by Roz Lee
Lying still, he listened. A game show, it sounded like, was on the television, the volume down low. Off to his left, the steady clicking of computer keys. Siobhan. Always working, though she swore the romance books she wrote weren’t work at all. It sure as hell looked like work to him, but then again, he did good to compose an email.
He risked turning his head, found the neck pain to be bearable, and watched her type. She looked so serious, her brows knit, her lips drawn into a tight line. “What kind of scene are you writing?”
She jumped at the sound of his voice. He smiled as she caught her laptop before it slid to the floor. “Don’t do that!” she scolded, setting the computer aside then coming to stand over him. “You almost gave me heart failure.” Her words chastised, but her smile said she wasn’t going to hold a grudge. She never did where he was concerned.
“Hey, sis. What are you writing?”
“Oh. Nothing much. My hero is being an ass to my heroine. I don’t like him very much right now.”
“I could tell. You were scowling at the screen.”
“Maybe I was. I get carried away sometimes.”
He chuckled. The small action rocked his injured ribs, making his entire torso ache. “Ow,” he groaned.
“Are you okay? Do you need the nurse?”
“Hell, no! I just have to remember nothing is funny, and I’ll be fine. No laughing.”
“No laughing,” she agreed. “Seriously, can I get you anything?”
“No. Just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck, and about half of what’s been said to me since I got here, I haven’t heard.”
She told him as much as she knew about his injuries, which amounted to what Dr. Sanderson had told her when she arrived. Everything she said confirmed what he thought he knew.
“I was hoping I was having nightmares, but I wasn’t. My career is over. I won’t be coming back from this.”
“You don’t know that, Sean. It’s too soon to tell. Bentley said you would be out for a while, maybe most of next season, but he thinks you’ll be back.”
He closed his eyes against a different kind of pain. There weren’t enough drugs in the world to ease his heartache where Bent was concerned. While they had him on the operating table, perhaps they could sew up the rip in his heart, too. He opened his eyes and looked at his sister, wanting her to hear him. She had to understand. “Don’t listen to him. As a matter of fact, don’t let him back in my room. I don’t want him here.”
He’d stunned her. Clearly, Bentley led her to believe they were close. He hated to burst her happily ever after bubble, but there was no other way.
“But…he loves you.”
“He thinks he loves me. Did he tell you he has a fiancée? A female fiancée?”
“No. No, he didn’t.” She contemplated the news for a second. “But…why?”
“I know all the questions you want to ask, but I don’t have any of the answers. Look, we had a thing…for a while. He had a chance to man up, to choose me, but he didn’t. I told him we were through…what day is it?”
“Tuesday.”
God, he’d lost an entire day somewhere. “I told him on Sunday, before the game. He’s feeling guilty or something. I don’t know. I don’t care. I just don’t want him around. If he comes back, send him away, okay?”
He could tell she wasn’t convinced he was telling the truth, but she nodded. “Okay. I’ll do my best, but I got the impression he planned to be with you through everything.”
“Don’t go getting all sappy on me. You don’t know the half of it, and I’m not going to tell you. Just trust me, he might come back, but then again, he might not. He’s scared to death of his feelings. Once he gets home and his fiancée coaxes him back into bed, he might stay there.”
“But…he told me he loves you.”
“I’m sure he meant it, but he has another life, Siobhan—a safe one. One that doesn’t require him to risk anything. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster with him for years. I gave up. This—” He waved his hand to indicate his injured state. “—doesn’t change anything, except maybe to make me more certain breaking it off was the right thing to do. It’s going to take every ounce of strength I can muster to get back on my feet. I can’t waste any of it on a man who can’t make up his mind what he wants.”
“You’re sure.”
“I am. So, please. If he comes back, send him away.” The physical pain combined with the strain of telling his sister about his sorry love life took its toll. Closing his eyes, he tried to relax, but the pain was taking hold again, smothering him. “The surgery is tomorrow?”
“Bright and early.”
“You’ll be here?”
“I’ll be here as long as you need me. My work is portable. Where are you staying? Did you rent a house?”
“Not yet.” He named the motel he’d moved into then told her where to find the key to his room. “Doesn’t look like I’ll be going back there anytime soon. Can you get my stuff for me?”
“I’ll take care of it,” she promised.
He was drifting off to sleep again. At least he didn’t hurt when he was sleeping.
* * *
Bentley dropped his keys on the kitchen island then headed straight for the fridge. Who the fuck cared if it wasn’t yet noon? He needed a beer in the worst way. His body ached from sleeping in a chair all night, and the antiseptic hospital smell had given him a bitch of a sinus headache. But he was going back—just as soon as he showered.
He pulled a bottle from the refrigerator then pressed it to his forehead for a few seconds before removing the cap and taking a long swig.
“Good morning.”
He almost choked on the beer. “Christ, Ashley! You scared me.”
“I didn’t mean to. I heard you come in.” She wrapped her arms around him from behind, resting her head between his shoulder blades. It felt good to be held. “How’s Sean?”
“Hurting. It’s bad, Ashley, really bad. There’s a strong likelihood he won’t ever play again.”
She tightened her arms around him for a moment. “I’m sorry. Does he know?”
