She leaned her head against his arm, obviously exhausted. A faint boom of thunder sounded in the distance and she shuddered again.
“She’s exhausted and probably cold. You should get her changed and into bed,” Archer told him quietly. “She needs some rest.”
Doc nodded. He stood and reached down, pulling her into his arms. “Thanks for looking after her, man.”
“Anytime.”
Archer watched the bedroom door close and felt a sharp stab of longing. He examined the feeling, wondering if he was jealous.
There was a bit of that. But most of what he felt was longing. To be in that room with them. Helping to take care of Caley.
Fuck.
It was going to be a long night.
12
Doc carried her into her bedroom.
She was exhausted, emotionally spent. She couldn’t believe she’d acted the way she had with Archer earlier. But she’d been lost in the past. She’d confused Doc with Dave. And she couldn’t go through that again.
Was love worth the risk of losing someone?
She just didn’t know. A few days ago, she’d have said no. But she was so lonely. Was spending her life on her own any better?
God, she was so confused.
“Baby doll, I can hear you thinking from here,” Isaac told her. “Put your mind to rest for a while.”
“How?” she asked. “I feel like it’s whirling around and around, and I can’t stop it.”
“I can help you, if you can give me a bit of trust.”
She thought about that. Could she? She shouldn’t. She should be more careful. But who was she kidding? She was here alone with him and his brother. They could do anything to her, and she had no help for miles.
Yet she wasn’t afraid of them hurting her. All her fear had been about Doc getting hurt.
“I think I can,” she whispered.
“Then just let go for tonight. Let it all go. Stop thinking. All you have to do, right now, is what I tell you to do.”
“I…” Christ, could she?
“You’ll have a safeword. You can stop it at any time. But this is only about taking care of you. It’s not about sex. It’s not about me. It’s all about you. Okay? There’s no play, nothing sexual. I just…I have a deep need to take care of you, baby doll. It’s about who I am. My need to care for those around me. I can see you’re struggling. I want to ease that.”
“So you’d do this for anyone?”
He snorted. “Ahh, no. I haven’t taken care of anyone like this in a long, long time. Last time I tried; it all went horribly wrong. You’re special, Caley. You’re not like anyone else.”
The tension in her eased. It was what she needed to hear. She didn’t want to just be a person in a long list who he took care of.
She was special.
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Okay.” He set her down next to the bed.
“What do I need to do?”
“Just listen to me. Do you want to go Little?”
She shook her head. It might be easier in some ways, but she wasn’t ready for that. She’d shown him her Little side briefly. That was all she could manage right now.
“No? That’s okay. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Although, for the record, I think your Little is adorable, and I would love to spend more time with her.”
She could tell he meant every word. More tension eased. Jesus, he was potent. Archer was like Scotch. Smooth with a burn. But Isaac, he was a craft beer. Unique, with a bite.
“Okay, baby girl. For tonight, I’m just Doc or Sir. Whatever you would like. What’s your safeword?”
“Banana.”
“Banana?”
“I hate bananas.”
His eyes twinkled. “That so?”
“Uh-huh. They smell bad, they taste bad. The texture.” She shuddered. “Ick.”
“Are you a fussy eater, baby doll?”
She flushed. “Maybe a bit.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You can’t survive on frozen meals and snacks.”
Well, why not?
“Come on, let’s get you out of those clothes and into your pajamas.”
She glanced down at what he held in his hands. They were old, faded flannel pajamas with pictures of wiener dogs on them.
“Got a fondness for dachshunds?”
“Yes. I think they’re so cute.”
Maybe she should get a dog. Although she should probably get something big that would also serve as protection.
“Arms up, baby.”
“Umm.” She was not ready for him to see her naked.
He studied her then nodded. “I’ll go brush my teeth in the other bathroom. You get ready. I expect to find you in bed in ten minutes, understand?”
“Yes, Doc.”
He lightly brushed his lips against her forehead. “Good girl.”
He looked at her bed. “I’ll make that when I get back. What’s this?” He pointed at her body pillow.
“I, umm, I sleep with it. I find it hard to sleep. This helps. It makes me feel secure.”
He nodded. “You need your sleep.”
She quickly got changed after he left, throwing her clothes in the hamper. Well, she threw them at the hamper, only her pants landed in it.
She’d get the rest in the morning. She yawned and stumbled her way into the bathroom to get ready. She really was exhausted. It had been an eventful day and evening. What time was it?
As she climbed into bed, glancing down at her clock. Holy hell, it was nearly midnight. And she’d gotten up early this morning. No wonder she was exhausted. She left the lamp on a soft glow. She hated sleeping in the dark.
It hadn’t worried her when Dave slept beside her. But sleeping on her own was scary.
Being on her own was scary.
She knew she’d relied on Dave for a lot, but she hadn’t realized just how much until he was gone. And so was her sense of place in the world. Her safety net.
Her door opened without a knock. Doc walked in, dressed in just a pair of low-slung sweats.
Holy hell.
That was a sight. He didn’t head towards her, but he moved to the other side of the bed.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting into bed.”
“Oh.”
Wait a minute.
