by Dawn Gray
I walked down and ducked under the tree branches, and opened the large black door that lead into the darkness of the cellar under the house. I walked on into the darkness and then I stopped and looked back. Julian stood less than a few feet away from me and I stared at him.
"My parents were vampires," I told him sternly. He didn't seem at all surprised, but his eyes showed the confusion. "I found out the summer that I left that my biological parents were vampires and that they were killed, one before I was born, and one after. I knew this the whole time and I let my son be born into this life. He is a vampire also, a prince, and now his life is in danger because of my stupidity."
"You knew all this time who your parents were and you never told me?" Julian asked me, stepping closer.
"I wanted to protect you," I told him. "I needed to protect you. Why do you think that I never talked to you when I saw you standing there the summers we came back to visit? Why do you think I made them think I forgot?"
"You didn't forget? Why didn't you try to contact me?" He asked me. I sighed. "I lived in a dark world for eight years because I thought that I had lost you forever, and now you tell me that you didn't forget."
"I never forgot any of it, Julian. I just chose not to remember," I told him sternly. "I heard my mother speaking to an old woman and a priest the night I found out about my parents. They said that they would kill you to keep us apart, if I chose not to forget you. Do you think that I would ever let that happen? I never forgot you Julian! You were in my thoughts every waking minute of every day for the last eight years. I married Jack because I thought I loved him, and I did, but not like you. I could never love anyone like I did you, so don't hate me just because I needed to protect you."
"I didn't need your protection, Ash! I needed you," he said and I listened to the quiver in his voice.
"And I needed you, but it couldn't happen. You said that yourself before I left, that now I knew your true nature and it couldn't happen. Why? Because we were so different. But we're not, are we? Not anymore, not ever." I turned to leave but he rushed upon me and held me against the wall. I looked into his eyes, which seemed to glow in the dark, and he stared at me, love struck and sad. "You told me that I was beautiful before I left and I told you that I wouldn't ever forget that, and I never have."
"You make me crazy," he said softly, through his teeth, trying to hold in his emotions. "You've just come back to me and already you're driving me nuts. When I'm near you, all of my senses are overloaded, my body doesn't know how to react, and my mind spins in circles."
I smiled and shook myself from him. As I began to move away, he grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. Julian wrapped his strong hands around me, leaned down and kissed me, softly, on the lips. My body shivered from his touch, but as I wrapped my arms around him, I knew that he was what I couldn't resist. My knees weakened and we both sank to the ground. I moved away from him, holding his face in my hands. I looked up at his eyes, tried to catch my breath, and then stood. He held my hands tightly, but then the grip loosened and he let go.
I walked back to the entrance and looked at Julian, who now stood in the light only a few feet behind me. I walked out and away from the house.
After standing by the edge of the ocean for about an hour by myself, I felt a presence coming close to me. I didn't want to turn, but as it neared, I wanted to make sure that it didn't want to harm me. I looked at Quinn as he stuck his hands in the pockets of his long tan coat and looked at me. The wind blew his hair down around his face and, as he stood there, and I felt a vibration from him that I had never felt before.
"What the hell did you do to me?" I asked him. He looked confused and shrugged. "When you bit me, what the hell did you do?"
"Ash, I don't know what you’re talking about," he replied. I got annoyed and sighed. I wasn't supposed to remember that, because he had tried to make me forget. I walked up to him and pulled my hair back from my neck to show him the light-colored marks on my neck. "Oh, Jesus."
"Yeah, my thought exactly," I told him. He rubbed his forehead and sighed.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to me, stepping closer as I turned away.
"I know you are, but I can't figure out if that incident started off this chain reaction," I said and ran my hands through my hair. "How come that never happened to me before, why now and not before?"
"It did happen before, the morning after you came here. Your eyes were silver and that's what happens to vampires," Quinn said softly. He walked around and stood in front of me. I tried to look away from him, but he turned my face toward him. "Ash, the changes will pass, give it a week tops and you'll feel better."
"Feel better Quinn?" I asked him and stepped back from him. "Do you realize that I almost attacked a woman tonight? I literally wanted to bite her! What about that will make me feel better?" I questioned him. Suddenly, it hit me, and I looked at him in shock. "Did someone tell you to do that?"
"What?" Quinn asked in a disbelieving tone.
"Did someone tell you to bite me?" I asked him.
"You did what?" A voice interrupted our conversation. Both Quinn and I turned and looked at Julian, who was standing less than five feet away.
"Julian ..." I started to say, but his eyes were locked on his brother. "Julian, listen to me."
"You touched her like that?" He asked Quinn, who suddenly became quite serious. He walked up to Quinn and looked him in the eyes. "You were warned never to touch her, Quinn."
"You're not my master, Julian. I can do as I please," Quinn said seriously. "Yes, I touched her like that, and she liked it."
"What?" I moved closer to them. Julian looked at me and I knew that he believed his brother. "Stop this, right now. We don't need to fight amongst ourselves. We have things to do."
"No, you have things to do," Julian said and looked at the two of us. "I'm going back to France."
