopped stirring and turned around to him. “Don’t misunderstand, I love the children and I think you are much happier with Meeks but I think both have cut into the times you sought me out just to talk.”
“Can you cut the popovers and put them back in for a moment?” James picked up the knife and cut each in half. She slid the pan in the oven as she turned back to the custard and whipped it until it was creamy and thick. She walked over to the oven and removed the popovers putting them on the bar to cool. He watched her as she took down two shot glasses and walked over to the bar turning back to him. “Are you going to stand there or join me on the porch?”
James pushed away from the sink and followed her out to the porch. It was a cloudy night with a slight coolness in the air. She handed him a glass and the bottle as she curled up in the large chair. He poured her half a shot and filled his glass.
“James, do you ever wonder what the stars are?”
“Not really. Where they are wondrous little things in your world, stars are a means of navigation and survival in mine. They are reliable and comforting when you are out on the trail.”
“I think being married to Alexander has not only made me happier but he comforts me which he never did when I was with Dominic. You were always there to talk to me because you didn’t care what Dominic thought when you held me but you are more reluctant to hold me now that I’m married to Alexander. I miss you a lot and I miss the light banter and fun of being around you. I don’t think you ever realized that neither Alexander or Garnett comforted me except when things became really bad and even then they did it at a distance.”
Mirisa reached over and touched his arm. “My destiny was determined long before you knew me and even though you might feel that you have somehow ruined me you need to know that my love for you and Garnett is sincere and as wondrous to me as the stars. Your support and loyalty to protecting me has bound me to you forever. Dominic only loved his attraction to me and he still does. It is a very unique feeling because it is so completely physical. Meeks uses the things in his past and in his belief to encourage me to forge my way through life. You have such incredible common sense that you actually sway me away from unconventional thoughts and never encouraged me to leave Dominic even though we both knew it was something I had to do.”
“Dominic was too rigid in his belief of a woman’s place in a home and Meeks is too lenient.”
“I want to talk to you about Catherine.”
“And I don’t.”
“James, you really don’t have a choice. I ask nothing of you and yet on that issue you close me out completely.”
He drank the shot and poured another one before he told her the story of San Antonio in great detail. Finally he told her about their investigation of her.
“Garnett did a complete background check on her and she’s been married three times. Her only child was born with birth defects and was sent back to the islands where she died. Her first husband died suddenly a month after the marriage leaving her with a comfortable estate and a portion of his business with her father. Her second husband disappeared and she indicated that he was killed in an illegal business deal but he’s alive and well. Her third husband was the one who recently died and there is a quiet inquiry into his death because his doctor felt that he was healthy enough to last a few more years. That inquiry is still pending. Her father died in a robbery as he was leaving his office late one night but there were no clues as to who killed him.” James poured another shot. “I believe that she is marrying older men and assisting in their early passing to inherit their estates. She always picks older men with no relatives so there are few inquiries. The investigator provided a full report on the younger husband and after discussing it with everyone; we are sure that he was in San Antonio and had been in the brothel with the blonde. We think he is doing her dirty work and because of the inquest on her last husband she cannot yet attempt to lure me into marriage.”
“It seems that it was a very elaborate plan. Why did you suspect it was more than a lonely woman?”
“Because she initiated the sex and was very polished. Catherine did not initially tell us she was married which when it was revealed made her knowledge of sex understandable. Once we found out that her husband was an invalid it forced us to look deeper.”
“Do you investigate everyone?”
“Pretty much. We go to great measures to know the truth because we are not only targets for our past behavior but because of our wealth and the fact that we’re single.”
“Did you do a background on me?”
James laughed. “No. At sixteen you had no background and we knew your father very well. Plus his i
nstructions were that none of us was to touch you.”
“Did he threaten you?”
“Pretty much but it was off the cuff. Of course, an intelligent man rarely goes against a father’s instructions because fathers are least understanding when it comes to a daughter and more apt to shoot before verifying.”
“Dominic didn’t seem afraid?”
