Theta Waves Box Set: The Complete Trilogy (Books 1-3) (Theta Waves Trilogy)

by Thea Atkinson

  He swore. "I'm going to kill that bitch."

  "That would be lovely," she said. "Except you think you can't, remember?"

  She couldn't help the dig because she still didn't believe Kat enjoyed the benefits of a general and she read the defeat in his body as he let that sink in, and watching it truly brought home just how impotent both of them were. Her stomach began to flutter with nausea and she could feel the rush of adrenaline soaking into her tissues, trying to get her to fight or flee. And she couldn't afford the adrenaline rush right now. She couldn't afford to fight the panic. She scrambled for something, anything, to trick her mind into ordering the chemical plant to shut down.

  He shifted just a bit on her lap, seeming to make his mind up on something.

  "Well, if I can't kill her, I can make her suffer."

  She stroked his brow, tracing the gentle arch. "Would that you could."

  "Oh, I can. Just because we're protected, doesn't mean we don't feel pain."

  The Crusades. How he must have suffered.

  "How did you ever survive getting your skull bashed in?"

  He shrugged, a movement she felt against her belly. "It took time, but things knit back together. They always do."

  "But if you were just lying there, then I'd think--well, I'd think..."

  "What the crows pecked away just grew back. Like I said, it takes a while. But it always does." He sighed. "Sometimes I wish it didn't."

  She gave some thought to what it must be like to have lived so long. She thought of the people he had known, those he'd watched die, those he might have loved.

  "I imagine you've seen plenty."

  "Suffered plenty. Died plenty."

  She told herself she shifted position because her bottom was beginning to burn from lack of circulation. Not because the panic was rising.

  "What's wrong," he asked."

  "I don't want to talk about that."

  "Why not? It's not like I actually –"

  "Because it's gruesome. And I'm tired of gruesome." She knew it was a ridiculous statement for a person who sat in a small cage in one of the more nefarious rooms of Sasha's spitters' den, waiting to see what fresh Hell the Beast's Red General had planned for her. She leaned her head back against the bars, trying to close her eyes and forget where she was. Cain must have realized her despair because his tone grew light and teasing.

  "So you don't want to hear about the time I hung myself."

  "Absolutely not."

  "Even if it has all the makings of the greatest story ever told."

  "There's only one greatest story--"

  "I know. I was there. Who do you think betrayed Him?"

  "Benedict Arnold," she said, flippant. "Everyone knows that."

  His hand went to the top of his head, letting his fingers trail across the large contusion. Theda noticed he grimaced when they made contact. She brushed his hand away and ended up squeezing his fingers. "It's not as bad as it was," she said.

  "I can tell. There's not quite so many black spots in my vision."

  Her gaze fell to the spot where his skull had cracked open, and her heart went into her throat. The wound was closing, but terrifyingly slow. She had hoped his healing would be faster.

  "Tell me about that night."

  He sighed. "It's a terrible thing, betraying someone. Even when they ask for it."

  "You mean--"

  "I mean that was my role for Him. He needed someone He could trust. Who better than the man his Father had marked?"

  "So you hung yourself? From the guilt?" It was fascinating, the thought that she could ask such a thing, to discover the motive behind the Judas everyone believed was a monster. The man lying on her lap certainly had proved he was anything but.

  "It wasn't guilt. It was disgust. I couldn't believe He had asked it of me. It wasn't fair."

  "But you had to know you wouldn't die."

  "Oh, I knew. But I had to protest at least."

  "Of course. A man has his scruples," she said, finding it in her to laugh even if it was a meager one.

  "A man might," he said. "But a beast doesn't and even if Kat didn't go to get him, it's where we'll end up eventually. And I don't imagine it will be pretty."

  "Back to that, then."

  "We have to come back to that."

  She sighed. Of course they did. "What do you think will happen? What do you think she wants with us?"

