For another, I was still confused about Carolyn Arnold’s scam and what I should do about it. Also, I was starting to think about the BSC record book, whether the other girls were keeping it up properly. I was sort of insulted they hadn’t come crying to me about how difficult it was to fill my shoes.
Carlos was not on the top of my worry list.
I sat in my usual spot at the opposite end of the cafeteria from the BSC table. I could see Claudia and Stacey laughing hysterically about something as Dawn sat down next to them.
They looked so happy. And I felt as if I were exiled in Siberia.
Well, it didn’t matter. As soon as Logan arrived, I’d feel less lonely. I looked toward the lunch line and then the door, but he wasn’t either place. I wondered if he had a math test in the afternoon. When he does, sometimes he takes a study hall at lunch.
I dug into my Chicken Kiev. (Do you ever wonder how they come up with these names? I guess if they called it “Unidentified Leftover Gristle with Lumpy Brown Sauce,” no one would go near it.) As usual, it tasted like burned flour over rubber bands. But I managed to eat most of it and get the taste out of my mouth with some salad.
I kept glancing around for Logan. By the time I finished eating, he hadn’t showed up. Bored out of my mind, I stood up to return my tray. I figured I’d spend the rest of the lunch period in the library. At least it would be peaceful, and away from the BSC members. And maybe Logan was there, cramming. It would be nice to see him, even if he was busy.
I looked up to find Susan Taylor walking toward me. “Mary Anne? What are you doing here all alone? You want to come sit at our table?”
I thought about it for a moment. She was nice to ask, but I saw Sabrina at the table and I didn’t want to talk about silly rumors. “Thanks,” I said, “but I’m going to the library and I’m sort of late.”
“Late for the library?”
“I’m … meeting someone there.” (Well, I might have been. It wasn’t a total lie.)
“Okay, maybe tomorrow. ‘Bye.”
“ ’Bye.”
I returned my tray, took one last look around for Logan, and left.
I went upstairs to the library, which was pretty crowded. A group of kids was huddled over some encyclopedias at one table. Two boys were leafing through the humongous dictionary on the pedestal, pointing out words and giggling (on Dirty-Word Patrol, Kristy used to say). I found two empty chairs together at a table near the window.
Before doing any work, I took a stroll through the stacks of books. I started at the sports books and worked my way around the room.
Logan was nowhere to be seen.
I wasn’t too upset. He was probably having a conference with a teacher, or he might have gotten roped into a game of touch football with some friends. Still, it would have been nice to see him.
With a sigh, I sat down to begin some homework. I set my bookbag on the seat next to me, so no one would sit there. Just in case.
* * *
Logan didn’t show up in the library. In fact, I didn’t see him the rest of the day. I wondered if he had even come to school. Maybe he was sick, poor thing.
After last period, on the way to my locker, I passed by the boys’ gym. The doors were open and I could hear the frantic squeaking of sneakers on the polished floor. “Foul!” shouted a familiar voice.
I peeked inside to see Logan playing basketball with a bunch of guys. Trevor Sandbourne was one of them, and he saw me out of the corner of his eye. He gave me a very small wave, then snapped his attention back to the game. Logan was standing under the basket, facing away from me. He held the basketball over his head, waiting to pass it as the other boys ran around like crazy.
I didn’t want to interrupt him or embarrass him, so I ducked back into the hallway. At least I knew he wasn’t sick at home.
But why hadn’t he looked for me all day? Hmmmm.
I put it out of my mind. I’d call him before dinner. After all, I’d have plenty of time, since I wasn’t going to the BSC meeting.
I was feeling tired and confused. All I wanted to do was go home and curl up on my bed.
So I did. Tigger purred and tucked himself into me. I petted him, but I felt distracted. I tried not to think about the meeting. Obviously the other girls were doing fine without me. I tried not to think about Logan. As for Carolyn, well, I figured I might as well enjoy my last few days before being thrown in jail for aiding and abetting an extortion scheme. My life was a mess.
At least I had a nice haircut.
I read for awhile in bed, then ended up taking a little nap. I dreamed I was trapped in a castle tower by an evil king and queen (who were Kristy and Dawn). As I looked out the tower window, I saw Logan below. He was tossing a basketball into a hoop on the castle wall. “Can you save me?” I called down.
“Sure,” he said casually. “Let down your hair.”
Oops.
I awoke to the ringing of the phone. I sat up and looked at my clock. It was eleven after six.
“Mary Anne?” called Sharon’s voice from downstairs. “It’s Logan!”
Yay! I ran out of my room and into my parents’ room. Grabbing the phone, I said, “Hulluhhh …”
My throat was thick from the nap. I quickly cleared it and giggled. “I mean, hello!”
Logan didn’t laugh. “Hi,” he said softly.
“I didn’t see you today,” I said.
“Trevor said you looked in at our game.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You guys were playing hard …”
“Yeah. Good game.”
His voice drifted off. I knew something was wrong, but I was afraid to ask what. The last thing I needed was a fight with Logan. But why was he mad? What could this possibly be about?
