by L. M. Carr
“It’s not just that. It’s like you were made for this.” My cock twitches and I realize that I still have morning wood. I practically race into the bathroom to straighten myself out.
“Hah! You’re a chauvinist pig, huh? You’d like your wife in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant?” she calls as I close the bathroom door.
“No.” I counter, swinging the door wide open. “I’d love you in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.” I wink and close the door.
I rummage through the medicine cabinet and find a new toothbrush, wash my face and get myself ready, physically and mentally, to face her. I have something to ask her and I’m hoping she won’t reject me.
The kitchen is quiet and empty. I walk outside when I hear several voices talking. My hand freezes on the handle of the storm door when I see Mrs. Longo, whose arm is bound in a cast, leaning over Mia’s shoulder to talk to the baby. I’ve already dealt with Angie’s shit about coming back, I’m not sure I want to deal with this old lady’s judgment.
Surprisingly, sky blue eyes and a gentle smile greet me. I follow her lead and offer a small smile as I nod. “Good morning, Mrs. Longo. It’s nice to see you.”
I notice Mia’s eyes narrow at Mrs. Longo. “He’s fine. See.” She holds the boy up for inspection.
“Yes, dear, I know you can take care of a baby. It’s just that he was screaming bloody murder and thought you could use some help.”
“Thanks, but I’m all set.” She pats MJ’s back, eliciting a burp and I chuckle, thinking he is his father’s son.
“Yes, dear, I know. You’ll be a wonderful mother.”
My phone buzzes in my pocket as I watch this interesting interaction. I excuse myself to take the call from Katherine asking if I’d like to come for dinner tonight. I hadn’t planned on picking the kids up until tomorrow. I need this time with Mia. I need to be sure about my decision before I can tell Katherine and Nate that they’ll be seeing their grandchildren a lot more often.
“Can I let you know later?” I ask.
“That’s fine. Take your time.” She disconnects the call before I have a chance to ask about the kids.
I catch Mrs. Longo walking away back into her yard. Just before she’s hidden behind the tall arborvitae, she turns and inverts her fingers into a V, pointing at her eyes and then she directs them at me. I nod and acknowledge that I understand that she’s watching me. I know she drives Mia crazy sometimes, but I’m glad she’s here.
Walking back inside, Mia tells me that she’s got to jump in the shower. I suppress a smile when she comments about how hot it was in her room last night and that she has to check the air conditioner. I watch as she struggles to get the baby carrier up the stairs and into the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” I take the carrier from her and follow behind. “Why are you bringing this upstairs?”
“I have to take a quick shower and I can’t exactly leave the baby alone.” The tone in her voice makes me feel stupid.
“I’ll watch him,” I reply instinctively. “I’m here.”
She argues with me, telling me that I don’t have to do that, until she concedes and promises to be quick. I hold MJ and listen as the shower turns on. For the second day in a row, I am tormented knowing that her gorgeous body is naked with just the width of a door separating us.
“Come on, little man. If I can’t see, neither can you.”
I kneel by Mia’s bed and blow bubbles into MJ’s bare belly and he lets out a fit of happy giggles. I think of Luke when he lost his two front teeth and had a gummy grin. Damn you, Johanna. Damn you. I inhale and exhale loudly, refocusing my attention on this little boy in front of me instead of on the woman who robbed me of precious years I can never get back.
I hear the shower shut off at almost the exact same time that I hear Brady begin to bark. I hear Shelby and Mike calling Mia’s name from downstairs.
“Mia?” Shelby calls again.
“They’re early,” Mia remarks as she walks out of the bathroom with her pink bathrobe wrapped around her tanned body. I instantly harden at the sight of her. Her eyes shine with what I think is delight when she looks over, sees me with MJ and smiles meekly. The look on her face is thoughtful and pensive.
“Hello?” Shelby’s voice calls again as I hear their footsteps climbing the stairs.
