Love Is Not Lost

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Love Is Not Lost Page 4

by Nikki Bolvair


  “Thank you all for coming. For everyone new to this tradition, be grateful that I'll be explaining the rules. Usually, those of you who have brought a guest would be explaining, but this year it's going to be a little different.

  “We will be catching frogs. Yes guys, frogs! Why frogs you ask? For those of you who were here last year and the year before, we found out that my Uncle Denny thought it would be funny to put crawdads in the pond, and some of us were, er, hurt in places that, ah, guys and girls shouldn't be.”

  I chuckled as music blared from speakers somewhere and Tyler went on.

  “So this year my lovely aunt has made sure that Uncle Denny has not done that, with the promise that we will hunt the frogs that have infested his pond. So here are the rules:

  “You are on your own this year! I hope everyone brought some kind of bucket with holes because that is what you’ll use to store the frogs for counting!”

  I looked around and everyone seemed to have a white or orange paint bucket with a handle. But I didn't have one.

  “Don't worry,” Lincoln whispered to me. “That's what the second cooler’s for.”

  “There's first, second and third place," Tyler continued. “First place gets this lovely key to a used quad provided by my Uncle Jake.” Everyone whooped and cheered as he held up the key.

  “He's finally parting with that old thing?!” Wendy jested from beside him.

  “He got a new one," Tyler chuckled.

  “About time! Does the old one even run?” A girl called out from a group on the far side.

  “It works, but it's in need of some help.”

  Tyler then held up a piece of paper. “Second place gets this check for $99.07.”

  “Why that number?" some guy asked from another group. “Why not round it up to 100?”

  “Because,” Tyler said, smirking. “That's the amount my Uncle Denny would have spent buying crawdads.” I chuckled as did the rest of us.

  “Third prize is a gift card to Fred's Pizza. It's,” Tyler looked down at his watch, “7:34 right now, and we have until 10 pm tonight! When you’ve caught all you can catch, we'll count them and give out the prizes. After the counting, you all will dump all the frogs into that barrel by the tackle house.” He pointed towards it. “Any questions?”

  No one said anything.

  “That is it, guys! Let’s strip down to our underwear, and if you're not wearing any, then that’s your mistake!” he called out, grinning as he jumped off the truck.

  There were some hoots and hollering as people started stripping down, but me? I wasn't doing that. I thought my best option was to wait them all out.

  I had lied to Raina. I had hunted for frogs before but I didn't frog hunt anymore. Not since after my brother, Austin, had died. It had been our thing. I made my way to a cooler, grabbed a can of soda, then turned around and made my way back to Tyler’s Jeep.

  Never again. Too many memories.

  Chapter 7

  I must have fallen asleep to all the squeals and laughter, because when I woke up I noticed something very different about my surroundings. It wasn’t where I had been before.

  I was lying on something soft, covered with a blanket and in the back of someone's truck-bed if the smell of fresh air and pond water was any indication. Not in the jeep where I had previously nodded off. When I stopped trying to figure how I had moved, I realized that I was not alone either. I had a body spooning my back with one person's arm across my middle and my head pillowed on another’s.

  My eyes flew open at this realization, to see Lincoln asleep, right in front of me. In fact, it was his arm my head was pillowed on, but who was behind me. I could only guess.

  I racked my brain; I hadn't sleep walked since I was little, so I knew that couldn't have been it. Someone must have carried me over here. But who and why?

  Why didn't they just take me home?

  I slowly turned my head upward past Lincoln's to see if I could see anyone else. I found Kayden not far away from us, so that meant Tyler was the person snuggled up behind me. I wasn't sure how I would feel about any of this in the morning, but I had to admit, it was nice.

  What time was it anyways?

  I shivered a little as a crisp breeze blew across all of us. My nose was cold and my cheeks were chilled, but my body was warm due to the blankets and the heat radiating from the boys. In an effort to warm my face, I slid my head closer onto Lincoln's shoulder and sighed in contentment as I soaked up the much-needed human contact. Something my life had lacked.

