by Maria Duffy
‘They’re a great breed. Maybe when we get settled here we’ll get one ourselves.’
‘You should. There are plenty of green spaces around for dogs to run and Simon would be delighted to have a doggie neighbour.’
Josh smiled and nodded. ‘Right, I’d better get on with unpacking these boxes. It was lovely to meet you, John. I’m sure we’ll be seeing you around.’
‘Bye, son. And the best of luck to you in your new home.’
The sound of Stephanie’s laugh reverberated through the house as Josh watched the old man shuffle down the street. He had a good feeling about this place, and as he began stacking box after box into the hall, he smiled contentedly. Who knew what the future was going to bring but Josh had a feeling that they were in for an exciting ride.
Chapter 5
September 1995
‘So how was it?’ Holly said, flopping down on his bed. ‘Did you miss me?’
‘It was okay. The sports facilities are good but it’s weird not having any girls around.’
‘Weird good or weird bad?’
‘Good, of course.’ He grinned and she pretended to slap him across the face.
It was their first day in secondary school. They’d been in the same class all their lives and now at twelve years old, they were finally going their separate ways, him to an all-boys school and her to a community college.
‘By the way, your mum said to tell you she was going to the shop to get something for dinner and you’re to empty the dishwasher while she’s gone.’
He nodded and looked at her strangely.
‘What’s up?’ she said, unnerved by his stare.
‘This,’ he said, and moved forward and planted his lips on hers. It was the most wonderful feeling. Holly’s insides did a flip as she felt the moist, sweet lips meet hers. She entered some other universe and wanted to remain there forever. It was their first kiss. They’d been best friends all their lives but never like this. Holly closed her eyes and imagined that snow-covered castle and felt this was just another step towards her dream.
Holly dropped the blind quickly and stepped back from the window. Shit! She thought he’d seen her looking. She and David had been dying to know who was going to move into the vacant house across the road and it looked like the new neighbours were in. From what Holly had seen, it was a young couple, with no sign of children. It would be nice to have people their own age on the street. Some of the other neighbours were more settled and middle-aged and they didn’t really have anything in common with them.
She peeped out again cagily and noted that the guy was working hard emptying the van of its contents. He had sunglasses on so Holly couldn’t see his face properly, but there was something about him, something about how he’d stood, hands on hips, surveying the street. His aura felt familiar and yet she couldn’t place him. But the way he’d petted Simon, so gently and enthusiastically, told Holly that he must be a decent guy. Working with animals every day, Holly tended to judge people on how they treated their four-legged friends.
‘I’m off, love,’ said David, appearing at the sitting-room door, wearing a pair of loose red golf trousers and a top with the first few buttons open and the collar up around his neck. A sun visor completed the outfit and Holly couldn’t help staring. It never ceased to amaze her how even the most fashion-savvy men could lose all sense of style when they entered the golf course. Why were all the clothes so unflattering? There seemed to be some sort of unspoken golfing law that trendiness or sexiness was a complete and utter no-no.
‘Our new neighbours have arrived,’ she said, turning her attention away from his attire. ‘They have a vanload of stuff and they’re bringing it in at the moment.’
David came in to have a look. ‘It will be good to have somebody living in that house again. Did you see them? What are they like?’
‘A young couple, I think. I just saw her briefly as she went into the house but he’s been in and out to the van for the last while.’
It didn’t take David long to lose interest. ‘So what time are you meeting Carina at?’
‘Two o’clock on Grafton Street. I’ll be home around tea time.’
‘Same here. Do you want a lift to the bus stop?’
‘No thanks,’ she said, keeping an eye on the activity across the road. ‘I don’t need to leave for another hour.’
‘Okay, love,’ he said, coming to kiss her on the cheek. ‘Have a good time and tell Carina I said hello.’
Holly watched him load his golf clubs into the boot before hopping into the driver’s seat and heading off. Her eyes were drawn back to the house across the road but there was nothing to see. The guy must have gone back inside – all was quiet. She went upstairs to get ready for her lunch date and it wasn’t long before she was heading out into the bitter cold. Just then her mobile rang and she juggled to pull it out of her handbag while locking the front door. It was one of the customers from the veterinary clinic. She needed a favour. A bit of help with her little Maltese dog. Holly glanced at her watch before turning around and heading the opposite way down the street. Carina wouldn’t mind waiting for a bit. Holly always welcomed the chance to spend some time with her furry friends. They were loyal and uncomplicated and all they needed to make them happy was a bit of love.
‘Hi, Holly,’ said Carina, warmly folding her into a hug. She smelled of their childhood, due to her unflinching loyalty to one particular perfume from the age of fifteen. Her hair had got longer since Holly had seen her and somehow seemed even shinier. She looked beautiful in a light-grey trouser suit that moulded to her size-ten figure. Working as a stylist, Carina knew how to dress and Holly envied her effortless chic.
‘Let me see it then.’