Before Shelby reaches the top step of the landing, Mia is out the door, closing it gently as I scoop the baby up in my arms. I’m left alone in her room with MJ while she talks to his parents on the other side of the door.
“Uh…you guys are early,” Mia splutters.
“Yeah, we had a good night, but we missed our boy. Where is he?”
I hear hushed voices and then watch as the door opens wide. I come face to face with a wide-eyed, shocked Shelby while her husband stands there with a knowing smirk on his face.
“What the . . .” Shelby’s eyes narrow at me.
“I can explain,” Mia says quickly like she’s a sixteen year old who just got caught with a boy in her room.
“Please do!”
My eyes dart back and forth between the two of them and then look at Mike for some guidance, but he just crosses his monstrous arms and chuckles.
“Shelby, calm down.” Mia steps in front of her, diverting the attention away from me.
I have always liked Shelby and she used to like me, but somehow I don’t think the feeling is mutual anymore.
“Let me get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs.” Mia tightens the sash on her robe before she turns around and extends her arms, reaching for MJ so she can pass him to his mom. In her eyes, I see a pleading look that asks me to keep my mouth shut for now.
The door closes and I stand before the woman I love and as much as I want to throw her on the bed, rip off the robe and kiss her everywhere, the tension radiating from her warns me that sex is the last thing on her mind. I open my arms, providing her with a place that she has always felt safe. “Come here.” Without hesitation, she lets me wrap my arms around her. I inhale her scent and feel complete.
Her fingers find each other behind my back and she holds me close, her face is buried in my chest. “What are you doing for the rest of the day?” she whispers.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.” A little laugh escapes. “I don’t want to go. Let’s spend the day together. We can do whatever you want.” The lower half of my body begs for her to say we can stay here and reacquaint our bodies, but the upper half of my body that houses my heart knows that we need to take things slowly. I need to earn her trust.
“I’d like that.” She smiles. I feel her chest rise and fall in my arms.
“Get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs.” I place a long, lingering kiss on her wet, strawberry-scented hair. “I don’t know how much more self-control I have knowing that you’re naked under that robe and you’re in my arms.” My dick is throbbing and begging for release.
“Okay. Give me five minutes.” She steps out of my arms and looks up at me with hooded eyes. “Be careful, Shelby might try to kill you.” She opens the door for me.
“Hah! I’ll fight anyone who tries to keep you away from me.” I lean in for a quick kiss. “I’m not kidding.”
Just as I hit the bottom step, I find Mike and Shelby squaring off, facing each other. “Don’t start? Mind my own business?” Shelby sounds offended. “She is my best friend. I love that girl like a sister so it is my business. I’m not going to stand by and watch him weasel his way back into her life just to leave and break her all over again. Did you forget what he did to her? I saw it with my own eyes! I swear to God, I won’t let him do it.”
I clear my throat. In this moment, I respect Shelby so much for being such a good friend to Mia. I guess I am going to have to add Shelby’s name to the list of people whose trust I need to earn back. “Shelby, I know you’re really mad at me.” She turns around and narrows her green eyes at me. “Okay, well maybe ‘mad’ isn’t the right word, but I want you to know that I am staying. I
’m not going back to California and I want to fix things with her. I love her. I always have.”
Mike’s hands touch her shoulders gently and he leans down to whisper in her ear. She pins me with her eyes before releasing her breath. “Let me just say this. If you hurt her, I will hunt you down, chop off your dick, and put it through a food processor. There will be nothing to reattach. Are we clear?”
“Crystal.” I nod solemnly even though I’m doing everything I can not to laugh at this petite woman who has threatened to unman me.
My beautiful Mia appears a minute later wearing a white sundress with coral flowers and strappy sandals. She looks like a goddess with her hair piled high on her head, small tendrils flow around her face.
MJ is handed off to Mike as Shelby grabs Mia’s arm and tells her that she’s got some explaining to do. Mia follows her out into the backyard.
