The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

Trey grinned. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Pure James Motherfucking Brownstone.”

  Maria gave Trey a light punch in the shoulder. “Your guys weren’t so bad themselves. I was thinking before I’d have to spend a lot more time with tactical training, but it’s like they’d been in a SWAT or AET team for years, the way they were reacting to the situation.”

  “You ain’t so bad yourself, Maria. I’ll be straight up with you. Some of the guys wondered if you’d be all that without a railgun and shit.” Trey shrugged. “But you don’t need any of that crap to kick ass.” He turned to James. “Do you still need anything from me, big man? I think we’re all gonna head back to Camp Brownstone, clean up, and go relax after that shit. Talk about a long fucking day.”

  James shook his head. “Sounds good. You guys take a break. You deserve it.”

  Maria smiled. “Yeah. Even though I called Tyler, I think he needs to see my face to calm down. Sent me a text earlier about ‘Told you so. This is what happens when you hang around Brownstone. It’s only going to get worse from here.’”

  Shay smirked. “Can’t say he’s wrong. My life used to be…simpler.”

  James grunted at her.

  Trey and Maria waved before walking off in separate directions.

  After the others were gone, Shay shot a soft smile at James. “You okay? I know you didn’t feel like giving the total story to the cops. I’m still not clear what happened at the end. More suit rage?” She held up a hand. “And before you get mopey, keep in mind we needed that shit for you to win today.”

  James shook his head. “It’s something that Council bastard was trying to do. Take my mind over or some shit with that red crystal. I couldn’t hear Whispy, and it was fucking with my head.” He shrugged. “Didn’t matter. Because of you, it didn’t take.”

  Shay winked. “See, James, you need me around to save your ass. Otherwise, you’d grow a beard and become the Evil James Brownstone.”

  “Probably.” He blew out a breath. “At least now we know for certain the Council’s fucking done.” He frowned. “When it was screwing with me, it was making me think about everyone I care about being hurt. Bad shit in my head, even all the way back to Father Thomas.” He shook his head. “But it wasn’t like before in Japan. I know I’m living up to his sacrifice every day now. Maybe that’s why it didn’t try the same kind of shit.” His eyes widened, and his gaze cut to his dog. “What about Thomas for a name?”

  Shay tilted her head and shrugged. “It’s a lot better than any of the other names I’ve heard.”

  James knelt and scratched behind the dog’s ears. “How about you, boy? Would you like to be ‘Thomas?’”

  The dog barked and thumped his tail against the ground.

  “I think he likes it.” James smiled.

  Shay shrugged. “Not too late to call him…what was the one you told me Isaiah wanted? ‘Ass-kicker McGruff Brownstone?’”

  “I think I’ll stick with Thomas.”

  Shay grinned. “It’s shorter anyway.”

  Kathy took several breaths as she polished glasses at the Black Sun. Her head still hurt from lack of sleep, but she was afraid that if she went home, the Eyes might kill her. At least in public, he might be more circumspect. It wasn’t a great plan, but it was a plan.

  Brownstone had called and told her how everything had gone down. The thought that she’d helped save thousands of lives was comforting, but that it might have cost her own wiped out all the satisfaction. She’d grown rather attached to living in her twenty-five years on the planet.

  She’d thought she held up her end up the bargain, but couldn’t be sure now that half the law enforcement in the county was at the amusement park. The spectral information broker might even interpret Maria as a cop. The last thing Kathy wanted to do was try to argue semantics with something so alien.

  Tyler glanced her way. “This is why I don’t get involved in anything unless there is money involved. A clean conscience won’t pay your bills, and if you’re going to die, it makes more sense to die for money than ideals.” He chuckled. “I also could have told you to not make a deal like that with the Eyes.”

  Kathy snorted. “You also told me he was conning me and full of shit. If I hadn’t sent Brownstone to that place, a lot of people would have died. I don’t even know if the AET could have put down He Who Hunts.”

