by Sylvia Ryan
Julia looked at Ben’s face. It was tanned and handsome. Ben had survived his journey the exact same way Julia had, with the notable difference that when he arrived that morning he didn’t have a mark on him. And to top it off, he had made the entire journey on foot, with the exception of the last seven miles when he caught a ride from the Yoder’s buggy.
“Sounds like we took the same trip. What are the odds of us both making it here alive?”
Ben smiled at her. “Pretty high, because we are two bad motherfuckers.” A glint of amusement sparked in his coal-black eyes.
She laughed. “If you only knew, Ben.” She shook her head. “If you only knew.”
“Oh, kitten, I’ve known you’re a bad motherfucker for quite a while,” he shot back in a husky deep voice.
Julia’s eyes widened, and she froze, looking at him.
“Holy crap, Ben, she’s speechless.” Arden laughed.
Julia looked back and forth between them. “You were at the prison?”
“Yep.”
“For what?” She leveled a stare at him that she hoped could somehow assess him for his level of fuckedupness.
“Reckless operation, DUI,” he said more somberly. “I went to a bachelor party and thought I could make it home. I didn’t. I caused an accident. People were hurt.” He looked her directly in the eye, waiting for her reaction. She didn’t offer any.
Julia turned toward Arden. “You knew this?”
“Yes,” he said cautiously.
“Why didn’t you tell me before now?”
“Didn’t want you to make a rash judgment about my best friend, Ben, here.”
Julia rarely found herself at a loss for words with an inability to act. She usually was good at thinking on her feet, but she had been blindsided. In the five years she’d worked at the prison, she’d only seen one of her former inmates after he’d been released. Her training taught her to walk away, get to somewhere safe. Not really applicable now, though.
She looked at Ben again, and he squarely returned her gaze with full-on, obvious lust. Lust? It had nothing to do with what they were talking about, yet still he looked at her like a predator looks at its prey.
She glanced back at Arden. He saw the way Ben looked at her, but it didn’t seem to bother him in the least. She just shook her head. Arden was right, she was speechless. Her something’s-not-fucking-right-here senses were tingling, too.
* * * *
In the week that followed, Julia recognized the easy friendship between Arden and Ben. So much so that she sometimes felt a little like a third wheel. She was used to the relationship she had developed with Arden and felt unbalanced with the new addition. Plus, Arden had not shown any interest in Julia since the night before Ben arrived. It hurt her feelings, but she would never let it show. She loved the intimate moments they had shared that night, and an inner flame still kindled for him. She felt flustered like a hormonal teenager every time he was around. Her self-confidence was a little shaken by his recent lack of interest.
Julia’s wary avoidance of being alone with Ben slowly disappeared. She still had not had a conversation with him about the prison. For some reason, it didn’t feel right.
Not helping the awkwardness she felt around Ben was the barely veiled look of lust in his eyes whenever she caught him looking at her. Which was often. Even worse, her hot, creamy reaction to that scorching gaze made her wish he’d act on the promises it conveyed. She guessed that he may possess the sexual aggression that Arden was lacking. She fantasized about being on her knees in front of Ben, his hand snarled in her hair, his cock fucking her mouth. She tried, unsuccessfully, to push those images from her head.
The air held electric charges for Julia when either man was around. It was palpable to her, especially the physical reaction her body had toward Ben. But Arden either didn’t notice or didn’t care about Ben’s interest, which was irritating. Julia was conflicted. She knew she would have to ignore the chemistry in the air she felt between her and both men no matter how much her body was telling her differently. The two were as close as brothers, and she resolved not to get into the middle of a testosterone-fueled pissing contest between the two.
Julia spent a lot more of her time alone since Ben had arrived, even though they were never very far. Today, she had some time to spare after her chores were done and before the men returned. Since it was a beautiful fall day, Julia decided to visit the creek. She usually went there when she was in need of some peace, privacy, or time to think.
A soft breeze rustled the trees, and Julia listened as if the colorful leaves whispered their secrets in her ears as she walked the path to her spot at Salt Creek.
As she approached, she saw Ben sitting on a rock at the edge, his feet dangling in the water. He must have heard her footfalls coming because he palmed the gun sitting next to him in the grass and looked over his shoulder to see who it was. He didn’t give her his usual mischievous smile when he saw her. Julia could tell when he was hurting about the loss of his parents, because pensive silence replaced his usual gregarious personality.
“Where’s Arden?” she asked.
“Setting rabbit snares.” Ben turned to quickly scan her. “You shouldn’t be out here by yourself. Did you even bother to bring a gun with you?” The tone of his voice told her he was asking a question he already knew the answer to. Truth was, she would have brought a gun if she’d thought about it, but she never thought about it. She felt safe there.
Ben turned away from her and shook his head.
“Can I join you?” she asked, as she walked over to him.
“Sure,” he replied, not meeting her gaze.
Julia plopped down right beside him and put her arm around his waist. “Want to talk about it?” she asked softly.
“There’s nothing you could say that would make any difference. I just need to…I don’t know.” He shrugged.
