by Lucy Lambert
When I could resist those lips no longer, I closed the distance myself. Just like before, her lips were soft and hot against mine.
Except now there was no one around to mock us, to call our feelings into question.
Our kiss turned insistent, her tongue pushing through into my mouth. Her arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. Our hips touched, and our breasts. My body responded with a tingling heat. My hands gained a mind of their own and began exploring her body.
Her fingers began a similar journey, working their way up the back of my shirt. I pulled back and gasped when she unclasped my bra.
“Don’t you want this?� she said.
Her shoulders heaved, and a flush of desire added some color to her skin.
“Yes,� I said.
Smiling, biting her bottom lip for a moment, she grabbed my hands again. Instead of pulling me close, she threw me on her bed. Then she was on me.
My hands found her bottom, squeezing the firm flesh there even as we kissed again. Her lips made their way down to my neck. My body squirmed beneath hers. I couldn’t believe how much I needed her to touch me, to be with me. I couldn’t believe the heat inside me, and the tingle low in my stomach.
She was even more eager than I was. Her hands shaking, she tore off my shirt and bra, letting my breasts fall free. My nipples were the object of her desire, and she wrapped her lips around one.
“Oh, yes!� I said, my fingers wrapped in her hair, pulling her mouth closer. Her tongue licked around my sensitive flesh even as she sucked me.
Then she nipped me, sending a lance of pleasure and pain through my body.
When I could no longer take it, she switched to the other nipple and gave it a similar treatment.
Except this time, one of her hands traced its way down my bare stomach. Her fingers deftly undid my jeans, pulling the zipper down. It was the sexiest sound I’d heard in a while.
Then those same fingers pushed down beneath my panties and found the heat she’d been stoking there.
“Jenn, oh, Jenn!� I said as her finger slipped into me.
I was tight, but she was gentle. Her fingertip tickled my walls for a few moments, teasing me before sinking deeper.
“Do you like it?� she said, looking into my eyes and pushing my bangs off my face.
“Yes,� I said.
She knew just where to touch me, just how to get me to relax around her. When she pulled her finger out of me, wet and glistening with my juices, I wanted her to put it back right away.
But instead she sucked my juices off her finger, letting her lips trail back along it seductively. Then, crawling off the bed, she stripped off my boots and socks, then pulled down my jeans and panties.
I lay bare on her bed, her eyes eating my naked body up. She didn’t even need to touch me. Just her gaze walking up and down my thighs, climbing my breasts, looking at my neck, was enough to set me trembling.
“You’re so beautiful,� Jenn said, “I wanted you ever since the moment you sat down next to me.�
“Well, tonight I’m yours,� I said, some impatience leaking into my voice. How could she leave me hanging like this?
“I better make it count, then, right?�Jenn said, doing that sexy thing where she let her bottom lip slip out from between her white teeth.
She went down onto her knees beside the bed. Before I could ask what she was doing, she grabbed my thighs and pulled me over so that she knelt between my legs.
The feel of her hot breath on my burning sex was maddening.
“You smell so good,� Jenn said, running her lips and nose along my inner thighs, letting the heat of her breathing tickle me.
“Good…� I said, rubbing at my face. My body writhed on her sheets. There was so much pent up energy and desire within me, looking for some way to get out.
“I wonder how you taste…?� she said.
When she put her mouth on me, my back arched up. I grabbed handfuls of her comforter. But she gave me no rest. No, she was relentless.
The tip of her tongue made its way up and down my sopping slit, pausing at my love button to lap at it.
The light in the room took on different shades. Every time she gave me another stroke of her tongue, balls of color exploded against the back of my eyelids.
It felt like I was about to float off the bed, or that I might actually manage to fold myself in half, my back arched so much. It was almost too good.
And then she put her finger into me again. She found my spot right away, the pad of her index finger rubbing against it insistently.
That, combined with her tongue, pushed me over the edge.
“You can scream if you like. There’s no one around,� Jenn said, taking her mouth from me for a moment. Her cheeks glistened with my wetness.
A second finger entered me, my slick walls stretching out to accommodate it.
All that pent up energy, all that desire, all that frustration, it all contracted into the smallest, tightest little ball low in my stomach.
And then it burst. I ground myself against Jenn’s tongue, my hips bucking. But she held on and kept licking all throughout my climax.
Hot waves of pleasure slammed through my body, every muscle in me alternating between concrete and spaghetti. Some sweat dripped down into my eyes, stinging them, but I didn’t care.
In that moment, I felt cleansed, felt perfectly in the moment.
But then the tide of my climax receded from me, leaving me limp and shaking on Jenn’s bed.
She crawled up beside me, pulling the cover down over me. She panted, and a sheen of sweat covered every patch of bare skin. Her lips kissed my forehead, then trailed down to my mouth. I could taste myself on her.
I realized then how selfish I was being. “Do… Do you want me to…?� I said.
“No. I think that’s enough. For tonight, at least. Let’s just go to sleep,� she said. She got up and turned off the lights, making sure the door was locked. I heard her rustling in the darkness and realized she was taking off her clothes. That excited me, but my sore body cried out in protest.