“I think so. I don’t know. Maybe.” Had anyone told Sean? “I think the orthopedic surgeon told him, but he’s been in a lot of pain. They didn’t want to give him the good meds because of his concussion, but this morning they did another CT scan. The doctor said it was looking much better, so they gave him something stronger. He was asleep when I left.”
Turning, he took her in his arms and held her, resting his chin on the top of her head. “I’ve got to go back.”
She nodded. “I understand. He needs you.”
“No. I’m sure he doesn’t, but I want to be there for him. I owe him as much.”
“Why would you think you owe him anything?”
The scene in the bowels of the stadium right before the game came back to him. Maybe if he had left Sean alone—hadn’t cornered him. Maybe. “We had an argument before the game. He was pissed. Hurt. I feel like I pushed him over the railing, in a way.”
“You didn’t, and you know it. It was an accident. He’s not the first player to fall into the dugout.”
“I know, but I couldn’t concentrate on the game, so I’d bet he was distracted, too. If I’d waited until after the game….”
Straightening, she looked up at him. “What happened? I thought it was over between ya’ll.”
He hated the worry in her eyes. Seems he was doomed to hurt those he loved. “It was over. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I wanted to find out why he left without a word. Why he wasn’t answering my calls. Why he was avoiding me.”
“Did he tell you?”
He looked away. “Yeah, he did.” Everything appeared so peaceful in the backyard. The grass sparkled with water droplets not yet evaporated following the morning’s automatic watering. Beyond the yard, the pool shimmered as tiny waves spanned out from the circulating pump. Nothing out of the ordinary.
<
br /> Why the fuck can’t you be ordinary?
He’d given up searching for the answer to that particular question. There wasn’t one.
She slipped her hand in his, tugging him toward the door. “Come on. Let’s go in the den.” When they were settled side-by-side on the sofa, her fingers were still entwined with his. “Okay. Tell me what he said. Why did he leave here?”
He shook his head. “You don’t really want to hear this.”
“Yes, I do. You’ve been miserable since he left. I want to know why he hurt you the way he did.”
Her hand felt good in his, soft yet strong. He didn’t want to hurt her, but she deserved the truth. “He said I didn’t stand up for us—him and me. He said he saw the look of disgust on your face when he kissed me. He said I’d made my choice when I didn’t invite him to stay—to be with us—you and me. He knew I made love to you afterward, then he asked me if….”
“If what?”
“If I thought of him while I was with you.”
She was still for a long time. “Did you think about Sean when you were with me?”
“I let him think I didn’t.”
“You lied to him.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry, Ashley. When I’m with you I think about being with Sean, then when I’m with him I think about being with you.”
“Did you want to ask him to stay? Did you want to make love to both of us?”
“Yeah, I did. But I saw the look on your face, too. You weren’t ready for it. Maybe Sean was right. Maybe you won’t ever be ready for it. He was right to leave.”
“What happened afterward? Did he say anything else?”
“No. He said we were through. I’d made my choice, and he’d made his. His meaning was clear. He doesn’t want to see me again.”
“But you rode in the ambulance with him.”
“He didn’t have much choice in the decision. He was unconscious.” He paused, seeing a replay of the accident in his mind. “I never want to feel that helpless again. I was scared out of my mind. I thought he was dead when I saw him lying there. All I could think was, he thought I didn’t love him enough to fight for him.
“Everything he said to me before the game was true, and I hated myself for it. I didn’t give the three of us a chance. I didn’t give you a chance to get to know him. I know you talked a couple of times, but you don’t really know him. I guess the kiss was a test—for us. We both flunked.
“You know, if he’d sat up in the dugout, I would have been so relieved, I would have kissed him in front of everybody. I don’t care who was watching. I swear I would have done it.”
“I’m sorry. I admit I was shocked. I suppose it showed on my face, but shock wasn’t all I felt. It took me a few minutes to get past seeing you kiss a man, but once the initial shock wore off, other feelings began to surface. I didn’t tell you what I was thinking. Maybe if I had, you could have stopped him from leaving.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That kiss was hot, Bentley. Seriously hot. It’s all I could think about when we were in bed together. You know how you tried to explain to me about it being different between two guys? I couldn’t imagine it, couldn’t fathom what you were talking about, but then ya’ll were kissing, and I saw it. I saw it. It scared the shit out of me, but yeah, I saw what you meant. There’s some serious chemistry between the two of you.”
“It didn’t turn you off?”
“Oh, hell no! I’m sorry. If I’d said something….”
He shook his head. “No. You weren’t ready. Sean was right about everything. Neither one of us was ready—except him. I hurt him, made him feel like he was on the outside looking in.”
“The kid looking in the candy store window with no money in his pockets.”
“Yeah.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“No. They kept waking him up all through the night—making sure he was okay—the concussion…he knows I was there.”
“You need to talk to him. Tell him the things you’ve told me.”
“I will. He needs to get past the surgery first, though. For now, I just want him to know I’m there for him.”
“When he gets better…I think I’m ready, Bentley. I’ve been thinking about it, the three of us together. I want to do it. Maybe if you tell him that first….”
