The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  The thugs had threatened Shay and Alison, and they’d killed a cop. He clenched his teeth. This shit needed to end.

  Yes, the amulet whispered. Anger. Hatred. Sufficient power.

  “That fucker is mine,” James growled. “I’ve got protection, but you used up your angel ring, and I’m not letting anyone take what is mine from me.” Tendrils burst from the amulet and expanded into armor across his chest and back, visible through some of the holes in his shirt. No weapon appeared.

  “Let me go, James,” Shay shouted.

  The bounty hunter shook his head and stood. “Smith,” he shouted, and took a step toward Logan. “Are you in charge of all the fuckers we just killed?”

  The other man sneered at Brownstone. “You’re gonna pay for all those men you killed, Brownstone.”

  “Your men have threatened my family twice now, Smith,” the bounty hunter rumbled. “Some shit I can’t let slide.”

  “Fuck your family, Brownstone. Don’t worry, I’ll pay them a visit after I’m finished with you.” Logan raised his gauntlet and grinned. He muttered something under his breath, and a massive fireball screamed toward James.

  Kill the enemy. Defeat the enemy.

  The fireball exploded around James, and Logan threw his head back and laughed. The bounty hunter ignored the slight pain and continued stomping toward the other man, his shirt now incinerated, and the armor obvious.

  Logan kept laughing for several seconds before glancing toward James. His eyes widened. “What the fuck?”

  The bounty hunter continued advancing on the man, death in his eyes.

  Maria motioned her men back. “Oh, fuck, move back. Everyone retreat, and move the fuck back from Brownstone.”

  Logan launched another fireball directly into James and then another, but the bounty hunter kept moving forward, one slow step at a time. By the time James stood in front of him, the other man was panting and shaking his head.

  The criminal let out a nervous laugh. “So you have magic armor. Big fucking deal. Fireballs aren’t my only tricks. Die, Brownstone!”

  He swung a fist at James’ face. The bounty hunter blocked the blow with ease and slammed his fist into Logan’s face.

  The man stumbled back and shook his head to clear it. “Impossible. You shouldn’t be able to get through my shield.”

  James grunted and delivered a vicious combo. Blood fountained from Logan’s broken nose. The bounty hunter caught the criminal’s arm as he attempted a feeble punch. With a quick bend, the arm snapped in two. Logan howled in pain and fell to his knees.

  The amulet radiated joy and satisfaction. Few real thoughts passed through James’ head, only the anger and the bloodthirst.

  James put his hands on the sides of Logan’s head. “You fuckers came into my town. You stole from a museum. You kidnapped my girlfriend. You killed a cop, and you fucking threatened my daughter. You think I’m gonna let that shit slide? You think I’m gonna let anyone threaten my little girl?”

  A sickening crunch filled the air as the bounty hunter tightened his grip and ripped the man’s head clean off. He tossed the trophy to the side and then slammed his boot into the headless body, sending it flying into a wall.

  He growled and slowly looked around, his breathing labored. Dozens of dead thugs lay on the ground, but he wasn’t satisfied. More. He needed more enemies to kill.

  Shay shook out her legs. “Finally.” She shot to her feet and ran over to James. “I’ll deal with that little trick later, but I love you.”

  James snapped his head toward her, anger still clouding his mind and the amulet whispering.

  Anger. Hate. Sufficient power. Stronger enemies defeated.

  Shay held her hands in front of her. “I love you, James. I’m safe. Alison’s safe. Everyone’s safe. It’s all over. The criminals are all dead.”

  He stared at her for a moment, still breathing hard. James blinked, and some of the hatred slid away. The armor retracted.

  “You with me, baby?” Shay whispered.

  James took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. I’m with you.”

  Twenty minutes later, the warehouse was filled with uniformed officers looking through crates and backrooms, and cataloging bodies. The burned-out wreck of the main warehouse resembled a plane crash site more than the location of a police shootout.