Holly knew immediately that she was talking about the ring so she proffered her left hand for her sister to have a look. She oohed and aahed for a few seconds before hugging Holly once more. Carina had to be the warmest human being on the planet. Holly was ten years younger and she’d grown up envying her for just about everything. It wasn’t a jealous type of envy. She adored her sister. It was more an ‘I want to be like her’ envy. Carina was taking Holly to lunch to celebrate her engagement and Holly couldn’t wait to sit down with her and catch up on all the news.
They settled on a little Italian restaurant just off Grafton Street and managed to nab a lovely table right at the window. They ordered a glass of wine for Holly, a coke for Carina and a pizza to share before settling down to the gossip.
‘So,’ began Carina. ‘Have you started to make wedding plans yet? I’m so excited for you.’
‘We haven’t decided on anything for definite, but if Mammy Wood has her way, she’ll organise the whole thing singlehandedly.’
Carina laughed, even though Holly wasn’t trying to be funny. ‘The poor woman. She must be excited that her only son is getting married. I’m sure she doesn’t mean any harm.’
‘But, Carina, you should have heard her when she came over. It was unbelievable. My opinion counted for nothing.’
‘I’m sure you’re exaggerating, Holly.’ The waiter stepped in just as Holly felt like strangling her sister and placed the drinks in front of them.
‘Carina, I know you like to see the good in people but, honestly, she’s a right battle-axe. I wish she’d just let us get on with things ourselves instead of wanting to be involved in every aspect of our lives.’
‘Jason’s mum is very involved in our lives too. And do you know what? I probably felt much the same as you some years back. But now that we have children, her input is invaluable. We’d never be able to get away by ourselves for weekends or go out as often as we do if it wasn’t for Rosie. We only have to say the word and she’ll come over to babysit the girls. Wait until you and David have children. You might think differently then.’
Holly bowed her head. ‘David and I have a long way to go before we think about that.’
Carina’s almost-black eyes looked worried. ‘But you must have discussed children – you
and David. You’re a brilliant auntie and you’ll make an even better mum.’
Holly felt a lump in her throat and didn’t trust herself to speak.
Carina persisted. ‘Now that you’re getting married, you must have some idea whether you’re going to try straight away or wait a little while.’
‘We’ve talked about it, but not at length. David has always said he’d like two children – a girl and a boy.’
‘Babies don’t come to order,’ Carina said, her face turning dark. ‘You of all people should know that.’
Holly looked at her and her eyes filled with tears.
‘Oh God, Holly, I’m sorry. That came out all wrong.’
‘It’s okay. But you’re right. David is very organised in every aspect of his life. He expects things will fall neatly into place but, as you say, life doesn’t always happen like that.’
Carina looked at her quizzically. ‘Holly, is there something wrong?’ She reached across the table and put a hand over Holly’s. ‘I expected you to be glowing today. Revelling in your status of bride-to-be.’
That caught Holly off-guard and she willed the tears not to fall. She didn’t want to cry. Not there. Not now. Carina knew she’d touched a nerve, so she continued.
‘Because if there is something wrong, if you’re not happy, if it’s something to do with David, you need to speak up now. What is it, Holly?’
Oh God, she was giving her that look. She only ever looked at her like that when things got really serious and Holly knew she meant business. She was like a ninja when it came to extracting information from her and Holly knew she’d have to tell her.
‘Holly?’
‘It’s just … it’s just that –’
The pizza arrived and the waiter hovered, offering them black pepper, mozzarella, another drink – and Holly was given a lifeline.
‘Go on,’ said Carina, waiting intently for Holly to finish her sentence.
‘It’s just that I’m a little disappointed David doesn’t want a party, that’s all.’
Relief flooded Carina’s face as she sat back and let out a long sigh. ‘Is that all? Thank God for that. I thought you were going to tell me something awful.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Holly said, a nervous laugh escaping her lips as she tried to compose herself. ‘I’m getting married. How could anything be awful?’
‘And do you want a party?’ Carina asked, expertly cutting the pizza and dishing it up onto both plates with the skill of a well-practised mother. ‘Did you ask him about it?’
‘Well, no, not exactly. You know what David is like. All practical and no romance.’
‘Ah, Holly, don’t say that. He’s so good to you. Romance isn’t all flowers and chocolates, you know.’
‘I know, and I’m probably being unfair. Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted about the engagement and I want to marry David. Of course I do. But it’s just all happened so … I don’t know … so matter-of-factly. No big proposal, no romance around the buying of the ring and no talk of a party to celebrate.’
‘I see where you’re coming from. I really do. But surely what matters is that you’re marrying a good man. He’s kind and reliable and he loves you to bits. And unless I’m wrong, you love him too.’
Holly nodded. She remembered back to the day she told her parents about David. ‘A banker!’ her mother had said. ‘Well, now that’s a man you want to keep.’ Holly had felt vaguely annoyed at the time, since they hadn’t even met him and he could be an absolute idiot for all they knew. But she also knew how her parents had struggled when she and Carina were kids. They’d barely had enough money to survive and Holly remembered well the hunger pangs when she’d lain awake at night. It was no wonder her parents wanted so much more for their daughters.
‘I just had a thought,’ said Carina, jolting Holly out of her reverie. ‘Why don’t Jason and I do a meal for you two and we’ll ask Mum and Dad over as well. We can make it an engagement celebration.’
