I wanted him inside of me.
“Did you wash the clothes I left over here the other day?” he asked as he slowly pushed me away from his chest.
“Yes. They’re in the laundry room, washed and folded,” I answered, wishing he hadn’t pushed me away.
“I’m going to take a quick shower. I’ve been on the bike all day, had that damned meeting, and then to the bar. I feel filthy.”
“Ok, I’ll grab them for you.” I said as I turned toward the laundry room.
When I returned from the laundry room, he was already in the bathroom. I speculated what he may be thinking, what kind of mood he might be in. I always wondered what he was thinking. I wanted more than anything for this relationship to work, and sometimes it was difficult to convince myself it would.
Communication is key, Erik had told me. He had told me that many times. He was not always willing to volunteer his feelings or thoughts to me, and left me to guess what he was thinking or feeling. I haven’t much experience with figuring out men, and sometimes I just wish he’d tell me what he wanted me to do. If he did, we’d both be much happier.
I placed the clothes on the arm of the couch and sat down. The sound of the shower starting and him moving the shower curtain back and forth assured me he had started his shower. Maybe the shower would make him feel better and a little more lively. I’m sure the fight in the bar probably has him exhausted.
Life is about opportunities and options. I’m going to give you both. An option to apologize and an opportunity to walk away. I started to get wet thinking about it. There was something both sickening and sexy about watching men fight. Watching Erik do what he did was sexy. No one had ever stood up for me before. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was because I watched it happen. Maybe it was because…
“Kelli. Come in here!” Erik screamed from the bathroom.
Shit. What did I do? I forgot to give him his clothes. Is there shampoo in there? He needs a razor. I didn’t buy him razors. Shit.
I opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. “Yes?” I asked.
“Get in here,” he responded from inside the shower.
“You want me to…”
“It’s pretty fucking simple, Kelli. Take off your clothes and get in the shower,” he laughed from behind the shower curtain.
I quickly undid my pants and pushed them down to my feet and kicked them aside. I unbuttoned the first two buttons on my shirt, pulled it over my head, and dropped it on the floor beside my pants. I tossed my bra onto the pile and pulled off my socks.
“I thought maybe you were mad at me,” I said as I pulled the shower curtain open.
“Baby girl, if I’m mad at you, I’ll let you know,” he said as he stepped toward the rear of the shower.
He looked massive in the small area of the shower. I stepped into the shower facing him, with my back toward the shower head. The warm water against my body startled me and I shivered.
His chest muscles quivered as he stood facing me.
“Water too cold? Too hot?” his biceps flexed as ran his hands through his hair.
“No, it feels great…just wasn’t ready for it,” I said as I tilted my head back, allowing my hair get wet.
“Turn around and face the shower,” he lowered his hands and whispered.
“Yes sir,” I responded, turning to face the shower head.
As the water pelted my face and chest, his hands worked from my upper back to my thighs. Back and forth they massaged, the feeling of his fingertips pressing into my skin became hypnotic. My eyes closed and my hands against the shower wall, I tried to anticipate where his hands would move next.
With his thumbs pressing into my inner thighs and his fingers on the outside, his hands slid up and down the length of my legs. As his thumbs met the bottom of my butt, I felt the pressure of his body against me. His hips pressing against my butt, and his chest against my back, I bent my knees and pushed encouragingly against him.
His right hand slid around my stomach and slowly up my torso to my breast. As he cupped my breast in his hand, he whispered into my left ear.
“Grab the shower head, baby girl. Don’t let go of it. Do you understand me?” he whispered.
“Yes…yes, sir,” I answered as I reached for the shower head with both hands.
His left arm brushed against me as he reached down and turned the water temperature to hot. My muscles tensed as the water temperature increased. As my legs straightened and my knees locked, he began to pinch my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
“Bend your knees, and back your little ass up to me, baby,” he insisted.