  “And what did you get out of it other than stress?” Tyler grinned. “Nothing you can spend, that’s for sure.”

  Kathy smirked. “Oh, I forgot to tell you.” She pulled out her phone and brought up her messages. She slid the phone across the bar to Tyler.

  His eyes widened. “What the fuck? Am I reading this right? Where did all that money come from?”

  “Brownstone. He said I should have a little reward for helping him, and since these guys were technically bounties, he gave me a piece of the action.” She shrugged. “So, looks like I succeeded even on your terms, assuming I don’t get killed by the Eyes.” She snorted and picked up another glass to polish.

  Her phone buzzed in Tyler’s hands. He looked down at it and chuckled.

  Kathy frowned. “What does it say?”

  “’You pass, little girl. You still owe me one answer to a mystery, and next time the cost will be much higher.’” Tyler snorted. “That guy’s so theatrical he should quit being an information broker and just get an agent already.”

  Kathy let out a sigh of relief. “Not going to die today anyway.”

  “We all die eventually, but don’t worry.” Tyler grinned. “You’re not a real information broker until at least five different species have tried to kill you.” He nodded toward the door. “You look like a necromancer’s failed experiment. Go home and get some sleep. You’ve earned it.” He shook his finger. “Not because you saved a bunch of stupid kids and their parents at that park, but because you did it and made a profit at the same time.”

  Kathy laughed. “Priorities.”

  “Always.”

  25

  The next evening Shay opened James’ door and stepped into his living room. Her man was crouched next to Thomas, playing tug-of-war with an old stuffed sock. The dog growled and pulled until James released and let him have the sock with a grin.

  “You’ll have to do better,” James rumbled.

  Thomas barked a few times and dragged the sock off to his doggie bed.

  James looked up at Shay. “Everything okay with Lily?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, the raid went off without a hitch, and she delivered the artifact to the client. In a few years, because of all those powers, she’ll make me look like a joke as a tomb raider.” She let out a wistful sigh.

  James stood and moved to the couch to take a seat. “Is that a bad thing?”

  Shay sat beside him and shook her head. “Nope. It’s just making me think about the future and shit. When I faked my death, my big master plan was nothing more than to make a shit-ton of money and retire to some island where no one would know me and try to kill me, where I’d live in seclusion for the rest of my days.”

  “Not a bad plan.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe not, but it wasn’t like I was really thinking about the future either. I just was trying not to die. But shit happened, and everything changed.”

  James frowned. “Shit? Seems like things have gotten safer for you. We took out the cartel.” He shrugged.

  Shay nodded. “Exactly. The main people who wanted me dead are gone. I’ve got friends. I’ve effectively got two daughters, one of whom is growing up to be a tomb raider and the other probably a bounty hunter. It fills me with a sick sense of pride as a former-killer-turned-tomb-raider.” She smirked and shrugged.

  James grunted. “Just because we took Alison on some bounties over the summer doesn’t mean she’s gonna be a bounty hunter. She could do anything.”

  “You say that, but she was loving it toward the end.” Shay shook her head. “I guarantee you that she’ll end up a bounty hunter. Maybe not right away. Probably
go to college to find herself or some shit first, but she’s a half-Drow with a badass bounty-hunter father. It’s almost inevitable.” She shrugged. “It’s the same reason I could never settle down to just be a professor. It’s interesting, but there’s a part of me that wants the rush of the challenge, just like Alison gets a rush out of taking down bad guys. She doesn’t even have to pretend to not care as much as you tried to.”

  James rubbed the back of her neck. “I was just trying to make sure she could defend herself. I hope I haven’t fucked her up.”

