by Leroux, Lucy
It wasn’t the first time something like that had happened.
She waited until they were sitting at the dining booth again before she said anything. “Matthias, have you noticed how awkward the staff seems to be around me?”
“Have they not been helping you?” He frowned. “If they haven’t been doing their duty…”
“Oh, no. It’s nothing like that. They’re very attentive.” In fact, they bent over backward to help her whenever they could. “It’s just that they’re not very talkative. Except for Priya, I seem to make them anxious.”
The Indian woman was the sole exception. But even she never dropped the conservative professionalism she’d displayed since Peyton arrived. Her conversations with the woman had been stilted at best. Only Matthias seemed comfortable around her.
Her host wrinkled his nose. “I apologize. I’ll speak to them.”
“No, don’t do that,” Peyton said hastily. The last thing she wanted was for their boss to shame them into being friendlier. “I simply wondered what was wrong.”
“Nothing. At least, nothing to do with you,” he assured her. “I should have realized earlier. Given the circumstances, it’s not a big mystery. I think the staff is afraid I’m going to resume my underground railroad.”
“Oh.” Peyton felt foolish. “Of course. They were all with you the last time when things went bad.”
His voice grew clipped. “It wasn’t bad. It was a bloody disaster—one I don’t intend to discuss in any detail, so don’t ask.”
He reached for the fork with an abrupt gesture, then proceeded to eat in silence.
Peyton felt ridiculously small. She could only imagine how difficult it must have been, trying to help people and having everything go wrong. The guilt he must have felt…
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You don’t have to talk about it. I understand.”
He huffed lightly, and his expression softened. “Let’s just have a nice meal and talk about nothing at all.”
With everything that was hanging over her head when she got back to Boston, that was an appealing offer. “Sounds good to me.”
The meal was superb. There were four courses, a mixture of Asian and French cuisine, followed by dessert. Each course had its own wine pairing. She begged off dessert, pleading for mercy. “Anymore and I may explode. Tell me, do you always eat like that? Because if you do, then why aren’t you a thousand pounds?”
“Most of the time, my staff has to remind me to eat,” he confessed. “My business interests are…extensive. I spend most of my day locked in my office. I have to set reminders to do things like bathe and eat. I hate being sedentary, so I periodically stop working long enough to throw myself in the pool. I also like lifting weights.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of obvious,” she said, trying not to stare at him. The breadth of his shoulders and arm definition alone spoke to hours spent in the gym. It put her new sloth-like existence to shame.
Peyton was going to have to ask him about the weight room. She hadn’t been aware the boat had one. But she should have. The Ormen Lange was bigger than any cruise ship she’d ever seen.
“But you’re right I don’t usually eat this richly,” he said, shaking her out of her reverie. “I asked my chef to treat us to something special while you’re a guest here. When you’re back with Liam and the others, I wouldn’t want you to forget us.”
His words sent a wave of emotion crashing through her. It was hard to pinpoint which was the strongest. Relief mingled with anxiety, along with something else she didn’t want to name.
Seemingly unaware of her introspection, Matthias got up and offered his hand. “There’s another way to work off these excess calories. Dance with me.”
Peyton huffed, but she took his hand with a grin. “We’d have to dance all night to work off that meal.”
“Which we could do,” he said, pulling her close and turning her into a spin.
As if on cue, music began to play, piped in from God knew where. Peyton stopped, twisting to glance around. It sounded like a full-blown orchestra was in the room with them.
“How the hell did you do that?” she asked, wide-eyed.
Matthias fished out his cell phone, then pressed a few buttons. “Bluetooth.”
The volume of the music lowered, and she laughed. “I should have guessed that.”
Peyton walked back into his arms, letting him twirl her into a fast waltz. “That’s a hell of a sound system.”
“It’s the best money can buy, or so I’ve been told.” As they spun in a circle, she fell against him. He grinned. “You’re incredibly good at this. I wouldn’t have thought someone in IT would be so good at ballroom dancing.”
Peyton laughed. “You forget Maggie Tyler is my best friend. She’s been in charge of events at the Caislean since before they were a chain. That’s hundreds, or even thousands, of weddings, quinceañeras, sweet sixteens, and charity balls. For years, she was stuck attending them as a party planner, which meant I was, too.”
Matthias steered them into a tight turn. “The last time I checked, party planners didn’t waltz.”
“Yours might not have, but you’d be surprised at how often a bridesmaid or attendant would drop out at the last minute. Rather than ruin the elaborate choreography those parties had planned, either Maggie or I had to squeeze into dozens of horrible bridesmaid’s gowns so we could fill in. Well, it was sometimes a squeeze. There were a few occasions when the dresses were so big we had to use safety pins to make them fit. I still have a scar on my back when one opened mid-promenade.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Ouch.”
He drifted his hand up her back, then stopped. When he looked into her eyes for a long moment, Peyton held her breath, half-hoping, but half-dreading, that he would kiss her.
As soon as she realized what she was thinking, she pulled away. And then she wanted to throw herself off the boat for being so stupid.
Every time she began to enjoy a man’s company, she’d be overcome by guilt. Which was crazy. The man she loved had never looked at her twice, not in the way she’d wanted him to.