“Your boy is just like you, man. He’s a bruiser.” Even though Mike and I are roughly about the same height, he’s got at least thirty pounds on me. The image of this huge guy banging his tiny wife pops into my head and I laugh.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, man. It’s all good.” I smooth MJ’s hair back, diverting the attention elsewhere. “He slept pretty much all night.”
“Is that so?” Something in Mike’s tone makes me realize my error. I’ve pretty much confessed to spending the night. I don’t want him to think it’s like that and that that’s all I want from her. Hell yeah, I want that, but I want more. I want all of her. At this point, I’ll take whatever she’ll give me.
“C’mon. You know it’s not like that. I love that woman. I fucked up. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make things right.” I look into Mike’s shocked eyes. “What’s up?”
“Don’t let my wife hear you swear in front of the kid. She’ll go crazy, momma bear on you!”
“My bad, MJ. My bad.”
Mia returns and takes MJ out of his father’s arms. She’s followed by a relaxed-looking Shelby who gives me a quick look and purses his lips, rolling her eyes.
“Thank you for watching the baby. It means a lot to us. Maybe someday we can return the favor.” Mike remarks, looking at Mia pointedly.
She replies, “It was my pleasure. You know I love that little boy.”
Quick goodbyes are said and before I know it, I am standing in the kitchen, watching Mia as she scoops food into Brady’s bowl and then refills the second bowl with fresh water When she turns around, she reaches for her necklace. She’s nervous to be alone with me.
“What would you like to do today?” I ask, letting her decide as I walk slowly forward and lacing our hands together. “Whatever you want to do is fine.” Secretly I’m hoping she’ll say she wants to go to Vegas and get married, but I know that’ll never happen.
“Let’s go to the beach. I’d like to,” she says as she looks down at our joined hands, “hold your hand and walk on the beach like we did in Culebra.” Although her words are clear, I can sense some apprehension in her voice.
“My girl wants to go to the beach.” I smile and bring her knuckles to my lips, kissing them softly.
Her face drops immediately, her coloring fades to a ghostly shade of white.
“What’s wrong?” I cup her face.
“I’m not . . . I’m not your girl anymore.”
Fuck me! I wasn’t expecting her to say that. She is my girl. She’s always been my girl. She’ll always be my girl.
“It’s just . . . you show up out of the blue and expect everything to go back to the way it was. It doesn’t work that way. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. We need to talk about a lot of things.” She squeezes my hand in a reassuring gesture.
“I understand,” I utter, even though I really don’t. We love each other and we belong together. Fuck, I think she still loves me. It would kill me if we’ve gone beyond the point of no return.
“Let’s go to the beach.” She smiles as she moves out of my reach, tossing her phone into her bag and swinging it over her shoulder. “It’s a beautiful day.”
I look out at the bright blue sky as I follow her out to the driveway. “It is a beautiful day,” I agree as I open the passenger door of the Jeep and help her climb in. I know I’m in love because my heart is beating like a drum and my smile is fucking huge.
Slowly I back down the driveway and start to drive away when a slight movement in the window of the Longo’s house catches my attention. Two slender fingers jut out making a V point inward toward her own eyes before Mrs. Longo directs those fingers to her eyes and then to me. Yes, Mrs. Longo, I know you’re watching me.
“Do you mind if I stopped by the house? I need to shower and change my clothes.” Her small hand goes rigid and I glance over to see if I can gauge what she’s thinking. I know that beneath her sunglasses her eyes are filled with panic. How fucking stupid of me! Had I known we would be spending the day together, I would’ve brought clothes with me. I would’ve planned this better because I want every minute with her to be perfect. “It’ll be a quick stop. I promise.” Her lips tighten into a straight line and she nods subtly. I know what being in that house does to me. I know how it makes me feel. I hadn’t really considered what it would do to her. Selfish bastard.