Julia focused on the nature around her. She loved this spot. The tinkling sounds of the creek’s running water filled her ears. The sunlight caught splashes of water that sparkled like diamonds for a moment before disappearing and sparkling again somewhere else.
“You’re right.” She paused. “I can’t make it better. But I do want you to know I’m here, and I care.” Julia rubbed his back with the hand that had rested at his waist. “I’m sorry you’re hurting.”
He looked down at her. His eyes were somber and dull. The pain he felt was easily discernible.
Ben reached up and rubbed the pad of his thumb across her cheek. “Thanks, Julia. That means a lot to me.” He dipped his head slowly and kissed her check. It was a sweet, gentle brush of his lips and was over way too soon. He turned back and hung his head for a moment, looking down into his lap then stared out over the running water again. “What about you?” he asked softly. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I keep telling myself I am. The less I think, the better I feel.”
“You can’t do that forever,” he said, turning his head to look down at her again.
“It works for me now. I’ll deal with what I need to as it comes. It’s the old ‘ignorance is bliss’ cliché in action.”
Ben nodded as if he understood and focused on the running water again.
Julia rested her head on his arm as they sat side by side, wordless. It seemed like neither one of them felt the need to fill the silence.
It was the first time Julia had spent any real amount of time with Ben, and she felt as if they forged the beginnings of a relationship with each other in that silence, an unspoken bond of understanding and support.
* * * *
Ben stood in the kitchen and found himself watching her from the screen door and thinking about that afternoon, the time they had spent together, silent in their thoughts. She was so beautiful, her big brown eyes looking up at him with concern. It was then that he realized that Julia was much more than the hard core, sexy kitten he’d fantasized about in prison. She was also compassionate and gentle. She was beautiful on the inside
.
It intrigued him.
He heard Julia chuckle to herself as she reached over to pick up another ear of corn to shuck. Her chuckle was a soft, throaty sound that eased his ears from the squeaky grate of the porch swing rocking back and forth. She’d been working on a pile of ears that needed to be dried before the colder weather set in.
“What are you so happy about?” Ben asked as he walked out the back door onto the porch.
She looked up at him. “Oh, nothing you’d be interested in.”
“Want some help?” He didn’t wait for her answer before he grabbed an ear of corn and sat next to her.
They sat together for a while, rocking and shucking, comfortable in the quiet.
“Do you think they let everyone out when the food ran out?”
He knew Julia understood that he was referring to the prison, because she answered without hesitation. “No, I doubt that they did.”
“You don’t want to talk to me about this, do you?”
“Not really.”
“Why not? There’s no harm in talking about our shared experience even if it was from opposite sides of the power pendulum.”
“In normal circumstances, I’d have walked a large circle around a former inmate that I’d seen outside the gates. It’s been hard for me not to be wary. Not because of who you are as a person.” She shrugged. “It’s a knee-jerk reaction. I’d rather pretend you were never there.
“Plus, that part of me, the Miss Costa part, I don’t need to be that extreme version of her here. I like that. I don’t really want to go back and revisit the people we were then.
“I know this sounds ridiculous, but I feel safer here with you two than I’ve ever felt in my adult life. I feel like I can relax. I don’t have to constantly look over my shoulder to see if somebody is about to strike.”
Ben ground his teeth at the thought of how she had felt then. She’d never shown it. She always looked strong and sure of herself. “Shit, I don’t think you would have had to worry when you were inside the gates. If anybody tried to hurt you they’d get a serious lock-in-a-sock beating.”
Julia glanced from her ear of corn to Ben. “Why?”
“You were our daily piece of candy. A lot of those men wouldn’t have liked having that jeopardized. Except for maybe the ones of the heteroflexible persuasion.”
Julia laughed. “Are you a person of the heteroflexible persuasion?”
“No, kitten, I’m all about the candy.” Ben looked her up and down. His mouth watered with his next thought. “Let me have a taste?”
Arden’s call for Julia came from inside the house. Ben didn’t break eye contact with her, still hoping that the moment hadn’t been interrupted, but it was too late.
Julia snickered. “Foiled again,” she said with a glint of playfulness in her eyes.
Both he and Arden spent an awful lot of time rubbing their eyeballs all over Julia. Now, after a month, he’d noticed that they both were struggling with leaving the other man alone with her.
So now, there was one guy watching her, and the other guy was watching the first guy. It had been a month-long cockblockathon.
Ben shook his head. “We’ll finish this conversation later?”
Chapter 7
“Julia!”
Julia was so engrossed in the slightly steamy turn in her conversation with Ben that she jumped when Arden yelled her name. He pulled a chair onto the porch from the kitchen.
Julia stood. “What?”
“I need a haircut,” he said as he slapped a pair of scissors in her hand.
Julia looked at him. “You’ve lost your mind,” she snorted. “You’d be better off setting your hair on fire and letting me put it out with a bucket of water. It would come out more even.”