  Shay laughed. “James, even with your super-amulet, I think Alison’s eventually going to be stronger than you. In some ways, she already is. I wouldn’t worry about her. I’d worry about all the poor bastards she’s going after. She’s got that Brownstone temper.” She winked. “But that’s the thing. Now I find myself worrying less about living safely on some island and more about things like what Alison’s going to do in the future, or even what my big tough alien boyfriend’s going to be doing a few years from now. It’s less about my island and more about you and me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Shay sighed. “Don’t know. I think I need to have a teleporting wizard on retainer. The one time I convince myself it’s okay to go away, I leave, and then I rush back to find you blowing up an amusement park.”

  James grunted. “Only part of it.” He shrugged. “But it’s not a big deal. We cleared out the last of the Council. Shit, the park wouldn’t even take my donation, so it was a good payday.”

  “They wouldn’t?” Shay arched a brow. “You didn’t tell me that.”

  “They called when you were talking to Lily.” James chuckled. “Turns out they already had ‘extraordinary magic damage’ insurance. They did ask me if I’d do some promotional stuff for them, maybe even be a guest for a Brownstone Day.”

  Shay smirked. “Really, now? And what did you tell them?”

  James shrugged. “That I wasn’t interested. I don’t want to sit around at some amusement park signing fucking autographs all day.” He nodded at Shay. “I also don’t want you thinking you need to babysit me. I’m a big boy. I don’t need diapers or a nanny. Even a hot one.”

  “I know you can take care of yourself.” Shay ran her tongue along the inside of her mouth. “Look, how about a compromise? I bet your relationship podcast is always talking about compromises, right?”

  James nodded. She had him there.

  “I just want everything to calm down.” Shay smiled. “I’ll take a month off tomb raids. We can spend time together, walk the dog, and have a lot of steamy, exhausting sex.”

  James perked up. “Not saying that’s a bad thing.”

  Shay grinned. “Yeah, thought so. I’ll have Peyton concentrate on finding lower-level raids to help Lily build up more solo experience in her own name, maybe even a few in the Aletheia name, too.” She stood and sauntered toward the hallway. “For now, though, I’m gonna take a shower. After that, I’ll give you a little Happy Fun Land experience in the bedroom.”

  James rose and scooped her up into his arms, and she yelped.

  “Save the shower for after,” he rumbled.

  The woman stared at the screen, frowning as she fast-forwarded through footage of James Brownstone and his bounty-hunter army destroying the Council mutants and wizards who had invaded the amusement park. This whole thing was a waste of her time. She had better things to do than worry about some bounty hunter celebrity. She didn’t even know why she’d been sent the footage.

  Her eyes widened and she stopped the fast-forward, rewound, and played the footage again at normal speed. Her heart pounded and she swallowed hard as she watched James in his armor form, leaping into the air and firing energy blasts.

  “No, no, no. It can’t be.” She leaned back and placed her hand on her chest, taking deep breaths.

  Every damned government on the planet had this footage, and they hadn’t done anything to Brownstone. That meant all the programs the Earth governments had developed to prepare them for this very scenario were complete failures.

  America’s Project Ragnarok, Project Nephilim, and the Fortis group were supposed to be some of the most knowledgeable when it came to extraterrestrial threats, but as far as she could tell, they weren’t even looking in Brownstone’s direction, assuming he was just another bounty hunter with a nice artifact. The next in line, including the Chinese, British, Indians, Japanese and Russians, didn’t care either. The Japanese were even unofficially happy that he’d helped them with the Harriken.

  There was only one explanation. They had no idea of the true nature of the creature calling itself James Brownstone, which meant the Earth governments had developed no countermeasures.

  How long had the monster been adapting to Earth defenses, or Oriceran defenses for that matter? The famous Brownstone had fought everyone from gangsters to Drow queens. He might very well be one of the most experienced of his kind ever.

  She took several deep breaths and straightened in her chair. It wasn’t a time to panic. This was her job, and if the people of Earth didn’t know what Brownstone was and hadn’t attacked him yet, there was still time. She could surprise him before he reached his true potential.