“He rolled the dice and knew with the war that your father would be unable to get on a horse and travel to Natchez to stop him. Trust me, there were a lot of arguments regarding his decision to marry you but you seemed to trump anything we could say.”
“So, what are you going to do with Catherine?”
“I haven’t decided yet. Garnett is in contact with the doctor doing the inquest on her last husband and has encouraged him to review the first husband. In the meantime, I can just sit back and let it take its course since her hands are currently tied.”
“I’m sorry. I thought it might lead to something.”
“Sweetheart, if I have learned one thing with this is that my love for you will always interfere with my having what most would consider a normal life. I just have to accept that I can’t break away from you and I can’t keep you at bay thinking I can.”
“Now I feel guilty about both you and Garnett.”
“You don’t feel guilty about Dominic?”
“Not even slightly. I think he deserves everything that happens to him.”
“I didn’t know you were vindictive.”
Mirisa smiled. “Am I?” Mirisa put her head on his shoulder and wrapped her hand around his arm as they watched the fireflies dancing idly in the distance. Meeks came out and sat down next to them picking up the whisky.
“It would be a good night for a bonfire.”
She smiled. “It is a good night to spend with good friends.”
Meeks toasted her and James told Mirisa he loved her.
Meeks saddled her horse after breakfast and told her to change because she was going to spend the day out with the boys.
They rode the southern part of the ranch and set up camp for lunch. It had been so long since she had ridden and actually been out on the trail.
She helped James put the quail over the fire as they finished cleaning the morning kill. It seemed like just yesterday that they were down in the fields hunting for the Thanksgiving turkeys. Matthew now shot as well as they did when it came to bird hunting. They had killed three large male pheasants and at least two dozen quail. Garnett had him out in the field practicing using Mirisa's handgun by shooting pinecones.
“I think he is way too young to even touch a handgun."
Dominic turned and looked at her. "I have no doubt that you think he is too young which is why you are his mother and not in charge of those things." Mirisa hated the fact that when it came to making decisions about most things in Matthew’s life that she had to relent to them. She gave Dominic the right to make almost all decisions on the boys and if she disagreed at all they usually ganged up on her.
"You know Dominic there are times when I really have trouble not telling you my feelings."
"Sweetheart, you never had trouble telling me your feelings you just have trouble accepting that your feelings don't sway me when it comes to raising the boys."
"Stop fighting with me. I am his mother, I'll always be his mother and I'll always try to tell you how I feel about the way he is raised. That is what mothers do and no matter how mad it makes you and no matter how Matthew feels when he's older it is what I plan on always doing and doing very well."
"You don't do it with Jonathan."
"Jonathan was born with a mind of his own and if you think you are capable of raising him I will not say a word because I knew from the moment I held him that he would be bossier than me and that he would have your attitude. If I can't influence you, I know I will have no influence over him." The fact that the children loved her unconditionally and listened to her without argument said a lot about her true influence over their lives.
The tension in Dominic’s eyes slowly disappeared as he held her close. He was so torn with her and his feelings. Dominic pulled her up to him and he kissed her softly. He closed his eyes, released her and walked out to where Matt and Garnett were standing.
James shook his head. Their relationship had always had such a hard edge to it and where at first it would just reduce her to confusion and tears she now challenged him and his love for her. James finished the birds and she sat with her husband by the fire as they discussed the ranch and leaving. She didn't say anything and Meeks just held her tight allowing her to get her emotions under control. Meeks kissed her lightly on the neck and told her he loved her more than he did when he married her.
Garnett could feel the tension and just assumed they had gotten into a fight. He knew that Dominic pushed her buttons on purpose and she reacted despite knowing how it would end. Mirisa got up and went over to the stream to wash her hands. Garnett walked over next to her, put her gun back in her holster and talked to her for a few minutes. She was holding his hand as she listened to him and Meeks watched as Garnett struggled with his feelings.
Garnett had yet to approach either of them instead he had become very introspective but had turned back to long hours writing a new manuscript. As always, Garnett left it in the library for Mirisa to read and she would always fix a cup of tea when the children were napping losing herself in his story. Afterwards, she would bake something leaving it on top of the manuscript. Meeks thought theirs was a love story that was never spoken much like a look across the room of forbidden love that never took blossom but which was never discarded sealing them together like the notes of a good composition. Garnett bound her to him through his love of life and she accepted his boundaries without question.
