Questions raced through Jennifer’s mind. Who was this woman? What was going on here? Where was Ryan? Why wasn’t she with him even now? “But you’re his ex-fiancée. I don’t understand any of this.”
“I know you don’t. Ryan and I had a misunderstanding, so I flew here to St. Thomas to discuss it with him. None of this misunderstanding is your fault. However, I must warn you. Ryan’s biggest account is with my father’s company. It would only take one word from me for my father to withdraw his orders and his support. It could devastate Ryan financially. If you care anything at all about him, you will leave him alone. Otherwise, I will have no choice but to tell my father that Ryan has been cheating on me.”
“You would do that?” Jennifer was surprised at the woman’s willingness to destroy the man she loved. Could she really love him? Did her jealousy really run that deep?
“In a heartbeat,” Diane answered. “So you see, Jennifer, I’m allowing him to be foolish just this once, but now it’s over. Don’t cross me. Stay away from Ryan and his sweet talk. You’ll be much better off without his two-timing.” Diane didn’t wait for a reply; she turned and headed toward the International Plaza.
Jennifer reached the taxi stand, still numb from the conversation with Diane. “To the Ocean Goddess, please,” Jennifer requested. The driver smiled and opened the door for her. “Yes, lady,” he said, “it’s a beautiful day. But you’re going back to the ship too soon. I don’t see any packages with you.”
“What I really want are some Caribbean recipes. Something unique to the Virgin Islands. Do you have any ideas?” If she could concentrate on her work, she would survive this. Somehow she would stop herself from thinking about Ryan, his passionate kisses, his whispered sweet-nothings, and his warm embraces. Tears behind her eyes threatened to overflow, but she managed to hold them back.
“Yes, Miss. I certainly do. Do you feel adventurous?” The cabby laughed. “I know a place not too far from here where the food will please you.”
“Then let’s go. I don’t have to be back to the ship until 5:00 this afternoon.”
* * *
“Mama Mia! No. No. No. The invitations have already been sent. The Captain has made plans and is looking forward to the delicious dinner you promised to prepare. You cannot back away now!” Chef Ruscelli grasped the front of his white tunic. “My heart is racing. What sort of madness do you suffer from?”
“But Chef Ruscelli, I’m sure the Captain can make other arrangements, or you can cook the dinner. I just won’t be there.” Jennifer didn’t want to share her culinary talent with her friends and the Captain. Why should she slave away in a hot kitchen when she didn’t want to? The dinner had been Ryan’s idea anyway. What a manipulator! What if Diane was now aboard, sharing his suite? Ryan would surely bring her to dinner and Jennifer certainly didn’t intend to cook for her.
“What has happened to change your mind? There is no way I can prepare the meal, even with your recipes and directions, and serve it with a smile.” Chef Ruscelli frowned. “Il mio piccolo capo, what is troubling you? Perhaps your feet grow cold? Perhaps you are afraid that no one will find your menu to their liking?”
“Absolutely not!” Jennifer protested. “That’s not it at all.” Jennifer felt like screaming. He wasn’t budging an inch. Instead he was insisting she oversee the meal. Granted, he was being very nice about it, but she didn’t want to prepare a meal for Ryan and his fiancée.
“Tell me, Chef Jennifer, what has you so upset that you don’t want your friends to enjoy your cooking?” Chef Ruscelli asked gently. “Surely there must be some misunderstanding between you and your friends. Si. I remember---your boyfriend. It is always a man that is the root of every woman’s problem. He is the one who has you so upset!”
“Upset? No. Chef Ruscelli, I am not upset,” she lied. “I have too many things that I would like to do on this cruise. Cooking is not one of them.” Now Jennifer felt terrible. He was being so nice to her and she was creating a difficult situation for him. But she intended to hold her ground. She was not going to cook for Ryan or his fiancée. That was that! Decision made! Finished! Rifinito!
“What of your boyfriend, Chef Jennifer?” Chef Ruscelli asked innocently. “Will this not upset him greatly? This dinner. It was his idea, yes?”