I grasped the shower head and bent my knees. I felt the pressure of his cock against my pussy. His left hand reached around my hip and slid between my legs. As his finger began to massage my clit my legs started to shake. I felt his finger penetrate me and I started to tingle.
“From this day forward, from this moment forward, you will ask permission to have an orgasm. Heaven help you if you have an orgasm without permission,” he whispered into my left ear.
I let go of the shower head and turned toward him.
“Excuse me? Permission? For orgasms?” I asked, wondering why he would even say such a thing.
“Turn around, Kelli. Grab the shower head,” he demanded.
I turned, grabbed the shower head, and asked again. “You’re serious? Permission?’
“Yes. For every one of them. You ask, I either give you permission, or I tell you to wait. You comply, it’s simple,” he responded as he grabbed my waist.
“And this isn’t a joke?” I asked, confused.
“No, Kelli, this isn’t a joke,” he whispered into my left ear.
I held the shower head and thought about what he had said. For every one of them. You ask, I either give you permission, or I tell you to wait. You comply, it’s simple. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought he would ever think of some crazy shit like this. Tie me up, blindfold me, beat me, spank me, slap me, pinch me, poke me, hell…even burn me. But no orgasms?
What the fuck?
I felt his thumb slide inside my pussy. The web of his hand pressed against my clit with each stroke. He began to pull my hair tighter and tighter. As he pulled my head backward, he whispered into my left ear.
“Fuck my hand, baby girl. Fuck it. Fuck it hard. Push your little pussy against my thumb. Grind it,” he rasped into my ear.
I bent my knees and pushed against his hand as he pressed his thumb deeper inside of me. As I held the shower head, the hot water sprayed onto my face and chest. My hair still in his hand, he pulled firmly as I arched my back to relieve the pain. The more I gave, the harder he pulled.
With his chest pressed tight against my back, he began to bite my shoulder as he continued to pull my hair. His thumb worked in and out of me, the web of his hand pressing against my clit with each stroke. His mouth worked across my shoulder, up my neck, and to my ear, dragging his teeth along my skin. As his mouth met my ear, he began to whisper.
“Baby girl. Focus. Focus for me. Keep your eyes closed and focus,” his face pressed against the side of my head, his lips touched my ear.
He slid his thumb in and out of my pussy at a more rapid pace. His hand pressed my clit with more force. I kept my eyes closed and relaxed. The water pelting my face, and his hand working in and out became hypnotic. I relaxed my legs, and my pussy began to contract. Oh lord. This is going to be huge.
“Baby girl, don’t you dare cum without permission,” he growled into my ear.
Oh fuck. Jesus. Permission.
His thumb sliding in and out of my pussy, his palm smacking my clit, and the shower itself was all I could take.
“Can I cum?” I muttered.
“No,” he responded quietly in my ear.
He pulled my hair, my back arched more, and he kissed my neck. I felt his hips press against my butt, and his hand slid away from my pussy. As his cock began to penetrate me, I stood on my toes and moaned.
It�
�s been too long, go…in…slow.
Pressing me toward the front of the shower, he began to grind against me. With his massive chest against my back, the hot water sprayed against my face. His hard cock, the fight, and my mixed-up mind proved to be way too much for me. With my eyes closed, I did as he wished. I lost track of time and what was happening. I tensed my muscles and focused on a feeling instead of the feeling. As he continued to fuck me forcefully, I concentrated on my hands squeezing the shower head.
Don’t cum Kelli.
One hand slid to my neck and began to squeeze as he forced himself into me harder and harder. His hands tightened around my neck. This was a trigger for me. I needed a release.
“Oh God. Now?” I begged.
“No,” he responded as he began to work himself in and out of my wet pussy.
“Oh God, Erik. Please?” I tensed every muscle to keep from reaching climax.
“No,” he whispered as he let go of my hair. He slid his hands down and cupped my breasts in each hand.
No, grab my neck again. Squeeze it.