Meeks was standing at the French doors looking out across the fields as the snow fell soundlessly in the early morning light. He was wearing only a pair of jeans and she loved the way they sat across his hips. Even though Meeks didn't hear her approach he could see her reflection in the glass. Mirisa’s hands were warm as she moved them around his sides to his stomach as she laid her cheek on his back. He reached up and put his hands on her wrists. They stood that way for a moment until she moved her fingers along the waist of his jeans and kissed his back. She loved his body as much as he did hers. Mirisa moved her hands up his abs to his shoulders as he took her wrist and brought her around in front of him.
"What are you doing up so early?"
"The baby woke me up so I decided to feed her and put a fresh pot of coffee on."
"You plan on fixing breakfast this morning?"
"Yes, but sometimes you distract me before I can even get a cup of coffee."
Meeks smiled and pulled her up against his bare chest. He smelled so good and his skin was so warm. "Do you ever wonder where the year has gone?"
"Often.”
He kissed her throat before her lips. She had the most wonderful lips especially if she was pouting. She had kept him up for the last few nights and it seemed like it didn't matter what he was doing because she was always seeking him out and demanding his attention. Meeks never had a problem giving Mirisa attention but he loved it when she demanded it. He was probably the only one who actually loved her when she was crying or pouting.
"I'm going to start breakfast if you want to finish getting dressed." Meeks laughed at her.
It had been nice to have time alone with the children and the boys were excited to spend the holidays with their father. Dominic had decided to return to the plantation for the holidays which would make their Christmas so much better and allow Jasmine to spend time at home. She had wrapped all their presents and put them in a trunk so that they could open them on Christmas morning. Dominic’s letter didn’t refer to James or Garnett so she assumed that they were staying east since Dominic was heading back to Washington after he sent the boys home. Mirisa thought about the difference of her first Christmas at the plantation where the decorating was minimal and how beaut
iful the plantation was after she married Dominic.
Meeks decided to close off the upper floors of the house and they lived in the eastern wing that held the heat better because it was buffered from the mountain storms. Thanksgiving was very quiet but they enjoyed being alone with Maggie and Sara. On Christmas morning, Mirisa stuffed a small goose and put everything in the oven before sitting down with Meeks and the girls to open presents. After they put the girls down for the night, Meeks opened a bottle of wine and took Mirisa into the library to celebrate her birthday.
Above the fireplace were four canvases that depicted one painting. Mirisa stood transfixed and slowly walked over to the fireplace reaching up and touched one. The color was so beautiful but the detail was incredible. It was a painting of the first day that she went to the horse auction with them in Dallas and all of them were in the painting. Mirisa could close her eyes and hear the auctioneer and smell the stables. They were all so young then, so incredibly, beautifully young. Mirisa didn’t think there was a time that she wasn’t a part of them or that they weren’t her life. The emotion that swept through her was so strong and the love so intense that she didn’t know if she could turn around and look at her husband. She bit her bottom lip to stop the tears and she looked at her hand and the gold band. She brought her hand down and held onto the mantel to stop the emotion.
Meeks was sitting on the edge of the desk knowing she was struggling. He got up and walked over to her and she looked into his eyes as she turned. Her lashes were dark with tears as she tried hard to stop them. Meeks reached up and ran his finger across them and Mirisa buried her face in his shirt.
“You know Mirisa; most people get sentimental after someone is gone not when they are all breathing.”
“Most people haven’t had as wonderful a life as I have nor have they loved as much as I have. I miss the innocence and wonder that I had and if I could have one wish it would be to spend the rest of my life always learning new things with you. If you have taught me nothing else, you have taught me how to accept love and friendship without sacrificing either. Alexander, you have the ability to make me relive so many wonderful memories and to realize how and why I have fallen in love with each of you. Thank you.”
The Visitor - New York 1871-1873 Page 22
