by Shona Husk
Land met sky in a never-ending continuum of gray. The oiled snaking river slithered to his right. He turned slowly, scanning his surroundings. Where in this hell was Meryn? He stopped when he saw the rock spire thrusting out of the ground and into the sky like a bridge between hell and heaven. An eternal monument to the time they’d spent in the Shadowlands and Roan’s ability to control the dark magic.
“Home sweet home.” He words fell flat into the dust.
Chapter 20
Brigit rested, tucked into the hospital bed with a mask over her face. It wasn’t the first time Amanda had seen her daughter like that, but she wished it would be the last. While she hadn’t seen Matt die, she’d imagined his fight to breathe would’ve been like Brigit’s. Lungs burning for air, but not being able to find any. She hated it. It never got any easier or any less terrifying. The doctor had yet to examine Brigit and confirm her worst fears—that there was more damage.
If there was, she was going back to the healer; she didn’t care what Brigit said. She blinked, refusing to shed any tears. There was nothing else she could do but put her faith in a cure she only half believed in. Dai made it so easy to believe in magic and her heart cracked a little more…damn him. This was his fault. His leaving upset Brigit. Damn him for being such a beautiful liar. So smooth at deception no one knew how deep the damage ran. He lived in a world of make-believe and she lived in reality, and she’d been sucked at first glance because she was lonely and desperate. Never again.
Amanda stroked Brigit’s forehead and Brigit’s eyelids flickered open. She glared at Amanda, the fight that had caused the attack not forgotten. She picked up her daughter’s hand. She wasn’t cross with Brigit. She was angry with herself for holding onto her daughter so tightly she was suffocating her. Her baby was growing up.
“It doesn’t matter how mad you get with me, or how old you get; you will always be my baby.” Amanda gave Brigit a small smile.
The resentment drained from Brigit’s face. “I don’t hate you really.” Her words were muffled. “Will you stay?”
“I haven’t left.” Amanda kissed her cheek and Brigit moved over to make room for her on the narrow hospital bed. They lay next to each other, the way she did when Brigit was just a toddler and afraid of the doctors. Soon there wouldn’t be room on the bed for her. When had Brigit gotten so big? Where had the time gone? How much of their lives were spent in and out of doctor’s offices and hospitals? Or trying alternative therapies hoping for a cure?
What if there wasn’t one and all they had was now? She didn’t want to waste what time she had with Brigit arguing over things that didn’t matter and chasing all over for magic that didn’t work. She had to make the most of now. Amanda hugged her close, not wanting to think of the future so shrouded in shadows no amount of light could break through.
***
Dai barely had time to take in the harsh landscape before he heard the snap of a bowstring and the whistle of an arrow cutting the air. Then his leg went out from under him and he dropped to his knee. Pain scored through the muscle where the shaft protruded. Black crow feathers had guided it true. The arrow had Meryn’s fine touch all over it. Shot again by his cousin. The pain coalesced in his gut. Didn’t his cousin recognize him? How much of the man remained after being a goblin so long?
“Meryn, stop trying to kill me and we can talk.”
Nothing moved in the endless gray.
He glanced down at the shaft. His first reaction was to rip out the arrow, but it was better to leave it in his leg. Pulling it out would do more damage and would release any vessel that wanted to bleed out. He couldn’t heal himself. He dropped a knife, clenched his teeth, and snapped the shaft. A new wave of pain rolled through his nerves and hit his stomach like a fist.
Bloody Meryn. Still, if he’d meant to kill him, he’d already be dead. He tossed the broken shaft into the dust and picked up his knife, keeping one eye on the horizon, searching for his shooter. He was somewhere near the old spire. Dai squinted, trying to pick shapes out of the gray on gray. An impossible feat. Everything blended as it always had. And he was a sitting target.
A wild man charged at him, yelling the coarse battle cries of a goblin. It was enough to turn Dai’s blood to ice water. He couldn’t run, even if he wanted to. He held his ground, because it was Meryn, or what Meryn had become.
