The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  A hint of a smile appeared on Brownstone’s face. “Keep this shit up, and I might actually respect you. So, you gonna help save them?”

  Tyler stood. “Let me go take care of something, and I’ll come back to discuss this in a few minutes.”

  Brownstone nodded.

  A minute later, James pulled out his phone. Tyler had sources, and so did he. The bounty hunter pulled up his contacts list and prepared to call Heather.

  He sighed.

  Nah. She’s just getting some time with her son. If I pull her into this, it’s not fair to him.

  James dialed Peyton instead.

  “Good evening, Herr Brownstone,” the hacker responded in an awful German accent. “To what do I owe the pleasure on this fine LA night?”

  That guy’s a good hacker, but damn is he obnoxious at times.

  “Do you know where Shay is?”

  “I thought she was looking into that museum with that cop, Hall.” The fake German accent had disappeared.

  James grunted. “Look up the fucking news for LA.”

  Peyton sighed. “It’s late at night, and I was in the middle of something. One second.” He hissed. “Shit, this isn’t good.”

  “I tried calling her, but I can’t get her. I need you to figure out if she got taken out of the museum and where she is. Just get the location, and I’ll do the rest.”

  Peyton took a deep breath. “Full scourge mode?”

  “If I need to. Maybe just showing up will convince the fuckers to surrender.”

  “Okay, I’m on it. I’ll call you as soon as I know what’s up.” The hacker ended the call.

  James’ hand drifted to the amulet underneath his shirt.

  You’re always wanting me to kill people. Guess you’re gonna get your wish soon.

  The bounty hunter took several deep breaths, clenching and unclenching his fists. He needed a target for all his frustration and building emotions.

  Several minutes later, Tyler opened the office door and strolled back in. “Okay. I’ve closed the Black Sun. Everyone got a free drink, along with a credit for a few others, and were asked to leave. Kathy’s going to close up for me, and she’s trying to do damage control on rumors.”

  “Rumors?”

  The information broker smirked. “Yeah. Apparently, they all think we’re concocting another pay-per-view event or a way to get your girlfriend more pissed off at you. A couple of others had more colorful theories.”

  “Like what?”

  “That I’ve fallen in love with your uber-manliness. That I’m gay for Brownstone.”

  James chuckled. “When I first met Shay, she thought I was gay because I didn’t hit on her.”

  Tyler raised an eyebrow. “You know, when I first met her, not saying I didn’t give her a little look or two. She’s damned hot, but I wasn’t ready to touch her brand of angry. I’m not the kind of guy who purposely causes myself harm.” He laughed. “Ironic, since you’re with her now.”

  James’ phone rang with a call from Peyton. He held up a hand and used the other one to grab his phone.

  “What do you got?” the bounty hunter asked.

  “According to the video, Shay and Lieutenant Hall entered the museum, but they never left.”

  James grunted. “Never left? What the fuck does that mean? The cops are all over the museum, and they didn’t find anyone there.”

  “Well, that’s what someone wanted us to think, anyway. I was able to figure out that there was a six-minute splice in the video feed, so anyone could have entered or left during that time and we wouldn’t know. I’ve traced Shay’s phone to the police station. Same thing with Lieutenant Hall’s.”

  James’ grip on the phone tightened. “And you’re sure the cops don’t have her? Maybe they’re holding her as a suspect or some shit. I can go talk to them. They might listen to me.”

  “Nope. The LAPD is spun up like a bunch of very angry hornets. They apparently found Hall’s badge and gun on scene. They’re keeping it quiet for now, but I think they’re worried they’re going to find a dead cop soon. Once that happens, things are going to get really heavy.”

  James blew out a breath. “And you’re not feeding me a line? You’re not responsible for that six-minute slice? Trying to protect Shay, maybe?”

  Peyton snorted. “Look, when you called, I was just finishing pizza with my girlfriend and looking forward to a bit of strip Twister. Now you tell me someone might have snatched Shay during some museum heist. This isn’t any more fun for me than it is for you.”

