by Cindy Kirk
“I’d appreciate it.” Jude rose to his feet. “I need to get some hay to the herd in the north pasture.”
He walked with his cousin on his way toward the house.
“What’d you think of Gabi leaving so suddenly?” Sawyer asked casually just as Jude turned to get into his pickup.
When Jude had been nine, Liam had knocked him out of their tree house. He’d hit the ground with a solid thud, hard enough to knock the air from his lungs. Jude remembered how he felt that day. He felt the same way now.
“Left?” Jude was surprised at how rational he sounded with the chaos inside him. “Where’d she go?”
“Back to Miami.” Sawyer shrugged. “Laurel gave her a lift into Lubbock. We were both surprised she was leaving so soon, but Gabi said there wasn’t any reason for her to stay in Horseback Hollow any longer.”
Jude’s fingers tightened into fists. He focused on breathing. In. Out. In. Out. When he finally had his emotions under control, he smiled grimly. “Looks like I’ll be taking a little trip to Florida.”
“You’re going after her?” There was surprise in Sawyer’s voice.
“Damn straight.” Jude spoke through gritted teeth. “Gabi and I can’t get our...situation...resolved with a bunch of miles between us.”
Sawyer stared at him thoughtfully. “But if she doesn’t want you—”
“Damn it, Sawyer.” Jude slammed his hand against the side of the truck, almost relishing the pain that shot up his arm. “She does want me. But something is causing her to back the hell away. I need to dig out what it is and make it right.”
A ghost of a smile touched Sawyer’s lips. “Well, since you put it that way...any ideas what the ‘something’ is?”
“No,” Jude said immediately then paused as a sudden image of the longing on Gabi’s face when she’d been holding Piper surfaced. “Maybe.”
“Good luck.” Sawyer clapped a hand on Jude’s shoulder. “I hope it works out.”
“It will,” Jude said, because the only outcome he’d accept was he and Gabi together, forever.
* * *
Gabi arrived in Miami late Wednesday night and walked through the bank’s employee entrance bright and early the next morning.
There was really no alternative. Unless she wanted to stay in her apartment—which was in the middle of being fumigated—and cry. No, it was best to jump back into her life with both feet.
The trouble was, it didn’t feel like her life anymore. Battling the traffic on the drive to the bank made her long for the quiet roadways surrounding Horseback Hollow. Seeing the palm trees lining the boulevard felt...odd. And the humidity. Had it always been this oppressive?
Thankfully, her office was a cool oasis and the work that had piled up in her absence kept her mind busy and off Jude. Or so she tried to convince herself. At two-thirty, she decided to stretch her legs and refill the mug of water she kept on her desk.
At this time of day the break room should be deserted, which was an added bonus. Gabi was sick to death of answering questions about Texas and her father. Her dad was doing well, she assured her coworkers. And she agreed that Texas was far different than Miami. Yes, she had seen cows and had even, gasp, ridden a horse.
The hardest was when they teased her about all the hunky cowboys. She pushed open the break room door, blinking back unexpected tears, reminding herself for the zillionth time that walking away from Jude had been for the best.
Gabi stepped back, startled, when she realized the room wasn’t empty. But her disappointment turned to pleasure when she saw it was her friend Faith rising from the table.
“Rose told me you were at an outside meeting today.” For the first time since setting foot on Florida soil, Gabi was glad she was back. Though she and Faith had spoken on the phone several times since she’d heard the news of Daniel’s death, it wasn’t the same as being here with her.
“I’m so glad to see you.” Emotion clogged Gabi’s throat as she crossed the room to embrace her friend.
“I’ve missed you.” Faith hugged her tight and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. “You have to tell me all about Texas.”
Gabi understood the code. Don’t mention Daniel. Not at work.
It had been the same for her when her mother had been ill. Her emotions had run too close to the surface. Any questions, any well-meaning expressions of concern, could set off tears.
“Do you have time to chat for a second?” Faith motioned to the table where she’d been sitting only moments before.
“Absolutely.” Gabi filled her cup with water then slipped into a chair opposite Faith.
“Now, tell me. How’s your dad?”
“He’s doing great.”
Faith leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. “What did you think about Horseback Hill?”
“Horseback Hollow,” Gabi gently corrected. “And it was great, too. A nice little town with a lot of wonderful people. Papi was so happy to have me there.”
“I know you were always close.” Faith reached over and covered Gabi’s hand, gave it a squeeze. “Did Rosemary tell you we had an office pool on whether you’d come back? A lot of us—me included—thought you’d find a rugged cowboy and ride off into the sunset with him.”
“There are definitely good-looking men in Texas.” The lighthearted words were too close to the truth and emotion clogged her throat. Gabi took a sip of water to clear it. “But we both know finding the right one is hard.”
A shadow slipped across Faith’s face then disappeared. “I got lucky. Daniel was perfect for me.”
By mentioning her husband’s name, Faith had eased open the recently closed door. Gabi took a tentative step inside. “How are you doing?”