  I wasn't a hugger, and I leaned away from touch most of the time, but I hadn't always been like this. My father changed my perspective. He spent his last hour of life teaching me that the love of human touch can be sour and mean. Having experienced both sides, the good and the bad, I’d decided touch for me was, at best, foreign. That's the way I needed it to be. But this? Having them asleep and near me, it was temporary but nice.

  I looked up to see that the night sky was pitch-black except for the million diamonds like stars that filled it. I could hear the crickets making their music as well as the frogs who were singing their own song. I'm sure their croaks were in loud protest of their capture.

  I smiled as I listened. When I was younger, Austin and I had rode our bikes down to Witchback Springs a lot. Well, not really together. It was more like I'd follow him and his friends down there and join in. After the fifth time, he realized that I was coming whether I was invited or not. So he had waited for me, reasoning that it was safer for us to go together rather than me sneak after them.

  I missed him. I missed how my family had been before he died. I sniffled a little as my emotion came to the surface. Tears I had held in trickled down my cheeks and onto Lincoln's shoulder. I couldn't help myself as I cried silently, my chest heaving in deep breaths. I tried to think happy thoughts, even angry ones. I tried to think of HotShot, but it was no use. The long awaited tears had come, and the dam was breaking.

  Why did they have to bring me here? To catch frogs of all things.

  I must have made a noise, or maybe it was the wet patch on his shoulder, but, either way, Lincoln woke up. His eyes peered into mine, and when he registered what was happening, he draped his free arm over my body, drawing me in close for comfort. He murmured soothing words and brushed my hair away, kissing my temple.

  “It's ok, baby,” he whispered.

  “It's...”—hiccup—“s-s-stupid f-frogs.”

  “Shh. It's ok. Let it all out. Let me have it all.”

  “It-it-it's my fault, Linc.” Sniff “If I had made h-him s-s-stay home," I cried brokenly. “If only I made him stay home," I chanted to myself as I calmed down, finally falling back to sleep as the heaving in my chest gentled.

  My last thought before darkness claimed me was, if I only I had made him stay.

  ***

  I woke up again, but this time it was to a booming voice and the sun just barely above the horizon. “Are my nephews sleepin' outside again?! You boys better get to goin' before your Ma comes hollerin'. She can be really mean when she—” I poked my head out of the blankets and saw exactly what I thought I'd see. A farmer in overalls.

  “Well, he'llo there, darlin’. Didn't see you there.”

  “I-I-I, uhhh.” I couldn't come up with anything, so I elbowed Tyler behind me. He grunted.

  “Tyler....” I whispered, but it was Lincoln's eyes that opened in front of me as he shifted. Turning his head, he gave a loud yawn as he saw his uncle.

  “Hi, Uncle Denny,” he greeted as he proceeded to grab the end of the blanket and throw it back over all of our heads.

  “Do we have a plan?” I heard Tyler whisper from behind me, close to my neck.

  “No," Lincoln answered, curling in closer to me. “Let Kayden deal with it.”

  Kayden shifted, and then I saw Lincoln wince. “Ouch.”

  “I can hear you, boys," Uncle Denny called out, patting the tailgate and letting us know he was still there. “I hope she's still dressed.
I suspect that nothing happened...”

  “Uncle!” Tyler protested as he tightened his arm around my waist, but Uncle Denny just continued.

  “And no deed has been done, because I see the girl still has her shoes on.”

  “Of course she has her shoes on!” I heard Kayden state, outraged. Lincoln was grinning.

  “Unless one of you were in that big of a hurry,” the man hinted with humor in his voice. Their Uncle was now teasing them. I couldn't help but laugh as the guys tried defending themselves while hiding under the blankets.

  “They were good!” I yelled out to their uncle.

  “Geez, young lady, I didn't ask if they were good! Just wanted to know if y'all are still dressed!”

  “The boys kept their grubby hands to themselves!” I clarified, blushing into Lincoln’s shoulder.

  “Well, that's good, that's good. It's six a.m. Monday, and a school day. Best be getting her home. You guys have lessons, and it's only the second week.”