Arden laughed. “Well, I’ll skip the Michael Jackson impersonation for now and go with the scissors. If that doesn’t work, then we’ll talk.” Arden plopped into the chair and looked at her expectantly.
“Okay,” she said with a “you asked for it” tone of voice. Julia walked around the chair, running her fingers through his honey-colored hair. “I’ll take about an inch off all the way around.” She fingered segments and snipped the ends as she slowly worked her way around his head.
Arden enjoyed the intimate feeling of Julia running her fingers through his hair. The gentle sifting of it sent a light tickle down the back of his neck. As she worked, the close proximity of her quickened his heart.
He opened his legs so she could stand between them while snipping the front. Her breasts were only inches away from his mouth. Her scent invaded his nose and started a cascading reaction through his body. His breathing grew heavier. His cock thickened in his pants. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed to not run his hands underneath her shirt and attend to her breasts. Then, as if Julia could read his mind, her nipples hardened.
Arden thought frequently of the time he had spent getting Julia off with his mouth. He replayed it in his mind often, especially when he was in bed alone at night. He hadn’t made any further advances toward her since then. And they had never spoken about it.
Household dynamics had changed with Ben’s appearance the next day. Arden’s attraction to Julia was just as strong as it had been that night, but he also sensed her attraction to Ben. So, he started taking a “wait and see” approach to find out the lay of the land. But his need to touch her was at the point where he was barely able to contain it. He was near his boiling point and had a pretty good idea that Ben was, too. He needed to talk to Ben and see if they needed to work anything out between them before either made a play for Julia.
The tiny raised pebbles that rose up and brushed against her T-shirt indicated to Arden that she was still interested in some capacity.
* * * *
Julia didn’t realize when she started this chore that she would become so disconcerted by Arden’s nearness. She felt his hot breath on her as she clipped her way around his head. She sensed a predatory vibe emanating from him. It was so palpable she felt like his hands were already on her, arousing her. She felt a thrilling twirl in her chest. She tried to settle herself and talk herself down from these ridiculous feelings that took over every time she was near these men.
This is just stupid. There’s no vibe. He’s just sitting for a haircut, dumb ass!
Her mind was reasoning, but her body thought it had the whole situation figured out. She felt her face flush and warm wetness for him at her core.
“Finished,” she said as she stood back and assessed her work. An attempted veneer of nonchalance covered her body’s reaction. “I think that’s actually not too bad,” she said, never meeting his gaze.
Now she felt uncomfortable, as if he knew what her body wanted. Taking a deep breath, Julia made an excuse about having some work to do and practically ran away from there.
* * * *
Since Ben had arrived over a month ago, Julia kept her resolution to not get between the two men’s friendship. Sure, she felt sexual tension when she was near either man, but she usually quickly escaped the situation until she could calm herself. It worked reasonably well, for them, but she was a hot mess.
Julia was constantly turned on. It was excruciating. Both of them casually touched her on a daily basis, seemingly innocent incidental brushes of miscellaneous body parts that drove her to the brink. They both had stood close enough to her that she could feel their hot breath floating across her bare skin.
Did they know what they were doing to her? Were they doing it on purpose? Trying to force her hand? Trying to entice her to the end of her control?
Ben perpetually looked at her like she was his next meal, but held back any words that matched his lusty leers. It was the only time he seemed to filter what was in his brain before his thoughts tumbled out of his mouth. It was ironic really, because she had a suspicion that the thoughts that were running around in his head would be more interesting to her than anything he’d ever said to her.
And if he knew th
e thoughts that were running around her head, would he oblige? Oh yeah. She knew he would. He seemed the kind of man that would like a bit of control and a lot of raw sex with a woman. The charge between her and Arden was different but no less distracting. She loved that he was thoughtful, romantic and did small things for her that were something, but really nothing, like putting his hand at the small of her back and guiding her through a doorway before him, or catching a stray strand of her hair and replacing it back behind her ear. He had a core that was gentle and tender. He was not the type of man she would normally be attracted to. It shocked Julia to realize that nobody had treated her that way in a long time. She felt cherished, special. She wanted to make him feel that way in return. She wanted him to experience what it feels like to be certain he’s important to her without ever having to say it. That is what Arden gave her daily, and it’d been the most unexpectedly meaningful experience she’d ever had.
She suspected that Arden’s selective attention when it came to Ben’s leers in her direction was his way of keeping the peace. He kept everybody balanced and did a good job of it. Usually. Yeah, everyone appeared genuinely comfortable with each other as long as she maintained her neutrality. But just how long could she resist?
She tried to find safe ground. She looked for anything that could fortify her resolve to stay neutral. She tried to find anything negative about the men that would quell her desire and comfort her during her quest to do the right thing. At some point, Arden must have interpreted her avoidance of them as being due to her feeling a little like the odd man out. His antidote? He was now making it a habit of giving her a peck on the cheek before he left to do whatever chores were on schedule for that day. And, not wanting to be left behind, this morning Ben had circled around the other side of her and pecked the opposite cheek before they headed out the door together. Great, now they’re both kissing me every day.
