Her face fell. He didn’t want her? But that couldn’t be right. How many times had she felt his erection press up against her in bed?
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s not that I don’t want you. It’s because, damn can’t believe I’m about to say this. But I think that the first time I take you, Archer should be there as well.”
He realized what he’d said at the same time as her mouth dropped open.
“Why would your brother be here while we have sex?”
He cleared his throat. It took a lot to embarrass him, but he could feel his cheeks redden.
“Ahh, well, that could be because I think we should share you.”
Her mouth closed then opened then closed again.
You’re making a real mess of this, man.
“If that’s what you want,” he said hastily, wincing as he realized how what he said could be misconstrued. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Caley, I’m going to ask you something and I want you to answer me honestly. Can you do that?”
Her eyes wide, she nodded.
“Do you love my brother?”
“Of course, I do. Archer means a lot to me but that doesn’t mean—”
“No, I mean do you love my brother? Do you find him sexually attractive? Say you met him under different circumstances, and I wasn’t around, would you be in a relationship with Archer?”
“I don’t understand. This is all hypothetical. You are here. Archer isn’t.”
“Just answer, baby. Please.”
“I…I…” Tears filled her eyes.
“Fuck, I’m making a mess of this. Listen to me, okay. You and I, we are solid. I am going nowhere. No matter what. Hell, probably not even if you wanted me to leave. Understand?”
“Yes.”
Just say it. “Baby doll, Archer loves you. He wants you.”
She shook her head, tears dripping down her cheeks. “I’m with you. I love you.”
“I know you do, baby doll. I love you too. But what if you could have both of us? Me and Archer? A permanent ménage. A relationship with us both. I know it seems like I’ve come up with this out of the blue, but I’ve been thinking of it for a while. Ever since…since the hospital when he told me he loves you and wants to share you. If you don’t want it then nobody will force you. But I think that you might love Archer too. Do you?”
She gaped up at him.
He’d lost his mind. What was he even thinking? A permanent ménage? Was this a trick? To see if he could trust her? If she said the wrong answer would he send her away?
Her breath came in short, sharp pants.
“Caley? Girl? Whoa, calm down.”
She felt herself being lifted then set on a soft surface. A fluffy, warm blanket was wrapped around her. A hand pressed lightly against her chest.
“Caley. Everything is all right. You’re safe. Breathe nice and slow. That’s it. Nice and slow.”
Her panic started to subside, and she blinked to clear her vision, confused to find that tears were dripping down her cheeks. She looked around. She was now sitting on the sofa and the ultra-soft blanket that Charlie and Clint had given her as a gift was wrapped around her shoulders and over her lap.
Issy was on his knees in front of her, his eyes filled with worry as he watched her carefully.
“Baby doll, what was that?” he asked carefully. “Why did you panic?”
“I didn’t know how to answer!” she wailed.
He frowned. “Just answer with the truth.”
She sobbed out a breath. “T-the truth? But what if I say the wrong thing?”
His face cleared as understanding filled it. “The wrong thing? There is no wrong answer. No matter what you tell me I’m not going to be mad. If you say you don’t feel anything towards Archer, that’s fine. If you say you have feelings for him, then that’s fine as well.”
“It is?” She looked at him in bewilderment. “But with Evelyn—”
“That was completely different,” he told her. “Evelyn isn’t you. Evelyn used me to get to Archer. I know that’s not the case with you. If I said I didn’t want this, that I didn’t want to share with Archer, what would you say?”
“I’d never do anything to hurt you, Issy.”
“I know, baby. I think I always knew he had feelings for you. I guess I needed time to work it through. I’ve also spoken to some other people in ménage relationships.”
“You’ve spoken to people about this?” She wasn’t sure if she was dreaming right now.
“I wasn’t trying to go behind your back. I just needed to get my head on right before talking to you about this. And I needed to know how it could work, if it could work because the stakes are high. You and Archer are so fucking important to me. I didn’t want to fuck this up. Well, more than I have.”
“What do you mean?”
“When he told me in the hospital how he felt about you. That he wanted to share you, I got angry. I told him to leave and not contact me for a while. But after I had time to think, well, back in the cabin, when it was the three of us, it felt right. He was there to balance things out. He’d be there when I couldn’t be. But he’s not just a back-up plan. He’s the steady influence. He’s the one who would kick our butts if we got too far into our own heads.”
“He’d make us talk,” she said quietly.
“He’d also fucking take your side in far too many things,” he grumbled.
“I don’t know, I think he’d side with you plenty.”
He grinned. “All his life, he’s done the right thing. Including walking away from you. But it doesn’t feel like the right thing to me. Does it to you?”
“No,” she whispered.
“I know it won’t be all smooth sailing. But we’ll figure out some ground rules. You need him. I need him. You call for him in your sleep, you know.”
“Oh God.” She did?
“You call for me too. You need both of us and truth is, it might take both of us to look after you.”
She huffed out a breath at that. “I’m scared.”
“What scares you most?”
“Losing you.”
He placed his hands on her hips. “Not happening. Understand me? Never happening. I’m on you like glue. You couldn’t pry me off you with a crowbar.”
