by Regan Claire
Taking that as the clear sign it was, I invited them out with the gang for a little fun once my shift ended, then went to grab their checks to give them a minute to discuss it.
And to eavesdrop. I usually don’t Temper Air when I’m at work. There are too many sounds and smells and it gets really overwhelming. Of course, I make exceptions when I want to overhear what people are saying about me. Especially hot guys I just invited to hang out with later.
And that’s when I discovered that they were… wait for it… freaking ELFENNOL! What is WRONG with me? When I went back to the table I tried to take the invite back, but Lord of the Sexy didn’t let me. I was pretty sure they didn’t know exactly who I was, though Scowly did pick up on the fact that I was Dunamis (I heard him say that when I was listening in on the convo), and I was even more sure they didn’t know that I had caught on.
At that point it would have been rude to take back the invitation, right? Okay, so maybe the intelligence of that decision would have made up for any rudeness — but where’s the fun in being smart? It’s not everyday two Elfennol deign to walk among the “little people” and have a some fun. I didn’t even know they could have fun. Well, Alexander — that’s Scowly — was pretty typical to what I thought Elfennol were like. Derek though — His Royal Hotness — wasn’t like anything. He didn’t act how the Elfennol were supposed to, and certainly not like any human boys I’ve been around.
Hold on, the phone is ringing.
*****
We hit the halfway mark around two hours after leaving. I was glad we had planneda break beforehand, because at the speed we were going it was difficult to communicate underwater.
I’d taken the lead while traveling to create a Shield ahead of us to keep us from running into any creatures. Not that they would hurt us, but it would slow us down.
Plus, you know, kill the animal.
So I created a cone shaped Shield, which gently knocked any obstacle from our path while we traveled. I expended a lot more energy traveling that way, but it also made things a lot faster, and when we stopped to break and refuel with the Ambrose, I knew I was making better time with them than I had alone.
For our little break, instead of quietly hunkering down deep in the sea, I made us a little bubble, but kept the edges soft so it felt like we were sitting on a giant water-bed.
We sat quietly, passing the Ambrose between us and refueling. I sat with my legs criss-crossed next to Ezra, close enough to touch from hip to shoulder. Our auras were firmly attached, and I closed my eyes to focus on the warm glowing sensation of being connected. Usually, when I needed to be steadied, I only had to increase my Shielding. It worked to help block some of my emotions from coming to the surface, but also made things feel less real, less alive. Ezra had the same effect on me, soothing me when too many emotions were building up, but he didn’t do it by making me go numb. Instead, it was as if I borrowed his calm.
“You do know that the Elfennol will not approve of this,” Lena broke our silence.
“Of what, working with you? I already know that.” I opened my eyes.
“Of you two.” She gave a pointed look at the two of us. “Even if you convince them that uniting over Kaylus is necessary — even if the impossible happens and they stop their feud with us — they will never accept the two of you together.”
I could feel Ezra’s calm snap instantly, though he displayed no outward sign of it.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because of what the two of you are. You know they fear the potential power of the children born of Dunamis and Ethnos. I’m certain the only reason Della has been permitted to live is because of her father. They would never allow her to be with another as powerful as she. She is a force of nature by herself. The two of you together? Why, you have the power of a god if you learn to work in tandem.”
“How do you know it is because of her father? Maybe they trust that she is good, and if they trust her, then —”
“Don’t be foolish, Ezra. That is not the case, and even if it were, they will never feel that way about you. A half-breed Clade and Thanatos? You they will fear most of all, more than your father even.” Lena stood up. “It has been ten minutes. I trust you are rested enough to leave now.” Then she dived through the side of my Shield and into the water, only because I hadn’t created it to keep anything in, only to keep things out.
Ezra and I looked at each other, his face mirroring the worry I felt.
“Excuse me, but do not worry overmuch about what Lena has said.” Ian spoke up for the first time since we left.
