“Instead of you.” He shook his head. “If I’m going to run this company, then I need to care about all my employees. That means you.”
“Jackson—”
“That’s my price,” he said, his thumb tracing the inner skin of her wrist. “You want me there, then you walk in by my side. No more hiding.”
“This is a bad idea.”
He shrugged. “Not from where I’m sitting.”
“I don’t even have a dress.”
“Take my credit card.”
She shook her head. “What do I know about fashion? This will be bad, mark my words.”
“Mm.” His eyes swept over her, a heat simmering within them. “You could always let me dress you. I’d love to help you out with any activity that involves fewer layers of clothing.”
She wagged a finger at him. “Boundaries, Mr. Sinclair.”
His grin was lopsided. “Beginnings, Ms. Carlow. There’s a difference.”
Ignoring him, she went back to her meal. “Marc won’t like this idea.”
“I’m devastated.”
“The board will wonder what’s going on.”
“Let them.”
“So will you when you get your memory back.”
Those eyes were back on her. “When I remember, I’ll also have the memory of this conversation and will know without a shadow of doubt that I talked you into this, not the other way around. Just lean in, Lori. We need to do this.”
What’s one more bad idea in a list that is rapidly growing longer than Santa’s?
“I’m on record as saying you’ll regret this.”
“Noted. Now eat your dinner. It’s bad enough I have you on call twenty-four-seven these days. Can’t let you waste away.”
She laughed. “I think it’d be quite a while before I was in danger of that.” She’d never been a small person in any way and while she’d grown to love her curves, she had no illusions that there were far more beautiful women than her in his life.
Jackson was quiet long enough that she glanced in his direction. He was studying her, taking his time.
“I happen to adore the way you look,” he said at last. “Which means I need to feed you so that not a single thing about you changes.”
Surprise surged through her as he went back to his own meal.
Surprise and a warmth in her chest she had no business enjoying.
…
Jackson rubbed his eyes, glancing at the clock on his computer. He should be sleeping, not studying the middle of the night. Lori may have grudgingly accepted that she needed to be his date to the benefit but she sure as hell wasn’t going to make it easy.
“If we’re going into the lion’s den, then we need a way back out,” she’d said, pulling up page after page online with the bios of dozens of the wealthiest men and women in the city. Before they went to this event, he needed to be able to recognize them all.
My brain is going to melt.
There were so many more interesting things he’d rather be doing than memorizing the city’s elite.
Like convincing Lori to kiss me again.
His lips curved at the memory. The past few days it had been nearly impossible to keep his hands off her. He knew it was wrong. She’d made it clear there was a line between them that they didn’t cross.
But all I want to do is jump over it.
He’d bet she did, too, if he were a gambling man. Which he might be. What did he know?
That’s what makes this so hard.
He wasn’t one to chase a woman who didn’t want to be caught.
But Lori didn’t seem to know which direction she wanted to sprint in. One minute she was the professional, staid assistant keeping him at arm’s length, and the next she was fire in his arms, kissing him with a desperation that took his breath away.
How do I forget about that?
She thought he didn’t realize the times she glanced over at him with an expression on her face he’d almost call…
Longing.
While he may never have noticed before, this week that desire was all he could see.
She wants this, too, but something has her running scared.
He didn’t think it was the amnesia. If anything, that seemed to give him an opening he’d never had before. No, there was something else standing between them.
And he couldn’t remember what it was.
He snapped his laptop shut with just a little too much force.
With a sigh, he leaned his head back against the edge of his chair. The world was flashing by before his eyes and he felt like he was holding on with his fingernails, waiting to be flung away from safety. Any minute everything could come crashing down around him.
Now Marc wanted him to go into the heart of the city’s elite.
He should just go himself.
In fact, he should be doing all of this himself.
Instead, he relies on his wounded brother. A brother that’s nothing more than a stranger right now.
How did he face that? How could he look at a computer screen, see the only family he had, and feel…
Nothing.
That fear gnawed at him. So long as he didn’t “meet” Marc, he could cling to the idea that he had family out there. But if he was faced with his brother and looked into his eyes to see nothing but a random man, that last little safety rope to his past would be severed. If that happened, he’d be more alone than he was right now. While he’d like to think of himself as a brave man, he wasn’t sure he could handle more isolation.
Not when I live and breathe it every minute.
How could anyone understand what it felt like to recognize nothing? No one?
“Enough of this.” He needed sleep if he was going to keep this up again tomorrow.
Leaving his office on the first floor, he was heading for the stairs when he saw a soft glow from the kitchen. On silent feet, he padded to the doorway and peered in.
Lori stood at the fridge. The light from the machine haloed her as she pulled the ice water from the shelf. Closing the fridge, she set the pitcher on the corner and rose to her tiptoes to reach a glass from his cupboards.
