Tia’s scowl etched two lines into her forehead. “Yeah. You should have quit on principle. To support me. You did the same thing. Worse. You- you got off with a slap on the wrist while I got fired.”
“It wasn’t exactly a slap on the wrist after you screamed to the entire office that I fucked you on my desk.”
Tia’s face went a brilliant shade of red. “I- well- you deserved it. Obviously the tinted glass on your office kept the cameras from reaching in there, or maybe they just weren’t at the right spot, but people deserved to know.”
“No, you just wanted to get me fired.”
“Did you know there were cameras?” Tia’s hands shifted to her hips. She did the angry mother look so well, Jack would have laughed. He would have, had his own mother never looked at him that way. He pushed thoughts of his unhappy childhood aside and instead conjured comic style images of women in that same chastising position.
“No. Of course not. I mean, maybe in other parts of the building, but I didn’t know we had any in our department. I thought that was reserved for the lobby, the reception area, the places were money is handled. That kind of thing.”
“I… so did you? Get fired?” Jack hedged. It was, unfortunately, the wrong thing to do. Tia blew out an exasperated breath. “Of course you didn’t. Even after I screamed the place down, you probably still got off with a warning.”
“Honestly, I don’t think anyone believed you. You were acting like a crazy person. It made me look quite good in comparison.”
Tia rolled her eyes and her lips thinned out angrily. “You're right. Jack the fucking saint. I forgot. Jack the savior. Jack the guy who gives women really good orgasms. You’re a real charitable guy.”
“I was just trying to help.” He closed his eyes for a brief second as Tia’s hands closed into fists. Her car kept puttering away beside them, filling up his nose with exhaust fumes.
“Trying to help?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm and maybe a hint of disbelief. “Is that what you call it?”
“That first night, I just wanted to see you home.”
“So where did fucking me on the stairs factor in?”
Jack glanced around at the houses on either side, but luckily enough, given that he’d come on his lunch break and it was the middle of the day, no one seemed to be around.
“Look. I came to tell you that I’m sorry. Really. I- I didn’t mean for you to get fired. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. Is there anything I can do? Write you a reference? Make some calls? I have some friends in the industry who might be able to take you on.”
Tia shook her head vehemently. Her mouth dropped open like he’d just insulted her further. “No fucking thanks. Any friends of yours aren’t friends of mine. I would rather die than work for someone who knows you. They’d probably gather that I was just some discarded fucktoy for you that you felt guilty about. You’d reduce me to some pathetic thing…”
“No. No, that’s not it at all, Tia. Most of those guys are colleagues only, not friends. They don’t know anything about my personal life.”
“No one does. Not me, not anyone at work. You’re a real mystery, aren’t you, Jack? Do you like to spend your time alone or do you just enjoy moving from one person to the next that much?”
He nearly took a step backwards. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had brought him so close to losing his composure. What the hell was it about Tia that had him so on edge? She stared at him like she could see straight through to his soul. Judging from the sour look on her face, she didn’t like what she saw at all.
Tia’s face screwed up in rage and he knew he was in for it. “I don’t need your help,” she hissed. “I don’t accept your apology, because I don’t feel like it’s genuine. I’ve done some thinking, a lot of thinking, and I realized that you’re beyond redemption. Like so far fucking beyond it, it’s scary. You’re the kind of person who likes to mean nothing to people and who likes people to mean nothing to you. You’re like a parasite to society. No, to people. You feed off of them and take what you need and then you leave them emotionally crippled. Or wait. Maybe that’s just you. That seems to fit the bill. You’re real good at fucking, aren’t you Jack, but when it comes to feeling anything, you don’t actually do that, do you?”
Get out. Now. If he followed his gut, he could still salvage what was left of his tattered pride. Talk about hitting the nail on the head. That was him in a nutshell. Crippled. Emotionally crippled. Fucked up. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get close to anyone… well, yes it was, but worse, he couldn’t. He couldn’t risk someone finding out what he’d done in the past. He couldn’t risk letting someone close and having them find out that he wasn’t who he said he was. Having them find out that he wasn’t nearly good enough, that he was just some street rat who made a decent chunk of change running with a gang and worked hard the rest of the time, even with fake credentials. Worked hard to make himself successful, but also to ensure that the vulnerable parts of himself remained safely locked away.
Jack held up his hands. “You’re right.” Tia’s shoulders slumped a little at the admission and her face relaxed slightly. Just slightly. She didn’t seem as defensive. Not like it mattered. He knew he didn’t stand a chance. “I really did come to apologize. I hope you’ll take that to heart. I am sorry for everything. Truly. You actually have no idea.” He nodded towards the front step where the box of doughnuts sat. “I brought you doughnuts. Since the last box you got your hands on might have ended up all over me and my office.”
Tia stared at him. She maintained one hell of a poker face. Or maybe she truly was that angry. Maybe she really did hate him. He wasn’t sure how he could have shrugged that shit off so easily in the past, because at the moment, it hurt. It hurt far more than it should. He didn’t like the feeling, the pain in his chest.