  Strip Twister? How the fuck does that even work?

  James shook his head. “Just keep digging and see if you can find me any clues. There has to be something there we could use. They couldn’t have shut down all the video feeds for that long without someone noticing.”

  “Will do. Don’t worry, Brownstone. I’ve got this.”

  The bounty hunter ended the call and shook his head.

  Tyler's eyes narrowed. “From what I overheard, it sounds like you’ve got exactly jack and shit to go off of.”

  James shrugged. “We know it took them under six minutes to pull off their heist and get away.”

  The other man nodded. “You’re a bounty hunter. I’m the information broker. I’ll see what I can do.”

  Logan paced back and forth, waiting for the video call to connect.

  Why does he also want to do a video call? I hate video calls. Is this just about him seeing me squirm? Fucker. Someday I’ll be the one calling the shots.

  The call connected, and a scarred dwarf frowned at the man on the screen. “The news is interesting this evening, Logan. My question to you is if you recovered the items in question.”

  “Yeah, we got the circlet and everything else, just like you told us to, Tak. Complete damned success.” Logan grinned. “It was almost too easy, thanks to all our…special preparations.”

  The dwarf’s lips curled into a sneer. “Good. You’ll be rewarded for your success. I also heard on the news that four guards are missing. What other complications were there? There are always some.”

  He probably already knows. Is this another test? Fucker.

  Logan shrugged. “Six witnesses. At least maybe they are. We don’t know how long it took before the spell knocked their asses out. Three of the guards went down quick, and one guard was a wizard. He managed a counter-spell, but we shot him before he could do much. He’s still alive, and he wasn’t able to call the cops. We were long gone by the time the alarms went off.”

  The dwarf furrowed his brow. “Six witnesses, but you only mentioned four guards. Who else then was present?”

  “Two chicks we found up front. Don’t know who they are. Weren’t dressed like staff or guards. Didn’t have any ID on them. That made me more than a little suspicious.” Logan shrugged. “Half-wonder if they are private security specialists or someone like that.”

  Tak nodded. “And what do you think we should do with them, Logan?”

  The human shrugged. “We don’t know what they saw. Even with the masks, somebody might be able to pull some magic shit. I think we should kill ‘em and leave them in the warehouse for someone to find a few months from now when we’re all the fuck away from LA.”

  Tak scratched his bearded chin. “A possibility, but I don’t like loose ends.”

  “All the more reason to kill them. Leave no loose ends, guards or women.”

  The dwarf shook his head. “Not until we know who everyone is, especially these women. They might even be worth money. They could be nothing more than idiot tourists who got lost, or they might be someone far more valuable. Keep them alive until you have a better idea who they are.”

  “And the guards?”

  “Find out more about them, but I’ll leave that matter to your discretion.” The dwarf gave him a sinister grin. “Don’t disappoint me.”

  9

  Shay took a deep breath. Timing would be everything for the plan. She could control herself, but she wondered if the cop, w
ho was used to taking charge, would be able to wait until the right time. They needed maximum surprise when an appropriate opportunity presented itself.

  She could make out voices from just beyond the doors. A second later, the doors opened, and two men in ski masks appeared, one with a large knife.

  He pointed the knife at Shay, then Maria. “Boss says to keep you alive for right now, but if you pull any bullshit, you’re dead. Got me?”

  The two women gave shallow nods.

  The man leaned over and sliced the ropes at their feet.

  Maria looked at Shay, and the tomb raider shook her head.

  Not the time, Maria. Not yet. Bide our time until we have a good chance.

  “Move,” the man barked.

  The women scooted out of the back of the van. They were in a large warehouse, as Shay had suspected, with four other identical vans being packed with boxes.

  The men pulled out guns and nodded toward a hallway across the loading bay. Shay and Maria started moving.