Matthias put his hands on her shoulders. “It’s all right, Peyton. I haven’t been thinking too clearly since you got here. I know you can’t…”
She spun around, her eyes filled with unbidden tears. “Of course I can. I’m being such an ass. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
His smile was tinged with sadness. “There’s nothing wrong with you. I haven’t been playing fair. My only excuse is I didn’t do it on purpose. I know you have to go back to him.”
Peyton frowned. There it was again, the suggestion she was going back to Liam.
“I don’t know where you got this idea I’m going back to anyone. I’m single. Depressingly so.”
Matthias gave her an indulgent glance. “After all that has happened, you won’t be staying that way, not with the way Liam was carrying on. He may be hardheaded and obstinate, but he’s no fool.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “He’s marrying Caroline Wentworth.”
Staring at her in disbelief, Matthias stared gave himself a little shake. “All right, I take it back. He’s an idiot.”
Chapter 16
Peyton didn’t expect Matthias’ reaction to the news. For a moment, his lips twisted as if he tasted something sour. Then his face cleared and he laughed, grabbing the bottle of wine at the table.
“I think this calls for a celebration,” he said. “Let’s toast to the happy couple!”
Pursing her lips, she blinked. “I’ll pass, thanks.”
Matthias winced. “Sorry. I doubt the wedding will happen. I know those two well, much better than they realize. Neither will be satisfied with half a life. Granted, Liam does love self-flagellation so he might go through with it, but I doubt it. Not once you go home.”
Peyton passed a hand over her face. “I don’t know what makes you so confident he cares about me.”
He raised one blond brow. Peyton
waved dismissively. “Well, he obviously cares enough to save me from sex traffickers. He’s not a monster. But his feelings aren’t romantic. He sees me as a sister.”
Matthias put the bottle down, then spun her into his arms. “I’m willing to bet you’re wrong. You see, once upon a time, I spent quite a bit of time with Liam. Long enough to see how he interacts with people in his sphere—his siblings, his staff, and, yes, even how he acts with the women in his life. Granted, it was mostly when he was on the phone, but that’s one of the few times he lets his guard down.”
He paused to stare down into her eyes. “With you, he was always different. It was subtle, but whenever he talked to you or about you, there was something…distinctive. As if he were frustrated.”
She snorted. “No doubt he was. For an underling, I gave him a pretty hard time.”
They had often butted heads at work, sometimes for no reason at all. Maggie and Trick had given up trying to intervene long ago. Whenever she and Liam got into an argument, they would just sigh and find something else to do for half an hour.
Matthias gave her a gently chiding glance. “And I think it was because he was fighting his instincts, burying his natural impulses around you.”
“Are you sure you’re not reading too much into a few arguments?” How much time could Matthias and Liam have spent together if neither she nor the other Tylers had ever met him?
Well, Liam does spend most of his life traveling on business for the hotel. It was possible some fraction of that time had been spent here, with his mysterious friend.
Matthias leaned down. This time, she could smell the wine on his breath. “Like I said before, Peyton, you’re a good bet. And not to brag, but my instincts have always served me well.”
“I would say I have to take your word on that, but you do live on a mega-yacht, so I guess they can’t be half bad,” she said, surreptitiously checking her own breath on the next turn.
Well, at least if he does kiss me, we’ll match, she thought wryly, although it was obvious his desire to kiss her had dwindled away.
“Caroline understands Liam in her way, too,” Matthias continued as he slowed them to a stop, making the wine in Peyton’s stomach swirl unpleasantly.
“Caroline knows better than demand more than he’s willing to give. She probably doesn’t think him capable of more. But she’s underestimating him. The fact she is willing to marry him now, after what she vowed…well, that tells me she doesn’t realize that.” He stopped abruptly. “Unless she changed her mind—but no. She wouldn’t do that.”
Fascinated, Peyton raised an eyebrow. It was almost as if he was having a conversation with himself.
“About what?” she prodded.
“Sex,” he said with a shrug.
“What?”
He blinked as if he’d forgotten she was there. “I didn’t mean to say that. Discretion being the better part of valor, etcetera et cetera.”
Matthias’ warm hand came up to cup her cheek. “But…if anyone deserves to know where the bodies are buried, it’s you.”
Her heart skipped a beat, but it wasn’t because of his touch. Or at least, not completely because of it.
“Tell me,” she whispered.
He hesitated. Gripping his hand, she willed him to speak. “The reason I don’t have much faith in the future success of Liam and Caroline’s marriage is because she once vowed never to let him touch her again. And if I know Caroline, she will stick to that. For all her faults, she’s a woman of her word.”
Peyton didn’t understand. “But she’s crazy about him. I’ve seen them together.” All over each other in fact. Granted, those public displays of affection had tapered off since the early days of their relationship.
Just thinking of it made her stomach hurt. She lurched away. “I think I drank too much. And none of what you are saying makes any sense. Caroline loves Liam.”