He left it at that. He needed to get the hell out of there. Once he was safely home, he could lick his wounds and rebuild what was left of his shattered pride. Pride. Was that really all it was?
His footfalls echoed down the empty street. At least, he imagined they did. They sounded pretty damn loud in his own ears. Or was that the sound of his heartbeat?
Jack’s fingers closed over the handle of his car. Because he was real good at sensing danger, because his past still snuck up on him and took him unawares, when he was sleeping or in unguarded moments, he whirled.
Tia stood right there, a silent, hesitant shadow.
“What?” Jack said edgily. “What do you need to say? If there are other ways you’d like to insult me, call me and leave me a message. I promise I’ll get them.”
She swallowed hard.
It took him a second to wade through his own annoyance, anger, and hurt, to realize that her face wasn’t red and her lips nearly turned up at the corners.
“I wanted to say thanks for the doughnuts.” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed again, then she cleared it loudly. “And- uh- I wanted to know if you wanted to come in and- have one. And a cup of coffee.”
Jack couldn’t believe it. She’d stood there, in a rage, yelling things that were far too true and far too perceptive, one second and now she came bearing a white flag, looking for a truce? It was too incredible to actually be real. He waited, sure that she’d sucker punch him or that she’d tell him she was just kidding, that she just wanted to mess with him and rub a little extra salt into his wounds to get him back. Fair was fair and all.
But she didn’t. Tia stood there, wide eyed, the stiff breeze whipping chestnut strands of hair out of her braid, flinging them around her face. She wet her lips, then sunk her top teeth into her bottom lip. He nearly growled as his cock responded.
No way. Hell no. That is not part of the deal. For the first time ever, he was going to say yes, going to have a conversation with a woman he didn’t want to fuck. Well, he did want to fuck Tia, but he was going to control himself this time. This time, he was going to actually just- talk.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d
faced so terrifying a prospect.
“Yeah,” he nodded slowly. “I could use a cup of coffee.”
It was a damn good thing that despite a shitty past and a hard life, he remained somewhat of an optimist. He’d taken an extended lunch break, just in case, on the off chance, Tia might have been in a forgiving mood.
Chapter 18
TIA
It took about five minutes for Tia to realize that inviting Jack in for coffee had been a mistake. She bustled about in the kitchen making coffee, opening wrong drawers and bumping into things because her head was a mess and her body was so hot from the inside out that it felt like she was a volcano about to erupt. Jack sat at a stool at the island, watching every single move. His eyes missed nothing. His gaze ate her up to the point where she couldn’t think. She could barely even function.
She was relieved when there was finally enough coffee in the pot to make a cup and a half. A cup for Jack, half for her. She hoped that he didn’t notice how her hands shook or how the coffee kept on dripping, sizzling on the heated bottom.
When she turned, mug in hand, Jack’s eyes flicked away. He wasn’t embarrassed he was staring, he looked like he sensed that she needed a break from it. Because it was doing all the wrong kinds of things to her insides. A familiar weight settled in her stomach and the familiar burn she felt when she was with Jack, or honestly, whenever she thought about him, crept up her thighs.
“You have a nice house. It’s…”
“Small.”
“I was going to say quaint.”
She frowned. Her eyes fell to the box of doughnuts on the island, remembering the talk she’d just had with her sister. She’d promised herself, the entire ride home, that if he called again, she’d answer.
The truth was, she missed him. He’d entered her neat little life, a life where people colored between the lines and things made sense. A life where rational ruled, not emotion. A life without heat or passion, because that was safe. Their coming together was more than just physical. There was something unspoken, something alarming, color in a world of black and gray. She didn’t want to admit that when she’d been escorted out of her workplace, it wasn’t just her job she’d lost. It was the possibility of something… something big. Something she’d never experienced before. It scared the hell out of her.
“I- sorry. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say.”
Tia snapped her attention back to Jack. She felt her face heat up right along with the rest of her body, a body Jack seemed to know and understand more intimately than anyone she’d ever been with, right from the first touch.
“No. I was daydreaming. Do you want cream and sugar?”
“No. Black is fine.” His eyes strayed to a spot behind her. “You might want to put the pot back on though.”
Tia realized that she’d set the pot down on the counter top. “Shit!” She reached for dishcloth which straddled the middle of a double stainless sink. The thing was due for a wash anyway. She hated that rancid smell that clothes seemed to get after only a few washes.
She made quick work of the spill and slipped the pot back into place. She threw the cloth into the sink and made a mental note to grab it later for the wash. She already knew she’d forget, then find it too late and have to run downstairs and chuck it in at the last moment into a half-finished wash cycle.
Because she couldn’t bear to face Jack, she went to the fridge and pulled out a carton of cream. She added far too much to her cup, watched the coffee turn a light caramel, and stalked back to the fridge. When she turned again, Jack had his mug in front of him, though she hadn’t seen him take it. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Pulling up the bar stool beside him seemed far too personal and far too intimate. She wanted to keep a few feet of distance between them. Because she was weak and he was as sinfully handsome as ever. More so, since he was dressed more casually than she’d ever seen and those jeans cupped all the right places. Wrong places. All the wrong places. Because those aren’t right. No, his ass isn’t that nice. And that bulge in front… oh god. I seriously did not notice that. She didn’t like the way her eyes kept straying to his shoulders, which appeared huge in the leather jacket.
