by K. I. Lynn
I noticed that his left hand gripped the door frame so hard he was leaving indentations. Probably to keep himself from doing something he thought we would both regret.
Wanting to help him out, I opened up my towel, exposing my naked body. The reaction I received had me panting for him. His movements sped up; groans and moans slipped passed his lips along with the dirty words I loved to hear.
“Touching yourself in the shower, my horny, dirty girl? Making me so hard I can’t think straight!” he hissed, his hand furiously pumping his cock. “I want to shove my dick so deep, baby. My little fucking cock tease.” He licked his lips and took a deep breath, then steadied himself with his hand on the doorjamb. “You’re dirtier than anything that can be washed off, that’s how much of a filthy little slut you are for me. Only for me. Need another shower? Huh? Too bad. You’re not getting one, not after what you just did to me. You’re going to watch me and drip. That’s what my girl gets. That’s what I’m going to give you – a throb, an ache so deep it never goes away.”
His jaw was tight, and his face wild with lust, his body almost shaking as his urges took over.
Heat moved through me, my face hot, lips parted as my breathing became more labored. My nipples tightened from the air and from his eyes as they greedily devoured me. It was intoxicating to watch his fist move up and down his shaft, twirling a bit at the head. My pussy ached with how much it wanted him.
He threw his head back, curses streaming from his lips, as hot streams erupted from the head of his cock and landed on his shirt. His body relaxed against the wall, breath coming out in heavy pants. I’d never watched a man do that, and it was so sexy I couldn’t take my eyes off him or the moisture seeping into his shirt.
My heart raced in time with my throbbing pussy. Fuck, he was going to kill me. I’d have a heart attack soon if he didn’t take me.
He dropped his head and gave me a look of relief mixed with his cockiness since I was gaping at him, and then he moved to the bathroom to clean up while I headed toward the bed. I sat down on the edge and fanned my face in an effort to cool down, but it didn’t help as my whole body was in flames.
I lay down on the bed and shut my eyes in an attempt to concentrate on something other than the imagery of Nathan coming, but it wasn’t working.
I heard a groan come from somewhere near the bathroom, then a click sound before I felt the soft breeze of the fan.
“Dinner’s almost done,” he said in a gravelly voice before his footsteps retreated.
The fan helped. His fuck-hot voice did not.
CHAPTER 12
It was a session of epic proportions. One sentence I thought seemed so innocent blew up.
“I understand it’s in his nature to be dominating and in control, but I can’t let someone else control me and what I do.”
I had no problem when Nathan wanted to control in the bedroom. It was outside that I had a problem. I’d been controlled growing up; I wasn’t going to stand for it as an adult.
Nathan became very defensive when his control issues were brought up. He didn’t think he was doing anything wrong, but he couldn’t differentiate it in his head.
I mentioned Andrew when he asked for an example. That also did not go over well.
“Andrew is just a friend, he knows me, understands me, and I trust him. He’s helped me a lot.”
“Oh, here we go.” He rolled his eyes. “The always perfect, shining Andrew on the pedestal comes to play. You need more female friends and fewer dicks chasing you around like a fucking tool.”
“You have a problem with my past, but I have to deal with yours? I thought you were friends with him now. You know he’s just my friend. You have no right to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with.” My arms crossed over my chest.
“So, you’re saying because I don’t like you spending so much time with Andrew, I’m controlling?” he asked, twisting my words, his lawyer showing through.
I was having a difficult time sitting still, my spine so rigid it felt like it was about to snap. My legs were coiled tight, either to kick the shit out of him or run away from the conversation – I couldn’t tell which one was the stronger reaction. “You told him to keep his fucking hands to himself when all he was doing was helping me out of the wheelchair!”
“Yes, and? That’s my job. And did you see his face…he was fucking enjoying touching you,” Nathan said between clenched teeth. “Is it wrong I hate seeing another man touching you? Is it wrong for me to want to protect what’s mine? I love you, and I don’t want to lose you. What do I have to do to make you understand?”
I felt like he’d shoved a knife in my chest, the pain of his words cutting me so deeply. My body slumped back against the couch and my gaze moved down to my hands that were twisting in my skirt as I fought the tears in my eyes.
“That’s good, Nathan. You told her how you felt instead of shutting her out like you tend to do,” Darren said with approval. “He’s putting himself out there, Lila, but in turn he’s also trying to push you away. Because he’s afraid if the Marconi doesn’t take you away, Andrew will. He’s dealing with some serious insecurity issues here.”
“I don’t think she’ll leave me, I know she will.” Nathan was fumbling for his cigarettes. He pulled out the pack and fished one out. “I need some air.” Nathan left with a huff out the door.
I sat there blinking at Darren, unsure of what to do. Did I go after him, or let him stew?
“Sounds like we hit some nerves.” Darren turned to me with a reassuring smile. “This is good, though. You can’t put a puzzle back together without all the pieces.”
We ended the session there since it was clear Nathan wasn’t in a listening place.
