by Regan Claire
“I meant no offense. I only thought it would be wiser if you preserve your own strength. There are others here who can revitalize my energy,” he refused again. I almost let it go at that. Of course there were other people around who could do it.
But I realized I didn’t actually know how to heal someone else, or feed them energy to heal themselves. I couldn’t make up my mind on whether it would be taking advantage of Jonathan to use him as a guinea pig or not.
By that time, Alexander had taken his usual place by my side, and took the matter out of my hands.
“Della, have you had the opportunity to give energy to another Ethnos yet?” he asked, bringing everyone’s attention my way.
“Uh, no. Actually I have not.”
“Jonathan, if you don’t mind, I believe you would be doing our Lady a service by allowing her to learn such a valuable ability in such a controlled environment. This way we may guide her through it, so that when the time comes and someone’s life may rely on her, she will already have the experience she needs to perform her responsibility as guardian.” Alexander made it seem like Jonathan would be doing me a favor by allowing me to heal him. But he was right. There was the ever-present memory from my Reading of Ezra’s lifeless body lying next to his father. I needed to know everything I could to prevent that from happening.
Jonathan bowed his head. “It would be my honor to be used in such a way.”
I saw a little twinkle of amusement in Alexander’s eyes. “We thank you for your service.” Then he turned to me. “Della, it is not the same as making Ambrose, or filling an object with your energy. Instead of putting a piece of yourself into him, you are briefly connecting to each other and letting your energy pour into his spirit. Do you understand?”
“Maybe?” Probably not.
“It’s like charging your phone. His battery is empty. You’re the outlet,” Ezra explained.
That made more sense. “Who’s the plug, if he’s the phone?”
Alexander ignored my bad joke. “To do this you must unShield yourself, and allow your aura to connect to his.
I could feel my senses expand when I took my Spirit Shield down, and saw that Jonathan had done the same as his aura was less condensed around him. I tried to connect, but every time our aura’s touched, mine shied away.
“Concentrate, Della.” Alexander’s voice actually did more to break my concentration. I tried not to growl at him, then went back to the task at hand. Ezra put his hand on my shoulder, and our aura’s connected. I looked at him.
“I think it will be easier if I do it with you, so you can feel it too.” Ezra reached his own aura out, which pulled mine with it until I made the effort to match his movements instead of being dragged along. When we made the connection, I assumed that it would be similar to the joining that mine and Ezra’s auras did when we were together, but connecting to Jonathan felt like the equivalent of holding hands. Ezra and my auras connected with his in a very superficial way, woven together at the edge but not truly melded. Personal, but not intimate. As soon as that connection was made, however, I felt a small surge of power leaving me and the connection was lost. Jonathan was bent over with his head between his knees and Alexander started patting him reassuringly.
“Did we do it wrong?” I asked Ezra.
“No, it just happened a little faster than normal,” he said. “I think we might have overcharged him a bit.”
Jonathan finally stood upright, though he swayed a little until Alexander grabbed his shoulder.
“Perhaps a bit,” Alexander agreed in his typical dry tone. Most people wouldn’t catch that he was making fun of us, but I did and crossed my eyes at him.
“Maybe it would be best if you two refrained from experimenting together until another time,” my father said from behind us. I was usually a hard person to sneak up on, but I jumped when he spoke.
Probably because he had said almost the exact same thing the day before, and it didn’t occur to me that this was in violation of doing that. I wondered if Ezra had remembered.
“Other than a little dizzy, I feel absolutely wonderful. If you need more practice, I am at your disposal. Flesh wounds can be particularly tricky to heal, sometimes.” Jonathan didn’t quite slur his words, but he was altogether too cheerful. The rest of our group joined us, and Lena wrapped Jonathan’s arm over her shoulder and led him away.
“I think he just offered to give himself a flesh wound so you can heal him again.” Ezra looked at me, and I saw the trace of a dimple in his one cheek even though he wasn’t flat out smiling.
“So we can heal him again.” I narrowed my eyes. I was pretty certain he used the occasion as an excuse to experiment with our abilities when our auras were joined.
“Alexander, please gather our people. We have a lot to do, and need to inform everyone here as to our plans. Toby and Connor, will you do the same for the Dunamis here?” My father was still the leader, and didn’t seem at all affected by his new non-Elfennol status.
“We will call every Clade close enough to come, as well,” Ian said.
“Do we have a plan?” I asked. Ezra squeezed my arm, I guess to let me know he was going off with Ian.
“Bits of one. Our House will stand with us, but they need to be part of this discussion. The only time we’ve had this large of a split in the past happened when the Clades first left our ranks. I know it was the only thing to do — Etta was correct that Richard left me no choice. Our people will look to me, and you as their Epiklayra, to guide them through this transition. We must respect how much this decision affects them, yet show confidence that it was the only thing to do. Stay positive, so that they will do the same, yet not blindly so — we don’t want them to think we are unsympathetic or ignorant to the trials this path will have.” This wasn’t the first time my dad talked to me about what is expected of a leader, but this wasn’t a talk to keep in mind for the far-distant future. He wanted me to step into that leadership role now.