Jenn crawled under the covers with me, her bare skin pressed against mine as we spooned.
It didn’t take long for her breathing to settle into the rhythm of sleep. But I lay awake for a time, looking at the shadows in her room.
Despite how good she’d just made me feel, I found myself wanting. A face came into my mind, and it took me a moment to remember the name.
Adam. Adam Arnold. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, even as sleep pulled me away from the world.
Chapter 13
“Why don’t you stay over tonight?” Jenn asked.
Her eyes whispered their silent plea to me. I felt this longing to say yes, to just step through her door and be there with her the whole night.
She looked so cute with her plaid skirt. The top two buttons of her blouse were undone, showing an expanse of smooth, cream-colored skin.
But I had that midterm tomorrow. Professor Hackett seemed like a nice enough guy, but the practice quiz he’d handed out was a nightmare. My brain was full of dates, names, and places. If I dreamt of nothing but the Revolution tonight, it wouldn’t surprise me.
“I want to…” I said.
I leaned against the open doorway to her dorm room. She used this desk lamp that cast a soft, warm glow over everything. And it was beginning to get cold out at night.
But my scholarship depended on me maintaining at least a 3.25 GPA. I couldn’t let it slip.
Not even for the warmth of her room, or the warmth of her arms.
“So stay,” she said, her tone pleading.
“I can’t… I have to go study. But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I said, reaching out to grab her hands. Her palms were hot, and her fingers
trembled. My body ached for me to just go back in, but again I found myself sacrificing my immediate desires for the good of my future, whatever that turned out to be when it came into focus.
So we hugged, our hips touching as she held me close. I patted her on the back twice, the universal signal to end an embrace. She withdrew slowly, her fingers trying to get a hold on the light sweater I had on to fight away the chill on the walk back to my dorm.
She closed her door, waving at me until the gap closed up, leaving me alone in the hall. I wiggled my toes in my flats, trying to urge my feet into carrying me forward. It was like a heavy weight hung down from my heart into my stomach. I couldn’t believe I’d managed to deny her.
Maybe this school thing wasn’t so bad after all, I figured. I pulled the cuff of my sweater back, checking my watch. About quarter past ten. Jeeze, I was going to up be until three or four, I knew.
It was times like this that I really found myself missing the big city. Pushing open the door to the stairs, I made my way down. The rail was smooth and cool to the touch, and I lifted my hand periodically to avoid the little brackets that connected it to the white-painted cinderblock wall.
Back in Pasadena, I could go grab a triple-shot espresso from any open convenience store. I had done so many times, in fact, working doubles at the diner.
Even though I’d only been here almost two months, Pasadena and California felt like a lifetime ago.
As I pushed open the door marked “Exit” on the ground floor, I decided to give mom a call after the midterm. I needed to hear her voice again.
“Ah!” I said, stepping down onto the walk, pulling my sweater around me and hugging myself.
It was only near the end of September, and already I could feel winter’s bite in the breeze.
All those trees rustled their bare branches in agreement, like thousands of finger bones rattling together.
“Time to get home,” I whispered, again trying to urge my body faster.
But my legs didn’t need the encouragement. They followed the curve of the road to the small sidewalk beside the soccer field. The posts of the nearest net loomed out of the darkness, but the rest of the pitch was dark.
Everyone else must have been studying right then, too, I figured. There was almost no one out. It was like I was in the midst of some old haunted town, the ghosts always keeping just out of sight.
I walked faster, the loudest noise the click on my shoes on the pavement.
When I passed the soccer field I was halfway to my dorm. I could see the squat, three-floor building in the distance. Some people had their curtains drawn, while others had them open, letting white and yellow light spill out.
I could actually see a few people moving around there, silhouetted against their curtains.
I’d be there in five minutes. Less, even. I could snuggle up under my blanket, pillow tucked behind my back, and fight the desire to sleep as I re-read my lecture notes until my eyes bled.
“Hey, look, it’s Stephie!” said a voice behind me.
I’d been so busy anticipating getting back to my room that I hadn’t heard the footsteps closing in on me. But there they were. From the sound of it, there were at least two.
And I recognized that voice, too. It was Fratboy Eric.
My feet carried me more quickly, and I didn’t look back. If I ignored them, they might just shout a few choice words at me and head off to find easier prey.
“Aww, Stephie, come back! We need your help!”
The fear was hot this time, shooting out from my heart. I started running.
The guys, like wild predators acting on instinct, gave chase.
My skirt let me run freely, but they were faster. Strong fingers grabbed my arm and wrenched back so hard that the sharp pain in my shoulder took my breath away.
I stumbled, falling backwards. But they caught me, held me up.
“Why’d you run away? Didn’t you hear Eric say we needed your help?” Joseph said.
He’d become more and more Eric’s toady as the semester went on. He even looked the part, being shorter and stouter, with a peasant’s flat, unremarkable face and a brow ridge that would do a Neanderthal proud.