  He twisted on her lap so that his shoulder was on the floor his palm planted beneath him. With what looked to be a great amount of effort, he pushed himself up enough that he could grab the bars with one solid hand. With that, he yanked himself to a sitting position, facing her. He pinned her with a fierce look that surprised her. When his eyes dropped to her mouth she realized too late what he planned to do.

  His mouth covered hers in a sweet, almost questioning mating. Despite the softness of the kiss, Theda tasted the thrum of his emotion so strongly she could have been drinking it. And all she could think was that he tasted like red wine, tart and heady at the same time.

  He eased just inches away when he released her lips and locked his eyes on hers. "Whatever she wants of us," he said. "She'll have to literally kill me to get to you."

  Chapter 14

  Theda looked into his earnest eyes. Such a beautiful green. Like Ezekiel's. Like Kat's even. But while Kat's eyes were hard and cold, and Ezekiel's eyes reminded her of chunks of sea glass, Cain's had a sadness within that she'd just realized came from living too long. She tried to reach for his arm to steady herself, but the movement was uncomfortable. She settled for just lowering her voice to a hushed whisper.

  "Cain, I..."

  "You love General Eazy," he said, noticing how she was wincing and obviously inferring from it that she was in some way revolted by his kiss. He stiffened noticeably. She didn't want to hurt him, and he was attractive enough, incredibly so, but she had no room left in her heart for anyone else but Ezekiel. The Pale Rider had even taken over every dark space that she had previously tried to fill with godspit.

  "It can't be anyone but Ezekiel. I'd think you would respect that."

  His shoulders held onto the tension as he lifted his chin stubbornly. "I am respecting it."

  Suspicion niggled up her nape as she watched a sense of righteous indignation wrap itself around him. "What do you mean?"

  "I mean he knows how I feel about you."

  She swallowed. "How you feel..."

  "He knows I'll protect you."

  The bars bit into her back as she instinctively squared her shoulders. She'd been alone for months, suffered any number of endless assaults on her person, survived the goddamn Apocalypse even.

  "I don't need protection."

  A lifted brow was his only answer to the words that sounded hollow even to her ears. She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully before she spoke again. Maybe she did need protection. Maybe Ezekiel knew it. But that hadn't stopped him from returning to the heinous master who commanded him. She felt such a wave of emotion shudder through her that she thought her face must have pinched, collapsed, and recovered itself in mere seconds before she managed to get control of it.

  "Then maybe he should have stayed to do the job."

  Cain looked uncomfortable. He was suffering his own war, she suspected. Every emotion that she believed had tried to reveal itself on her face was streaking straight across his.

  "What is it?"

  He shook his head, raising a tentative hand to the back of it and foraging through his hair. "You know, I think it's getting better."

  "Don't change the subject."

  "I'm not. I just thought you'd want to know that I'm feeling better." He looked at his fingers and wiggled them. "It's not even bleeding anymore."

  "Cain."

  He turned away foam her. "I can't tell you. I shouldn't tell you."

  "Tell me what?"

  She had to pull his chin back to face her. "Cain. Tell me what."

  He faced her, but wouldn't meet her gaze. Inste
ad, it trailed along her ribcage as though he wished his fingers were reaching for the small of her back. She slapped him lightly on both cheeks until he met her eye, trying her best to ignore the way his gaze kept dropping to her mouth.

  "Don't look at me that way," he said. "I can't stand it."

  "Cain?" She thumbed his chin and he shook her off like a dog trying to rid itself of water, twisting out of her reach.

  "Fuck," he said, and it was a sound of defeat, she knew, as much as it was a curse. "He didn't abandon you."

  "He did. You were there. You helped him abandon me."

  "Only because he had no choice. Fuck, I can't stand to see the hurt in your face. It's eating me up." He swung back to face her, letting his own pain show. Seeing it nearly took her breath away.

  "What do you mean?"

  "I mean it's not just because he doesn't want to be the Pale Rider more. That's what he told you because he believed you'd let him abandon you if it was true." It was a sullen confession at best, but it gave her hope.

  "Why would he do such a stupid thing?"

