Me and Alfie after smashing the world record for bra-unclipping
THE SUCCESS CONUNDRUM
We all know how to best deal with failure. After a blown exam, disastrous job interview, or screwed-up work project, it’s best to dust yourself off and get on with life—to try again and not become overly disheartened. It’s hard, I know, but all the big hitters in business have experienced disaster in their careers. Look at almost anyone you admire. There are some pretty epic fails in the lives of the super-successful. But what these people rarely do is explain how they’ve handled success, because, believe me, it can be just as tricky as dealing with failure.
If that sounds weird, let me explain. When I first started out on YouTube I never expected to be a success. I didn’t imagine that I would be attracting millions of viewers or bringing out my own book. It came as a shock to me and at times it still feels really surreal. There were moments where I wondered if I deserved it, I had the occasional flashes of self-doubt. Success put me in the public eye and for every ten people that liked me, there was a person or two that didn’t. I started getting criticism and nasty comments on my page. It was hard to take at times.
But it’s not just in my lifestyle where success can be a tricky issue. It can take place in yours, too. Glory can come in the shape of an impressive exam result or job promotion. You might get lauded for some charity work or a spectacular athletic achievement. And when praise comes in from all quarters, it can be hard to handle well. You might not have expected success and the news could go to your head. Handling acclaim might be hard to accept, especially if you’re a modest person. All of these issues can cause pressure. It can freak people out. But not anymore: I’m going to teach you how to handle the ups, and be a better person for it.
A Q&A with some of you guys at Vidcon 2014. Live Q&As are one of my favorite things to do—interacting with you, my audience.
IMAGINE SUCCESS: IT COULD BE YOU!
Picture your success at the start of a project, or before you go into a job interview or exam. Of course, you don’t want to build yourself up to a point where you could be easily knocked down, so don’t get overconfident. And never get ahead of yourself, because you’ll only experience disappointment if you fail or fall short. But do imagine how you’d react if your plans come off. That way it won’t be a shock if victory comes your way.
PREPARE FOR THE HATERS
The more successful you get in anything, the more people will try to bring you down. Get that job promotion and suddenly you’re in a different position. Yeah, it’s great news, but there’s an added pressure or two to deal with. For example, if you’re a newly installed manager, you’ll have a team to look after. There are different tasks to do and different characters to care for; there’s extra expectation from the people above you. All these things can affect a person, and it’s easy to overthink the situation and become thrown off track really quickly.
Then add into the mix the fact that you’re in a position of power, which you might not have experienced before. You’re successful in work, so you’ll be made out to be a positive example, and not everyone will like that. Some people might be unhappy that you’ve become successful. Other people will become jealous. This is going to happen throughout your life, no matter what you’re doing—even at school. You’re also not going to be able to please everyone, especially if you’re telling them what to do.
Girls’ night in with Caspar and Alfie. Trying to clear our “paws” with nose strips.
I experienced something similar in my career. The bigger I became on YouTube, the more criticism I got—as well as the nice stuff—and it knocked me for a loop because it was a shock. But if you can tell yourself that it’s coming, that some people might get funny about you being successful, then it’ll be less of an unpleasant surprise when it happens.
MODESTY
Don’t get cocky. I was always brought up to be humble, I was told to be modest in whatever I achieved, and I feel that’s very important with success. I’m lucky with my group of friends. The whole YouTube thing hasn’t changed our relationship at all. They’ll still throw banter my way, which keeps me pretty grounded. Sure, you want to be proud if you’re doing well, but you also don’t want to be bragging left, right, and center. Don’t be the show-off. Don’t shove your success down other people’s throats.
Having said that, it’s important to enjoy your personal achievements. So, think to yourself, This is great, look at what I’ve achieved! Just don’t go on about it to the world. You’ll only make yourself a bigger target for the haters. And they’ll be sure to come for you at the first sign of a slipup.
REMEMBER, SUCCESS IS A GOOD THING!
Be confident in yourself. Don’t think, I didn’t deserve this; otherwise you’ll leave a trail of underlying inferiority. Even if your success was a fortuitous break, chances are you’ve made that good luck for yourself in some way, so enjoy it.
I remember experiencing this for a while. After I’d won YouTube’s Next Up competition I kept thinking, Wow! Why me? YouTube’s a hobby; why have they decided to give this to me? Of course it’s massively cool and I feel really appreciative, but am I worthy of it? Those thoughts kept going through my mind day after day.
I snapped myself out of it when I met the other winners. YouTube had flown everyone to London. They put us all up in a fancy hotel and for a week we worked with Google on a week’s training course. In the run-up to the event I was so nervous. I’d convinced myself that everyone else would be way more talented than me. I figured that they would have bigger YouTube channels and larger online followings. But when I met everyone, and realized that we were on the same level, all of that disappeared and those worries went away. I felt a lot more comfortable.
Niomi surprised me with this cake when I found out I had won the YouTube Next Up competition.