I looked up at my dorm, only fifty feet away. The front entrance, with its nice, secured plate-glass doors, was so close. The light spilling out from the lobby nearly touched my feet.
“Guys, I really have to go study…” I said, my heart trying to bash its way out through my ribs.
I’d tried running. Now it was time for a different approach. Let them have their fun. I could take whatever they had to say.
Eric pursed his lips and ran his fingers through his hair. They both still wore their letterman jackets, and the big gold R on each of their chests glinted a little in the weak light coming from my building.
“I don’t think you’ll want to study. Or be able to for that matter. You got the list, Joe?” Eric said. He pulled me towards him, his fingers digging deeper into my arm. My fingers were starting to go numb, he gripped me so tightly.
“Yeah, right here,” Joe said, pulling out a folded and rumpled piece of paper. He thumbed it open, “Just this and we can go turn it in.”
“What… what’s going on?” I said.
Should I scream? It felt like I should be screaming bloody murder, trying to catch the attention of one of those shadows moving behind the curtains in the dormitory.
“Well, we got a little scavenger hunt going. First team that hands in the completed list gets to keep rushing,” Eric said, “Good thing you were out. I was thinking we’d have to break into one of the fresher dorms to find a nice first year co-ed.”
The fear turned from hot to cold, working its chilly fingers into my flesh. My body went rigid in some protective instinct.
“Eric, she’s gonna…” Joe started.
I opened my mouth to scream, but Eric clapped a hand over it so all that escaped was a little squeal that didn’t travel more than five feet.
“You hold her shoulders. When I’m done, you can finish her off,” Eric said.
They started trying to force me onto the grass beside the walk.
My subconscious grasped what was happening before the rest of me did. It seized control. I struggled, lashing out with my arms and legs, trying to dig my nails into anything soft. I bit at Eric’s hand, but then he just held my mouth shut.
Another spurt of wild energy shot through my as I felt my back press against the soft dirt. I landed a solid kick in Joseph’s stomach. He swore, slamming my leg down.
No, no, no, no, I kept thinking. This couldn’t be happening. Joe’s hand started sliding up the side of my leg, under my skirt. I arched my back high in the air, my entire body rigid with the effort to free myself.
But they were just too strong.
The branches of the trees swayed above me, their bony fingers clattering in anticipation of the show below. The cold white dots of the stars above blinked uncaringly as Joseph managed to snag the waistband of my panties with his thumb.
“Shh, it’ll all be over soon. At least when Joe gets to you. He’s still a virgin, you know…” Eric said.
I squeezed my eyes shut, my hands clenching into fists and my legs still struggling against Joseph’s strength.
I tried to think of my mother, of the day we’d spent at the beach watching the tide slowly swallow up more and more of the sand.
“Her skin’s so soft,” Joseph said, still trying to work my panties down.
“Whatever, you faggot, hurry up. It’s too damn quiet out here,” Eric said.
I crossed my legs, squeezing my thighs together as hard as I could. Hot tears started streaming out of my eyes, boiling down my cheeks and wetting my hair.
Joseph’s fingernails scratched me, the sharp pain driving me into another round of struggles.
“If you don’t stop it, I’ll knock you the fuck out,” Eric said.
He held my shoulders, holding me down awkwardly with one hand over my mouth. To emphasize his point,
he used his elbow to hit the side of my head.
“You sure they can’t see us?” Joseph said.
“They can’t, dumbass. You forget how to use your fingers or something? Hurry up!”
“I’m trying, but she’s got her legs together so tight.”
“All right, since you’re obviously too stupid, we’re switching places. Ready?” Eric said.
Joseph started to say something, untangling his fingers from the waistband of my panties.
Whatever it was, it ended with a startled squawk that turned into a cry of pain.
“The fuck you doing?” Eric said.
His hands left me. I opened my eyes in time to see someone jump over me, leather jacket flapping in the wind, as they tackled Eric to the ground.
“I’ll bust you up, I’ll break your damn… ungh!” Eric said. There was a grinding noise followed by a pop.
I didn’t care about all that. I didn’t care about Joseph lying awkwardly on his back by my feet, blood pumping from his shattered nose.
I just needed to get away, into the light of my damn. I crawled, grabbing handfuls of grass to pull myself along as the sounds of struggle continued behind me.
Finally, I managed to pull myself to my feet. I almost tripped every other step as I dashed towards the light.
“Hey! Wait! Are you all right?”
I saw the leather jacket from the corner of my eye as whoever it was caught up to me.
“Go away! Leave me alone!” I said.
“Don’t worry, I took care of them,” he said.
We reached the doors to my dorm at the same time. My lungs burned, and my heart pounded so hard that I could taste blood at the back of my throat. Grabbing the metal handle, I wrenched at the door. It didn’t budge.
“You’re gonna need your key,” he said.
I nodded, still not looking at him. Inside, I could see the bank of mail boxes, the empty reception desk, the hall that led to the stairs.
I grabbed my key out of my pocket, but I couldn’t get it into the lock. My hands shook too much. The bit of metal scratched the brown paint around the circular lock, leaving jagged silver lines behind.
