“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Horses don’t know one day from the next, but they do know night from day.” She glanced at the rafters, again wondering what it was that day that glistened. Sundown, it’s usually sundown when they ride during the week. Perhaps just the right angle of the sun….
After they turned the horses out in the pasture, ever curious, Ellie first checked to see if Victor was around, and then headed for the hayloft. Abby was right behind her. “Do you really think something’s spooking him when he does that?”
“Yes,” she said. And looked and looked.
They found nothing.
~ 18 ~
When Grandma Betty opened her eyes, there stood Ellie with this rather tall young woman of about the same age at her side. The woman looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t quite place her.
“Grandma, this is my friend Abby.”
“Ah, how nice.” Grandma Betty yawned and closed her eyes again.
According to the nurse, Ellie’s father and Jewel had just left, and had had a “wonderful visit.” Ellie didn’t know if she should disturb her; she was resting so comfortably. Another yawn however, and she was wide-awake. “Jewel brought me some more food, Ellie. Your dad looked upset with me when I said I wasn’t hungry, so I ate it.”
Ellie smiled. She’d probably made Jewel’s day. “Uh….” The nurse had also informed Ellie that the room would have to be vacated for two hours while the exterminator sprayed. She relayed the news.
“What?” Grandma Betty was appalled. “For what?”
“Ants. They said it’s the time of year for ants, and….”
“You go tell them I said no. Jesus, I’m a dying woman for God’s sake! What the hell do I care about ants!”
Ellie laughed, and taking her lead that it was okay, so did Abby.
“They said you could stay in your bed, and that they’ll wheel you into the social hall.”
“No. Wheel me outside, Ellie. Go see if you can wheel me outside. I don’t want to go to that social hall. It ain’t social there. Who are they kidding? It’s like a morgue.”
“All right, I’ll go check and see.”
With Ellie gone, Grandma Betty turned to Abby for support. “Isn’t it Saturday? Why are they doing this on a Saturday?”
Abby shrugged hesitantly. “I don’t know. It does seem rather stupid, doesn’t it?”
Stupid or not, within a matter of minutes, the exterminators worked their way down the hall and out came April’s bed first, then Grandma Betty’s with her in it and cussing a blue streak.
“Goddamn sons of bitches! Ellie! Ellie go tell them!”
“I did, Grandma. It’s okay. If the door’s wide enough, they’re going to let us go out into the courtyard.”
Sadly, it was not. The door was about two inches too narrow to accommodate a hospital bed, and with Grandma Betty’s hopes raised momentarily and then dashed, this called for additional wrath. “Why in the hell would they make a doorway that doesn’t fit?”
Army nurse had the answer. “Because it’s not a fire escape door. In case of fire, you would not want anyone to exit that way. The courtyard is surrounded by the building. It would mean sure death.”
Grandma Betty looked at her. “I’m already a sure death! So what? Push me out there and forget you ever knew me. I ain’t going to that social hall. Ellie, tell her. Tell her I ain’t going to that social hall.”
Ellie laughed. Her amusement at the situation drew a frown from the nurse.
“Maybe we can go out another door?” Abby suggested.
“No, they’re all the same to the courtyard.”
“What about maintenance? Isn’t there a door or a gate they use from the outside for mowing and gardening?” Ellie asked.
The nurse hesitated. “Now that you mention it, yes. There is one. But I don’t have time to….”
“I do. We do,” Ellie said. “Can we push her out and around and go in that way?” She and Abby instantly flanked both sides, Abby taking her lead again and assuming a ready and efficient stance.
“Please,” Grandma Betty pleaded.
“I don’t know.” The nurse appeared to be mulling it over, mapping it out in her mind. She even would turn and glance in one direction, and then another, as if maneuvering corners. “All right. But no shenanigans. I mean it.”
“Shenanigans?” Abby looked at her.
“I’ll tell you later,” Ellie said, and promised the nurse. “No shenanigans.”