Meryn notched another arrow.
Dai pulled out the goblin knife just in case. In Decangli he called out: “Meryn. It’s Dai. Remember?”
The goblin-man slowed and stopped.
How many memories had Meryn lost? Was there even a man to save or was his mind gone?
Dai seized the delicate opening. “I’m your cousin. We grew up together. We were cursed to be goblin, but the curse broke and we’re men again.” He didn’t lower the blade pointed at the man who taught him how to swing a sword. But the knife was heavy in his hand. He didn’t want to kill Meryn. He was past living for the fight. He just wanted to live.
Meryn circled with the arrow pointed at Dai’s heart. “You speak lies. Men are not goblins. Goblins aren’t men.”
“When the curse broke, you were freed.” And he had failed to consider the impact. He should’ve known, or guessed, what would happen to Meryn. He was lucky they shared a blood connection and Meryn was able to infiltrate his nightmares. The alternative, that he may have never noticed and Meryn would’ve died there, was too awful to acknowledge.
Confusion blanked Meryn’s face. “No. I’ll find the Goblin King. He’ll take me back. Make me goblin again.”
“I can take you to the Goblin King. He now lives in the world of men.”
Dai swallowed; it was uncomfortable kneeling on the cold dust while his blood pooled beneath him, but he didn’t shift his weight. He could show no weakness or Meryn would cut him down. The weakest goblins were killed for fun when there was little else to do. And he was the weakest. He had no magic and the biggest injury.
Meryn edged to the side, and Dai watched, willing himself to still. He knew how Meryn fought. In their old life it was only for practice, never to the death. In one move Meryn dropped the bow and pounced. He pinned Dai in the dust. But Dai kept hold of the knife. They grappled. A knee connected with the broken arrow shaft, driving it deeper into the muscle and grinding against the bone. He clenched his teeth as the pain exploded up his leg. In that second Meryn slammed the back of Dai’s hand into the dirt to try and break his hold on the weapon.
Practice kept his fingers locked around the handle. “I came here to help you. To take you home,” he pleaded through gritted teeth.
“This is my home.”
Dai pressed the tip of his goblin blade against the soft piece of skin beneath Meryn’s beard.
Meryn stilled, then grabbed a spare knife out of Dai’s vest and brought the cold metal to rest against the base of Dai’s throat. A killing position.
A fight wasn’t fair when only one person was willing to kill. Dai swallowed and the blade bit deeper. Above him, Meryn stared down with eyes as gray as the Shadowlands. But his irises were free of the yellow that marked a man fading to goblin. He had a chance to recover if they got back to the Fixed Realm. With his next breath, Dai arched and pushed, throwing Meryn to the side. He scrambled upright, ignoring the shaking in his leg and the tightening of the muscle that didn’t want to support him. He hadn’t returned to the Shadowlands to die at his cousin’s hand.
“You don’t remember Roan? What about Brac, Anfri, and Fane?” He held the knife out, keeping Meryn away. He couldn’t kill him and he couldn’t leave him. The goblins would have him eventually. “Your wife? And babies?”
Meryn went for his legs. Dai brought the hilt of the knife down between Meryn’s shoulder blades. Meryn grunted, but his hands were on the arrow, and he twisted as they fell. Dai’s back hit the dust.
Stars exploded in the Shadowlands, and Dai struggled to find a breath as burning agony swept through his blood. Screw this. He grabbed a fistful of Meryn’s clothes. They
could fight in the Fixed Realm and sort it out there.
Even though he couldn’t see it in the Shadowlands he knew the bright golden light of Amanda was still threaded through his hand. He pictured it as he’d last seen it and felt along it. The pull of the Fixed Realm was there. Then the thread stretched tight and snapped like a whip that cut him to the bone and shocked his heart. For a moment he couldn’t think or move. He’d never experienced pain so severe. The smarting brought tears to his eyes. He’d lost her. Really lost her. The connection was gone. Severed. Amanda didn’t want anything to do with him; she’d cut him free to die in the Shadowlands. Letting Meryn kill him would hurt less. He sucked in the cold, tasteless air that froze his lungs. Each breath got easier even if the pain didn’t lessen.