“Um, Mary Anne?” Logan finally said. “I called because I wanted to ask you something. I mean, you know, we had this date for the January Jamboree, and we hadn’t really talked much about it …”
Oh, no. He was going to go to the dance with someone else. I swallowed a lump in my throat.
“So,” he continued, “I, uh, just wanted to, um, confirm … are we still going?”
Huh?
“I — don’t know,” I said. “Are we still going?”
“Well, I need to know, Mary Anne. Because if you don’t want to go with me —”
“Don’t want to go with you?” I thought I was hearing things — or maybe still dreaming. “What do you mean? Do you want to go with me?”
There was a silence on the other end. I heard Logan take a deep breath. “Look, Mary Anne, I don’t know how to say this, but … well, I know all about your other … your other …”
I sank down on my parents’ bed in shock. “Carlos,” I murmured under my breath.
“Yeah,” Logan said. “I know about Carlos. And the Winter Dance. And —”
“But Logan,” I interrupted, “he’s not —”
“You don’t need to explain, Mary Anne. Really. We’re not … married or anything. You have every right. I mean, I admit I’m … surprised. I wish you had mentioned something to me. I would have felt better if I had known up front, but, well, I know you have trouble with confrontations. I just think you should let me know now about the Jamboree, so —”
“Oh, boy,” I said, shaking my head. “Do we need to talk.”
“Yeah, I think we do.”
Poor Logan sounded as if he were trying as hard as he could to keep from sounding hurt — or furious.
I drew in a deep breath. “Logan, what you were hearing was just a stupid rumor. Some girls got it in their heads that this guy, Carlos, was interested in me. They made up a story about how he asked me to the dance and I said yes. The truth is, I don’t even know what he looks like.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Then … then why would they say a thing like that if it weren’t true?”
“I don’t know! That’s what I’
ve been wondering!”
“And why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to! I just thought it might make you upset. Besides, it seemed so silly, and talking about it would have made it more important than it was. I don’t know. I figured if I just avoided it, it would blow over.”
“Right …” I could imagine Logan nodding, his brow crinkled. “I guess you’ve been avoiding a lot of things lately.”
“Yeah,” I said. “And none of them has blown over.” I started to cry. Logan was right. For the last few weeks, I’d been keeping so much inside. I felt like a big dam, swollen with water and about to burst.
“Mary Anne,” Logan said. “I believe you. I just want you to know that.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“And don’t worry about the rumor. If you want to keep quiet about it, that’s okay. I mean, everyone will see it’s wrong eventually, right?”
“No,” I said, sniffling back some tears. “No. I’m tired of keeping quiet, Logan. I’m going to sit down with Sabrina and her friends tomorrow and set them straight.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Hey, I can take it,” Logan said. “Now I don’t have to go hang out at the high school playground tomorrow.”
“Huh?”
“You know, to check out Carlos, see what makes him so special.”
“Well,” I said, “if you do decide to go, tell him I turn down his offer.”
“Aha! I knew it!”
“Go eat your dinner,” I said, laughing.
“Okay. ’Bye, Mary Anne,” Logan replied. “See you tomorrow.”
“ ’Bye!”
I hung up the phone, feeling great. I was glad we had talked about our problem before it got out of hand.
When I turned around, Dawn was standing in the doorway.
“Talking to Logan again?” she said. “Or was that Carlos?” With a look of scorn, she turned around and left.
Okay, I thought to myself. This has gone far enough.
“Dawn?” I called out.
No answer.
“Dawn?”
I could hear her footsteps on the stairs. I ran to the top of the stairwell. “Dawn, did you hear me?”
Dawn was practically at the bottom before she turned around. This look of make-believe shock was on her face. “Are you calling me?”
“I don’t know any other Dawn in the house.”
Whoa. I couldn’t believe I said that.
I don’t think Dawn believed it, either. She did a double take.
I tried to smile. The idea was to have a discussion, not an argument. “Can we talk?” I asked.
“What a surprise,” Dawn said. “I didn’t think you were talking to me.”
“I didn’t think you were talking to me!”
Dawn gave me a withering look. “I’m not the one who skips meetings, and talks to her boyfriend every minute of the day.”
“Well, I’m not the one who gets jealous because of a haircut and some clothes —”
“Jealous? Me, jealous of you? Dream on, Mary Anne!”
Dawn stomped down to the bottom of the stairs.
“Wait!” I said.
Dawn turned around. “I don’t have time to listen to you. I didn’t have the whole evening to lounge around the house and admire my boy haircut and clown makeup!”
“Oh, go choke on an alfalfa sprout.”
Dawn stormed out of sight. I ran into my room and slammed the door. I was furious! Boy haircut? Clown makeup? How dare she? That was what I got for trying to talk things out with … a witch! I should never have even bothered.
I plopped on my bed and buried my face in the pillow. I was never going to talk to Dawn again. I wished I’d never met her. I wished my dad and her mom had hated each other in high school, so they hadn’t gotten married. I wished …
In the middle of my third wish, my mind turned to soup. I started to cry like a baby. I cried so hard, my sobs came in big hiccups. But I kept my face in the pillow. I was not going to let Dawn hear that I was upset.