Grandma Betty waved to everyone in passing, and once outside, drew a sigh of relief. It would be tempting to die during the day, if it meant never having to go back inside. “Right here,” she said. “Under this shade tree. What kind of tree is this anyway?” It had tiny little pods on it.
“I don’t know. Something ornamental,” Abby guessed.
“Ornamental. I wonder when that all came about?” Grandma Betty reached up to feel one of the pods, touched it gently with her fingertip. It fluttered in the breeze.
Ellie glanced around. A beautiful day and they had the courtyard practically to themselves. All this elaborate landscaping, and but two or three residents out to enjoy it. Abby smiled at the elderly man across the way.
“Afternoon,” he said, tipping his hat. “Nice day, eh?”
“What’d he say?” Grandma Betty asked.
“He said it’s a nice day,” Ellie said.
Grandma Betty agreed. She waved in the man’s general direction, the little pods obscuring her view.
“Are you warm enough, Grandma?”
“Oh, yes. Quite. But if you wouldn’t mind putting my head down a little. There, that’s good.” Ellie sat at her one side, Abby the other. “A captive audience,” Grandma Betty said, grinning. “Let’s see now. What can we talk about?”
Ellie hesitated, at a loss. But as usual, Abby had plenty to say. “I had a psychic reading done on my horse this morning.”
“Oh?” Grandma Betty fixed her eyes on the young woman. “Why?”
“Well.” Abby told her the whole story. Even the part about Ellie thinking there was something in the hayloft scaring Bubba. “I mean, Sir Winston.”
“And you’re supposing it’s this guy Victor?”
Ellie shrugged. “Yes. Only I can’t figure out why. He doesn’t dislike Abby. He dislikes me.”
“Dislike?” Abby rolled her eyes.
“Oh, Ellie,” Grandma Betty said, glancing from one to the other and reading between the lines. “There’s nothing more dangerous than a man like that. You be careful around him. Some men are just plain mean and can’t take no for an answer. They prey on women, little girls, little boys. They’re sick.”
Ellie nodded. “Prey, predator,” she said, as much to herself as them. “The hawk.”
“I say we have Lolita pluck his eyes out,” Abby suggested. This, as the Army nurse made an appearance.
“Everything all right?”
“Fine. Everything’s fine.”
“Good. I’ll be leaving shortly and don’t want to hear about any trouble.”
“Me, too,” Grandma Betty said.
The woman just looked at her for a second and then her usual dour face broke into a smile. “Betty, if I’m only half as lively at your age.”
Grandma Betty saluted her. “Permission to carry on?”
The nurse chuckled. “Permission to carry on granted.”
It wasn’t long before Grandma Betty was closing her eyes and dozing off and on. “The air smells so good,” she said. “It’s wonderful out here. Ahhhh, listen. Isn’t that a whippoorwill?”
“I think it is.”
“Isn’t it cool how birds mate for life,” Abby commented.
“I married for life every time,” Grandma Betty said. “It was their dying that kept messing things up.”
Ellie and Abby chuckled.
“Three husbands and only one child. It weren’t for lack of trying though. I loved sex. I always did. At times, I still miss it, you know.”
; Ellie and Abby laughed, Abby blushing as well.
“I’m sorry, dear. Is this embarrassing you?”
“No, not really. It’s just….”
“That it’s coming from an old woman. Who better to say? Those teens you see on TV sashaying around? Why, they’re just little puppies. They have no idea.”
“Amen,” Abby said. “I hate that. Just because they’re young and skinny and perky and…little!”
Ellie laughed. Grandma Betty had hit on a nerve with Abby, one of her pet peeves. Little women. Considering Abby stood at six-foot-one, most were little to her.
“Just once I’d like to wear pink and ruffles and not feel like a freak. Or look like a freak for that matter either.”
“Ruffles?” Ellie said. “I can see the pink, but ruffles?”
Abby smiled. “All right, maybe that was a slight exaggeration. But I feel like Bubba. No wonder he doesn’t like being called Bubba. It’s like people calling me Stretch. Hey, Stretch. How’s the air up there, Stretch? Whatcha see up there, Stretch? Oh, yeah…well stretch this!”