She sat up. “You can’t sleep in here!”
“Why not?” He climbed into bed.
“Because this is my bed. I’m in it,” she added inanely.
Like he can’t see that, Caley.
“I know, that’s why I’m sleeping in here. Can’t say as I’ve ever slept in sheets with dogs on them before. Do you need the lamp on to sleep?”
“Umm, yes. But…but you can’t sleep in here with me!”
“Caley, come here.” He lay on his back, looking up at her. What did he mean, come here?
“I am here.”
“No, I mean lie down next to me. You can still sleep with the body pillow, but just let me hold you for a moment.”
She shook her head. She couldn’t do that, could she? That sounded far too intimate.
You just agreed to let him take over.
Yes, but she hadn’t thought he would actually want to sleep with her. She’d only slept with one man.
“Girl, ain’t nothing happening here but some cuddling and some sleep. You can’t handle that much then I’ll sleep on the floor. I won’t lie, I’m getting on in years so that’s gonna be a bit hard on my body. But I’m not leaving you tonight. You need someone here. Someone to make sure you don’t get scared during the storm or stay awake all night. Because you desperately need sleep, don’t you?”
For some reason, tears welled. Because he actually seemed to truly care about whether she slept or not? Because he was willing to sleep on the damn floor just to ensure that she was all right?
Maybe all of the above?
“I don’t sleep much anymore.”
“I’ve noticed,” he said dryly.
She
smiled. “I often wake up and can’t get back to sleep. What if I wake you?”
“If you wake up then I want you to wake me,” he said firmly.
She wouldn’t be doing that. No need for both of them to be awake.
She rubbed her head.
“Girl, what did you agree to just fifteen minutes ago?”
What had she agreed to? Lunacy, that’s what she’d agreed to.
“To letting you take control.”
“That’s right. And what are you doing right now?”
“Trying to control the situation.”
“Called topping from the bottom.”
“I didn’t realize we were doing a scene.”
“We’re not, baby doll. I don’t really scene. I’m this way all the time.”
“You mean you’re wanting a 24/7 sub? A slave?”
“Not a slave, no. I don’t require that level of obedience. But I do need to have the ultimate say. If I had a sub, she’d also be my Little. When she was Little, I’d pick her clothes, I’d get her dressed, I’d decide what we did that day. But I’d always put her first. Her needs, her safety. She would be my responsibility and I take that seriously.”
“But she wouldn’t always be Little?”
“No, but even when she wasn’t, I’d still be the boss. She’d have more freedom to wear what she wanted. To do what she wanted. But if she left the house, I’d want to know where she was going, how she was getting there, when she’d be coming back. If she was going to be later than expected, I’d need a call to tell me that. I’d require her to be careful with her safety even when I wasn’t around to watch over her. There would be no speeding, no texting while driving. No walking around at night alone. And if I couldn’t trust her to take care of herself then I’d need to be with her.”
Wow.
It was more than what Dave had required of her.
And yet, didn’t you always wish for more? Want him to take things a step further?
“What if she disobeyed you? What if she stayed out late and didn’t call you?”
“First, it would be completely disrespectful, since I would be worrying. I would never do that to her. Second, it would put her at risk since I wouldn’t know where she was and if something went wrong, I couldn’t be there to help her. So she’d earn herself a harsh punishment.”
“Like what?” she whispered.
“Likely the belt or a paddle.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow in amusement. “You ever been spanked with a paddle or belt?”
“No, Dave only ever used his hand on me. He didn’t spank me very often. I was a good girl.”
“I’m sure you were. But I also think you have a tendency to overlook self-care. That would end up in you going over my knee. What about when you were Little? Did he spank you when you misbehaved?”
“Sometimes. Mostly I got time-out.”
“Hmm, I usually use time-out before a spanking. To help get a Little into the right frame of mind. Now, you have a choice, girl. You can either say your safeword or you can do what I asked and lie down.”
“Asked?”
“All right, commanded.”
She took a deep breath and thought about it for a moment. She had agreed to let him take control. In fact, she’d wanted it. She desperately needed sleep. Her head ached. Her heart hurt. She just wanted some blessed oblivion for a while.
Not being in charge will give you that. If you’re not in control, you don’t have to worry or stress.
Before she talked herself out of it, she lay down. He immediately pulled her against him, resting her face on his chest.
“Comfy?” he asked, wrapping a big arm around her.
Comfy? Hell, no, she wasn’t comfy. She was pressed up against one of the hottest men she’d ever seen in her life. His skin was warm and smooth beneath her cheek. She could hear his heart beating. He had a light smattering of chest hair. It was sexy as hell.
“Easy, girl,” he said in that rough voice of his. “Ain’t nothing going to happen. I’m just going to hold you. All I’m doing tonight is taking care of you. I ain’t gonna touch you, no matter how much you beg me. So don’t go doing that, cause it’s just sad.”
She snorted out a laugh. Okay, the last thing she’d expected to be doing tonight, was lying curled up against Isaac Miller, with a smile on her lips.
He was so fucking crazy.