Jennifer groaned inwardly. The man was entirely too astute. “Yes, it was his idea. However, I have found out that I am not his girlfriend by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I met his fiancée today while I was in St. Thomas. She may now be aboard ship, even as we speak. I do not intend to cook for either one of them.”
“Hmm. I do see your problem.” Chef Ruscelli studied Jennifer and then continued. “However, the Captain will not allow anyone to join the cruise after we board in the port of embarkation. So, Il mio piccolo capo, I would suggest that you do cook. The young man will be feeling quite guilty. Just think, you would be torturing him with your tantalizing meal and he would be thinking of you the whole time, not the other woman.” He smiled confidently. “Surely, the fiancée cannot have your talent. She cannot cook as you do. Look what the young man will be giving up.” Chef Ruscelli leaned close to her. “Trust me when I say, he will be regretting that he no longer has you.”
Jennifer thought about what Chef Ruscelli told her. He could be right. After all, he was a man who loved women. He was Italian. If he didn’t understand how men reacted, no one would. Perhaps she should rethink her decision. “I might be willing to prepare the dinner, but I want to make some changes to the menu.”
“Such as?”
“Dessert. It could be made a day in advance. Possibly some of the other courses as well.”
“Buon.” Chef Ruscelli smiled broadly. “It would be my pleasure to help.”
Jennifer returned his smile. Maybe she could plan a few surprises for Mr. Gorgeous. There was no way that his bride-to-be would be able to top Jennifer’s cooking—not in her wildest dreams.
* * *
The early morning sun was barely above the horizon when Jennifer and Helga slipped into the secluded hot tub tucked away in the solarium.
“Don’t worry, Helga. It’s not your fault that Ryan has been playing games with me. Even if you had reached me two days ago, the outcome would be the same. I would be hurt and disillusioned.” Jennifer sighed and slipped deeper into the hot tub she shared with her friend. “I have to take responsibility for my own actions.”
“Yes. You do. However, I believe that you are placing too much responsibility on yourself and not enough on Ryan.” Helga sipped her pineapple juice. “I wish that I could say the words that would help you to stop blaming yourself.”
“Look, Helga. You know about the bet. Even though Sheila egged me on when I wanted to back off, I persisted. I persisted when the man made it clear that he didn’t want to make love to me. I chased him. I seduced him when his defenses were down. So, I can hardly lay all the blame on him for making love to me.”
“In that respect, I think you’re wrong.” Helga replied taking another sip of her drink.
Jennifer emptied her glass and signaled the waiter to renew their juice. “Care to explain that one?”
“Ryan is a strong man. If he didn’t want to be seduced, he wouldn’t let himself be, regardless of the attraction. There’s one thing in life I have learned well and it’s that men don’t need excuses, because women are only too happy to make excuses for them. You can bet that he’s not blaming you for this little episode.”
“Are you serious?” Jennifer thought about what Helga said. Instinctively, she knew Ryan wouldn’t be blaming her. Why? Because of the kind of man he was. Strong, loyal, generous, kind, and responsible. She suspected Helga was right. Ryan wanted her; at least he wanted her in bed. That’s why he’d made love to her.
“Oh, yes. I’m quite serious.” Helga smiled at the waiter when he came and placed their drinks on the coping. “I didn’t think he was the type of man to commit to one and play with another, but perhaps I’ve been wrong.”
<
br /> “Well, it doesn’t matter. From what you and his fiancée, Diane, told me, they are all but married. He gave me some happy memories, and for that I should be grateful.” Jennifer refused to let the tears escape their watery bed. Thank goodness they were in the hot tub. Who would know if a few tears managed to find their way down her cheeks? They would just blend in with the rest of the bubbles and spray from the hot tub. “I wish that I hadn’t fallen in love with him in the process.”
“It’s not over Jennifer,” Helga warned.
“Oh, yes, it is. I don’t want to see him again.” Jennifer had never been more certain of anything in her life. Being an innocent virgin was one thing. Now that she knew how wonderful love could be she didn’t want to waste her time or emotions on a lover who could never be hers.
“Mark my words, beautiful Jennifer. He will have to choose between the two of you. Don’t give him a reason to choose her.”