“Well, I’m probably going to need some space now and then,” she joked.
“Why?” he said seriously.
She rolled her eyes. “We both have jobs.”
“Yep. Good thing is, my job doesn’t take me away from the ranch that much. But when it does, if we go ahead with this, Archer would be here to take care of you.”
Her gaze narrowed. “You’re not suggesting this just so I always have someone watching me, are you?”
“Of course not,” he told her. “It’s just an added bonus.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “But he lives in Dallas, he has a life there. A career. Would he want to move here?”
“Kent offered him a job. I’m sure he’d take him up on it. And if I’m willing to share and you’re going to submit to two bossy dominants, I think he could give up his pretentious penthouse and boring career.”
“Issy!”
“Baby, he’s the one that suggested this. He wants it. I mean, if you’d prefer someone else…”
“Issy!” She whacked his shoulder.
His eyebrows rose. “Did you just hit your Daddy? With an injured hand?”
“No.”
He tilted his head to one side. “I think that should be a new rule. No hitting either your Daddy or your Dom. Especially when you’re injured.”
“Is that what he would be? My Dom?” How would that work? He wasn’t a Daddy Dom. Would he be comfortable with that side of her? Would she only be Little when she was with Issy? She didn’t like the sound of that. It seemed like she would have to hide who she was again.
“You’re still thinking too much. Whatever happens, I’m here and I always will be. Understand?”
Sh
e nodded.
“You want to think about it?”
“No,” she whispered. If she thought too long, she’d chicken out. Take the safe road. Like usual. Would she be happy not knowing whether it could have worked? Time to start living, Caley.
“I’m in. Let’s do this.”
31
“What if he’s not here?” she asked.
The taxi had just dropped them off outside the building where Archer owned the penthouse apartment. She swallowed nervously. She’d never been to Dallas. Never been to Texas. Even though it was night, it was decidedly warmer here. The taxi driver had been friendly, but she hadn’t been able to talk much. Her stomach was in knots.
What if Issy was wrong? What if he’d changed his mind?
What if wanted them to move here with him? She couldn’t live in the city. She loved Sanctuary. She’d only been there a week, but she felt so at home in Issy’s cabin. And everyone there was so nice. It had taken her a while to adjust to people coming around a lot, Issy had grumbled that his house had turned into Grand Central Station, but he never turned anyone away, especially if it was one of the other Littles.
She never thought she’d find a place where she could be herself. Where she wouldn’t be judged for being different.
Sanctuary was that place.
But there was a piece missing. Archer. But what if he didn’t want to move?
She still couldn’t believe he’d bought her a laptop. Well, actually, she could. These guys were constantly spoiling her. But dictation software had already been loaded on the laptop, and he’d also included some headphones with a mic. All top of the range.
But it had been his note that had made her tear up.
“Baby doll? Caley?”
She turned to look at Issy.
“There you are. You’re worrying too much. Everything is going to be fine.”
He was always so confident. So certain. She wished she could be more like that. She always seemed to be waiting for the worst to happen.
Issy pressed on the button for the penthouse. No answer. She shifted around. They should have called him. What if he was away? What if he wasn’t happy to see them?
“What should we do?”
Issy brought out his wallet and she watched with amazement as he drew out a card which he held to the reader pad next to the door.
The door opened and he picked up both of their bags. She’d learned her lesson about not picking up her own bags at the airport. He’d given her a sharp slap on the ass, right there in public, as she’d reached for her bag. She’d gone bright red, but after a glance around the only people who seemed to have noticed were an older couple. The woman had given her a knowing wink.
She wondered if there were more people around who were into this sort of stuff than she’d realized. She’d always thought she was weird and odd. But maybe not.
He led them through a very nice foyer with shiny tile floors and high ceilings. There were two elevators and Issy pressed a button, the doors to the one on the right opened immediately. He stepped in, swiped the card and pressed a button for the penthouse.
“This card only allows access to the penthouse floor,” he told her. “Archer gave it to me years ago.”
The elevator doors opened after a smooth trip and she followed Issy into a small foyer with just one door leading off it. He swiped the card again. Then entered a number into a pin pad.
“He never changes his alarm code. He needs to be more careful. Especially now that we have you to take care of.”
Except Archer didn’t know that. Maybe he didn’t want that.
Urgh. She wished she could stop worrying.
The lights turned on automatically and her mouth dropped open as she walked through the door and into a huge open-plan living area. The furniture was all dark. Everything looked clean and shiny. The kitchen white with marble countertops. A huge T.V. was mounted in front of a sectional.
But none of that was what caught her attention. No, she was drawn to the huge floor-to-ceiling windows looking out at the lights of the city below.
“Wow. This is amazing.”
Issy grunted. “I prefer mountains, trees and the stars. But it’s okay.”
It was more than okay. Although she understood what Issy was saying. She forced herself to turn and take in the rest of the penthouse. It was swank and sophisticated. Very Archer.
Very much not her.
“Probably hired someone to decorate the place. It’s pretty bland and boring but at least it’s tidy.”