“She’s mostly right, though,” I said quietly. My life had been in danger from the Elfennol as well until I had been claimed as Derek’s heir.
“You do not know what the future holds for you. Either of you. I know you will not have heard Della, but Ezra, do you know how Lena became Clade?”
“No, I just assumed she was born one.”
Ian shook his head sadly. “She fell in love with a Dunamis. They were able to hide their relationship for a while, until she became pregnant. Even then, she convinced the head of her family that it was merely a human who had sired the child. But we can see the auras of children once the pregnancy reaches a certain point, and her family knew her words were lies. She never even got to hold her babe, and killed two of her cousins in the struggle to reach her child. Lena came to us shortly afterwards.”
“What happened to the baby?” I knew already, though. It is why my mother ran far away when she discovered her pregnancy.
“He was destroyed.”
“Murdered, you mean,” Ezra said.
“Yes. Murdered. That is the only time that I’ve heard of, as the Elfennol are loath to break their own rules in regards to the Dunamis. After Lena came to us, she made it her mission to find all the mixed Ethnos among our people. She even searched among the humans for those who might have been born of a human or Dunamis mother and not know what they truly are. She protects them, as she was unable to protect her own child. It is how she became an Elder. There were many times when she voiced concern over Kaylus’ treatment ofyou, Ezra, though because Kaylus has always been among the strongest of our people and we have no laws, there was little she could do.”
We needed to leave, but there was one more question I had to ask.
“How did she find them? Those born of a human mother?” Like me, and like Ezra.
“The Dunamis speak among themselves, and each country is made up of several tight communities. It is easy to listen until you hear of a child with no mother, and who exhibits a strange mix of abilities.”
“What do you mean, no mother? The mothers always die?” Ezra asked for me. I was clutching his hand, unable to speak.
“Ezra, I thought your father would have at least told you. Birth is difficult for all, but there is a reason the Ethnos have no stillborn. You instinctively Gather Spirit as you enter the world, through all the hours of labor. If the mother is human, without the help of one who can protect her, she is drained before the cord is cut. It is another reason why Lena was unable to protect her child. Our women are weak after giving birth. She was only given enough Ambrose to ensure her life, rather than the dose necessary to bring back her full strength. Lena also provides help to mothers who need it, both Dunamis mothers and Ethnos.”
Ian seemed to realize we needed a minute to absorb this tidbit and left us. I wasn’t worried about catching up, knowing that Ezra and I were the faster pair, so I let him go.
“I always assumed my father had killed her. I don’t know which is worse,” Ezra said, and I knew how he felt. Perhaps I was better prepared than he was, since I’d always known my mother died giving birth to me — I had always felt that guilt even though I knew it wasn’t my fault. Still, this was worse, knowing that it wasn’t some bizarre accident and that I had sucked the life right out of her, as she was giving it to me.
“This doesn’t change anything, Ezra.” He had to know that, because I could see in his face that it was c
hanging everything.
“How can you say that? Knowing that we… that we’re no better than they think we are! We’ve been stained since birth, Della. We didn’t even have a chance.” I saw the hope die in his eyes until he reached over and pulled me to him. I knew he was reliving every single moment his father had battered into him, making him believe he was nothing without him, that they were the same, that he had no control over his future.
I knew he was, because I was too. I wanted to curl into a hole, because killing your own mother is wrong, and how can you fix that? How can anyone love you after knowing that, and how can you even want it, knowing how little you deserve it? But those were the thoughts of a broken girl, and I couldn’t listen to her.
“We didn’t have a choice, Ezra. Your father did kill her because he could have protected her from dying, just like what Lena’s doing for other mothers. We — we are not to blame for this.” My voice cracked on the words, and I tried with everything I was to believe what I was saying while he just held on tighter with his head buried in my hair. “It’s not our fault,” I said into his bare chest, willing it to be true. “It’s not our fault,” I whispered, feeling hot tears run down my cheek and soak his skin. Because even though I knew it wasn’t my fault Gabriella had died, she must have known what would happen to her without someone there to help. She must have known she would die bringing me into this world and she sacrificed herself anyway. She sacrificed herself so that I could live.