  Several masked men were opening other boxes and applying decals to the vans to make them appear to be Andercarr delivery vans.

  Guess UPS should be happy the bad guys aren’t pretending to be them.

  She resisted a snicker. She needed to focus and pump these assholes for information.

  “What’s gonna happen to us?” Shay asked.

  “You don’t need to know that. Just behave, and maybe you’ll make it out of this in one piece. Sorry, chick, wrong place, wrong time.”

  I’m gonna be the one saying that sooner than later, asshole, when I shove a knife into your throat.

  Shay and Maria exchanged glances. There were a dozen men in the room, not counting the two escorting them. Even if they could somehow get free of the handcuffs, the women didn’t have any weapons. Any attempt to break free at that moment would be suicidal.

  They made it to the hallway. Halfway down it, they turned into a smaller hallway and finally arrived at a storage-room door.

  One of the men pulled out a palm-sized golden disk inscribed with the Seal of Solomon. He held it against the door, and it glowed for a second before the lock clicked.

  He opened the door and shoved them both inside. Before they could even turn around, he’d closed the door. The door glowed, and the lock clicked again.

  Definitely not your standard-issue thieves if they have artifacts like that.

  Three security guards knelt around the room. One lay on the ground. Shay recognized him as the wizard from the exhibit hall. Blood soaked his shirt and jacket, probably from the bullet wound in his shoulder. He was pale and unconscious but breathing.

  Maria turned to Shay. “Even if that’s their whole team outside, these aren’t some fly-by-night dustheads looking to score. We’re going to have to be careful about all this.”

  The tomb raider nodded. “Very professional job. If they’ve got one artifact, they’ve probably got more, not to mention whatever they got from the museum.”

  “We need to get this shit done,” yelled a gruff voice on the other side of the door. “We’re on the clock, you fucking idiots.”

  Maria frowned. “The only thing I don’t get is, why bring us along?”

  Shay rolled her shoulders. The handcuffs were getting annoying, and her shoulders were cramping. For all she knew, one of them was in on it.

  “That’s the thing about magic. It can be unpredictable. They’re probably not sure what everybody saw.”

  “Why not just kill us?”

  “Don’t know. It might be they don’t know who we are.”

  Maria nodded to the guards. “They know who we are.”

  The guard from the lobby looked up, his eyes wide. “You’re a cop, right? You have some sort of implant they can track or something?”

  Shay stomped over to him and glared down at him. “Shut your fucking mouth. If they find out who she is, she’s dead, and if she’s dead, you’re going down with her. Understand, asshole?”

  He winced and nodded.

  Maria sighed and shook her head. “We’re on our own here.” She gazed at Shay. “Looks like stage one of your plan is working well enough. Now we at least have an idea what and who we’re dealing with.”

  “Yep. Guns. Low-level magic. All humanoid.”

  The guard yelped. “What do you mean. ‘all humanoid?’”

  Shay shrugged at him. “If there’s magic involved, it can mean anything from a wizard to some weird-ass Oriceran monster who is nothing but nightmare fuel.”

  He looked down. “I don’t want to die.”

  “Then shut up and be quiet while the grown-ups figure out how to escape.” Shay looked at Maria. “As I told you in the van, we just need to wait for our chance. If we can get free of these cuffs and take out one of the guards, at least we’ll have a weapon. Once I have a weapon or two, well, I can use some of the old skills.”

  Maria snickered. “I never thought I’d look forward to that so much.”

  James frowned down at his phone. He’d called the Professor twice, and it went to voice mail both times. At this time of night, Smite-Williams was almost always at the pub. Even when he was drunk enough to bring out Father O’Banion, he usually answered his phone.

  Damn it. I don’t have time to fuck around, old man. I don’t care how drunk you are. Answer your fucking phone already.

  The bounty hunter glanced toward the main bar. Tyler was on his phone, his brow furrowed while he gesticulated wildly.