  "Because the Beast will never let him go. He'll never let you go. If General Eazy is with you, then he is the most certain path to you. He can't risk that."

  "So he's some sort of prisoner? All along? You both lied to me."

  He hitched himself further to a full sit, unsupported by a grip on the bars.

  "It's the only way he could protect you."

  She spread her arms in the cage. "Some protection."

  Cain hung his head. "He thought he was protecting you. He trusted me to get you out." He groaned low in his throat. "I failed."

  Theda sighed. "You didn't fail. I failed. I could have ran and I didn't."

  He raked a hand through his hair and grimaced when his fingers contacted one of his wounds. He swore again. "I should have shot her anyway. It wouldn't have killed her, but it might have taken her down long enough for you to run."

  "And where would I have run to? The cat was out of the bag by then."

  He gave her a queer look. "Are you serious? The cat was out of the bag?"

  She lifted a shoulder as she realized what she'd said. "Bad pun. I'm sorry."

  He slipped his hand behind her neck and stroked behind her ear with his thumb. "I know you love him, but it doesn't mean I can't help you. Let me find a way to keep you safe. It's not just my duty; I want to. I need to."

  She covered his hand with hers and squeezed his fingers. "You've been keeping me safer than he has, truth be told."

  His eyes lit up at that. She didn't have the heart to tell him that it didn't matter; she couldn't imagine a way out of this predicament. Who was left to rescue them? Once Kat had what she wanted, she'd hand the remnants over to the Beast. It was a pretty frictionless ride to the bone yard after that.

  It wasn't right that she was still here at all. It wasn't fair. She should have ascended with the god too. Her father had. Her mother had. Why not her? Why had she been left here to witness all this revolting mess? And why the Hell couldn't she at least be with the man she loved while she went through it?

  "So that's what Ezekiel meant when he said the war was far from over. It truly isn't over. There's some sort of end game."

  "There was always an end game, Theda. But putting the plan together is like piecing together a puzzle when you're missing a thousand key pieces."

  "What piece are you?"

  "I might ask you the same."

  She tried to chuckle but it came out as a bitter groan. "I'm the god-damned religion-monger who wasn't good enough to ascend."

  He muttered beneath his breath and she poked him to get him to repeat what she'd missed.

  "I was just saying if you had ascended, Henrik would have never known who he was."

  "Fat lot of good it did him." She shuddered at the memory she'd experienced in the tank when she'd gone through Ezekiel's lifetimes, of Henrik hanging limp and bloody at his father's behest. Of Kat's obvious zeal in torturing him. Of Ezekiel's hand in his murder.

  "Well, he thought it was important enough to swear you to secrecy."

  She leaned back against the bars. "A dozen dozen thousand lives," she said.

  He stiffened. "A dozen dozen?" He rolled toward her. "Did he really say that?"

  She nodded.

  "That's one hundred forty-four thousand," he said.

  "I suppose," she said." I never cared much about math."

  "Theda. Think about it."

  She let her mind wander, but nothing came through. She was too uncomfortable, too focused on the possibility of Kat's return.

  "The 144, Theda. That's who he was worried about: the chosen ones. The Wrath comes after they're sealed with the god's mark."

  The words squeezed her heart to a stuttering standstill. If she closed her eyes and saw her father again behind his pulpit, if she sent her memory on a long reel to fish for just the right information, she could almost hear him slamming his fist onto his Bible and shrieking at his congregation to repent. To find their way to salvation before the Wrath of God scorched the earth to cinders.

  "Henrik wanted to be sure they were sealed before the Beast got to them."

  "So more shit," she said.

  "Worse shit."

  "You're not making me feel better," she said.

  He looked apologetic but didn't say he was sorry.

  Just the thought that things could get worse than the mess they were in made the adrenaline spike again. She ended up rolling onto the floor, struggling to find her way to her knees, gritting her teeth against the pain because she needed to stand. She needed to shake the bars. She needed to try to squeeze between them.

  In the moment Cain stood with her, grasping her waist and helping her to her feet, supporting her against the bars, she heard someone coming in the door.

