by Carol Devine
Shane was the worst. He'd called her beautiful and magnificent and made comments about her great legs and smart mouth, along with calling her nutty and crazy, which were hardly compliments though somewhat true. But he sure didn't mean it to be flattering. Worse, he'd complimented her on her name, something she had nothing to do with and could take no credit for. Now that was manipulative.
During her childhood, Bird often said, one Mariah died so another might live. To her, her mother was a photograph, a woman named Mariah who lived only on a wall. Her father had never been able to get over his wife dying in childbirth.
Mariah knew early on in her life that from the moment she entered this world, she and Bird were locked in a love-hate relationship, doomed from the start. Now that baggage was leaching into other areas and she needed to make it stop.
Her first instinct was to run, make the final break with Grizzly Springs, do it now even though she didn't have enough saved to start over someplace else. But her first instinct was not her best instinct. In some ways, she was no better than Bird.
A runner. A liar. A user and, ultimately, a coward.
What a mess. What a frigging, dirty, shitty mess.
She covered her face with her hands and thought of her mother, thought of the pretty face, frozen in time, spread over the walls of the camper. Beatific smiles beamed down on a little girl named Mariah who needed to understand why her mother had been taken away. She used to touch those photographs, fingering with longing, asking for guidance, praying for a voice to ring in her ears, help her know the best thing to do, the best way to go.
Can anyone hear me? Mommy? Are you there?
As usual, there was silence.
If she didn't run, if she left Shane and stayed in Grizzly Springs, how was she going to hold her head up in this town? Tough it out, like nothing had happened? Everyone knew she'd been living with him.
Trouble was, from the beginning she told herself it was simply a matter of time before they'd break up and go their separate ways. Shane had his reputation with the Jessies of the world. To other people, it probably looked like one of those short-term affairs between two consenting adults, nothing for anyone to wring their hands over, too brief to mean much of anything, especially considering the fact she'd been kicked to the curb by the FBI, the disgraced daughter of the town drunk. It was better for Shane to get out now while the getting was good. He should be free, free of her drama and her hang ups and her sputtering stops and starts.
Breath finally caught, Mariah lifted her head, experiencing the healing that came from making a decision. She was unsure if it was the right one, but at least she'd made one she could live with.
Simple solutions were the best solutions. She was going back to her 225 square feet of retail space and the business she had built with her own two hands. She was starting to get surveillance work, steadier jobs, faster turnarounds on her investigations and appreciation for her professionalism. She had a reputation for giving clients what they needed to move on with their lives. She was tired of running. Staying put, for once, was worth trying.
But damn, it was going to be hard.
* * * * *
Two weeks later
Mariah took the public entrance to KSY Stables. It was early in the morning and she wanted to get this done before the place got overrun by tourists.
When she didn't see anyone around, she entered the long barn behind Shane's house with some trepidation. She hadn't formed an exact transcript of what she was going to say to him. Her goal was to find a way to live in the same town the way they had before, as friends.
But knowing Shane, he'd say something contrary or off-the-wall and screw her arguments within the first thirty seconds. She'd pretty much prepared herself for every scenario possible.
Ana Garcia was doing inventory in the tack room. She smiled in delight when she saw Mariah, skipped in for a hug. Glad Ana was the first hurdle rather than Shane, Mariah's hug was genuine. The two women broke apart, grinning like the school girls they once were.
"It's good to see you, Mariah."
"Hi, Ana. How are you?"
"Great. I'm glad you stopped by. I still owe you expenses from your last bill."
"Oh, that. Taking photos of cheating boyfriends has its own rewards. I'm flush right now so pay me whenever."
Ana gestured toward the bench in the middle of the room. "Come sit. I'm dying to tell you my news."
They sat, both leaning forward, mirroring each other.
"I got rid of the bastard. You were right. Derek treated me like shit. It was subtle at first, and I'm still unsure as to why I bought into his idea of me, but I began to feel more and more unhappy and down on myself, and I couldn't figure out why. Meanwhile, he's making fun of me, sly little remarks about my hair or my clothes, even my kids. Then he was telling me Shane wasn't treating me right, that I should be making a lot more money..."
"Well, it's probably true. Shane does keep an eye on his nickels and dimes."
"He has to. Our business is feast or famine. You're only as good as your last championship or quality sire or dam. But he's generous. He starts new people at the lowest end of the scale but once you've proven yourself, he shares the rewards, especially with me. I do the payroll, so I know. We've been together a long time. As long as you do your job, he's a pretty terrific boss."
Mariah's stomach took an odd dive. Jealousy reared its ugly head. Careful to keep her expression neutral, she tried to sound offhand. "You and Shane have known each other for how many years?"
"Most of our lives. Our parents are friends and he's the same age as my older brother. Growing up, we knew each other enough to say hello, but he's four years older and left to join the pro circuit when he was eighteen, as soon as he finished high school."
"I didn't realize he was so young. We never talked about it."
"World Championship Rodeo is a young man's game. It's pretty much like any professional sport. Your twenties and early thirties, those are the years you have to make it big to make big money. But his dream was the stud farm and running his own stables. He likes leading trail rides, too, even though it's where we start the new hires. Trail rides are his heart, he once told me. It's where he first rode. Cute, huh?"