“Thanks.” Their hands were still clasped, resting on his thigh. He brought his free hand up to cup her cheek. “I love you. I always knew you were an incredible woman.” He brushed his lips across hers. “I don’t deserve you.”
She smiled, stroking his jaw. “You look tired.”
“I’m not too tired for that.”
Her lips were soft and warm against his. “Will you talk dirty to me? Tell me what if feels like to be with him?”
“Anything you want, babe. Anything you want.”
“I want you.”
Instantly aroused, he pinned her to the sofa cushions in the blink of an eye. “I want to fuck you so bad, you can’t even imagine.”
She moaned, arching up to fuse her mouth to his. Her tongue flicked against his lips, and he opened for her. She’d never been the aggressive one in bed, but he liked this new side of her. It reminded him of Sean, except he didn’t yield when Bentley tried to take the lead.
They dueled for supremacy until he was crazy with need. He broke the kiss then making quick work of removing her clothes, he made his way down her body, tasting, taking, and taunting. She wanted dirty, he’d give her dirty.
“I fuckin’ love your tits,” he said, handling them roughly. She moaned and writhed when he squeezed them hard then bit down on one distended nipple. “Beautiful goddamn tits.” He turned his attention to the neglected one, sucking and biting until the scent of her arousal drew his attention lower.
“Spread ‘em,” he growled, clasping his hand around one thigh, showing her exactly how he wanted her. “Yeah, just like that.”
Kneeling between her splayed legs, he covered her heated sex with his hand, applying pressure to the most sensitive area. “I love wet pussy, don’t think I don’t.”
He speared her with two fingers, fast and hard. Her hips rose off the sofa cushion as her cry rose to the vaulted ceiling. “Your pussy is wet and hot. So fuckin’ tight. I want it. Now.”
“Bent,” she moaned, arching her neck, thrusting against his fingers.
One handed, he freed his cock. He withdrew his fingers, replacing them with his dick. “Yessss,” he hissed, rocking into her with almost savage thrusts. “My fuckin’ pussy. All mine. Say it’s mine, babe. Say it’s mine.”
“Oh, God, Bent. It’s yours. I’m yours.”
“I want all of you, babe. You want to know what it’s like fucking Sean? I’m going to show you.”
She protested when he pulled out of her. He shushed her. “Turn over. Give me your ass, babe. Just like Sean does.”
He expected her to balk. He’d never asked her before, but she surprised him by flipping to her stomach and spreading her legs.
His heart almost hammered right out of his chest. “What the fuck are you doing?” his conscience asked as he knelt there, staring at her perfect round ass. So damned sweet. So damned innocent.
“Bent?”
Her voice snapped him out of his coma. “Babe.”
“Do I need to do something? Is this the way you want me?”
Oh, God. I’m really going to do fuck her in the ass. “No, babe. I’ll do all the work.”
She wiggled her butt, and it was all he could do to hold onto the seams of his control. “Please, Bentley. Hurry.”
Jesus, he was fucked. He swiped three fingers through her wet slit, gathering her slick juices. With one hand, he spread her while he slathered her tight, pink rosebud with her honey. Going back for more, he considered warning her, but she wanted to know what it was like, he was going to show her.
He coated his dick with her sweet juices then gritting his teeth against the exquisite pleasure awaiting him, he positio
ned the head of his cock and pushed into her.
“Fucking, Christ,” he said through his clenched jaw. He froze.
She was utterly still. He counted to ten, watching, waiting until her back rose and fell when she sucked in a breath. Her muscles rippled along her spine. He knew everything she was feeling—the absolute wonder of being possessed—the peace that comes with surrendering everything to the person you love—knowing without a doubt they cherish your surrender.
“Babe. My God, babe.”
“Bentley.”
He heard the tears in her voice, knew he needed to be skin to skin with her. Careful not to disengage from her, he removed his shirt, tossing it to the floor atop her clothes. Deciding he couldn’t do anything about his pants that were down to his knees, he lay atop her, giving her his heat and his heart.
“I’ve got you, babe. I treasure what you’ve given me.” He flexed his hips, taking her deeper. “Talk to me. Tell me what you feel. Am I hurting you?”
“Bent. No. Not hurting me. Oh, God. I…I feel….”
“Loved? Possessed? Cherished?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He kissed the temple, her cheek, the corner of her mouth. “You are all those things, babe. I love you.”
He continued to kiss her, showing her how precious her gift was to him. He stroked his hands down her sides until he gripped her hips. Holding her steady, he inched inside her until she’d taken all of him.
“Babe. You make me feel like a king. You’ve given me a gift beyond measure.”
She moaned his name.
“Let me show you how much it means to me.”
Pushing to his hands, he braced above her, slowly retreating then pushing back in. God, she was perfect. He couldn’t wait for Sean to see how perfect she was.
“Sean is going to love you. He’s going to love watching me fuck your pussy and your sweet ass.”
Her hands were tiny fists, her eyelashes a dark fan across her cheekbone. Her lips were parted, her mouth working to take in air then expel soft moans of encouragement. He increased the tempo, doing all he could to prolong her pleasure while delaying his own. With each retreat and thrust, it became more difficult.