He inhaled as her shirt rode up, treating him to a hint of skin, before she found her glass and sank back down.
Walk away. She doesn’t know you’re here. Leave her alone.
But his feet wouldn’t move.
She filled her glass and put the water back in the fridge. When she turned, he caught a flash of a word on her shirt in the light from the outer hall. His lower abdomen clenched as he realized what she was wearing.
“That’s my shirt.”
A little cry escaped her as she nearly dropped her water.
“What are you doing up?” she demanded when she righted herself. “It’s two in the morning.”
“I was studying.”
“We need to be at work in five hours. Get some sleep like a normal person.”
“Like you are?”
“I just needed a glass of water.”
“So I see.”
Now that she’d moved closer to the light from the hall, he could see a whole lot more.
Her pajama shorts were cute, striped, and best of all, they showed off a hell of a lot of leg.
But his favorite thing about her wardrobe was the fact that nearly a week later she was still wearing the shirt he’d loaned her on her first night here.
She shifted under his scrutiny and he realized something else.
She wasn’t wearing a bra.
He went hard as iron and it was his turn to readjust himself uncomfortably.
“It’s late,” she said, her voice soft. “We should go to bed.”
“No arguments here.”
“Alone.”
“Now there I have an issue.”
Her grin was brief. “I’m too tired to go through this dance.” Dropping her gaze from his, she tried to walk past him. And didn’t see him step forward into her path.
“Jackson,” she sighed in ex
asperation.
He ignored her, cupping her face to run his thumb along her cheek.
Her smile vanished, her hazel eyes watchful as she held still under his touch.
You’re barely holding her. She could step away if she wanted to and she’s still here.
His heart sped up at the knowledge. Lori was the master of holding him at arm’s length. But right now, she seemed as unwilling to move away as he was.
I might never have an opportunity like this again.
Visions of their first kiss danced in his head. She was so close. Everyone kept telling him he liked to take risks.
And Lori was more than worth this one.
He lowered his head.
“Jackson,” she whispered before his lips could touch hers.
He stopped, raising his head to meet her gaze.
“I know you think you want me.”
“Think?”
“But there’s just too much you don’t know about me. Us.”
He studied her silently.
“This isn’t fair,” she said.
“To you?” Because if that was her argument, how did he fight it? Saddling her with a damaged man with no past and a rocky future. None of this was fair to her.
But she slowly shook her head. “To you.”
What am I missing? How can she be so sure I don’t want her?
Had the former him said or done something to her?
Did I reject her?
He couldn’t have been so stupid.
Could he?
“I don’t care about that,” he told her.
Her smile was brief. “But I do. It’s my job to put your needs first.”
Something snapped inside him. Gripping her waist, he twirled her up against the wall and stepped forward, a thigh sliding between her legs.
She gasped his name, her hands gripping his shoulders for support.
“I don’t need an assistant right now,” he told her. “And I’d love to put your needs first all night long.”
“You can’t say things like that to me.”
“Because you’re my employee?”
She shook her head. “Because it’s a dangerous game we’re playing.”
“Then tell me one thing. Just a simple yes or no answer. Can you do that?”
“Depends on the question.”
His hands ran lower, moving from her waist to her hips. Inhaling her lavender scent, all he wanted to do was pull her farther into his arms. He wanted to explore every inch of her body the way he’d dreamed of.
But his desires weren’t what mattered here. Every step they took together needed to be her choice.
“If we weren’t who we are,” he started. “If I wasn’t your boss, or a CEO, or an amnesiac, or any of the other things that make you push me away, would you want this? If I were just a guy you met at a coffee shop, would you kiss me right now?”
The breath escaped her in a huff. “Jackson…”
“Just tell me. Yes or no. Give me this at least.”
She chewed on her lower lip. “None of this matters. You’re not just a normal guy.”
“It matters to me.”
“I really shouldn’t—”
“Please.”
Her words stopped. “You don’t say that word often,” she whispered.
“Guess this must be important then.”
Taking a deep breath, her gaze dropped from his to focus on his chin. “Yes,” she said so softly he nearly missed it. “If you weren’t you and I wasn’t me, if we were just two people… Yes, I’d kiss you. Every chance I got.”
It was his turn to stand frozen before her. Her confession thrilled him, sending hope churning through his body, but there was something more. Somewhere in the deep blank recesses of his mind pulsed an indescribable joy that he didn’t understand.
What were we before? She says we weren’t anything but that doesn’t feel…
True.
But whatever had happened before was gone. He had no choice but to be this new version of himself and that was apparently a man Lori wanted.
“But we’re not normal people,” she told him, her gaze rising again. “At least, you’re not. We aren’t in a timeout from reality, even though it sometimes feels like it. We have to make the best decisions, and if you can’t do that because of your injuries, then I need to step up. That’s my job and I’m good at it.”