Well, you know how it is with a big cry. Sometimes it just puts things in perspective. When I sat up, my pillowcase was soggy but my head was clearer.
And all I could think was, Mary Anne, you really blew it.
Dawn had been mean, and her comments still stung. But I hadn’t exactly been full of compassion myself.
I took a deep breath and decided to try again. Dabbing my face with a tissue, I opened my door and went downstairs.
Dawn was in the kitchen, sulking over a pot of boiling tofu. Outside I could hear Dad pulling into the driveway and Sharon greeting him. Dawn didn’t look up when I came in.
“Hi,” I said.
Dawn grunted.
“Smells good,” I said. Okay, I lied.
“Mm-hm,” Dawn said.
“Um, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Right.” I’m sorry, too, Mary Anne was what I was sort of hoping to hear. But I guess I had to take what I could get.
“Um, I really do want to talk,” I said. “Nicely, if possible. No throwing tofu allowed.”
I saw a teeny smile on Dawn’s lips. That was a good sign. “Should we have a referee?” she asked.
This time we both smiled. Then we quickly looked at the floor.
A car door slammed outside. “Let’s go upstairs,” I suggested.
“Okay.”
When we reached my room, I sat on the bed and Dawn sat on the desk chair. I looked at the pattern on the bedspread. Dawn looked at the interesting weave of the rug.
I hated the silence. “Um, anyway,” I finally said, “I’m sorry …”
“You said that already.”
“Well, you said some pretty mean things, too,” I pointed out, trying not to sound too harsh.
“Mean? Look who’s talking about mean!”
“I didn’t do anything to hurt you!”
Dawn’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. “No? Maybe you forgot about that trip to the mall two weeks ago.”
“All I did was get a haircut and buy some nice stuff. What was the big deal?”
“Mary Anne, we’re sisters, remember? We always used to talk to each other about everything. All our problems, all the big changes we were going through…. You didn’t even tell me you were going to get your hair cut.”
“Daawwwn —”
“It’s not as stupid as it sounds, Mary Anne. What if I was thinking about dyeing my hair, or eating a steak dinner — something I’d never done before? Wouldn’t you feel left out if I didn’t ask your advice or tell you about it or include you in any way? I mean, you went from L.L.Bean to cover girl overnight! I’d have loved picking out clothes with you — even just being excited with you. Instead, you went shopping with your dad.”
“Well, the trip was his suggestion,” I protested. “You know, a father-daughter thing. I couldn’t help that.”
Dawn sighed. “I know. I guess that was part of it, too. You two looked so happy and close that day, and I felt left out. It was like he and you were doing something behind my back. And the feeling got worse when you started spending so much time with Logan. All the girls felt that, not just me.”
“Okay,” I said. “I can see how you might have felt about the makeover and the mall trip, Dawn. But I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I just wanted to surprise you. I thought you’d be happy. I thought everyone would. I mean, you and Kristy and Claudia and Stacey — you’re always telling me to stand up for myself and be independent. Then, when I finally do something independent, you treat me like a traitor. And I was spending all that time with Logan because he was the only person who was nice to me.”
“But then you went behind his back with that other guy —”
“Carlos!” I laughed. “Wow, if I ever meet this guy, I’m going to tell him what a mess he’s made of my life!”
“What?”
I shook my head. “It’s just a dumb rumor. I wouldn’t know C
arlos if I passed him on the street.”
“You mean, Sabrina …?”
“Well, somebody started it.”
“Wow. I guess we were all assuming a lot of things.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “A lot.”
We both caught our breath. There was so much to think about.
“I’m sorry, Mary Anne,” Dawn said softly. “I think it was hard for me to see you change.”
“We all change,” I answered, shrugging. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t like each other. Can’t we be friends even if I have short hair?”
There it was. Dawn’s fabulous smile. “Okay,” she said.
We threw our arms around each other. Dawn burst out laughing.
As for me, what do you think I did?
At least I didn’t douse my pillowcase again.
* * *
Well, Rounds One and Two were over. Logan trusted me again, and Dawn had finally stopped being so nasty.
Round Three took place on Wednesday at five-thirty.
Yes, I went to the Baby-sitters Club meeting that afternoon. (And let me tell you, that record book was a disgrace — but that’s another story.)
When I entered Claudia’s room with Dawn, the room went completely silent, just as I had expected. Only Jessi and Mal (who had been innocent bystanders during this ordeal) smiled at me, and I could tell they felt self-conscious about it.
Well, I won’t bore you with the details of our long, long discussion. It was a lot like the one Dawn and I had had, only with many more voices and the smell of Goobers in the air. (Oh, also a few phone interruptions.)
By the end of it everyone was laughing, except me. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed my friends. I felt so happy to be with them I couldn’t stop from crying again.
And you know what else? All of them — everyone — told me how great my hair looked.
After all that!
When we had settled into our comfortable positions, and I was letting a Goober melt in my mouth, I remembered something important.
“Oh, boy,” I said. “Tomorrow is supposed to be Carolyn’s first flight. All those kids are going to show up. We have to do something.” I told my friends what was going to happen at the Arnolds’ house.
“Those kids are going to be so disappointed,” Stacey said.
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