I tap the button on the steering wheel to replace the silence. One song ends as Maroon 5’s song Animals comes through the speakers. I tap another button, changing the station to American Authors’ Best Day of My Life but she reaches over to the dash and switches back to Adam Levine. “I like that song.” She smiles. I think it’s more than just the song she likes. I’ll never understand her fascination with a skinny, tatted dude who sings like a chick. “Is Adam Levine the only Adam that you like these days?” I tease her, changing the station again. “Do not mess with my radio! I will cut your fingers off!” She turns it back. “That would be a shame. Have you forgotten how skilled I am with my fingers?” I smirk, knowing damn well that she remembers when I see her shiver and cross her tanned legs. “You’re such a pervert.”
“I am.” I can’t help but hide the stupid grin on my face. I listen to the lyrics of the song and realize I could’ve written the words. I would hunt her down. I could smell her scent for miles. I would eat her alive like an animal. My cock hardens at the thought of being inside her. Kissing her. Tasting her.
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, but I don’t care who it is. Whoever it is can wait.
I pull into the driveway of the house that will soon no longer belong to me and park in front of the garage. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be our house. Our home. I glance over at her face and wonder if she’s thinking the same thing.
After lowering the radio and shutting off the ignition, I draw her attention by wrapping my fingers around the nape of her neck. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay. C’mon.”
“I’ll wait out here,” she counters quietly, removing her sunglasses. I want to erase the look of fear from her eyes.
“Mia . . .” My knuckles run along her smooth cheek and she closes her eyelids as if she’s enjoying my touch. I hate myself for what I’ve done to her. To us.
“I’m fine. Go take a shower.” She reopens her eyes and smiles. “You do kind of stink.” That tiny bit of humor gives me hope. “Okay. Ten minutes tops.” I open the door and hop out, kicking myself for not saying twenty minutes. I’m going to need some time to relieve myself so I don’t have to walk around all day with a boner.
Two minutes? I’ve never come in two fucking minutes. God, when I finally have the chance to be with her, to be in her, I better not come in two fucking minutes. That would be . . . embarrassing.
I dry off, dress quickly, throwing on a pair of khaki shorts and a Yankees t-shirt before jogging down the stairs. I freeze mid-step and listen to soft whimpering and whispers. I practically run into my office to find her sitting on the couch with her face buried in her hands. Dammit! When I asked her to come in, I thought maybe she’d stay in the kitchen not come into my o
ffice. This isn’t right. I know what being here is doing to her. She’s remembering what I said, what we did and as much as I wish I could take it all back, I can’t.
“Please don’t cry.” I lower myself in front of her and peel her hands away from her face. “I’m sorry.” Two words. That’s all I can offer at the moment. I’ve seen her cry plenty of times, but to know that it’s me, that I’m the one who’s inflicted such pain, is almost unbearable. When I left her, I was only able to speak to her the way I did and say those things because I knew I was saving her. I thought I was saving her from me.
“God, why is this so hard?” Tears continue to stream down her face and she sniffs.
“Why did you come in? I thought you were going to wait for me outside?” I wipe the tears away with my thumbs, cradling her face gently, and hope she can see truth and sincerity staring back at her. “We could’ve done this together.” Whatever I can do to make this easier for her I’ll do.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come in. It’s just . . . you were taking a long time and I had to use the bathroom.” She smiles sheepishly.
I take her hand in mine. “Don’t ever apologize to me. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I reach up and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ears, letting my fingers slide over her diamond earrings. I smile as I think about the story behind them. On her eighteenth birthday, her father gifted her with a small black box which held the earrings. He told her that even though she was technically an adult, she’d always be his little girl, his princess. I can only hope that I have that kind of relationship with Madison.
“That last day . . . when I found you in here, I saw of glimpse of the man I loved but,” she snaps her fingers, “just like that he was gone, replaced by this awful, cruel and hurtful person.”
She doesn’t realize how true those words are. With every word I typed, I didn’t think I could really go through with it. I didn’t think I could do it. As she stood in the doorway, staring at me, I nearly lost it; I knew I looked as badly as I felt. It was in that second I knew I had to have her one more time before I let her go. I was drawn to her. I was addicted to her. Selfish bastard.