SHOW GRATITUDE
Most successful people rarely get to the top on their own; they often get there with the help of someone else—a small favor or a big push. That person might have given them an idea. Someone might have helped them to revise or to train. A teacher, coach, or management figure at work could have provided some key expertise on a subject, or an important technique or skill that later proved pivotal to their glory.
If you get that A grade in school and you know your teacher broke their back to help you, then thank them. It’s a courtesy thing and it’s going to make them feel better. If someone has helped you to become successful, show gratitude. Be thankful for that help.
I wouldn’t be where I am today without my viewers. I want to thank them for everything they’ve done for me. Even if it’s just them watching a video of mine or following me on Twitter, that’s helped me. Without them I wouldn’t be doing this—I’d be nothing—and I don’t know where I’d be working. I’d probably still be at college, or chasing down some business idea. I certainly wouldn’t be leading the life I am now.
EVERYONE SEES SUCCESS DIFFERENTLY
What one individual might see as success, another might see as insignificant. If you’re a person who views the things you do as a great achievement, that’s amazing, but don’t compare your work to someone else’s. Other people’s achievements shouldn’t be considered as bigger than yours or inferior. (No one likes a bully, remember?) So if you’ve just made your first short movie, don’t go moaning because it doesn’t live up to the latest Steven Spielberg masterpiece.
Be proud of what you’ve done and where you’re going. If you constantly knock yourself down, you’re never going to believe in your own successes. Start criticizing your achievements, or comparing them to others, and you’ll diminish your satisfaction. You don’t deserve to feel crappy. You’re a winner, remember!
* * *
I. Before we go on, I’m in no way saying I’m to be considered on the same level as The World’s Fastest Man. Just in case any of you think I’m getting too cocky. I know that holding the record for “Most Bangles Put On in Thirty Seconds by a Team of Two” isn’t exa
ctly a comparable achievement.
So here we are at the end of the book. It could be that you’ve read the whole thing from cover to cover, maybe you’ve flicked through and picked out the sections that are relevant to you, or maybe you just stared at the pictures (that’s what I’d probably do first!). Either way, I hope you’ve enjoyed it and that maybe one day it will come in useful.
I know from my own experiences that life isn’t always easy—it can kick you when you least expect it, and it often brings problems that can’t be solved in 24 hours. But with some of the advice you’ve picked up here, and a little help from your friends and loved ones, those challenges—hopefully—won’t seem too tough to overcome.
Thank you to each and every one of you reading this right now for making the last five years so unbelievably incredible for me, and of course for buying my book! Your continued support for everything I do is more than I could ask for and I would be truly lost without you guys. I’d love to know what you think of the book. I can’t wait to hopefully meet you in person and discuss. :)
FINAL LIFE HACKS
CURE THE HICCUPS
Everyone has their theory on how to cure the hiccups, but I find that drinking a glass of water upside down usually does the trick. If this sounds crazy, the next time you have a fit, place your mouth over the opposite side of a glass of water and tip backward. Begin sipping and—bang!—your hiccups are cured! You’ll have to turn your head a little, and you’ll definitely get some funny looks because you’ll spill a lot, but it works. Don’t do it in a fancy restaurant unless you want to get kicked out.
THE iPHONE CRADLE
You’re on a train and you want to watch something on your phone (one of my videos, maybe?) but you don’t have one of those fancy cases. Annoying, right? Well, get your sunglasses or glasses and rest the phone in the folded arms. It works perfectly as a makeshift TV stand and is great for when you go traveling.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This is the section of the book where I’m meant to leave thanks and all that for the people who actually made this book possible. (Warning: don’t expect some kind of class-A Oscar acceptance speech.)
Firstly my thanks have to go to you: my viewers. As I’ve said many times before, I truly appreciate every single one of you for continuously supporting me. Thank you for taking the time to read my book.
Sarah Emsley and Holly Harris from Headline Publishing, who basically made this book possible from start to finish.
Matt Allen for the countless hours we spent together working on the text in the book. My words wouldn’t have made much sense without his help.
Niomi, for her constant love and support in everything I do. The same to my family: Mom, Dad, stepdad Simon, and sisters Tash and Heidi.
The people I work with closely at Gleam: Lucy, who holds everything together and helps me make important decisions; Alex and Chloe for making my day-to-day life a little easier; and to Dom for helping to make things possible.
All of my YouTube friends for sharing the same passions and ambitions in this crazy amazing YouTube world we’re in.
My best mates from back home, for keeping me grounded and always being there for a laugh.
And to Jermayne, who, by inspiring me to change my lifestyle, helped to inspire this book.
MARCUS BUTLER s one of YouTube’s most popular stars, with millions of subscribers. He lives in London.
youtube.com/marcusbutler
marcusbutlerbook.com
@marcusbutler
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Copyright © 2015 Marcus Butler
The right of Marcus Butler to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
First published in 2015 by HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP
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