“Doesn’t it get tiring,” he asked, “always doing the right thing?”
“Yes. So stop making it harder.”
He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “See, here’s the thing. Sometimes I get these little glimmers of what my life used to be like. They’re so tiny I can’t hold on to them. But when I think about you…I don’t know what we were, but I know you were important. Which means I’ll do anything for you. But Lori, don’t ask me to do this. Don’t tell me to walk away when kissing you was the only thing that’s made sense since I opened my eyes.”
She inhaled sharply.
“Do you really want me to step back?”
…
I should say yes. Tell him to let me go and head back to bed.
Alone. When the man who’d featured in all her daydreams was standing in front of her asking to be everything she wanted.
There’s only so much a woman can take, after all.
Morals were nice to have, but damn, how often did opportunities like this come around?
Jackson watched her in the dim lighting. He pressed against her, closer than ever before, and she couldn’t help enjoying the weight of his body against hers.
Is there any harm in just a minute or two? I won’t let it go too far.
All she wanted was another taste. Another kiss. Just one.
Selfish.
Yes, but hadn’t she earned it? She was living a lie to protect a man who would likely press charges against her the second he could. No matter how this played out, this idyllic opportunity was time limited. Soon he’d be back to his old self.
And he wouldn’t push me against kitchen walls or trail his fingers across my bare thigh.
The way he was right now.
Screw nobility.
“Kiss me.”
The words left her in a rush. But his smile was slow and sure.
Then, he did what she asked.
She sighed against his lips, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. His hands ran up the sides of her body, making her painfully aware of her decision to leave her bra draped over the chair in her bedroom.
He ran his lips over hers, sending a shiver down her spine. Closing her eyes, she relaxed, enjoying the feel of him against her. Maybe taking a timeout from reality wasn’t the worst idea ever.
I could have more moments like this.
Any time she wanted.
Emboldened, she ran her fingers through his dark hair, meeting his desire with some of her own. He slipped one hand under her T-shirt, and electricity shot through her at the touch of his hand against her bare back. It would be so easy to want more. She could push him back to the table or the island. Pull off the shirt she’d borrowed from him. One she’d never been able to give back. She liked sleeping with his sandalwood scent wrapped around her.
But this can only be a kiss.
Anything more was dangerous. It flirted with a moral line she didn’t want to cross.
His hands moved back to her hips as he trailed his lips over hers one last time before drawing back.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“My line,” he replied, his tone equally soft.
She bit her lip before saying, “I’m going to go to bed now. Alone. We have a long day tomorrow.”
A wry look crossed his face. “One step forward, two steps back, eh?”
“It has to be this way.”
“Tell me why.”
You’ll hate me if I do. “Just trust me.”
A low chuckle escaped him. “You’re the only one I trust.” Stepping back, he gave her a last tender smile before walking
away.
Lori stood for a long time in the near darkness, staring at the glass of water on the counter that had started this mess.
If only she had the luxury of making different choices.
Chapter Ten
“Lost in thought?”
Jackson glanced at his VP. “Sorry, did you say something?”
Will tossed the papers he was reading on the desk between them. “Rough week?”
He forced an easy, relaxed smile to his face. “One hand, you know,” he said, showing off his bound wrist. “I hate being at a disadvantage.”
Understatement of the year.
“Fair. I fractured my ankle once. All I can say is it will get better. Not even we can rush healing bones.”
“Thanks.”
“And besides, a little birdie tells me you have an extra set of hands to help you.”
He leveled an even stare at his VP. “Something you want to ask, Will?”
“I thought you said Lori was off-limits, and now you’ve moved her in.”
I said that? “She’s helping me,” he replied. “It’s strictly professional.”
Even if we might make out in kitchens every now and then.
“There’s good assistants, and then there’s this. I don’t know any EA willing to move in to be the hired help twenty-four hours a day.”
“You should see what I’m paying her,” he lied.
Will whistled. “I wish I’d thought of that.”
Buying Lori?
A curious rage burned low in his stomach but he forced himself to see passed it. “Had your eyes on her, did you?”
The other man shrugged. “Not after you told me to back off. But I’m not blind. She’s a pretty thing in her own way. And with breasts like hers, there’s a lot a man can forgive, if you catch my meaning.”
Too well.
“Watch it. This is an office and she’s your colleague, not some stranger to play with. Be professional.”
“A little possessive, aren’t you?”
Rein it in, Sinclair. “She’s my EA, and she’s damn good at her job. Why do you think I warned you off her in the first place?” he bluffed.
“All I’m saying is, if you decided she’s fair game, then the rest of us should have a chance, too.”
“I’m not sleeping with her.” Though not for lack of trying.
“Really? You’re slipping. Anything else get injured in that accident of yours?”
Giving Up the Boss Page 8