“Helga, I know that you have always given me good advice and I treasure you as a dear friend. In this instance, however, I’m going to follow my heart. Whatever choices he makes, will be his own, without interference from me.” Jennifer sipped her orange juice and shook her head. “The truth is, Helga, I don’t know if I want him anymore, under any circumstances.”
Helga finished her juice and rose from the hot tub. “I hate to leave, but I have an early morning exercise class to conduct. Take care, Jenny.”
“You too, Helga, and thanks.”
* * *
“If you don’t get out of that hot tub soon, you’re going to shrivel up to nothing,” Ryan’s rich, masculine voice penetrated the relaxed haze that Jennifer was enjoying. “Mind if I join you?”
“I mind,” she answered when he sat down in the hot tub next to her. “Just keep your hands off of me.” Ryan winced and looked absolutely thunderous when she slipped over to the other side of the tub and positioned herself directly across from him.
“Why did you run off yesterday?” Ryan asked. “I would have explained.”
“You know why I left, so please don’t play clueless and innocent with me. There was really nothing you could have said to make me feel any better about finding a woman in your arms, kissing you for all she was worth.”
“You just said the operative words, Jennifer. She was kissing me.” Ryan explained patiently.
“Oh, pul-leeze!” Jennifer watched as he smiled that thousand-watt smile of his. Well it wasn’t going to melt her this time. The pain of knowing that he loved another woman while he made love to her went much too deep. “Please go back to Diane and leave me alone.”
“As far as I know, she’s still in St. Thomas.” Ryan watched her irritated reaction with something akin to humor. “I tried to find you yesterday afternoon and last night. Where were you?”
“Up until the ship sailed, I was scouring St. Thomas for recipes, which I did find, thank you very much.” Jennifer answered.
“I came by your cabin, but you weren’t there,” he said. “As a matter of fact, I tried all night to find you.”
“I don’t care,” she stated flatly.
“Forget Diane.” Ryan slid around to her and leaned in to kiss her. At her surprised gasp, he gently kissed her. “Let me show you how much I want you. Come on, Jenn. Let’s have breakfast, then we’ll go back to my cabin. We need to talk.”
Jennifer looked up at him. “You must be out of your ever loving mind!”
Ryan laughed. “I admit I’m crazy. Crazy for you.”
Jennifer couldn’t believe her ears. She may be innocent, but she knew a line when she heard one. “You’re good. I really mean that. You have an incredible line.” She watched as color crept up his neck to his face. His smile was now gone, replaced by annoyance. A thrill went through her as she realized she could pierce that unbelievable arrogance. How dare he try to sweet-talk her? Forget? Not likely? So far, she’d heard nothing of consequence. No words of love or commitment, just an invitation to go to his cabin.
The silence between them lengthened, and Jennifer discovered that she really wanted to tell him how angry she felt about his duplicity. But instead, she decided to give him some of what he’d given her. Why let him know that he’d devastated her? He certainly didn’t seem like he was hurting. Why tell him how much she was? It was unlikely he would care. Let him think that it had been just a casual affair for her. He would never know the difference. If she had nothing else, at least she would have her pride.
“It isn’t a line, Jennifer. I care for you.” Ryan answered. “You are so sweet. Don’t you know that I wouldn’t hurt you?”
Jennifer looked at him in amazement. “But you already have,” she stated flatly. Then at the look of distress on Ryan’s face, she continued. “But don’t let that worry you, Ryan. I just slept with you to win a bet.”
“I don’t believe you.” Ryan’s voice took on a guarded tone.
“Believe me. On the first day of the cruise, Sheila and I made a bet. The first one to end up in bed with you got the cruise, and all expenses, paid by the other. I won.” Jennifer watched in fascination as his color darkened and his eyes turned black. “You were good too. I certainly can’t fault you as a lover.”
“You’re lying,” he accused. “You’re just hurt because you saw Diane kissing me after we made love.”