  Her slender hand reached into her desk, and she pulled out a thin silver square. She rubbed the square, and a glowing display appeared, symbols flowing past her ocular implants. Nothing any human could ever hope to understand.

  With the help of a few quick visual commands, she initiated transmission mode. It’d been a long time since she had spoken her own language. The words came slowly and haltingly but were clear enough.

  “This is Sentry 7921. I will transmit the corroborating data soon, but I hereby report that a Vax Forerunner is present on Earth and operating at least at extended advanced levels. I will shortly be initiating a class-two containment protocol. There is no evidence at this time that any authorities on Earth recognize the threat, and per standing orders, I will handle the matter discreetly and eliminate the Forerunner.”

  The woman paused the playback, staring at James mid-swing against He Who Hunts. “So you’ve adapted your strategy, huh? Tested Earth’s defenses by pretending to be a bounty hunter?” She narrowed her eyes. “I never thought a Forerunner would be so subtle, but it doesn’t matter. I won’t let you take this planet no matter what it takes, you Vax monster.

  “I swear I’ll destroy you, James Brownstone.”

  FINIS

  Author Notes - Michael Anderle

  October 2, 2018

  First, THANK YOU for reading not only this book but these Author Notes!

  We have embarked on an effort to streamline our production and to do that, I now have to write author notes “days” in advance (well, two weeks) from the book coming out.

  I’m kinda afraid of the newness of this.

  In my mind, I’m wondering what happens if something goes on between when I write THESE author notes, and the book actually releases? Then I slap myself upside the head and say ‘just put the info in the NEXT set of author notes you write.’

  That was so obvious, my wife didn’t even have to point it out to me.

  So, I was talking with a collaborator last week about The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone and how this series must finish. Not with him running into the night never to be seen again – but ready to allow his daughter and her new series to take center stage.

  The future is STELLAR!

  CHRISTMAS SUCKS… BECAUSE I’M IMPATIENT

  So, I’m usually crap at getting presents for Christmas. I’m that last guy in the store, running around frantic, noticing the boxes for the cologne and perfume giveaways have been ripped apart.

  When the salespeople notice my eyes, they shy away—not that I blame them. They just had a hella-harsh day, and now, mere seconds before they close, a younger me was coming through the store like a zombie looking for fresh meat.

  I just want to apologize to all of those salespeople who have had to deal with me in the past. Also, I’d
like to apologize to my family. I know some of those gifts were pretty bad.

  The OTHER side of this coin was that when I was a good Michael and purchased my gifts at least two weeks ahead of schedule, they didn’t suck. When that occurred (hey, stop laughing! It did occur!) I would gnaw on my lips, waiting impatiently to give them their gift.

  I was like a two-year-old who couldn’t stop telling my family to guess what their gift was. I enjoy life just a little bit more now that I don’t suffer from this malady nearly so much.

  ALL OF THAT TO SAY…

  It sucks to know what is coming with the rest of Brownstone, and to not share it with you!

  But it is cool. There WILL be one more sacrifice on the team, but you will be ok with it.

  I promise.

  NEW BOOKS COMING SOON in Oriceran

  Be on the lookout for The Daniel Codex by Judith Berens – Hitting you October 30, 2018.

  Ad Aeternitatem,

  Michael Anderle

  Brownstone on Audio

  Have you heard the audiobooks for this series? Book one, Feared by Hell is available now.

  Order Now at Audible or Amazon

  Books by Michael Anderle

  For a complete list of books by Michael Anderle, please visit

  www.lmbpn.com/ma-books/

  All LMBPN Audiobooks are Available at Audible.com and iTunes. For a complete list of audiobooks visit:

  www.lmbpn.com/audible

  Other series in the Oriceran Universe:

  SCHOOL OF NECESSARY MAGIC

  SCHOOL OF NECESSARY MAGIC: RAINE CAMPBELL

  ALISON BROWNSTONE

  THE DANIEL CODEX SERIES