“I’m taking it a day at a time.” Tears swam in Faith’s eyes. “It’s so surreal. I never imagined my life with him would be over so soon.”
Would you do it again? Gabi wanted to ask. Knowing what you know now, would you do it again?
Faith gazed into her eyes and for a second it was as if her friend could read her thoughts.
“I loved Daniel. I will treasure every day we had together.” Faith met Gabi’s gaze. “If God had told me before we married that I could have him for only three years before he’d be called home, I’d still have walked down that aisle. I believe what a person should fear, even more than losing the one you love, is never loving at all.”
When Faith left to return to her desk, Gabi remained seated. The doctors had told her she stood a good chance of living a long, healthy life, but she knew that was no guarantee. What she’d failed to consider was that no one’s life came with a guarantee.
She’d been angry with Rosemary for not telling her about Daniel’s death, for taking the decision to return to Miami for his funeral out of her hands. Granted, it would have been difficult to leave her father when he’d been so ill, but she deserved to be given the information so she could make the choice herself. She’d railed against the injustice. Yet, hadn’t she done the same thing to Jude?
She never gave him a choice.
Gabi picked up her phone and stared at the screen. Booking a return ticket to Horseback Hollow so soon probably didn’t make sense. Unless you were a woman with a strong, healthy heart who was willing to put that heart on the line for love.
She felt the warmth of the championship ring between her breasts as the airline website popped up and her fingers began to tap.
Chapter Eighteen
Gabi had always enjoyed the energy of Miami International Airport. But this morning she was preoccupied as she navigated a crowded security checkpoint.
Yesterday, after her conversation with Faith, she’d booked a one-way ticket to Horseback Hollow then resigned her position at the bank. Though being without a job was a bit scary, Gabi knew, regardless of what hap
pened between her and Jude, Miami was no longer her home.
She gave her landlord thirty days’ notice and made arrangements to have professional movers pack and ship those items she wanted to keep. Rosemary and Faith had assured her they’d take care of disposing of everything else.
Once those tasks were completed, she’d called her father.
Orlando had sounded thrilled to hear she was moving to Horseback Hollow. There had been a lilt in his voice when he informed her that he and Chico would keep the light on for her. Recalling the reference to a popular motel slogan made her smile even now.
Once her feet hit Texas soil, Gabi planned to call Jude and ask him to meet her at The Grill. She’d figure out exactly what she was going to say during the five-hour flight to Lubbock. But she already knew her confession would include a heartfelt, “I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you.”
She’d just been cleared through gate security when her phone dinged, announcing a text. Gabi heaved a sigh. Her father had been on a texting marathon all morning.
It was as if she was a child flying alone for the first time. He was obsessed with tracking her every movement. She didn’t have to read the latest text to know what it said.
Where R U?
Gabi eased out of the line of foot traffic. Dropping her carry-on to her feet, she relaxed against a wall and texted back.
At MIA. Just cleared security.
Then, because she knew he’d ask, she added,
Heading to Field of Greens for lunch.
Chili dog, fries and large shake?
Hahaha, she texted back.
Good luck.
Gabi pulled her brows together. What kind of response was that? Did he know something about Field of Greens she didn’t? Or was he simply trying to be funny?
For a second she considered asking, but immediately banished the thought. A question like that was practically guaranteed to launch a slew of additional texts.
She wanted quiet. A moment to herself. Which was a joke considering Miami International was one of the busiest airports in the country. Yet, when Gabi picked up her bag and began walking in the direction of the café known for its healthy cuisine, the mass of humanity miraculously parted in front of her.
That’s when Gabi saw him. That’s when her heart stopped. Just. Stopped.
Striding toward her in jeans and white T-shirt with a familiar Stetson on his head was Jude. Her Jude.
She increased her pace, hurrying toward him until she was almost running. When she realized she was about to plow into him, she abruptly halted. Jude covered the last few feet to her.
“Hi.” With sudden awkwardness, she shifted her bag from one hand to the other. “I didn’t expect to see you in Miami.”
He swiped the hat off his head, raked a hand through his dark blond hair. “I’m here on business.”
Her heart dropped. “Oh.”
Gabi told herself she was being foolish. After the way she’d treated him, could she really believe he’d fly all this way to see her? But what kind of business could he have in Miami?
Ignoring the grumbles and muttered curses from travelers forced to scoot around them, Jude hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his heels.
“How about a drink?” He gestured with a jerk of his head to a nearby bar designed to look like a Mexican cantina. “Can I buy you one?”
Gabi experienced a surge of hope. At least he wasn’t in a hurry to rush off. While it might be simply wishful thinking, his eyes appeared more watchful than angry.
She offered him her best smile. “I’d love a ginger ale.”
He put the strap of his duffel crosswise over his body then hefted her overnight bag from her hands. On the short walk to the bar, Gabi resisted the urge to fill the silence with nervous chatter. A hostess led them to a table overlooking the runway and a server quickly took their drink order.