“Um, I was thinking more along the lines of actual things to do. I’m better at things.” Like find Kaylus. Or kill Kaylus. That type of thing.
My dad gave me one of those looks. A “dad” look that was all eyebrows and seemed to scream “welcome to the real world” without the snark of that statement.
“So, what will happen to everyone? Isn’t most of Eurybis part of the Leoht house? What about the people from the other cities? Do you keep the city, or…?”
“For now, our people must vacate all Elfennol cities. That includes Eurybis. I’m hoping it will be a temporary move. The base belongs solely to our House. Private property, I suppose you could say. Our family has shared it with the other Houses, but they no longer have any right to it. It is not large enough for all of our people, however. We will need to find another residence.”
“Um, I may have an idea. I need to speak with Ian and Lena before I say anything, though.”
“Of course. Take counsel with your Elders, and listen to the wisdom they have to offer. A good leader always takes into consideration the experience of others before making a decision that will affect her people.”
Oh, yeah. He wanted me to step into a leadership role now because I was already in one. Dang it.
I took a few steps backwards. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be right back.” I turned and jogged over to where Lena was. The now healed Jonathan was using all that excess energy to help build curved benches encircling a small space where I assumed my father would be addressing the Leoht, and everyone else about the immediate plans.
“Lena, do you have a minute? I need to talk to you and Ian about something.”
“Yes, of course my Lady. I believe Ian is with your consort, relaying information to our brothers in the area,” she answered, rubbing her hands down her front like she were straightening her dress. It didn’t have the same effect on the jeans she was wearing instead.
We were all going to talk about that “consort” thing pretty soon.
I sent a little energy into the
ring on Ezra’s thumb, knowing he’d come find me — and hoping he’d bring Ian with him. A couple of minutes later, they both approached where I was standing with Lena.
Ezra raised his brows rather than ask what I needed. He wasn’t actually necessary for the conversation, but I still wanted him nearby so I inched his way just a fraction. He did the same until our arms were barely touching.
“Lena, Ian, my father just brought up something that’s a little concerning. His… my House doesn’t really have anywhere to go. Eurybis is an Elfennol city, and the Leoht House are no longer Elfennol. Dad said something about hoping it’s temporary, since there hasn’t been a split this big since… the original split, I guess. But as of now, they all need to vacate as soon as they can. There’s one place that some of them can go, the base that’s fairly close to here. It’s Leoht ‘private property’ that we’ve been sharing all this time for convenience. But it’s not nearly large enough to fit everyone. Eurybis is the largest city, and most of the population were Leoht. I have no clue how many of our House will actually split, or try to find a place among the other Houses, but…” I realized suddenly that I was rambling.
Rambling was not a good quality in a leader.
“Are you wondering if our own home is large enough to host your Elfennol?” Ian asked.
“Well, they aren’t Elfennol any longer.” I looked at Lena. “The people who will join my father in exile will be considered just as much outsiders as the Clades are.” I didn’t say that they technically were Clade, now. They both knew that, but I wasn’t sure pointing it out would do any good. Besides I knew my father would still carry the mantle of leader for his House, which isn’t the way the Clades did things — better not to verbally confirm it so there aren’t any issues later.
“You must do what you think is best. We chose you to lead us, which means you don’t need our permission for anything.” Lena’s stance widened and her arms crossed, but her tone of voice didn’t betray her defensiveness.
I took a deep breath. “I think it’s best to make sure I don’t put a bunch of people together that hate each other. It’s your home, Lena, and the people there should feel safe. Especially after Kayus nearly destroyed it. I’m not going to put my father’s people with ours if it will cause more problems. The idea is to unite our people, not cause even more hurt feelings.” I’d kept my eyes on her, but now I looked at both of them. “It wouldn’t be fair of me to force the issue.” Ezra was pressed even closer against me. Not on top of me, or anything, but our arms were firmly touching now, where they were just grazing each other before.
“Leaders must sometimes make unfair decisions for the good of their people,” Ian said. He was born a Clade, though. I don’t think he really comprehended what it was like for some of his people, those like Lena who had family or friends betray them.
“It’s not just being fair, Ian. If I’m going to be a good leader, I need to do more than keep our people safe. I can’t, in good conscience, place the Leoht in your home when some of our people have been victimized by them. That’s what many of you are, victims.” I briefly looked at Lena again. “I want to find a way to make this work, and I know that if it’s possible you’ll help me find a way.”
Lena nodded her head. “The Leoht have always been the most tolerant of the Elfennol. Many were cast out, but they are the ones most likely to keep in secret contact with their family members, like your Alexander and his mother. But that does not mean that we don’t have among our numbers victims of that House. I have no personal grievances against any among the Leoht, but I can’t speak for everyone. Maybe I can go home and spread the word; find out who is against it, why, and if there is any way to make it work.”
I smiled. “That would be great, Lena. If anyone has an issue with particular people, maybe we can work something out for them. At the very least, the offending people can maybe stay at the base?”
“I believe that might be a good compromise. I can leave immediately, if you wish.”