Grandma Betty clapped her hands. “Bravo! Bravo!”
The three of them laughed, and then exhaled a collective sigh. “You know what I’m thinking.” Grandma Betty said, glancing around. “I’m thinking if they took more of us out every day like this, just to sit and look around and chat, it wouldn’t be such a bad place. When I first came and could walk, I used to come out a lot. Remember?”
Ellie nodded. “That was before the pneumonias,” she told Abby, which made no sense to any of them, particularly in light of Grandma Betty’s feelings on the subject.
“Fresh air would be the best thing for it. But no, they want you cooped up in your room or in some damned hospital. That may keep you alive, but it ain’t living. What point is there in outliving everyone, all cooped up by yourself? Do you know that there’s a woman on my floor who hasn’t had a visitor in over nine years. Nine years without any family or friends. Can you believe that?”
Abby tried to find the silver lining. “I imagine the staff becomes their family.”
“For a while, till they change jobs or quit. They don’t come visit then either. The earth is the only constant. The sun, the moon. They’re afraid we’ll get sunburned. They’re afraid we’ll get a chill. They’re afraid we’ll fall.”
“But aren’t those all legitimate concerns?” Abby asked.
“Yes,” Grandma Betty said, sadly. “Ahhhh, life….”
Ellie adjusted the blanket up around her shoulders.
“If just maybe once a week….”
“Betty.”
Grandma Betty turned her head, listening.
“What is it, Grandma?”
“Betty.”
“Did you hear that? Did someone call me?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
Ellie hesitated. “I think so. Why, what did they say?”
“They called my name.”
Ellie and Abby exchanged concerned glances.
“Do you want to go back inside?”
“Goodness gracious, no,” Grandma Betty said. “Whoever it is will just have to wait. I will not die during the day, and that’s all there is to it.”
* * *
It was a little after four in the afternoon before the residents were allowed back into their rooms. The majority were transported or assisted directly to the dining area, to give the insecticide/pesticide fumes a little longer to dissipate. One of the women still parked in the hallway complained to Ellie and Abby and Grandma Betty as they passed, that the fumes were burning her eyes.
“Oh, no they’re not,” a nurse at the station scoffed. “It’s just your imagination.”
Abby felt sorry for the woman. “Gees. Her eyes did look red.”
“Who was it?” Grandma Betty asked.
“I don’t know. A woman in a wheelchair. Short dark hair, thick glasses.”
“Mary. I’ll bet it was Mary. That woman’s a hypochondriac. She’s the one responsible for them not bringing the dog around anymore. Said it gave her fleas and caused a whole big fuss.”
Ellie and Abby got Grandma Betty situated, no easy task, since an orderly had already put April’s bed back into the room; April’s being the one closest to the door. They had to move it one way then another, then another, and another, almost got the bed by, but got totally stuck and had to back out and start all over. Second attempt, they moved Grandma Betty’s lounge chair over by April’s bed first, the dresser over also. Third attempt, back and forth, back and forth, this time, they got the bed in and up against the wall. Abby pushed the chair back in place.
“Ten-thirty, Grandma?”
Grandma Betty smiled. “Ten-thirty.”
Ellie hugged her gently and kissed her on the cheek. It was Abby’s turn to say good-bye. She hesitated. She didn’t know what to say. Good-bye seemed too casual. “We’ll walk the labyrinth for you tomorrow, Betty. And when we get to the center….” Tears welled up in Abby’s eyes. “I’ll pray for you.” She bent down and kissed Grandma Betty on the forehead.
“Wear pink,” Grandma Betty said.
Abby promised she would.
No sooner had they gone, Grandma Betty had another visitor. Her doctor.
~ 19 ~
When Ellie arrived home and picked up the phone to dial Diablo, the line was dead. “Wonderful.” She plopped down on the couch and leaned her head back and sighed. She should have paid the phone bill yesterday. It was the cutoff date.
Great timing.