“Caroline needs Liam. That’s something else entirely. You see, he’s the perfect foil for her. She looks great on his arm, and he’s a tour de force in the hotel world. Liam can satisfy her father’s sexist desire to turn his hotel chain over to a man. Caroline likes to pretend it doesn’t bother her, but the fact her father is passing her over to head the family business hurts. The old man is holding out for this marriage, but if Caroline marries Liam, then the sting of the insult lessens. She’d be half the hotel industry’s foremost power couple. But trusting Liam with her body after what happened is another matter entirely.”
Belatedly, light dawned. “He cheated on her?” Shock nearly knocked Peyton over.
Never in a million years would she have guessed Liam would do such a thing. He was a man of integrity. He prided himself on keeping his word, which was why he never made promises to the women he dated. Until Caroline, that is.
Matthias pursed his lips. “Cheating is a strong word. They weren’t actually together at the time, but when you’re off and on like that, I suppose it’s a technicality. Regardless, she wasn’t able to look the other way the way, not the way she would have if she had found him with anyone else.”
Pivoting on his heel, Matthias put his hands on her shoulders. “Peyton, you’ve been trying to convince me that Liam doesn’t have any feelings for you, but you never asked how I knew how you felt. You see, I happen to know the signs. Only one man can inflict the kind of damage I see in your eyes. And I know because I’ve been there.”
Holy shit. It felt as if the floor under her feet was disintegrating. Or maybe it was her heart.
“You and Liam?” she breathed.
He nodded. “Caroline swore she’d never let Liam touch her again after she found him in bed with me.”
Chapter 17
Peyton sat on the floor, clutching her middle. She was in danger of losing all four courses. Matthias sat next to her, pressing against her side.
“It’s going to be okay, Peyton.”
It was difficult to make out what he was saying. Her eardrums were vibrating as if her head were going to explode. “I had no idea he was gay. Or that you were…”
Had she been imagining that Matthias wanted to kiss her? What kind of an idiot was she?
Peyton had known for years there was something wrong with her. Only a glutton for punishment would pine for a man like Liam Tyler. But this revelation was it—the proof she was simply wired all wrong and always had been. Not only had she spent most of her life in love with a man who would never love her back, but also the only other man who’d managed to turn her head even a little bit was his lover.
Except—except Liam was marrying Caroline. What the hell was that all about?
Matthias nudged her. “That’s because he’s not gay. And neither am I.”
Peyton’s head drew back, and she stared at him as if he were insane. He took her hand, then brought it to his lips. “Peyton, for some people, life is never that simple.”
Suddenly, he groaned and let her go. “And the fact I want to pick you up and carry you to my stateroom is only making it more complicated.”
“Now I’m really confused,” she said hoarsely.
He moved, settling cross-legged opposite her. His knees almost touched hers, but he was careful to leave a little distance between them. He reached for her hand, but then checked himself as if thinking better of it.
“Peyton, I know what I am. I had the benefit of learning it the hard way. Those painful lessons taught me to never compromise on what I need.” He shrugged. “I want what I want, and it’s to enjoy the pleasure of a man—or a woman—in my bed. Preferably both.”
“Oh.” So he was bisexual. “Err…would that be at the same time?”
The corner of his mouth kicked up. “On occasion.”
Peyton slammed the door on the mental image that popped into her head, but she couldn’t hide the heat across her cheeks. “Isn’t that a bit greedy?” she asked, her voice barely more than a squeak.
“Is that what you sincerely believe?” He risked touching her cheek with his index finger. “Or
does this blush mean you find it a bit exciting?”
Tongue-tied, Peyton bit her lip, stalling until she could think. “Just because you are…omnivorous doesn’t mean Liam is.”
Laughing, he swiped his hand down his face. “Omnivorous. I like that. It’s not accurate, but I like it. In reality, there’s a whole spectrum of sexuality, each little wavelength with its own nuance their name or label can’t capture, but I digress.”
He leaned forward. “My point is I’d bet everything I owned on Liam’s true nature being omnivorous, too. Whether he will ever admit it is another story. The man does like to get in his own way sometimes. For your sake, I hope this isn’t one of them, because after meeting you, I sincerely hope you get your happy ending. One of us should.”
She snorted even though it wasn’t funny. “Wishful thinking won’t make it so.”
“Never underestimate the power of positive thought.” He tapped his temple. “I think that’s enough revelations for one night. Tomorrow morning, we dock in Boston Harbor. You’re almost home.”
Peyton’s breath caught, her belly churning once more.
Matthias took her hand, putting it in the crook of his arm. “Let me walk you to your stateroom.”
Still inwardly reeling, Peyton allowed herself to be led. They were halfway to her room when she tightened her grip on his arm. Something he’d said replayed itself in her mind. “So…you think I’m heartbroken over Liam because you are, too?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far,” he said. “In fact, I’d venture to say neither one of us got out unscathed. Certain people tend to leave a mark. But I don’t have to tell you that, do I?”
They continued to her door in silence. He bent to kiss her forehead.
“Do I really look damaged?”
“You’ve been through an ordeal. A bit of damage is to be expected.”
“Matthias.”
He inclined his head. “Well, there is the fact you flinch almost every time I say his name. It is a bit telling.”