  Maria made her way back inside. Although more of her men had gotten banged up, this time it was nothing serious. She was more than a little sore, but the painkillers were hiding it well enough.

  She spotted Shay in the corner talking to an officer. Brownstone stood by himself down the hallway, frowning.

  Yeah. After what I just saw, I think I’ll leave him be for now. I wanted to unleash the beast, and I got exactly that.

  The AET lieutenant made her way over to Shay as the other officer departed.

  Maria cleared her throat. “Still cataloging crap, but even ignoring all the artifacts on those guy’s bodies, there’s a bunch of stuff in some back rooms. No one was seriously injured on the good guys’ team.”

  Shay chuckled and rubbed her neck. “I’m more of a gray gal than a good guy.”

  The cop shrugged. “Whatever.” She nodded toward Brownstone. “What the hell was that?”

  The tomb raider furrowed her brow. “What do you mean? His armor?”

  Obvious concern radiated off Shay.

  Maria sighed. “I don’t give a shit about whatever magic armor he was using if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve always assumed he used more than a few artifacts. No one’s that badass naturally.”

  “What are you asking about, then?”

  A look of relief spread over Shay’s face, and Maria’s cop instincts almost made her want to ask more about the armor, but she decided against it.

  “I’ve seen him beat down people before, some pretty viciously, like King Pyro.” Maria shook her head. “But he was operating on a whole other level of anger there. I mean, he ripped a guy’s head off, for crying out loud.”

  Shay sighed. “These guys threatened to hurt Alison. It…pushed him over the edge. That’s also why he beat down King Pyro. He did the same sort of thing. James redefines overprotective. I don’t know how we got through that trial without him throwing the other lawyer through a wall.”

  The cop slowly nodded. “I feel sorry for anyone who tries to date her, and her trying to date anyone.”

  The tomb raider snorted. “The little princess has James wrapped around her finger. She knows how to handle her big, overprotective daddy over there. It’s when someone else is threatening her.” She sighed. “Or me. That’s when James loses his temper.”

  Maria looked back at Brownstone. “That why you stayed out of it?”

  A hint of something crossed Shay’s face, but the cop couldn’t quite identify it.

  Shay shrugged. “James told me to stay back, and I couldn’t argue with him at the time.”

  “You let him tell you what to do? You don’t seem like the type.”

  The tomb raider smirked, but after a moment she sighed. “No, really, I couldn’t argue. He…did something to freeze my legs. He didn’t want me in the way when he took that asshole out.”

  Maria frowned. “’Did something?’ Magic?”

  “Something like that.” Shay chuckled.

  “What’s so funny?”

  The tomb raider pointed at James. “These assholes just kept riling him up by threatening me and then Alison. The criminals should have just kept their mouths shut, especially about his daughter. They might have stood a better chance that way.”

  Maria nodded and looked at James and Shay. “I know you joked about the lawyer, but what do you seriously think would have happened if the government had blocked his adoption?”

  Shay let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure, but let’s just say that if Alison didn’t want to leave James and both of them decided to stand their ground, a lot of people might be dead. And those two, and I, would be somewhere else.”

  Mari
a patted her on the back. “Well, I’m glad you’re here, Shay.” She smirked. “I should go to museums with you more often. Seems like they’re more interesting than I ever would have guessed.”

  The two women shared a chuckle.

  Tak sighed and leaned back in his chair. Logan’d had his faults, but the man and those under him had been very useful for jobs and the cause in general. The loss of trained men and artifacts was devastating, but he would explain it to the Council somehow. He just had to think of the right angle.

  “The most important artifacts made it through. I’m sure that if I tell them, they’ll understand.”

  “No, we won’t,” a hollow, raspy voice whispered in his ear. “But thank you for your service.”

  The dwarf’s heart galloped. He spun in his seat, but his head melted before he could turn around.

  Smite-Williams sat at his desk, a bottle of beer in front of him as he looked down the list. They’d recovered ninety percent of the artifacts, but several of those that concerned Correk hadn’t been found. Now, with all the thieves dead, there wasn’t anyone to question.