Jude glanced at the bag he’d placed by her chair. “Going somewhere?”
Hoping to lighten the mood, Gabi playfully brought a finger to her lips. “Airport. Suitcase. What was your first clue?”
When that adorable grin of his flashed, the tightness gripping her chest eased.
“I’m on my way back to Texas. Horseback Hollow is going to be my home,” Gabi announced. “Keep your fingers crossed the position at the Vicker’s Corners bank is still open.”
“Last I heard” was all he said.
Her nerves, which had started to calm, began to jitter. Gabi nodded her thanks as the server returned with their drinks as well as a bowl of tortilla chips and sauce. Without thinking, she grabbed a handful of red-and-black chips and popped a couple into her mouth.
Jude lifted the bottle of Corona to his lips. “I thought you didn’t eat junk food.”
She dropped her gaze to the single chip left in her hand and flushed.
“Because of your heart transplant,” he said pointedly then took a long pull of beer.
Gabi lowered the chip, her mouth suddenly dry as dust. She’d planned to ease into the transplant talk, dip her toe into the water before starting to swim. Now she stood teetering on the edge of the deep end where she could be over her head in seconds.
Taking a breath, she plunged in. “I owe you an apology.”
He popped a couple of chips into his mouth then washed them down with another pull of beer.
“I’m sorry. Very sorry. I should have told you about the transplant from the beginning instead of keeping it a secret.”
“Yes, you should have.” Those brilliant blue eyes remained cool.
“I was convinced there could never be anything between us other than sex.” She winced when his face went stony. “I was lying to myself. I was scared.”
“Of what?” Confusion blanketed his face. “What were you afraid of? Be specific.”
Gabi thought longingly of the flying time she’d counted on to organize her thoughts. But she didn’t have the luxury of five hours in the air. Jude was sitting across from her now.
Folding her hands in her lap, Gabi cleared her throat. “When my mother was diagnosed with cancer and given a not-so-good prognosis, the knowledge that he might lose the woman he loved sliced my father in two. I saw a decorated air force officer, a man who’d flown in battle more times than I could count, break down and cry. When she passed away...”
Gabi closed her eyes for a second and willed herself to settle.
“They’d been together a long time,” Jude commented.
“If you add in the time they dated, well over forty years.” Gabi moistened her suddenly dry lips. “Seeing a strong man crumble had a profound impact on me. I started thinking that one in four heart transplant patients aren’t alive in ten years. How could I get serious with any man, knowing what he could face?”
His gaze dragged slowly down to the tips of her hot-pink toenails in heeled sandals and back up again, lingering on the formfitting royal-blue cotton tee. “You look healthy to me.”
“I’ve done well. My doctors call me their star patient.” For the first time since she’d begun her explanation, Gabi smiled. “Not a single rejection episode. I let myself be encouraged by the fact I’d stayed healthy. But recently—”
At her hesitation, concern flashed across Jude’s face like a bolt of lightning.
“Nothing with me,” she quickly assured him. “But Mary, a woman who’d had a transplant around the same time as me, passed away before Christmas. She’d had some issues over the years, but none I saw as life-threatening. Then shortly before I came to Horseback Hollow, Kate—another fellow transplant recipient—called me, distraught. Although she had no symptoms, her annual cardiac biopsy showed evidence of rejection.”
Out of the corner of her eye Gabi saw the waitress approach the table. Jude waved her off.
“Despite my reservations, I convinced myself we could make it work.” Gabi closed her eyes for a second, breathed out. “Then I went to the luncheon at your mom’s house.”
“Piper” was all he said.
“Yes.” Despite Gabi’s efforts to control it, her voice turned wistful. “When I held her, when I saw the look on your face, I knew, I knew, you were picturing me with our child.”
The look in his eyes told her she’d gotten it right.
“My cardiologist has discouraged me from getting pregnant. How could I possibly consider a future with you, knowing I couldn’t give you a son or daughter of your own?”
“When you told me our relationship was only about sex, you spoke the truth.” His voice was heavy with resignation.
“No.” She expelled a shaky breath, gave a little laugh. “I broke my own rule. I fell in love with you.”
With trembling fingers, Gabi lifted the ring hanging from a slender gold chain out from beneath her shirt. “I should have left this behind. I couldn’t. In my mind, as long as I had it, the connection to you stayed intact. Even though we were apart, it was as if you were still with me.”
Jude didn’t say a word but she nearly wept when he reached across the small table and took her hand.
“I don’t understand,” he said slowly. “Why are you willing to consider a future with me now when you were so opposed before? What changed?”
“I realize life comes with no guarantees.” Gabi quickly told him about her conversation with Faith. “I love you, Jude, and I really can’t do without you. Just so we’re clear, it was never just about the sex. Although I have to admit that was pretty spectacular.”
His grin flashed.
“I just want to make sure you understand. Though my cardiologist may reconsider his stance, there’s a very real possibility I might not be able to have a child.” Gabi met his gaze. “I realize how important family is to you. You want children.”