She’d so desperately wanted to talk to him, to hear his voice, to thank him for being so kind to her grandmother. To thank him for being there for her as well, for loving her, for her loving him. She wanted to thank him for everything. She laughed at herself. She certainly was in a thankful mood. But then again, why not? She’d had such a wonderful last couple of days with her grandmother. Then there was Diablo finally getting to meet her, before it was too late. That was a dream come true. As was her and Abby’s visit today with Grandma Betty. What a good afternoon they’d shared. She had much to be thankful for.
All except…. She glanced at the clock in the kitchen. It was getting close to the time when she and Abby rode most often on weekdays. She grabbed some carrots and an apple out of the fridge, and headed to the barn. It would be too out of the ordinary for her to ride twice in the same day. It was not standard practice for her or anyone else in the barn for that matter. Victor would notice. Sheila would notice. But if she lucked out and no one was there…. Saturday evenings were usually quiet. Most everyone would have already ridden, or would be away at a show.
She parked near the back of the barn, not visible from the owner’s house, and entered by the side door. Damian was standing to the rear of his stall, and as usual, nickered at the sound of her voice. “Hey, big guy.” She broke the carrots into pieces and fed them to him one by one, fussing over him and telling him how pretty he was. Then she walked down to check the arena, empty. She wouldn’t have to ride, not really, she decided. She could get on him bareback and just walk him around. The setting sun was at just the right angle, shining in on the hayloft through the arena doorway. She put Damian’s bridle on him, and led him over to the mounting block. Having had a good day of constant exercise; the ride this morning then turn out in the paddock, he was calm and quiet, even a little lazy actually. “This is nice,” she told him, patting his neck. “It wouldn’t hurt for you to be like this a little more often.”
First time around, nothing. No shiny object, no glimpse of light. Second time around, the same, and the time after that and after that. She gave up after awhile and simply enjoyed the solitary time with Damian. Round and round and round, no change of directions, no smaller circles, just round and round the perimeter, her feet dangling and totally relaxed, and Damian taking deep breaths and sighing every so often. Walking and walking and walking. Horse nirvana; the thought penetrated her mind, a communion. Woman and horse, companion. Mother, father, grandmother…lo
ver. Damian was all she needed at the moment, all she wanted.
Something caught her attention, and she turned, dazed. Victor was standing in the doorway, holding a dead crow and laughing. Laughing like a circus clown, laughing and laughing and laughing. She stared, stared so hard he disappeared. Then he was right in front of her, behind her, in the doorway again, outside on the hill. She opened her eyes with a start, and glanced in all directions. Nothing, alone. She and Damian, totally alone, but for a flash of intense light that came and went. She looked up into the hayloft and saw Victor. This was no dream. He was glaring at her, taunting her, leering, the light blinding, flashing, flashing, flashing….
“Ellie.”
She turned, stared again, tried to focus. “Diablo?”
He smiled. “I figured this is where you’d be.”
She hesitated, wanting to glance back into the hayloft, but wouldn’t, couldn’t. She kept her eyes on Diablo, walked Damian up next to him.
“I tried to call you,” he said.
“I know, my phone’s out. I tried to call you, too.”
Damian stood tossing his head, entertaining himself with his mane and forelock whipping up and down.
“There was no answer, it just kept ringing.”
Ellie leaned down and kissed him.
“How’s your Grandma?”
“She’s still with us. She has her heart set on tonight.”
Diablo shook his head, still uncomfortable with this concept of looking forward to death. “I figured if I was going to get to see you….”
Ellie slid off Damian and pulled the reins over his head. “What time is it?”
Diablo checked his watch. “Seven-thirty-five.” When Damian advanced toward him, Diablo stepped back. “If he comes any closer, I’m going to drop kick him.”
Ellie laughed. If only Damian hadn’t tried to bite him that one time. “Here,” she said, and tossed him the reins. “He’ll walk with you, watch.”
“No way.” Diablo tried handing them back, but when he did, Damian moved closer to him. Out of instinct, Diablo nudged him and was surprised when Damian started walking alongside him. “Ellie, take him.”
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