"Sure, uh, cute. I never realized how far back the two of you go."
"I started working for him straight out of college. Got my degree in accounting with a minor in animal science. Shane said we'd make the perfect team. I keep the books, track the breeding program, selling and buying, sponsorships, his product lines and investments, run the website and he manages everything else."
"You always were great at math. I never would have made it through algebra and trig without you. Now with the cheater out of the way, have you thought about seeing someone else?"
"Give me a little time, why don't you?"
"What about Shane? It sounds like you have a pretty close relationship."
Ana's mouth dropped open. "You have got to be kidding me. I mean, he's attractive, don't get me wrong. But he's such high energy, high maintenance. Makes me tired just watching him. And I don't know if he did this with you, but he has this weird habit of changing the subject, veering off into some tangent that makes me roll my eyes. He thinks it's funny, by the way. Won't apologize for it, either. I could never live with him like you did. Drive me up the wall. My type needs to be normal, well, not that Shane's abnormal but he definitely can be trying at times."
"To each his own, I guess."
"What about you? Did you come by hoping to see him? He's absolutely miserable, by the way. Dogging everybody who works here. We all want the two of you back together."
"No, Ana, that's not going to happen. We started as friends, though, and I hope we can at least say hello. It's such a small town and it's going to be really awkward if we have to avoid each other. It's been a couple of weeks and I thought I'd make the first move and get it over with. Is he around?"
"He's at the Wyoming stock show, Frontier Days. It's the biggest r
odeo event in the area and he's there with most of the staff, either competing or buying and selling."
"For how long?"
"Well, he left yesterday and it's a three week event."
"Where in Wyoming?
"Cheyenne. But I wouldn't go if I were you. He's the type of person who's got one goal in mind and woe is me if I happen to approach him at the wrong time. But I shouldn't be giving you advice. Maybe if you went to see him on your own, it would be a good thing. But let him know ahead of time. He's not wild about surprises."
"I did not know that."
"Who does like surprises? It's like playing a practical joke on someone. When Chuck proposed to me, he did it in front of his mom and dad. I was 19 years old. How was I supposed to say no?"
"Put you in a double-bind, did he? No wonder you divorced him. I would have, too."
Ana snorted. "As soon as he popped the question, you would have told him off right to his face, parents or no parents, like you used to with your dad."
"Fat lot of good that did me."
"You learned to stand up for yourself. Maybe it didn't help him, but it certainly made you a strong and successful person."
"I don't know about that. I'm definitely a work in progress. Ask Shane."
"Will you go see him?"
"Probably not. I'm swamped right now with new clients."
"He entered the bull and bronc events. If you've never seen him ride, it's pretty exciting."
"I thought he retired from bronc and bull riding."
"He felt like doing it this year, he said. Makes him feel alive."
"I bet it's the adrenaline, the neurotransmitters in the brain."
"You understand, don't you, about what people need. When we were kids, you'd get real quiet whenever we shared our problems, then suddenly you'd say something that made total sense, like you weren't mixed up in the least."
"Oh, I was mixed up plenty. Don't think of me as someone who has life figured out. The FBI taught me that."
"But you have the education and the experience. I'm sorry about what happened to you. It sounded terribly unfair. The Congressional investigation made you the fall guy and raked you over the coals."
Mariah shrugged. "It's how life there works. Getting burned is a regular thing. The top echelons shift the blame whenever possible. Looking back, I'm glad I left. DC and the FBI are pressure cookers. It changes you and not always in good ways. I loved my job. But when I left the office, I felt empty. I should have had someone to go home to, not necessarily a husband or a family, but even a roommate would have been nice. I had friends but I was alone too much of the time."
"With the cheater gone, I can't wait to go home. I love being one-on-one with my girls or puttering around on my own. But I see what you're saying. Human beings are herd animals, like horses. They need to have some of their own kind around to feel secure."
"Why don't we get together for a drink or a movie or something this week? We both seem to be at loose ends."
"That would be fun. You're a little intimidating, what with the PhD and all. I would have invited you out for a girls' night before, but wasn't sure if something simple as getting together to talk would even appeal to you."
Mariah pressed Ana's hands. "We're BFFs, remember? Yes, we took a little vacation from each other but sacred vows never end."
Ana hugged her. "I missed you, Mariah."
Mariah hugged Ana back. "I missed you, too."
"Thanks for catching the cheater in the act. I like to believe I would have gotten rid of him on my own, but without you..."
"Please, stop. Tomorrow night work for you?"
"The Tavern, 7 o'clock?"
"I'll be there."
"See you then, Mariah."
"Bye, Ana. Take care."
* * * * *
It happened three weeks later, right in the middle of Rio Grande Avenue. Mariah was on her way to her storefront, crossing the street, when she saw Shane striding up the sidewalk towards her building. One of his arms was wrapped in a bright orange cast from elbow down to his hand. He stopped when he saw her, a funny smile on his face.
Feeling her insides shake, Mariah focused on the cast. "Oh, my God. What happened to you?