And it broke my heart to know that.
Ezra finally pulled away enough to look at me. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For letting me be weak.” He gave me a small smile, just enough for a hint of his dimple to show, and brushed the last of my tears away gently with his thumb.
“That wasn’t being weak,” I told him, but I knew what he meant. “Besides, it was my turn to be the calm one.”
“It’s good to take turns.” He smiled bigger now, and some of the hopelessness left his eyes.
“Sharing is caring!” I said with fake exuberance. One of my social workers said that to me once and I always wanted to say it.
“Well, there’s something else I want to share with you.”
I was going to say something cute and flirty, but he’d already leaned down to give me a gentle kiss, short and sweet and completely unlike our earlier smooch.
“See, sharing is caring.”
“That’s not what I wanted to share.” His dimple was definitely on full display now, as well as a devilish smile.
“What?” I asked, suspiciously.
He leaned down, putting his mouth right next to my ear, then whispered, “Your fancy bathing suit Shield only prevents me from seeing what’s underneath, and we are very, very close right now.”
It took me a minute to understand what he was implying, because his warm breath on my ear was distracting. When I did, I froze with embarrassment while he chuckled into my neck.
He could feel me. As in, my naked body, which was basically wrapped around him.
Oh my god.
I didn’t even think about it, just trusted a sight shield would be enough. I thought about it for about two seconds, modified the Shield with a little Earth so it wouldn’t be feel-through anymore, then looked up, cheeks aflame, to meet Ezra’s eyes.
“It’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny.” He obviously thought so, judging by his barely.
“You could have told me earlier.”
“You could have pulled away.” He wasn’t laughing now, but his dimple was still showing, and his eyes showed a heat that was matched by my own.
“Yeah, well…” I didn’t have a comeback, so just pushed away completely. “It’s time to go, c’mon.” I dived out of my Shield and into the water just seconds before releasing the Shield around Ezra, letting him get pummeled by the water before he was ready.
Now that was funny. Besides, cold water was supposed to help that, er, type of problem. I swam quickly, intent on catching up with Lena and Ian before they got further away, ashamed that we took so long before following them. I trusted Ezra was keeping up, something I knew for a fact when he grabbed one of my feet and tugged me back, playfully, just enough so that we were swimming side by side. I put the cone-Shield back up, and with the feel of water at our feet pushing us forwards — Ezra’s Loa, no doubt — we caught up to Lena and Ian easily and swam past them.
I almost missed how grueling the trip down had been without the Ambrose halfway through, because then I’d been too exhausted to think past saving Cash. Nothing else could sneak in.
Now, my mind went over a million different things: the true cause of my mother’s death, and the split of the Ethnos and whether I seriously thought they could come back together after all the hurt. I thought of Ezra, and how quickly our relationship— or whatever you could call it — had progressed without ringing any of my warning bells, and whether I was prepared for the way I felt about him. That brought me back to Kaylus, and the coppery scent of blood that I smelled in my vision of him killing Ezra. I increased my speed. He wouldn’t hurt anyone else I cared about.
Even though he hadn’t been the one draining Cash, the man who did was at Kaylus’ command. And that was more than enough for me.
The last half of our journey took a little longer than the first. I could have pushed ahead of the others and arrived sooner, but I could do nothing without Ian, and I needed to conserve my energy in case he needed my help.
I couldn’t afford to pass out.
Besides, it’d be best if I arrived with the three Clades, instead of assuming they would arrive at my cousin’s hospital bed with no trouble.
There was probably going to be trouble. I just hoped Alexander had told my father and gotten a message to my family by now, so they would be expecting my new, er, friends to arrive with me.
It wouldn’t do to get the guy who’s supposed to heal Cash killed before he did his job.