  I heard three groans, and Uncle Denny snorted. “It could be worse. Don't let your Ma catch you coming home late.”

  “Don't you mean early?” Kayden grumbled out. “It is morning and school won't miss me. Plus, both Lincoln and I have a half schedule.”

  I looked over to Lincoln as he grinned at me under the blankets. “It's our last year, Uncle.”

  “So?”

  “So—”

  I couldn't help it, I giggled and called out, “Suck my toe!”

  Then Tyler joined in, “All The Way To Mexico!”

  We were in fits of laughter as his uncle walked away, talking about naïve little children and the consequences that follow when not following the rules.

  I let my laughter lessen, sighing. I was in trouble of becoming attached.

  “Why are we sleeping in the bed of a truck?” I asked no boy in particular.

  “You kept walking away into the woods," Kayden explained. “I ran after you, calling your name, but you didn't stop. When I reached you – you were mumbling. Something like “I'm good. I'm the best. I've only got me.” Over and over. That's when I realized you were sleepwalking.”

  “He took you back to the jeep,” Tyler continued, “but after the third time we all decided it was best to restrain you.”

  “Thus, all of us in the truck-bed and surrounding you," Lincoln finished.

  “It's true!” I heard someone new yell before I could call bull. Even though I had sleepwalked before, I didn't do it now. “You're too dang stubborn! It took all of them for you to stay put!”

  “Raina?” I called back.

  “And me too," Wendy's voice carried.

  “Great," I mumbled.

  “I'm glad you had your shoes on, Daniels. I'm not ready to be an auntie.”

  I blushed as I buried my head further into Lincoln’s shoulder, and Tyler chuckled from behind me.

  “I hate you," I told her with little heat.

  “Aww,” Wendy joined. “It's sisterly-in-law love.”

  “Leave her alone, guys," Lincoln ordered.

  “Anyone know where the bathroom is?” an unknown voice called out.

  I was never doing anything with them again.

  “Quading next weekend, guys?” Kane asked.

  Nope. No way.

  Chapter 8

  When we all got up and out of the truck-bed, I finally got to see whole property. Close to us was a big pile of bricks built up into a circle about thigh high. Inside, it contained the left over ashy wood that had kept the fire burning for last night's activities.

  Further off was the pond, glistening in the pre-dawn morning. There was a small shack up from the shoreline, while a dock and walkway led part way out into the water. Pine trees surrounded the area and were not far from where we were.

  I shuddered at the thought of myself blindly walking towards those dense woods. If they hadn't stopped me, if I had only realized...I shook my head, not finishing the statement. I couldn't have known that my childhood case of sleepwalking had surfaced again.

  I could barely comprehend that I had bawled my eyes out against Lincoln's shoulder.

  I looked over towards him as he and his brothers got out of the truck and went to talk to the other people who had stayed as well. Staring at him, our eyes met briefly, and I saw the questions burning in them. I looked away.

  I was upset at myself. I was mad that I had let my emotions get away from me, and that he had been there to see it. What were these guys doing to me? Why was I feeling like this? Did Brady even know where I was? I'm sure he did, but I was betting that he didn't like the idea that I stayed out all night, and I wondered what kind of talk I was going to get when I got home.

  Home.

  I hadn’t thought about a place being home in a long time. They were just temporary walls, or more like I was the temporary child in their home. Either way, I hadn't felt comfortable enough to call any place by that name. It was just a house. I guess with Brady taking me in and bringing me here, I felt like I did have one. Like I wasn't going anywhere. That they wouldn't give up on me.

  I glanced over to the group to see Tyler, Lincoln, Kayden and the others laughing at something that Peter had said. I glanced away, shoving my hands into my pockets. I would need to tell Sarah and Brady about my sleepwalking. I didn't want them getting scared when they woke up in the middle of the night and found me walking around. I scrunched my eyebrows as I looked down to the ground. Why did it come back? I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't see the group come over to me.

  “Are you ready to go, Daniels?” Kayden asked, “We need to hurry and get back. We told your dad that we decided to have a camp-out since you had already fallen asleep. He thinks that you were with Rania and Wendy, so he was fine with it, but he doesn't know that we were here too,” he explained with a smirk, throwing an arm over my shoulder as he walked me towards the Jeep.