“No. That’s not true.” Jennifer paused, then dropped her bomb. “Remember the morning that Mike and Sheila found us together. Sheila bet Mike that you would be there with me. That’s how he knew where to find you. Guess what? The payoff is that Mike will pick up the tab for all our water sports and rentals, boats, equipment, film—everything, on the ship’s private island on Saturday. Unfortunately, that could be very expensive for Mike, but great for me and Sheila.”
“I don’t believe you.” Ryan looked as if he’d been pole-axed. “Mike would have told me. Besides that, you wouldn’t make a bet like that. You were a virgin.”
“Even virgins want to experience lovemaking, Ryan. I didn’t come up with the ideas for either bet, Sheila did. If you don’t believe me, ask Mike. He’s paying our way Saturday, and I fully intend to enjoy every minute of it.”
Ryan rose from the bench and stood before her, a magnificent handsome man. Sorrow crossed his face, but he held his body straight and proud. “I’m going for breakfast. Will you join me?”
“No, Ryan. No thank you.”
Jennifer watched as he stepped out of the hot tub and grabbed a towel on a nearby chair. He walked toward Neptune’s Court without a backward look. Her heart twisted painfully in her chest. What had she just done to him? Did he really care about her? Did she really matter to him? He hadn’t shared the words she wanted to hear. Caring wouldn’t be enough for her. She wanted his love. Unfortunately for her, it was all or nothing. She wouldn’t settle. Not now, not ever. Life was too beautiful and love too special to accept less. Thank goodness, she’d come to her senses. She’d almost given in, just to feel his strong arms around her.
Jennifer climbed out of the hot tub and, after toweling off, slipped into her cover-up. She needed to go change. She had a dinner to prepare tomorrow night, and she planned on fixing several courses, including dessert, today. It was really too bad that she couldn’t back out. Even though it wasn’t possible, she would do her best to make it an unforgettable experience for the Captain and her friends. She felt flattered. Maybe she could write about the galley experience in her cookbook. That it would invoke memories of Ryan was of little consequence. She loved him. She only hoped that one day her feelings would fade and she would be able to love again.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ryan wondered, not for the first time, where his good judgment had disappeared to along with his carefully guarded control. Emotionally, he was floundering and he knew it, but he really couldn’t think beyond his need for Jennifer. He wanted to hear the sound of her laughter when he teased her and her breathless sighs while he made passionate love to her. He wanted to see her eyes sparkling with mischief and to see that beautiful
smile of hers, radiant and warm, when she looked at him. Never had he felt so disoriented or alone. It was a new feeling for him, one that he didn’t like or understand.
When had she come to mean so much to him? When had seeing her smile become the highlight of his day? When had tasting her lips become more important than eating? He hurt. The anguish he felt went to the very depths of his being. The anguish was for her, for the pain and sadness he’d caused her. Somehow he had to convince Jennifer that Diane meant nothing to him. Instinctively, he knew though, that it wouldn’t be enough. She wasn’t going to forgive him, regardless of his well-meaning apologies and explanations. Even if he told her how he felt, she wasn’t going to relent. After all, he’d kept the truth from her far longer than he should have. Now she wouldn’t believe him.
Ryan finished the papaya and banana curry appetizer with regret. It was delicious—and one of the best curry dishes he’d ever eaten. The delicate fruit flavors tantalized his palate and made him want more, much more. Waiting patiently, he watched as the waiter exchanged his empty dish for a salad of thinly sliced avocado, palm hearts, and onion garnished with green olives.
“Jennifer’s Caribbean dinner is starting off well. Don’t you think?” Sheila asked.
Ryan looked at Sheila seated to his left, keenly aware that he was the center of attention at the round table in spite of two lovely women seated on either side of him. Helga sat next to him on the right and Mike was seated next, between Helga and the Captain. “It’s very imaginative. I’m looking forward to the baked ginger dolphin and calypso potato cakes.”
“She’s a wonderful chef!” Helga’s smile broadened in approval. “I can’t wait to get a copy of her cookbook.”
The Captain looked up from his discussion with Mike and added. “I’m happy to advise all of you that Jennifer will soon join us for the main course and dessert. You will be able to enjoy this delightful meal with your friend.”
CRUISE TO ROMANCE Page 16