“I just want you to sleep, girl. Just empty your mind and sleep. Ain’t nothing or no one that can hurt you while you’re in my arms. So you just listen to the wind, to the rain and know that you’re safe from it all. Safe in my arms.”
She took in a shuddering breath, then let it out slowly.
He ran his hand slowly up and down her back. “Deep breath in. Slowly out. Here, put your feet between my legs. Jesus, they’re freezing. The rest of you warm enough?”
Her eyes were drifting shut. Warm? She didn’t think she’d been so warm. Normally, she had to layer up for bed. Just her pajamas weren’t enough. She needed a sweater and socks, sometimes Dave’s robe.
No, don’t think about Dave right now. If she did, she might not be able to sleep.
And she desperately wanted to sleep.
In his arms.
* * *
She woke up cozy and warm. With a yawn, she stretched, groaning at the pull in her back. She might need to look at a new chair. She was falling apart.
Her arm slammed against something solid. Something that was definitely not Bumbly. It was then she realized that she wasn’t pressed up against her body pillow.
But rather an actual body.
She threw herself back with a gasp and slid right off the edge of the bed, landing on her ass.
Ouch.
“Oh, shit, baby doll.” A sleepy-eyed, hair-tousled, bearded face looked over the edge of the mattress down at her. “What happened? Are you all right? Are you hurt?”
Just her ass. And her pride.
She closed her eyes, lying on her back. She was an idiot. Total dork.
Had she seriously just fallen out of bed?
Her eyes flew open as she was picked up in the air and placed down on the bed. She gaped up at a concerned-looking Doc as he started running his hands over her body.
“Where does it hurt? Your bottom? Your back?”
Oh God.
She had to face facts. She wasn’t that good at looking after herself. She definitely wasn’t good at taking care of her stuff. Or keeping on top of anything except work, which she’d thrown herself into in order to try to stop thinking about Dave.
But this…oh, she’d missed this. Even if he was over-the-top protective, Doc actually cared.
It wasn’t something she’d ever thought she would have again.
“I’m fine,” she told him, trying to sit up.
He held her down. “Stay there until I check your bottom. Let’s roll you over.”
And then she was lying on her front as he raised the back of her pajama top. He lightly pressed down on her back. She let out a groan.
He stopped. “Sore?”
“Not from the fall. It was already sore.”
“It was? Why didn’t you tell me?”
She rolled slightly over to look up at him. “I sit at a desk for long hours. It’s bound to get sore. And my hands and shoulders. Just part of the job.”
He frowned. “You need to take more breaks. Stretch. You need an ergonomic desk and chair. And you should tell your Dom when you’re hurting so he can help you.”
She sucked in a breath. “My Dom?”
He gave a nod without a hint of hesitation. “Your Dom. I’d be your Daddy too, but I don’t think you’re ready for that yet.”
“Ahh, no. I’m not entirely sure I’m ready for anything yet.”
“You let me take control last night. You trusted me enough for that. To sleep in your bed. Are you attracted to me?”
She nearly snorted. “Ahh, yeah, there’s no issues on that front.”
> He grinned. Actually grinned. Had she seen him smile yet? Sometimes his eyes twinkled. Briefly. But actually smile? No.
And it was a thing of beauty. Her heart raced. Her clit actually throbbed. Without being touched.
Good Lord, a woman could live and breathe for a smile like that. Sacrifice everything to see that every day.
So why are you hesitating? Give that man everything he wants.
Because she’d given a man all of herself once. And when he was taken from her. . .she’d fallen into a dark place. She knew she couldn’t go back to that place. Wasn’t sure she’d find a way out again. Even though she knew logically that just because Dave died didn’t mean that anything would happen to Doc, it still made her hesitate. Made her wonder if she was strong enough.
“Good to know,” he crooned. “Because I think you’re gorgeous, girl. Smart, caring, a little odd at times—”
“Hey,” she protested. But she did it with a grin. Because let’s face it, she could be totally odd sometimes.
He rubbed her lower back. “I know it was hard on you, losing Dave. I’m not a replacement for him. I wouldn’t want to be. But I do feel a pull towards you, Caley. And I think you feel the same. So how about you give me a shot? I’ll stay here awhile and we’ll explore things. As much as you feel comfortable with. I don’t need to see your Little yet. I understand how much trust that takes. But I am a dominant guy. I can’t hold that back.”
“Yeah, kind of seen that already.”
“I can help you,” he told her seriously. He rubbed her back as he spoke, and she lay on her front. “I can help you get a bit more balance in your life. You work too much. You don’t eat or rest enough.”
“I need to work,” she warned.
“I get it. I wouldn’t stand in your way. But can you honestly tell me you need to work as much as you do? You might actually get more done in a shorter amount of time if you weren’t running on caffeine, no sleep and zero calories.”
She smiled. “There’s calories in the creamer.”
He snorted when she groaned as he reached her shoulders. “Not good ones. What do you say, girl?”
She sighed. “You’ll leave eventually.”
“Can’t guarantee forever. You might be begging for me to leave. I’ve got it on good authority that I’m not easy to live with.”
Heal Me, Daddy Page 10