Speaking of getting people killed, I was starting to get incredibly nervous having Ezra with me. Of course, I was even more nervous to have him away from me, so there was nothing I could do about it.
I really hoped my family wouldn’t try to kill my new boyfriend — or whatever — because that would seriously suck.
Chapter Six
I’m back Journal,
Anyway, I considered it my civic responsibility — as a human — to show the fellas a good time. I had to do a few sleight of hands around everyone to hide from my friends how much they (mostly Alexander) were drinking, while pretending like drinking three bottles of tequila by yourself was totally normal to them.
I wonder if Elfennol get hungover, because poor Alex will definitely be feeling it today. He had loosened up considerably after his second fifth. And everyone got a kick out of him when he started singing what I can only assume are ancient battle songs. He has a surprisingly pleasant baritone.
We ended the night on the beach. My friends tapered off, one by one, until it was only the three of us. And Alexander didn’t particularly count since he was trying to dig for sand fiddlers. I was glad my friends had left at that point, because he was digging a mite faster than a human would be able to, and seemed to know exactly where to dig even though the only light came from the stars and the heat lightning in the distance.
Derek and I took a walk at that point, and the things we talked about! I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to hide what I knew about him at first (what does one talk about with an Elfennol?) but by the end of the night, it was the farthest thing from my mind. We talked about normal everyday things, about growing up and knowing your place in the world. We have that in common — I’ve always known my place. My calling. It’s something I’m proud of, and excited for, and know that I was meant to stay in the Outer Banks and be Duxa.
I didn’t exactly tell him that since I didn’t want to spoil the night by admitting who I was. But I did tell him about how people — my dad, really — are worried that I’m not t
aking my future seriously enough. I know my future. I know my role in this world. I don’t see how finishing college, or getting some boring day job is going to help me with those responsibilities. I don’t want or need any of the things those bring me. Derek really seemed to understand. He said he comes from a very traditional family who doesn’t understand his approach to things. They also don’t think he’s taking life seriously enough, just like my family. I’m not surprised his family has a hard time understanding him. The Elfennol are supposed to be very big on control, structure, and respect. Derek’s relaxed approach to life would drive them crazy — at least that’s what dad always says about my behavior, and how it wouldn’t do much to instill our allies’ faith in us.
It’s bizarre that an Elfennol understands me so much better than anyone else I know. We just approach life a little differently than the people around us, I guess.
So there we were, two misunderstood misfits, watching the sunrise over the water. We were holding hands, and I still can’t pin down when that happened. It was natural for me to lift my face to his and kiss him. And when he wrapped his arms around me and returned that kiss — and more — it felt more than natural (supernatural? haha). It felt like a promise for something huge; like a domino had just been knocked over and the world spun from the potential of it all.
Afterwards, with the sand still clinging to our bodies, we said our goodbyes. Neither of us said anything about meeting again.
I know a relationship with him isn’t possible, but I can’t regret our time together. I’ll forever be haunted by the beauty of it — because whatever was between us last night was very real. Just because it was temporary doesn’t mean it didn’t leave a permanent mark on my soul. Somehow, I know it did for him too.
Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.
*****
Since it was December and only a couple days after the Nor’easter that Cash and I had fought the Clades in, the beach was mostly empty when we finally stepped onto shore. I suppose if we’d come with the tides, we’d have run into a few surfers, but we didn’t. I purposely directed us close to where the Nags Head Pier was — or once was, since I’d mostly destroyed it the other day during our fight. The Nags Head Pier was always being destroyed by some force of nature, according to Cash — I just never considered that I would be one of those forces. But I knew Cash’s Jeep should still be parked nearby, and because we couldn’t run at warp speed to the hospital in the middle of the day, the vehicle would help. Ignoring the memories trying to choke their way out of my head, I walked past the broken pier to the vehicle. Cash was one of those supremely trustworthy people — most of the island’s population were — and he never worried about locking his car doors unless it was tourist season. According to him, tourists were basically piranhas in disguise.