  The old man let out a long sigh. He’d been in the fight against the darkness for too long to begrudge a partial victory.

  He took a long draw from his beer. “Whoever is behind this took a hell of a bloody nose. Good enough for now. No point in bothering the lad and Miz Carson to go looking for something that’s long gone. I’ll enjoy my half-loaf.”

  25

  “Watch the wood,” James reminded. “Watch your meat.”

  He had to admire the focus of the Camp Brownstone men. They’d managed to keep their attention on the barbeque pit despite the thousands of people milling around the area, and dozens surrounding their tent.

  Shorty laughed. “I don’t think the police want us watching our meat in public. Ain’t that right, Sergeant Mack?”

  Mack snorted and shook his head from at the other end of the pit. “There are kids in the crowd. Keep it PG, Shorty.”

  “I ain’t say nothing nasty. You’re the one with the dirty mind.”

  The men all laughed.

  James grinned and shook his head. He looked at the bounty hunters crowded around the pit, with the various smaller groups responsible for monitoring the progress on the different meats being cooked. It was a solid group of men united in the cause of good food, not violence.

  A light breeze blew in with the scent of salt from the clear blue ocean water visible in the distance. Two palm trees even provided a bit of shelter from the sun. It was a perfect little slice of barbeque paradise.

  Various other teams were all over the area with their own tents, but the mob around Team Brownstone filled James with confidence. People seemed to be enjoying the food as much as his notoriety.

  This shit is going down even better than I planned. No one’s bitching, and all the barbeque freaks look happy.

  James smiled as Lachlan peered at some chicken and flipped it over. A lot of the guys were still waiting for their boss to give them direct orders, but the young hothead seemed to really get into the cooking himself once they had arrived at the Turf and Surf BBQ Championship.

  “Develop good pitmaster skills,” James explained, “and you’ll have something to fall back on if you ever get sick of being a bounty hunter.”

  The men all laughed.

  Trey, Isaiah, and Max stood behind tables handing out food to guests. Their quick hands passed the stiff paper plates filled with meat and sides to hungry-looking people.

  A leggy redhead in a sundress sauntered up to the tent and beamed a smile at Trey. “This is the Brownstone Agency team, right?” she purred.

  Trey grinned. “You’re right about that, ma’am. I can assure you we take barbeque as seriously as we do bounty hunting, and we’re good at both.” He bowed with his arm beneath his chest.

  The woman giggled. “I can only imagine. You strike me as the kind of men who are good at...everything.” She fluttered her eyelashes. “Would you say that’s true?”

  He shrugged and winked. “Never had any complaints.”

  James smirked but didn’t say anything.

  Wish Shay hadn’t needed to hit that tomb raid. I think she would have liked this. Or shit, maybe it’s still too much for her to be around all these people as herself. Too bad Royce’s old CO’s retirement party was today. He would have loved to see the guys hanging out together in a different way.

  The bounty hunter looked around. He was surrounded by good friends, but he had particularly wanted to share his joy in the event with his girlfriend and the Marine responsible for turning a bunch of gangbangers into barbeque-slinging bounty hunters.

  James might have given the boys the chance, but Royce had given them the discipline to make their dream come true.

  A white-haired man in an expensive suit wandered up to James, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Good afternoon, Mr. Brownstone.”

  The bounty hunter managed not to grunt. “Yeah. Good afternoon.”

  “Arthur.” The man extended his hand.

  The bounty hunter gave it a firm but not too strong shake. “Guess you already know who I am.”

  Arthur smirked. “Yes. You are rather famous, or infamous, depending on how we look at things.”

  “So, how do you look at things?”

  The man shrugged. “I think you’re an interesting fellow in either event. You’ve lived such a colorful life, after all, and dealt with villains most of us can only imagine.” He laughed. “When I was a young boy, I used to think about what it’d be like to live in a world of powerful men and women fighting other powerful men and women. I must say, it ended up far more prosaically than I would have imagined. I suppose that’s just more proof that people can adapt to anything. I’m sure you have many fascinating stories, though.”