Meryn’s hand pressed against his throat, his nails biting into flesh. In the darkness of his mind he groped around, searching for a thread strong enough to draw them back to the Fixed Realm. The sky got darker and his lungs burned like he’d swallowed hot coals. He felt a connection and let himself be dragged back to the Fixed Realm, Meryn held tight in his other fist.
Dai stumbled as his feet his solid ground. The room was dim and smelled like antiseptic. Something wasn’t right. He’d expected to arrive in Eliza’s house, after being pulled back by his brother. Roan wasn’t there and yet the thread ended. He’d been dragged here for a reason. He glanced around the room and realized he was in a hospital. He stomach sank as his gaze landed on the bed. Brigit.
She had pulled him back. The girl who’d once been his sister had saved him. The wound that bound them together was strong enough to bring him back from the Shadowlands…and the last piece of the puzzle fell into place. Mave knew her brother would need to be rescued from the Shadowlands after seeing him as a goblin. But she wouldn’t have remembered why she was holding on to him in her next life—only that she couldn’t go. Her love for a brother she couldn’t remember had saved him from a slow death in the Shadowlands.
Meryn snarled and shoved him as if to continue the fight. Dai struggled to keep his balance and grip on Meryn. Brigit stirred. Dai glanced at her and saw the extent of damage in her little body. In that second of distraction Meryn slammed his knee into the wound. Dai grunted as pain spiraled through his body and burst in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t do this here in front of Brigit. But he couldn’t leave her either. With every breath her body was unraveling. He had to do something to save her.
Meryn’s fingers dug into his arm. He couldn’t split his focus between the two of them. Meryn would have to wait—he might be damaged, but he wasn’t dying. Dai released his grip on Meryn’s tattered clothing and thrust him through the fabric of reality to his apartment.
Dai’s muscles shook as he dropped to his knees next to Brigit’s bed. Her tiny form was swathed in blankets, a mask over her face. She was falling apart as he watched.
Without a second thought he sent out delicate fibers loaded with his life energy. They brought the damaged pieces of Brigit together and sealed the rips. Once helped, her body began fixing itself. As he watched, the weave of her body strengthened and thickened, healing damage that he’d done too many lifetimes before. The connection they had wouldn’t be broken, but next time she would be free. His debt to her was settled. And her need to help her brother was completed.
He leaned heavily against the bed, struggling to stay upright as the tension that had been building became a full-fledged headache. Too much magic. Too much energy expended. He needed to lie down, but he couldn’t stop there. He had to get himself home…and then face Meryn. What was he going to do with his goblin cousin?
Brigit touched his hair and Dai lifted his head.
She looked at him, her eyes clear. Then she tugged off the mask. “I was dreaming of you. I knew you’d come back.”
“You brought me back. Thank you.” The floor beneath his knees was slick. He glanced down. His blood stained the floor. He was losing too much blood. He went to heal the wound but the gray threads of the Shadowlands embedded in his leg with the arrow made that impossible. He’d have to cut out the arrow before he could he heal the injury. He had to leave before he passed out. He tried to stand.
She sat up. “Don’t go.”
“I have to.” He couldn’t stay any longer.
“Mommy needs you. Daddy says you have to stay so he can go.”
He couldn’t let Amanda find him there. He wasn’t ready to face her, he didn’t know what to tell her or how to explain how he’d healed Brigit. Yet he knew he’d have to. The same way he’d have to tell Roan about Meryn. Just not tonight.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Dai drew up all the energy he could manage and prayed he got it right. With a whoosh, he fell back into his apartment. For a moment he did nothing but lay on the wood floor, breathing hard, a cold sweat on his skin and the pounding of his heart in his ears. He’d poured too much magic into healing Brigit. He closed his eyes and let the dizziness pass.