She nearly rolled her eyes at this statement.
Issy walked to the fridge and opened the door. “Urgh, craft beer. I guess it will do.” He drew one out as well as a bottle of orange juice, which he poured into a glass for her.
“Here, baby doll. You haven’t drunk much today.” He set the glass down on the counter then opened his beer.
She felt weird making herself at home without Archer here. “What if he doesn’t want us here? Should we be in here?”
“He’s not gonna call the cops on us.” He tapped his fingers against the kitchen bench. “I’m gonna put our stuff in the spare room. Drink your juice.”
Bossy.
But she drank the juice. And she did feel a bit better. She guessed she had been getting low in blood sugar.
Issy returned with a frown, his phone pressed to his ear. “He’s not answering his phone.”
“Do you think he’s all right? Why would his phone be off?”
“I can think of one reason. I can find out for sure if he’s there. But question is, if he is there do you want to go to him?”
“Go where?”
“To the Twisted Thorn, the BDSM club he belongs to.”
“A BDSM club?” she repeated. Nerves fluttered in her stomach.
“You don’t have to go. But he would have put his phone on silent and left it in his locker if he’s there.”
What was he doing at this club? Would he be…
“Is he playing with other subs?” Her voice was louder than she’d intended.
Issy looked surprised then he smirked. “Ooh, jealous, baby?”
“No.” She blushed. Yes. She watched him closely to judge his reaction. But he didn’t seem perturbed by her possible jealousy.
“I very much doubt it.”
“Find out,” she said.
Issy grinned. “All right. Let me make a call.” He grabbed his phone.
Shit. What was she doing? She knew nothing about going to a club. What did she wear? Would she have to participate?
But under the panic was a tendril of excitement. Think of all the research she could do.
“Is Gray there?” She heard Issy ask into the phone. Then he swore. “Shit. Is he? All right, is Hunter there? Yeah, I want to speak to him. Put him on. When isn’t he in a bad mood?”
She turned, pulled out of her musings at the note of impatience in Issy’s voice. “Yeah, Hunter? It’s Isaac Miller. Yeah, I’m in Dallas. I didn’t run away with my tail between my legs,” Issy growled.
She raised her eyebrows at his angry tone.
“Listen, Hunter. I need a favor.” He pinched the top of his nose. “Is Archer at the club tonight? Right. Yes. I know you’re not his PA. Christ. We’re here to surprise him. Yes, we.” He looked over at her and rolled his eyes. “We need access to the Twisted Thorn for the night. Two of us. She’s my sub. Her name is Caley. I don’t think it’s any of your business. Will you give us access? She won’t be playing with anyone but me. Fine, we’ll sign an agreement at the front desk. Yes, she has a safeword, I’m not a fucking tourist. Shit. All right. Yeah, I owe you one.”
Issy ended the call with a sigh.
“Who was that?”
“Hunter Black, one of the owners of the Twisted Thorn, I was hoping to speak to Gray, one of the other owners. He’s far more reasonable. Hunter is going to leave passes for us at the front desk. We just have to sign some documents about liability and an NDA as well as fill in some info on your
limits and health. Paperwork alone will probably take a damn hour. He’s such an ass and now I owe him a favor. God knows what he’ll want.”
This Hunter didn’t sound like someone to mess with.
Issy turned his gaze on her. “Let’s see if we have something to dress you in.”
* * *
Issy hadn’t been wrong, the paperwork had taken a while to work through, but he’d helped her. Just as well since her nerves meant she could hardly operate a pen.
Caley felt decidedly underdressed as they entered the club. Or maybe that should be overdressed since most of the people in the club seemed to be wearing next to nothing at all. They walked through the bar area first and it hadn’t seemed all that different from ordinary bars.
Once they entered the dungeon, it was another story. There was a bar in here as well. And a few Doms and Dommes stood around it. Most dressed in tight black fetish wear. Issy was dressed in a black shirt and jeans. Many of the men here didn’t bother with shirts.
But it was the submissves that made her feel out of place. One submissive walked by, being led by a leash. She wore what seemed to be a simple, tight black dress but there were cut-outs for her breasts to fit through and her nipples were clamped with a chain going from one to the other.
She gulped.
Issy had dressed her in what was actually a nightie. It was a pretty nightie. Made of satin, it had lace at the bottom and along the top. She’d objected when he’d pulled it from her luggage, but he’d insisted. And she hadn’t been allowed a bra or panties. The nightie stopped at mid-thigh, so she was going to have to be careful not to bend over.
At least he’d let her wear a long jacket on the ride over in the taxi.
The nightie was white, and her nipples were pressed against the material. She tried to cross her arms over her chest, but Issy gave her a sharp look.
Right. No trying to hide herself.
He’d given her a crash course in the rules. No looking at a Dom or Domme in the eyes. No speaking unless spoken to. And always do what he said.
God. She hoped they found Archer soon. She was terrified. If she had boots on, she’d be shaking in them. But apparently, she wasn’t allowed shoes. They’d been left out with her coat.
Heal Me, Daddy Page 27