As he pinched my nipples and squeezed my breasts, he continued to force his cock in and out of me. His hips smacking against my butt pressed me toward the shower wall. I curled my toes and tightened my leg muscles. The feeling of reaching climax began to mount. The hot water hitting my face, the temperature in the shower, and being filled with his cock was more than I could continue to take.
“Who owns you?” he whispered forcefully into my ear.
“You, sir,” I responded.
“Please, Erik. Please?” I begged.
“Not yet, baby girl,” he growled into my left ear.
His hands slid from my breasts to my neck. He positioned one above the other and began to squeeze my neck in his hands as he forced his cock in and out of my pussy. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to cum. I started to ask again when he bellowed into my ear.
“Cum, baby girl. Cum,” he demanded as he squeezed my neck in his hands.
I relaxed my legs and immediately began to cum. The release almost made me collapse. I continued to contract over and over, the deep inner orgasm buckling my knees. I had never felt anything like this before, and as my legs shook I screamed.
“Oh my fucking God, Erik. Oh God. Stop, please stop,” I pleaded
He continued to squeeze my neck and fuck me harder. The sound of his hips slapping my butt echoed in the shower. As he pressed himself against me harder, he held his cock deep inside of me. His cock began to swell, and as my legs quivered I felt him explode inside of me.
“Oh….my….fuck. Erik. Oh. My. God. Oh…”
From deep inside, my body released and shook. Every ounce of me quivered. The intensity of the orgasm was more than I could take. My legs collapsed, and I began to fall.
Quickly, his hands moved from my neck to under my breasts, and pulled me to standing. As I stood and shook, he turned me to face him. His hands against my shoulders, he pushed me against the wall of the shower and held me there.
“Baby girl, you never cease to amaze me,” he laughed as his lips met mine.
His hands slid from my shoulders to behind my neck. He lightly kissed my lips again, and pulled my head to his shoulder. As he held my head against his shoulder, his hands slid to my waist.
“You okay, baby?” he asked quietly as he leaned back and looked into my eyes.
“I’m okay. I thought I was going to faint,” I responded, my legs still feeling like a new born giraffe.
“How was that orgasm?” he asked, laughing.
“Give me an hour or so, and I may be able to tell you. It’s tough standing right now,” I giggled.
He reached down, turned off the water, and slid his forearm behind my knees, and picked me up.
“Erik, be careful,” I pleaded as I reached around his neck.
“Hold still, you’re kind of slippery,” he laughed as he carried me out of the shower.
As I stood and tried to recover from the most earth shattering orgasm of my life, Erik dried me off with a towel. As he pressed the towel into my hair it was more apparent than ever.
Erik Ead knew what was best for me, sexually.
ERIK. The quality of people we surround ourselves with is instrumental in the progress of our lives. In many senses, it defines who we are, what we will become, and what will become of us. Being surrounded by ‘yes men’ was what some people wanted. I surrounded myself with people I held as being valuable to me and my life. People that offered me something in return. People that may be able to effectively challenge me when needed.
“You know I ain’t felt this good in years,” Teddy admitted as he pulled his finger from his beer mug.
“What is with you and sticking your finger in there?” I shook my head from side to side as I watched him suck the beer from his finger.
“It’s just so fucking cold, it’s unbelievable,” he rocked his stool onto the rear legs.
“So what exactly you and Kelli got, Doc? You ain’t gonna let her go to school, but you two ain’t in a relationship. You go downtown to stay at her house four times a week, but you won’t let her come to your house. Tell me what’s in that head of yours, Doc,” Teddy leaned forward, resting his massive forearms on the edge of the table.
“I’m testing her. Seeing how she responds to me, situations, and certain things. I’m trying to determine…”
“You’re fulla shit. That’s what you are. You fulla fuckin’ shit. You’re steady fucking with that poor girls head. Trying to find something that she don’t do well. Something that you wouldn’t even give a thimble full of fucks about. Then you’re gonna hang her with it. Tell her that’s the reason she’s gotta go,” he rubbed his beard with his hand and raised an eyebrow.