  "Help," she croaked out, shoving her hands between the bars and reaching into the room, hoping whoever had entered would realize she wasn't a willing prisoner. That the person would free them.

  "Help us."

  She should have saved her breath.

  She heard the clomping of high heels before she saw the Red General, and even when she came into view, Theda was still hoping it wasn't her.

  "Are you just calling for help now?" Kat asked. "Stupid mung. Door's open and everything."

  The redhead strode across the floor of the room, carrying what looked to be a thermos. Water? An uncharacteristic kindness for the woman, but a welcome one just the same. Theda's mouth flooded. She hadn't realized how dehydrated the isolation chamber had made her because she'd been too fueled by fear to notice.

  She reached for the thermos without thinking as Kat neared the cage. Kat pulled it away, clutching it to her chest.

  "Oh no, little mung. This isn't for you." She regarded Cain thoughtfully. "Hey there, you old bastard. How long you been awake?"

  Cain had his palm against the bars as he leaned leisurely against them, and he gave her a sullen stare from beneath hooded eyelids. Theda had no doubt Kat felt every bit of his silent animosity because it was strong enough to electrify the air around him.

  "Not talking?" Kat said, nonplussed. "That's okay. It's not you I'm interested in anyway."

  Theda felt her knees go weak. She backed away from the bars as gingerly as she could, gripping her side with her left hand. Of course, the general noticed.

  "Issat fear I smell?" she said and took a step closer, inhaling deeply. "More heady than fresh brewed coffee."

  Theda glanced sideways at Cain, thinking she was certain she heard him growl beneath his breath. He gave no indication that he was even interested in what was going on. Instead, he rested his right hand on the back of his hip as he leaned on the bars, almost casual, like a teenager. But the air: it was taut with tension.

  "What do you want with me?" Theda asked.

  Kat sidled closer, reaching into her front pocket to extract the ring of keys. "Nothing much." She pursed her lips and shrugged as though she had no real agenda, but Theda knew b
etter. She played the only card she had in order to deflect the woman from whatever heinous plans ran through her mind.

  "How do you know the Beast isn't planning to come for me right now?"

  "Pfft," Kat said. "He'll be letting you rot in that tank for three days at least." She stuck the key in the padlock and twisted. "We have plenty of time to get acquainted before then."

  Just as Theda heard the spring click free, Cain leapt forward, Taser in hand, and jammed it into Kat's neck. She'd forgotten he even had the weapon when they'd charged to the boutique in rescue of Ezekiel, and her fingers clenched into her palms as she waited for the woman to go stiff. There was a second, hollow click and then a third as the weapon attempted to discharge its load. Nothing. No jolt. Theda had to reach for the bars behind her to remain standing because the realization that he'd just failed to harm the general turned her muscles to jelly.

  Kat's hands snaked between the bars and gripped Cain by the neck. "Sorry, love. I used up all the juice on the idiot who was here before you."

  Cain dropped the weapon and reached through the bars with both hands to grip the back of Kat's head. He used the thrust of heaving himself forward to help him slam her face into the bars. The metallic thunk freed Theda from her paralysis. She lunged for the door, with the one thought that there had to be plenty of weapons on the wall that she could grab. Cain had the general pinned against the door, but with his neck wrapped so tightly beneath those squeezing fingers, Theda wasn't sure how long he could hold on. She rammed the door again, biting down on her lip as pain blossomed in her ribs. She had to get out. It didn't matter if the pain was making her feel faint. Feeling faint was a far cry better than feeling dead.

  But it was clear that ramming the door was not going to free it. Kat had unlocked it, but she hadn't unhooked the latch and part of her leg was holding it closed. Theda looped her fingers around the bars to scramble for the latch. She had her hands on it when she heard the sound of boots on iron. Kat was kicking through the bars at Cain's shins. The man was still holding on, with Kat's head pressed toward his chest as though he were embracing her. The general had both hands wrapped around his neck; the thermos she had been carrying dropped, abandoned to the floor.