I watched him walk away, then I looked at Quinn, and he turned and walked in the other direction. I had once again made it worse than it was. I spent another hour on the beach before I walked into the house and up to Julian's third floor bedroom. I knocked on the door and didn't wait for an answer. I walked in, slowly, and closed the door behind me, then stood there in silence and watched Julian pack.
"You don't have to leave," I told him.
"Why not? Don't you want me out of the way, so you can be with my brother?"
"It's not that way," I told him. He stopped and turned to look at me.
"What way is it then?" He asked. "Please tell me, Ash, because it certainly seems that way to me."
"I don't want your brother, Jules. I want you and I want my son. And if this is how the rest of the time that I'm here is going to be, don't bother packing, because I'm leaving." I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.
"What about your son?" Julian asked as I turned my back to him.
"I'll find him myself," I told him and started to walk out the door. I was halfway down the hallway when I heard his voice again.
"You'll never find him," he said and this made me stop. I turned and looked at him from where I stood. "Not without us."
"And why not, because I'm a woman or because I'm not like you?" I asked him. I walked closer to him and stood right by him. "You don't think I can find my son because I'm just a mortal and the people who have him are vampires. Let me guess; I don't stand a chance."
"No, not really," he said and crossed his arms. I looked at him angrily and slapped him across the face. He looked at me, quite stunned and then he smiled. "You think that hurt, don't you?"
"You know what, Julian, I don't care if it did or didn't, because you’re just like the others. You think you're the world, and if the rest of us don't revolve around you, than we're just something for you to step on," I told him and turned around again.
"This coming from the Queen of 'It's all about me'." He laughed. I looked at him and smiled.
"Good-bye, Julian," I said and waved. "Go back to the hole you crawled out of."
; Before I could move again, he had me backed up against the wall. Our noses were almost touching, and I could see his fangs even from that distance. His eyes began to glow red and his breathing began to race. I remained calm though, never letting onto the fear that started to grow in my stomach.
"I could kill you," he whispered through clenched teeth, letting his vampire side take him over.
"Go ahead," I replied, and moved my hair out of the way, exposing my neck to him.
"You're pushing your luck, Ash," he told me in a violent voice. I caught his eyes and made no expression, but all I felt was emptiness. He looked away from my eyes to the skin on my throat. He looked back at me then quickly lunged at my neck, his teeth touching my skin. My body shivered from the feel of those sharp points on the vulnerable skin of my neck.
"Do it Julian," I told him and raised a hand to the back of his head, pressing gently to tell him that I was serious. I felt them pierce my skin, but only the tip. The blood started to flow even then, and I could almost feel the pain I had experienced before, as they slowly went in deeper. I closed my eyes, turned my head a little bit towards him and felt my cheek touch his skin, and whispered in his ear softly. "Please. Do it quickly,” I said quietly, as the tears started to flow, “because, I would rather die than live without you."
He withdrew from my neck and then, slowly, looked at me again. Our eyes met, and his eyes lightened as he looked from my eyes down to my lips, then slowly moved towards me and kissed me. He was gentle about it, making sure that he didn't hurt me, but I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me, then closed my eyes tightly, hoping that he wouldn't let me go.
7
Julian looked at me as we sat on the bed in his room facing each other, his face was flush and he had taken his shirt off to cool down. He reached out and touched my face with his fingers and then with the palm of his hand. He reached out, touched my shoulder and neck with the other hand, and sighed as his fingers glided over the spot where he had almost bit me, where Quinn had actually done so. He looked me in the eyes and smiled a little.
"I was a fool for ever doubting your feelings for me," he said softly. "I should have known better than to think that you would be with him."
"It was an odd scene," I replied and smiled back at him, leaning into the feel of his hand on my face. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."
"You, Ash, you had nothing to do with this," Julian said quietly and put the other hand on my face. He leaned towards me and kissed me gently on the lips, then on the cheek as he made his way to my ear. "I love you. I always have and I always will."
"I love you, too," I whispered back to him, and he kissed me again. I felt the power rush into me from him, energy so strong that I had nothing to do but give into it, and I did willingly. We kissed for a long time, just lost in the energy between us, but then someone knocked on the door, and didn't wait for an answer.
Michael walked into the room and looked at the two of us, laying on the bed; him with his shirt off and me with mine almost totally unbuttoned. I closed my shirt as Julian sat up, looking quite annoyed with the lack of privacy in the house.
"Didn't your mother ever tell you to knock, and wait for an answer?" Julian said in an angry tone.
"Yes. My mother also told me about not talking to strangers and look where that got me, besides no one ever listens to everything their mother says, do they?" Michael said and smiled a smart-ass grin.
"What do you want, and it better be good?" Julian asked, his patience growing thin.
"David is missing," Michael said and the smile faded. "I haven't been able to find him since Ash threw him against the wall."
"He's a big boy, Michael. He can take care of himself," Julian replied, and stood up, moving towards Michael and Michael moved towards the door. "If you're still worried, we'll look for him in the morning," he told him and finally got him out the door. "Good night, Michael," he said and closed the door. Michael yelled good night through the door and we listened to him walk down the hallway. Julian looked at me and smiled. "Where were we?"