  Dad? I hadn't thought about Officer Brady in that way. He had just been, well, Officer Brady.

  Still mulling over that thought, we all said goodbye to each other as the guys and I got into the car. I looked out my window from the back seat towards Raina, noticing a scar on her leg. From the top of her shorts almost down to her ankle, a thin line of jagged flesh. I wondered how she had gotten such a scar, but I knew I would never ask. That seemed to be something too personal to bring up during conversation. Sometimes scars are on the inside or plainly visible on the skin, but just because they're there doesn’t always mean that it's easy or simple to talk about. I felt an ache in my chest as I thought. Some things aren't meant to be told.

  “Who's truck did we sleep in?” I asked as we drove away. I was in the back with Lincoln, as Kayden drove and Tyler leaned back in the passenger seat. He had an arm thrown over his eyes as he tried to doze.

  “Kayden’s,” he said, not moving. “I'm too tired to drive.” I took that answer and sat back to look out the window as we drove. I was trying to avoid Lincoln's questioning gaze.

  I wasn't sure what I had said last night as I cried. It was all kinds of mixed up since I had only been half awake. A blur really, but I was sure he was going to try and corner me anyway so he could get answers, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

  As we drove, a thought came to me. How did they know not to wake up a sleepwalker? Waking someone who sleepwalks could be harmful to the brain and, in some rare cases, it can cause small seizures. If you find a person sleepwalking you’re supposed to direct them back to bed. In my case, my parents had put up a baby gate on the stairs to prevent me falling when I was young, and extra locks on all doors as well as the windows.

  So how did they know that I shouldn't be woken up? Did they know someone else who had the same issue?

  The Jeep had been steady, quiet, since we left, and only the music played. I turned to look at Kayden and waited until his eyes met mine in the rear-view mirror.

  “Kayden?”

  “Yes, Daniels?” he answered with a smirk.

  “How did you know not to wa
ke me?” By this time, I had Lincoln's and Tyler's attention.

  Kayden's eyebrows scrunched up at my question, “Raina. She said someone once told her that. So we didn't.”

  I nodded and sighed as I looked back out the window. “She was right.”

  “I'm sorry about last night,” he went on as he drove, “about asking if you’re Brady's daughter or not. It wasn't my place.”

  My breath caught, and I swung my accusing eyes towards Tyler, who sat up promptly and quickly smacked the back of Kayden's head.

  “Hey!” Kayden cried out as he cringed and glanced over to glare at his brother. “What was that for?”

  “You told!” I yelled as I leaned toward Tyler, giving him my own head smack. What an idiot of me to confide in him, I thought as Lincoln pushed me back into my seat. “Hey- hey- hey, calm down, will you?” I folded my arms and glared at no one in particular.

  “You're an idiot, Kayden," Lincoln stated, looking at his brother, echoing my own thoughts. Then he grabbed my hand. “Don't be too mad at my brother. We knew you must have been adopted because the Bradys didn't have children, and the timeline didn't add up. We just didn't know how long you were in foster care for. Don't be mad, ok?”

  I glanced over at our joined hands, and then looked up at him. I swallowed, pulling my hand away. “So last night when I was crying, that's why you were so understanding, because you knew.”

  “That you had a rough time in foster care, yes. But what you were talking about, I didn't have a clue.”

  “Wait a minute," Tyler said, turning around, looking at both of us. “You cried last night?”

  I folded my arms and turned my head back out towards the window. Deflecting, I said, “So quading next weekend, huh?”

  ***

  I arrived back home and gave the guys a half wave as I walked up to the door. Tyler had said that he would be back to pick me up in two hours for classes. That only gave me so much time to explain where I had been all night to Brady, and get ready before he came back.

  I quietly opened the door, making sure that it didn’t slam shut behind me. I had only made it to the bottom of the stairs when Sarah appeared at the top. She was freshly showered, probably because she usually ran early in the mornings.

 

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