Darren hated to send us home in that state, but if Nathan wouldn’t cooperate, there wasn’t much we could do. He reminded us of our need to communicate before we headed out the door.
We didn’t talk on the way home, mostly because we were both still heated from our session and thinking things over. When we reached my condo, I headed to the shower while Nathan went to make dinner. I couldn’t wait for my cast to be off so I could go back to morning showers. My hair was always still wet when I woke up, but it took too much time, thanks to my limited mobility, to do it in the morning.
“Can I help?” I asked as I hobbled into the kitchen, fresh out of the shower, a few minutes later.
“Yes, you can make yourself comfortable in that seat right there,” he said, directing me to the table.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “I want to help make dinner.”
“I have it covered. Please just sit down.” His voice was tight, the tension quite thick.
He turned back to the spaghetti, while I set one crutch against the wall and hobbled toward the fridge where I knew a bottle of wine was sure to still be hiding. Spotting it in the back, I pulled it out and placed it on the counter. I felt his eyes on me as I located the corkscrew and opened the bottle. I then moved over a few feet and pulled down a wine glass from the cabinet.
He closed the gap between us, stopping right in front of me. “What the hell to you think you’re doing?”
“I’m having a glass of wine—what’s it look like?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. You’re still on some meds and you can’t have it.” He took the glass from my hand.
“Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do? I want a glass of wine after the day I’ve had, and I’m going to fucking well have it!”
He hit his boiling point; his arm swung back and threw the glass against the wall. It shattered into tiny pieces before falling all over the tile floor.
I quirked my brow, my eyes locked on his. I stretched out my arm, grabbed the bottle, tipped it back, and took a large sip. Nathan stepped back and dug his fingers into his neck in agitation as he paced in front of me.
I took another sip.
Mmm, good wine.
I stared back in defiance when he stopped in
front of me, taking another sip. I set the bottle down and reached up again for another glass.
Before my hand reached the stem, Nathan’s hands were on my waist. In seconds I was seated on the counter. Once my disorientation cleared, my hand reached up and slapped him across the face. Our eyes locked and my body was buzzing, electricity radiating off him. It felt like I was coming alive in our fight.
Without warning his lips were on mine, hard and so delicious, but I knew it wasn’t what either of us needed. I pushed back against his chest, creating space between us. He stared back at me, and we continued our battle for control. My hand connected with his cheek again.
“Again,” he said when he brought his face back to me. I did. “More.”
My hands switched and my chest tightened as I repeated, then I lowered my hands and began pounding on his chest. His hands grabbed my wrists, halting my movements as tears slid down my cheek.
He pulled me close to where his chest was flush with mine. “I’m sorry, baby.” He pressed his lips to my neck. “So sorry.”
My hands fisted into his shirt. “I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Lila,” he said, his lips trailing up my neck to my lips.
“I love you, too,” I replied against his mouth, saying it to him for the first time since I’d said it while doped up in the hospital.
He froze, his lips still attached to mine. He pulled back, the look on his face intense, grave as he realized the magnitude of my declaration. His eyes darkened and then he kissed me again.
His hands roamed under my shirt, setting my skin on fire, grabbing me, pulling my body closer. My fingers tangled into his hair, body arching into his, loving the feeling of him mashed against me.
My head was clouded, lost in my lust for him. I never wanted him to stop, never wanted to have his hands leave my skin, his lips abandon mine.
A fizzing sound filled my ears, and I turned to find the pot of pasta spilling over onto the burners.
“Shit!” He released me and rushed over to remove the pot from the heat.
The distraction brought us back, clearing our heads. He helped me down from the counter, and I moved to sit at the table as he finished preparing dinner.
We were getting so close to having what we wanted. I could see the proverbial light at the end of our twisted tunnel.
I sat out on the patio of Nathan’s condo, enjoying the sun and the scenery. He really did have a spectacular view of the city, much better than mine. Erin picked me up from work and wanted to show me the progress that was made on Nathan’s…remodeling.
I was shocked when I clamored in to find one half of the entry with smooth, white walls and the other showing the studs. I was told a little more about the destruction he caused, but I was not prepared to see the results. The pain he was in was almost palpable weeks later; it was evident in the few sparse pieces of drywall that remained.
Erin had been none too pleased when she showed me the mess he had created in the living room about a week prior. The destruction I witnessed was the evidence of Andrew’s offer to stay with me that night. The only night Nathan wasn’t with me since the accident.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Erin asked as she handed me a glass of lemonade and sat in the lounge chair next to me.
I sighed. “Just, thinking about Nathan and me.”
“I think things are going well.”
“You do, huh?” I asked with a small smile before I took a sip of the sweet, tart drink.
“Yes. Nate was brighter this past week. I don’t know what happened between you two, but the air seems…clearer around you both.”
“Clearer?”
“You know what I mean.” She waved her hand in the air. “There’s been so much pain and hurt, it made a constant tension, a static, since your accident. Now, though, I don’t know how to describe it. It feels…lighter.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. And, to an extent, things are lighter. We’re both trying, but it’s rough. I’ve never felt so much for someone, it’s disorienting.”