"Right here on the bed, half naked and kissing I think," I replied to him. Julian walked over and lay down on the bed next to me. "We lost the mood, didn't we?"
"I'm afraid so," Julian sighed. He pulled me close to him. The two of us fell asleep together in his bed. It was the best night’s sleep I’d had since my husband had disappeared. I felt safe in his arms, as I had always felt before.
When I opened my eyes the next morning I was staring up at Julian's canopy top and I noticed the odd painting of several naked women kneeling at the feet of some naked man. I laughed at this and Julian opened his eyes. I looked at him and smiled.
"Is that supposed to be you?" I asked him. Julian looked at the painting, smiled, and nodded. "You've got quite a narcissistic view about yourself, don't you?"
"Delusions of grandeur." Julian smiled and stretched, then pulled me close and hugged me. I felt him kiss my neck and then stop.
"What's the matter?" I asked him. He touched my neck, where the two marks were, and then he sat up and looked away from me. I knew that he was angry with himself; I could feel his emotion surging. I sat up myself and moved next to him, rubbing his bare back with my hand as I touched his face with the other. "It's all right, Julian, I'm not mad and I'm not afraid of you. I don't love you any less."
"What if it happens again?" Julian asked and sighed. "What if I can't control it next time and you really get hurt? You have a tendency to strike sensitive nerves, what if the next time I don't stop?"
"You will, Jules," I replied to him, trying to reassure him. "I believe that you have the power to control your nature."
"I haven't been able to yet." He sighed.
"You did last night," I pointed out. He looked at me suddenly, with the knowledge that I was right, but then he turned it around.
"No," he said and shook his head, "you controlled it last night. I felt you."
"Julian, I don't have that power, though, I'd like to think I do. I can't control how you feel, what you do," I replied to him. He looked down at his feet and sighed.
"I want you," he said softly. I smiled and then he looked at me with all the seriousness he could muster. "I want you more now than ever, but I'm afraid of the emotions, of what I might do to you. After the other night, it's obvious that you have some deep hidden connection to our world, and what if being together brings it out? Or, what if it hurts you?"
"Julian, I am about at my wits end trying to hold back my feelings for you. I did it for eight years, eight wasted years."
"They weren't wasted, Ash. Look at who you met, what you did. You brought a life into this world. Jack is your best accomplishment." Julian smiled at me.
"But, now I've lost him and I'm not sure if I will ever get him back," I sighed and looked him in the eyes. "Swear to me that you don't know who has him."
"WHAT?" He asked me and then shook his head. "I would never take your son to get you back into my life, Ash."
"I'm sorry I said that." I looked around at the room we were in, his room, and I sighed. "I think I'm going to go to my room for a while, to think a little bit and then I'll see you at lunch time, okay?"
He smiled at me and nodded. I kissed him on the forehead and walked out of the room, down the stairs and into my quiet room in the far right corner of the house. I stood against the wall and sighed. I was sad and the fact that I still didn't know where Jack was worried me, but then I thought of the witch in Salem and what she showed me that day.
I sat on the floor in my room and with a piece of chalk drew a circle on the wood floor, as I drew it I spoke to the spirits and asked it for guidance during this ritual. As I stood in the middle of the circle I started at the top northern point of the circle and drew a line down in the south-west direction of the circle, up to the east, across to the west, down to the southeast and back up to the north, creating a star with me in the center. I placed candles of different colors at each of these points and as I lit ea
ch one, I said what they represented, starting with the East candle.
Purple. "For Strength."
Light red. "For love."
Blue. "For protection."
Off-white. "For peace of mind."
White. "For my son."
I closed my eyes and let the heat that I felt burn deep in my mind and I envisioned my son close to me. In my mind I followed a point of light, like riding on some fast moving train heading for the end of the tunnel, the light grew brighter and bigger. I felt Jack, I felt him very close to me and I held on to that feeling as the heat and light took over. I opened my eyes and I looked around the brightly lit room. Bars were in front of me, brown wooden bars and, as I looked around, I saw toys, endless stuffed bears, rocking horses, and little decals on the wall and I knew I was in a child's room.
The door opened and I watched two men walk in, two men that I knew quite well. David walked up to the crib first and touched my head, and then I knew that I was seeing this through Jack's eyes. The second man had disappeared when our son was only a couple months old, my husband.
"She's growing stronger," David said as he looked around the room. "Her heritage is coming out and you don't have much time left."
"Nonsense, she's getting too old for it to kick in now. She would have had to have taken blood from one of us years ago to bring on the transformation," Jack said and David grabbed his arm, turning him to face him.
"You underestimate your wife's desire for her son, Jack," David said and released his arm. "I know firsthand how far she has advanced and trust me; you don't stand a chance if you wait any longer."
"Don't worry, David, old boy." Jack laughed. "Everything is under control." He smiled, evilly. "Even my wife."