‘That’s very kind of you, Carina. But I know how busy you are. I wouldn’t want to intrude.’
‘Nonsense! It’s ages since you visited. I won’t take no for an answer.’
Holly was delighted. ‘Okay, thanks. Just tell me when and we’ll be there. Now come on and fill me in on all your news.’
Carina leaned forward and lowered her voice. ‘Well, you have to promise me you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone …’
Carina always had loads of juicy gossip from her job and Holly loved to hear her stories. They chatted amicably for the next hour until it was time to go. They paid the bill and headed out into the bitter cold.
‘So we’ll organise that meal for next week then?’ Carina said, as they came to the end of Grafton Street where they’d part ways. ‘Just check with David and let me know what night suits.’
Holly nodded, then hugged her tightly. ‘I will, and thanks again.’
She watched as Carina strode purposefully down the street and she envied her completeness. Because that’s what Carina was – complete. She had a lovely husband whom she adored, two gorgeous children, a job to die for and the looks of a goddess. That’s why Holly couldn’t tell her. She couldn’t tell her about her doubts. She had the opportunity to be as happy as Carina was. She had a good man who loved her and wanted to marry her. She loved David. And she really wanted to marry him too. But sometimes, just sometimes, she remembered what it was like to have passion. To love somebody with such ferocity that your insides exploded into fireworks when you were with them. That passion had broken her heart in the past so she shouldn’t have craved it, but sometimes she did.
She gave herself a mental shake as she headed towards the bus stop. David would never break her heart. That’s what was important. She smiled as she passed a shop window filled with blinking Santas and was reminded of how close they were to Christmas. Only eight weeks away. She increased her pace as a cold wind cut into her face and she felt suddenly brighter. She needed to start planning. Maybe she and David could have their first Christmas together in their own house. Their first one as an engaged couple. They’d usually each go to their own families for Christmas dinner and meet up again in the evening, but maybe they’d do it differently this year. Holly would have a chat with David about it later. Maybe they could even buy some new Christmas decorations too and decorate the outside of the house with lights. Holly felt all her earlier doubts dissipate and she smiled to herself. She and David were going to be married and she couldn’t wait to see what their future held.
Chapter 6
Josh breathed a sigh of relief as he drove out of the school gates. He adored his job but sometimes teaching thirty feisty twelve-year-old boys took its toll. The sixth class at St John’s primary school were at that stage where they were ready to move on to the next level and got bored very easily. Josh had to constantly come up with new, innovative ideas to hold their attention. But thankfully he held the trump card of being a football coach as well as a teacher. And for most twelve-year-old boys, football was everything. The school principal always said that they shouldn’t use bribery to get the children to do what they wanted, but Josh liked to think of it as incentivising them. If they knuckled down to their work during the week, he’d give them two hours of sports on Fridays, and if he wanted a little extra from them, he’d promise a kick-around during lunch on another day.
He was out on the Navan Road in minutes and heading in the direction of home. He felt like he was playing truant because it was only half past one, but thanks to a burst pipe and some necessary maintenance work, they’d had to finish up early. Stephanie was at home waiting for him. They’d decided that they were going to make the final move to their new house that day. Josh still felt a little sad to be moving, but as they’d emptied the old house over the last week, it had begun to feel less and less like home. His mother always said ‘Home is where the heart is’ and he was beginning to realise what that really meant.
He turned his silver Micra onto their street and
pulled into the driveway for what would probably be the last time. He was surprised to feel a lump in his throat as he stepped out of the car. He’d had some fantastic times in that house. If the walls could have spoken, he was sure they’d have had plenty to say. It seemed like no time since he’d walked up to that very door, a shiny new key in his hand, about to step into adulthood for the first time. The front door swung open and Stephanie stood there, looking gorgeous with her hair pinned on top of her head, her sleeves rolled up and her make-up-free face flushed and glowing.
‘Come on,’ she said, like an excited schoolgirl. ‘I have everything cleaned so I’m just waiting for you to sort out the rest of your stuff.’
‘I hope you haven’t been pushing yourself too hard,’ said Josh, kissing her gently on the lips. ‘I told you I’d do whatever needed to be done when I got home.’
‘I know, I know. But I’m just excited. I hate being between houses like this. I just want to move into the new place for good.’
Her excitement was contagious and Josh worked like a Trojan for the next hour, sorting out all his bits and pieces and loading the car one last time. Then it was time to leave. Stephanie headed out to the car while Josh double-checked each room, making sure they hadn’t left anything behind. It was funny, just as this house had welcomed him to his first real taste of adulthood, the new house was going to introduce him to a whole new level of responsibility. It would be the first house he’d be a dad in. He’d no longer be a reckless student or a party-loving free spirit. He’d be a proper grown-up, a responsible adult with a family to support. The horn tooted impatiently and his moment of reflection was lost. He finally closed the front door behind him and joined Stephanie in the car to head to their new life.
* * *
‘Why don’t you head up for a bath and I’ll order us a takeaway,’ said Josh some hours later when they’d finally settled themselves in. ‘You’ll be aching from all that work today so a good soak will ease your muscles.’