“Wait until after we talk with everyone here,” I directed. Lena nodded her head. “Oh, and Lena. I don’t know if it will make any difference to them. But I am still Epiklayra of the Leoht. The Clades chose me, and I will do everything I can to be worthy of that honor — everything I can to protect my people. But the Leoht are my people, too. One day I’ll take my father’s place and lead them just like you’ve elected me to lead you. I know it won’t happen overnight, but the Ethnos will be one people again.”
Ian bowed his head and made the guardian symbol in the air again. Lena, after a moment of eye contact with me, followed suit. I was honored that these two Elders still chose me. Especially Lena, who had such a good reason for blind hatred. In the corner of my eye I saw Jonathan, who was still creating benches near us, create the rune as well, then another Clade, and another, until all dozen or so in the area were doing it. I spun around, humbled. I took a moment to make eye contact with each of them so they knew I saw them — so they knew I appreciated them, and would try to live up to their hope for me.
There was part of me that was certain their faith was misplaced. I was too young, too inexperienced, and one misstep on the fine line I was walking would lead them all to ruin. Just because I had the power to protect them, didn’t mean I had the knowledge to lead them. Then I felt Ezra’s hand creep into mine, his aura fusing with my own, and I knew he would stand by me — that he would help me, and so would my father, and Alexander, and the other Elders. He reminded me that I’m not alone.
When would I stop marveling at that fact? How does a tight rope walker learn to rely on her safety net when she’s never had one before? With them, I can be braver. With them, I can walk out with a head held high. Instead of clinging to the rope, I will fly.
Chapter Fourteen
Journal,
Well, today was illuminating. My lesson with Dad about the Elfennol went pretty well, actually. He wasn’t all ogreish, and was very patient while explaining things. Apparently, when he’s been hounding me about lessons these past weeks, these were the type of lessons he was talking about. Dad wants me to be prepared for the Elfennol — he says they’re incredibly hard to read, and their confidence is hard to gain. I’m at a disadvantage over Connor because as soon as I pass my Testing, I’ll become the Duxa Deare, where Connor has years before Dad will step down. So my father wasn’t trying to be a jerk and underestimate me. He was genuinely trying to prepare me for leadership. I wish he’d actually took the time to say that, instead of just lecturing about my lack of responsibility. Or maybe he tried, and I just didn’t listen. Sometimes I’m so sure of myself that I refuse to listen. It’s time for me to grow up a bit. Me and Dad have our issues, but I’m about to be Duxa. I have to stop expecting him to be awful. I have to trust him, if not as a loving father, then at least as co-leader of the Dunamis in this war.
But that’s not what the illuminating bit is!
I found out who Derek is! He’s the Heir to the Leoht House. Basically the future ruler of all the dang Elfennol! So, I’ll definitely be seeing him at my Testing. Dad told me all about him, because the current Lord Leoht — Derek’s father — is starting to fade, and Derek will be sitting with his father and the rest of the Council during my Testing. He’s being trained to take over. This certainly explains all the family pressure he’s been under, and Dad even mentioned how he worried this future Council member might not be the right person to take over.
He actually said quite a lot on the subject, but I couldn’t make myself respond. I just sat there with my mouth agape and suppressed the equal urges to laugh or cry.
I really hope Derek is a good actor, because if he hasn’t already figured out who I really am, he’s in for quite a surprise.
I also really hope that we can find a way to be together. It’s not often that I’ll be at the Elfennol base, and the idea of sneaking around is an appealing one… It’s also an incredibly stupid one, but so is falling for the future leader of the Elfennol, and that ship has sailed.
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*****
“Della, do you need more time? I believe we are ready to address the people,” my father asked me.
I turned to look at him and smiled. “No, we’re finished. We’re trying to work out a way that the Leoht can bunker down with the Clades. It’s not definite, and may require some compromise or making amends for some of our House, but I think we might be able to get it worked out.”
Derek nodded his head with a ghost of a smile on his face. “I believe our House will be much appreciative of the Clade hospitality, and will be willing to do quite a bit in order to repair our relationship with them.” He nodded at someone behind me, and the recently erected benches started filling with people.
“Do I need to stand here with you?” I was hoping not.
“Not the entire time. But please sit in the frontmost row. It will be easier for you when it is your time to speak.” Derek was looking around, I think to watch and make sure everyone was gathering around.
“My time to speak?” I asked. But he started talking to Alexander, and Ezra gently pulled me to a bench to take a seat.
Laurel came to sit beside me, and I saw Ian and Lena were sitting next to Ezra.
“Why do I need to speak?” I asked Ezra. Certainly he would know.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Because you’re the leader of the Clades, the Duxa, the Epiklayra of the Leoht, and the most powerful person here. I think you should consider yourself lucky that Lord Derek is doing any talking at all.”
“Oh, yes, it all makes sense when you put it that way.” I rolled my eyes. “Hey, you might be as powerful as me. Why don’t you have to speak?” I really wasn’t that bothered by the idea of speaking. Okay, I mostly wasn’t bothered by the idea of speaking. This “leadership” thing was happening a little fast, but everything in my life happened fast now.