"Broke my arm in two places."
"How?"
He hemmed and hawed, the funny smile turning into a frown. "Let's just say it's work-related."
"A horse did this to you?
"Actually, it was a bull."
"Ana told me you were competing at Frontier Days."
"She said you stopped by. Needless to say, my performance left a lot to be desired. My pride got a little dinged."
"Your arm got a lot dinged. How long do you have to wear the cast?"
"Four weeks."
"Ouch."
"I'm three weeks into it. It happened on my first ride. That's the silver lining, I guess. I could have spent ten days killing myself on broncs and bulls, then broken my arm in the final, losing anyway. I figure I got off easy. Saved myself a concussion or two, a sore butt and plenty of uh, well...uh, never mind."
"Never mind?"
"Believe me, it's better left unsaid."
"Now you've really got me curious."
"It's just the way my mind works. I'm changing the subject. How are you? Any new juicy cases?"
"Not going to work, Shane. Out with it."
"Can you cut me a break? We're back to simply being friends, right?"
"Yes, of course. Is it embarrassing?"
"Maybe."
"Aren't you like, 38 years old? What's left to be embarrassed about?"
"It has to do with... sex."
"Oh."
He gestured toward her office door. "Maybe we should go inside."
Nervous about what was coming, Mariah unlocked the door and ushered him in. Why did she have to treat every conversation like she was grilling a suspect?
He switched on the lights and walked to her desk, sinking down in one of her client chairs. "Would you like some coffee?" she asked, dropping her purse and laptop on the counter.
"No, I can't stay."
Encouraged, she sat behind her desk. "What is it?"
He stretched out his legs, moving restlessly. "I know this sounds juvenile. How do I put this without sounding like a total retard?"
"I hate that word. Don't use it. It's demeaning."
"Sorry, but I'm not the most articulate mother who ever walked the earth."
"For a guy, you're not bad."
"That's rather sexist, don't you think?"
"Well, since we seem intent on being politically correct, now would be a good time to tell me this big sexual secret you've been sweating over."
"When I ride bulls, my balls get bruised."
"Huh?"
"For pro riders, there's plenty of ways of getting hurt but busting your balls? Don't know if that makes it embarrassing, but it seems kind of weird to break up with your girlfriend, and the next time I see you, I start talking about... well, my junk."
She bit her tongue to keep from laughing and spoke carefully. "I see your point."
He appeared innocent, equally intent on maintaining a straight face, like old times. "Good. I was afraid I'd never be able to explain it to your satisfaction."
"Sorry I pushed you. It's the investigator in me, I guess."
"Listen, I gotta get back..."
"Yes, I know. See you later."
"Yeah, later."
He slipped out the door. Mariah collapsed in her chair. First contact over, and she hadn't crumpled like a canvas sail going around the treacherous waters off Cape Horn. Progress.
CHAPTER nine
Mariah was breezing by the Black Elk B&B early one morning, carrying groceries, when Ana Garcia and her ex-husband, Chuck, exited the door, both dressed for work. Ana looked pretty in a pink gingham blouse and denim jeans, while Chuck wore dark slacks with a crisp oxford shirt, embroidered above the front pocket with 'Manager' and his name.
Hands full, Mariah smiled in
greeting. "Why, hello, Chuck, Ana. How are you?"
Chuck nodded his hello. "Great, thanks."
Ana, flustered, gave Mariah a quick hug. "What are you doing here?"
Mariah lifted her grocery bags. "I happen to be walking back to the office after picking up some items at the General Store."
Ana's high color and Chuck's relaxed attitude made it rather obvious why they were here, leaving the B&B at 7:15 am, with Ana carrying a small backpack.
Mariah pretended to think of something. "You know, Ana, if you have an extra minute this morning, I'd love to get your input on this Quickbooks software I installed. It's screwing with my hard drive."
"I better not get in the middle of that," Chuck said. He turned to Ana. "What time do you want me to pick up the girls tomorrow?"
"You won't have to. I want to see the soccer tournament, too. I'll bring a picnic lunch and get the girls over to the field by nine."
"Great. Nice to see you, Mariah. I've got to get to work, too. Bye."
Mariah noticed the squeeze he gave Ana's hand as he passed by her. He continued down the street, heading for the Grizzly Springs auto repair shop, which he now oversaw.
Mariah tilted her head at Ana and clucked her tongue, impressed. "You bad girl, you."
Ana shushed her. "We're having some fun together. Don't tell anyone."
"Why would I do that? This is private BFF business. Come on, walk me to my building. I'll make you a cup of coffee and you can confess your sins."
"And your software problem?"
"What software problem?"
Ana checked her watch. "If I stay for coffee, I'll be late for work."
"We could meet for lunch. Miracle of miracles, I have some extra time today."
"What's the point of being a business manager if I can't be late once in awhile?"
They turned toward Rio Grande Avenue. Mariah nudged Ana. "Dish."
"Ever since I broke up with the cheater, Chuck's been hanging out at the house more, helping the girls with their homework."
"What kind of homework?"
"It's not sex education, if that's what you're thinking."