Erin shrugged her shoulders. “That’s love.”
Two words, one simple sentence, equaled a truth that rocked me. I was not only in love with Nathan, but Nathan loved me in return.
It was hard to believe six weeks had passed since my accident. So much had changed between us in that time. I still didn’t know what to call us or our relationship. It was all a bit confusing, but only if I thought about it. Doing it, being in it, loving him, was simple and easy. It was all the baggage we both came with that caused the greatest hurdle. We were both struggling, with Dr. Morgenson’s help, to get better, and we were making progressive strides through the muck.
We became pretty self-sufficient again with my limited but gained mobility. He was still staying in my condo, his all but abandoned, and sleeping in the same bed. We stopped putting up the invisible barrier in the bed and often fell asleep holding hands or touching in some way. We also woke up snuggled in each other’s arm. I was beginning to feel so much warmth and security there, it scared me, but I tried to push the fear away.
Sarah, Teresa, Erin, and Caroline still helped out on occasion, especially with doctor’s appointments and taking me home from work.
Caroline was reluctant to welcome Nathan back in the fold. She didn’t trust him with me but was giving him the benefit of the doubt for my sake. She was watching him like a hawk though.
There were occasional dinners that popped up in my condo from time to time. One time there were three dinners that showed up. Needless to say, we were eating well. It was a good thing since I’d lost almost ten pounds through everything, and all the food was helping me to put it back on.
I spent my first three weeks back to work as part-time. Owen was doing a great job. He was a fast learner and a great help to Nathan and me. Hopefully they’d keep him in the position, for a little while at least.
When Jack Holloway called both of us into his office on my last part time day, I thought it was to discuss how things were going and to find out what Owen would be doing. Now donned with crutches, I hobbled through the door Nathan held open and we both made our way to the plush leather chairs sitting in front of Jack’s desk.
“Well, it’s been three weeks since you returned, Delilah, how are you feeling these days?” he asked.
I stowed the crutches beside me. “Better, and even more so when I get this cast removed.”
“Good. Very good. I remember when Nathan was the same,” he said with a nod. “How are you two doing?”
My brow scrunched at his question. “Well, we still have mountains of cases on our desks.”
“I don’t think that’s what he’s asking,” Nathan said. I turned to find him staring at Jack, an inquisitive look on his face. Jack smiled back. “Jack?” There was a pause as they looked at one another. Nathan rubbed his face and groaned. “He knows.”
“Knows?” I asked before realization dawned. I turned to look at Jack who was…smiling. Not the image I had in my mind when I thought of our boss finding out about us.
I had visions of a red-faced Mr. Holloway screaming about company policies and how could I corrupt his son-in-law or something. Though I’m pretty sure Nathan was the one doing the corrupting.
“And here I’ve been freaking out on how to tell you, and you knew!” Nathan threw his arms into the air. Jack smiled bigger and Nathan cocked his head and stared at him. “Jack, why are you smiling? Wait, yo-you didn’t…plan this…did you?”
I turned toward Jack and stared in shock. Was Nathan correct?
Jack continued to smile, a smug expression on his face. “Before you came here, Nathan, neither one of you was living. You both went through the motions, both dead on the inside. I hoped that you would be able to help one another.”
Nathan shook his head, his brow scrunched, disbelief in his voice as he spoke. “You were playing matchmaker?”
I was too stunned to even say anything. He brought us together. The initiator of the non-fraternization policy
in our company.
“Nate, I love you as if you were my son by blood; you will always be my son. I couldn’t stand to see you like that anymore. Watching you push us all away. You were never going to heal that way.”
“But, Sadie and Will… You were going to fire one or both of them,” I said, still slow on the uptake.
Jack sighed. “I really hated to see Sadie go. We were already thinking about altering the policy when we found out. By then it was too late. The good thing is they already decided she was going to stay home with the baby. I wrote a letter of recommendation for her to use in the future.”
My head was spinning. Jack planned it? Put us together on purpose? “Why me? How did you know I was…dead inside?”
An apologetic look flashed on his face; he felt guilty. “It was little things I noticed about you, and one was that you wore the same expression Nathan did when you thought no one was looking. Also, when I received your background check…I was quite disturbed by what I read. Filed for emancipation at sixteen. I needed to know more, so I looked into it.”
I tensed, and my eyes widened. He knew. Mr. Holloway knew.
“Yes, Delilah, I know about the abuse you suffered at the hands of your family. You were broken. I studied you in the office for weeks. It was the little things. You kept to yourself, besides Caroline. You avoided eye contact and shied away from men who bared any resemblance to your father or stepbrother.”
I froze, staring at him in horror. “But, why? Why would you look me up? Dig into my past?”
Jack’s head bowed. “I apologize. I know it was wrong.”
“I don’t get why?”
“I’m sorry. I never intended for you to know I had gone so low, that I ever doubted your loyalty to the company.”
My loyalty to the company? My chest tightened, and I found it difficult to force out the words. “When did you…”
“Four years ago.”