  Here it came.

  James sighed. “Go ahead, then. Might as well get this over with.”

  “Go ahead?” The man tilted his head, a confused look on his face. “I’m afraid I’m not following you, Mr. Brownstone.”

  “I’m sure you have all sorts of questions about bounties I’ve gone after. That sort of sh…stuff.” James shrugged. “I can’t spend all day talking about it, but I’ll give you a few minutes if you can narrow down what you’re interested in. I don’t really want to talk about the Drow, though. Do you have questions about anything other than the Drow?”

  Arthur laughed. “Most assuredly.”

  James nodded. “Fine. As long as they aren’t about the Drow.”

  “They aren’t even about your more violent day job.” The man nodded at the pit. “Last time I checked, this was a barbeque competition, not a bounty-hunting competition.”

  “Yeah, that it is.” James chuckled and shrugged, some of the tension leaving his shoulders and neck. He was glad someone remembered that he was there as a pitmaster and not a bounty hunter.

  Arthur leaned closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially. “With that elf girl becoming such a big name in barbeque, it has made me consider other alternatives on Earth. I realize that I’ve been closeminded these last few decades, and I despair over that. Accordingly, I’ve decided to expand my horizons.”

  “How so?”

  The man gestured with a flourish. “By exploring the glories of the barbeque of the Far East.”

  James furrowed his brow. “You mean like yakiniku?”

  The man shook his head. “Close. I’m talking more about bulgogi. Have you ever had it? Korean barbeque? I’ve just really gotten into it this last year, which is ironic because I’ve been to Seoul several times and never had it. I’ve made them hire a Korean bulgogi chef at my country club. The man is a wizard.” He frowned. “Well, not a literal wizard, but if you’d had some of his beef, you might believe he is.”

  James nodded. “Sounds great. I’ve had a decent amount of it, but nowhere near enough to call myself an expert. I can appreciate different flavor profiles, but it’s not like Korean barbeque ends with beef. They manage to hit all
the major meats, just like American barbeque. Some things are universal, like the most delicious animals.”

  Arthur rubbed his chin. “You’re more well-informed than I expected.”

  The bounty hunter chuckled, not sure if he should be insulted.

  “Of course, of course,” the older man continued. “I suppose I’ve fallen in love with some aspects of Korean barbeque because cooking it can be a little easier than some forms of American barbeque. Fewer arguments about low and slow and all that, you know? I’m far more interested in the seasoning than the cooking.”

  “Yeah, I get that. It’s all what you want to get out of it.” He nodded toward some brisket on the pit being monitored by TJ. “I want to master one style of barbeque before I even think about trying to go on to something else, and there are just so many options in American barbeque. I can’t even begin to think about trying to hit up all the options in Korean barbeque. Or Japanese, or Nigerian, or whatever.

  Arthur eyed Lachlan as he set some chicken on a plate. “Of course, Mr. Brownstone. I admire your desire for thorough mastery of your current craft.” He licked his lips. “If you’ll excuse me, though, I think I need to compare your chicken against the last Korean barbequed chicken I ate.”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  Arthur wandered toward Trey, Isaiah, and Max as James smiled.

  He grinned. A rich guy, a bounty hunter, ex-gang members, a cop, and countless others. Barbeque crossed all boundaries.

  The woman maneuvered through a roped-off area for the elite patrons, checking her headscarf to make sure her hair was still concealed. The wealthy chatted, either standing or reclining in beach chairs as waiters with trays of drinks traveled from person to person.

  A perky blonde smiled when she spotted the woman. “You made it! I wasn’t sure you’d be able to come.”

  The woman with the headscarf shrugged lightly. “I cleared my schedule.”

  The blonde grinned. “Now that you’re here, you need to hit the Brownstone Agency tent.”