  We’re both working contacts. There’s no fucking way we won’t be able to track them down. I’m the damned Scourge of Harriken. The fucking Granite Ghost. I can find Shay and Hall.

  James sighed and shook his head. Time for call attempt number three. He lifted the phone, and a call came in from the Professor.

  “Finally,” he rumbled. He hit the button to accept the call. “Professor.”

  “Ah, sorry, lad. I was transfixed by this rather unfortunate spectacle of the museum robbery.” There was a gulp from the other end. Beer, no doubt. “Maybe you were calling on Miz Carson’s behalf? I’m more than willing to pay top dollar if either of you would take on a quick job to track down the stolen merchandise. From what little I’ve gleaned, this is not a good group of artifacts to let bad men get away with. The Circlet of the Lost Gnome King could, in the wrong hands, wipe a lot of people’s memories—like those of everyone in California. And that’s just one of the artifacts.”

  James grunted. “Shay was…” He shook his head. “If you can get me something that’ll let me track the artifact down quickly, I’ll be happy to take the job and take out whoever gets in my way.”

  “Ah, good, lad. I can have something like that in my possession shortly to pass along to you. How quickly can either you or Miz Carson get there?” Another gulp followed.

  Always got to keep the right priorities, huh, Professor?

  James chuckled. “Shay will be in the thick of it, I promise, but I’ll be there as soon as possible to pick up the artifact. After that, I’m off to save Californians’ memories.”

  “See you soon, James.”

  The bounty hunter ended the call and frowned, wondering if he needed heavier weapons than the .45 and the few knives he had in his truck.

  Fuck. I don’t have time to stop off at the warehouse. I’ve got Whispy Doom, and that’s all I really need. If I can take out a Drow queen, I can take on some museum thieves.

  James stepped into the main bar.

  “Any information on the thieves will be rewarded,” Tyler said into his phone. “And I’m willing to pay a premium. Yes. Yes, I understand that. Just get me the fucking information.”

  James nodded to Tyler and motioned to the front door. The bartender nodded back. He grabbed something from under the bar and stuck it in his waistband.

  The bounty hunter couldn’t make it out, but he didn’t worry about Tyler’s weapon choice.

  It didn’t matter. He needed the man’s information. James would take care of all the necessary ass-kicking and ki
lling.

  The former enemies now frenemies made their way out of the Black Sun and to the bounty hunter’s F-350.

  “The famous ancient truck,” Tyler mumbled. “Never thought I’d ride in it.” He chuckled. “At least not without handcuffs.”

  James unlocked the passenger door and then circled around to the driver’s side.

  Tyler settled into his seat and put on his seatbelt. Caution when driving with James Brownstone was always warranted.

  “Where we going?” the information broker asked.

  James started the truck. “The Leanan Sídhe.”

  Tyler winced. “I’ll stay in the truck when we get there.”

  The bounty hunter eyed him for a moment. He didn’t know about any bad blood between either the pub and Tyler or the Professor and Tyler, but considering all the deals that went down at the Leanan Sídhe, he wasn’t that surprised that the owner of the Black Sun might have run into trouble with the other place.

  Right now, James needed all the help he could get, and not only that, Tyler had a right to help rescue Maria. He wouldn’t press him on what the problem was.

  “I’ve got a line on an artifact that should help us track the women,” James explained. “And I can get that from someone at the Leanan Sídhe.”

  “Smite-Williams,” Tyler muttered.

  “Yeah.” James arched a brow and pulled out of the parking lot. Tyler was more well-informed than the bounty hunter had realized.

  They arrived at the pub.

  James threw open the door and nodded to Tyler. “This won’t take long.”

  The information broker nodded back. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  The bounty hunter slammed his door shut and hurried into the pub. The typical thick crowd choked the place, and he all but charged toward the back where the Professor sat with a small box on the table in front of him.

  The bounty hunter didn’t even bother to sit. He pointed to the box. “That it?”