“You done?” I asked.
“Nope. Just getting’ started. Answer the question,” he leaned back at took a drink of his beer.
“I want a certain type of woman – a submissive woman. More importantly, I want one that is mentally stable. One that isn’t a wreck and likes what I like. I’ve told myself all along if I could find one woman that was everything I wanted, I would settle down,” I placed my elbows on the table and smiled with my response.
“You talking in circles no question answering motherfucker. Fine. Let’s act like we’re on Law and Order. You seen that show, ain’t ya? I’m gonna ask a question, and you’re gonna answer it,” he leaned into the table, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands.
“You love that girl?”
I thought about his question. I anticipated him asking this sooner or later. There were things about her that I loved, and I enjoyed her company, but love was something that developed over time. We had spent the summer together, not a lifetime.
“No. I enjoy her company, and we fit well together,” I offered.
Teddy stared at me for a moment without moving. With his eyes focused, he studied my face.
“Other than your mother, you ever loved a woman?” he asked without moving an inch.
“No,” the answer came quickly.
“You see yourself ever being able to love a woman? To be able to give yourself to someone?” he rocked his chair and waited on an answer.
“Well, depends on the woman, I suppose. I imagine if I meet the right person, and she can make me comfortable that …”
“Okay. Stop,” Teddy interrupted, leaning his chair onto all four legs.
He placed his hands on the edge of the table, and squinted his eyes, “I’m gonna say some shit. You may or may not like it, but it needs to be said.”
“Your mom, Doc. She’s gone. Ain’t nothing gonna change that. Let her be gone. Let go of her. It don’t mean you don’t care. It don’t mean you forgot her. It just means you’re ready to live. Ready to get on with it. The fact that some simple minded drunken sum bitch hit your mom at a stop light don’t mean every woman you ever meet is gonna leave you. Shit. You’re the fucking educated man, act like it.”
“This isn’t about my
mother, Teddy,” I interrupted.
“It damn sure is,” he pushed himself away from the table.
“I look at it this way. We got three options in life. Get busy living, get busy just being, or get busy dying. You’re somewhere between dying and just being. You’re living your life making excuses for why you can’t live your life,” he stood up and finished what was left of his beer.
“Well, I think…” I hadn’t even got started finishing my though process when Teddy interrupted.
“I think we’re done talking about this. That’s what I think. Start lovin’ that girl or do with her what you’ve done with every other woman. Tell her to kick rocks,” he said as he walked around the table toward me.
“I’m going back to the scene of the crime, I gotta piss,” he laughed.
“Scene of the crime?” I asked.
“Yeah, where you whipped that kids ass the other night. In front of the pisser,” he laughed over his shoulder as he walked toward the door that led into the restaurant.
As he walked in, I tried to convince myself I would have fought the kid over any number of circumstances of him being disrespectful to a woman. Without a doubt, I would have stood up for any woman that he treated with disrespect – if he did so in my presence. But he wasn’t being disrespectful to any woman. He was being disrespectful to Kelli. My baby girl. I gritted my teeth when I thought about it.
As adults, we are who we are. Change, in an adult, is extremely difficult. It takes time, and ultimately takes tremendous effort. I have never been in a loving relationship. That doesn’t mean I can’t do so. It does mean it wouldn’t be second nature for me. It would take time, effort, and a willingness to change. The question, I suppose, was whether or not I was willing or wanting to make changes.
Teddy walked into the patio area holding another beer in his hand, laughing.
“This is so fucking cold it hurts to hold it,” he laughed. The beer mug gripped tightly in his hand.
“That’s why it has a handle on it, dumb ass,” I chuckled.
“I’m just saying, this beer is so god damned cold it hurts,” he set the new beer mug down on the table and moved his empty mug to the side.
BABY GIRL II For the Ones We Love Page 5