After a moment he realized something was wrong. Meryn didn’t try to attack him and there was cold wind blowing through the apartment. He cracked open his eyes. Had he come to the right place?
He saw his empty bookshelves. Yes. It was his house. He went to sit up, but a polished black boot stepped onto his chest and forced him back down.
Mr. Vexion leaned over. “Welcome back to the Fixed Realm, Mr. King. You have been busy.”
Dai couldn’t shift beneath the weight and he couldn’t grab onto any magic. He was exhausted and enjoying his last few breaths—he sighed and let his bruised and tired muscles relax—they may as well be peaceful.
Vexion pulled off his gloves and placed them in the mouth of his fur stole. The stole blinked at Dai and snarled.
“Manipulation to acquire property.” Vexion raised one finger. “Theft.” Two fingers. “Time distortion and inter-realm transportation.” Four fingers. “Healing of an unaware minor.” Five fingers. “Have I left anything off?”
“Breathing?”
Vexion’s lips twitched but didn’t make it into a smile. “You didn’t listen very closely, did you?”
“I listened. I ignored.”
“Come on, sorcerer, you’ve got to do better than thisss—bleeding out on the floor of your trashed apartment.” He put more pressure on Dai’s chest. For a little man he was heavy.
Dai grunted. “I’ve made amends for killing my sister. I’ve rescued my cousin from the Shadowlands and lost the only woman I’ve ever loved. So if you’re going to kill me, just do it so I can be reborn and start again in my next life.”
Vexion laughed like sheets of sandpaper being rubbed together. “You won’t be reborn with your knowledge; you’re human.”
“I don’t care.”
“I do. I’ve been watching you. Waiting to see what you’d do without your preciousss booksss. To see how you’d apply the knowledge you’d learned. I needed to see beyond your mind and into your heart.” He lifted his boot off Dai’s chest. “Men like you don’t come along very often. It’s even rarer that they will risk their own life for another.” Vexion pulled a book out of his pocket. “Rules for magic in the Fixed Realm.” He dropped it on the floor next to Dai’s head. “Learn them. You’ll need them.”
Dai forced himself to sit up. This had all been a test to see if he was worthy of getting his books back? He should’ve known. No lore was gained without a trial of some kind. “What’s the catch?”
“Your transgressionsss will disappear.” Vexion patted the head of his stole and the tail twitched, wrapping itself around his other arm.
“What do you want from me?”
“Your servicesss occasionally.”
“I’m not for sale.”
Vexion squatted down. His coat raised its head and growled around the gloves. “You’re on retainer. Birch might need your services. Artifacts are discovered that would be better left hidden. People put what magic they can use to ill purpose. Occasionally there are bigger threats. We’d much prefer you on our side.
”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Of course. I cannot force you to do anything. However…I believe time distortion is still a mandatory memory wipe.”
“You’re blackmailing me?”
“Blackmail is an ugly word. I prefer coercion and a good outcome for everyone.”
A good outcome for everyone? Dai took the opportunity to ask for what he’d wanted all along. “I want full access to my library.”
“I’ll go one better. You’ll have access to the full Birch library. It makes Alexandria look like a private collection.”
In exchange for his services they were giving him the opportunity to become more powerful. Access to their library was an offer he couldn’t turn down. But he didn’t want Vexion knowing that.
“And if I refuse?”
“I have time to wait.” Vexion looked at the spreading blood. “Do you?”
Dai laughed. Whether he lived or died, Birch still solved their problem. But if he lived, he still had a chance to solve the one thing he cared about. Putting things right with Amanda.
“You must have other mages in your service. Why me?”
“We have no one human on staff. We haven’t for a long time. Maybe it is time to fix that. The world is changing again.”
Dai nodded. He’d seen many shifts over the years. The old ways were coming back. People were trying to be more in tune with the world and to look beyond themselves…or some were. At the moment there was a balance. Which way would the scales tip? Not even he could predict that. “Okay.”
Vexion smiled, but the toothless grin didn’t fool Dai. Vexion could still bite. “Got some clear skin?”