His hair was combed back as always, but his hard jawline had a light dusting of stubble, as though he’d missed shaving the night before and hadn’t had time for it in the morning either. She liked it. Far more than she should. She found herself wondering what that rasp of beard would feel like on the inside of her thighs or against her lips. Fuck.
“Just so you know,” Tia said edgily as she leaned against the small granite island. “You’re not forgiven. I- you cost me my job. Now I’ll probably have to go back to working something shitty until I have the chance at finding something good again.”
“I really do know people. I have a few contacts.” He eyed her warily, as though he expected her to snap again.
“Oh yeah?” She raised a brow, challenging him. “And you really think that they would want to hear from someone who got fired from her last job for- uh- well… yeah.” She trailed off lamely, her face turning into a raging inferno again.
Jack’s eyes darkened. “Yes. I know. And they wouldn’t have to know. I’d make a few calls for you, if you’d like.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he clarified. “It wouldn’t be an instant in. I would just make a few inquiries to see if there were any openings currently or coming up. It’s not that uncommon for people to do things like that.”
“Really?” Tia never had anyone in her corner. Her parents worked average, middle class jobs. They didn’t have ins for her like some people’s parents did. They didn’t know anyone with any kind of pull or rank anywhere. She and her sister had been on their own their entire lives. She’d had to work hard to find her own jobs and pave her own way. “I always was a little jealous of people who got into good jobs like that.” Jobs they didn’t actually deserve. Jobs they took away from qualified people because mommy or daddy knew the right ear to whisper in.
“I know. I’ve seen more than a few entitled individuals get jobs they didn’t deserve. The difference between you and them is that you do deserve it. Your ideas were really good. You’re a great artist. You’re an even better teammate. I had no idea you were that- skilled.”
Tia’s mouth went dry and her palms grew sweaty at Jack’s praise. She rolled her eyes to cover up her discomfort. She wished like hell she could just stay mad at him. It was way easier for her to keep him at a distance when she had her anger as a barrier.
She reached for the box of doughnuts and popped the lid. Her eyes flew to Jack’s face. “What? No powdered, raspberry filled?”
His lips turned up in a wry grin. “They were out, actually.”
“Or were you just afraid you’d end up wearing them again?”
“They were a mess and a half to clean off my cupboards. The poor janitors had a devil of a time with the carpet too. I have to give you credit though. You get an eleven out of twelve for inventiveness. I doubt anyone has ever seen anything like that, or ever will again.”
“Great.” Tia groaned. “I’m going to be forever known as that crazy girl who fucks her boss and then goes ballistic throwing doughnuts at him and has to be escorted from the building by security.”
“There are worse ways to go out.”
“Really? Like what?”
Two deep lines etched their way into Jack’s forehead as he thought. A few minutes ticked by. Tia took a sip of her coffee and helped herself to a vanilla doughnut with white icing and colorful sprinkles. She left the box open, but Jack didn’t take any. He’d probably had his fill of doughnuts for a lifetime.
“Actually, you’re right. I can’t think of a worse way.”
Tia nearly choked on the bite she’d just taken. She slammed her hand over her mouth as she laughed. It was the kind of laugh that was totally silent and took hold, the kind that was so hard tears formed in the corners of her eyes and her stomach hurt.
“Oh my god,” she panted. “Well… th
anks for being honest. I don’t even know how you can go in every single day with people knowing what happened.”
“Like I said, you made it easy for me. Everyone thinks you’re crazy so it made me look a little more credible. Like I was the victim.”
“Oh, thanks.” She rolled her eyes again. “You’re welcome, I guess.” Her eyes flew to his face and she set the doughnut aside, right onto the counter even though she knew it would make a sticky mess. “Can I ask you something? Will you give me a straight answer?”
Chapter 19
TIA
Tia waited, unsure. She wasn’t actually going to ask anything personal and Jack’s hesitation and obvious discomfort, though he masked it well, surprised her just a little. Doesn’t he ever let anyone in? On a burst of sudden inspiration, Tia realized that it was highly unlikely. Despite the fact that Jack was calm, cool, and collected on the outside, was he really a mess on the inside, just as she was? He had practice being composed. When it really came down to connecting with another person, she guessed that he just straight up didn’t do it.
It was something about the way they’d- well- come together those two times. How it had been spontaneous and hot as fire. How he’d been so shocked to see her that first day at work. Obviously she was as well, so she’d passed that off as normal. It was the way he’d stared at her the second time, like he was already closing himself off, like he didn’t know what the hell to do with what he felt. For her, she’d never done anything like what she’d done with him. It was normal for her to feel uncomfortable and strange and completely- naughty and untamed. For him though- maybe it was a whole different feeling entirely.
Jack hesitated, then shrugged. It was far too casual, and far too telling and Tia figured her little revelation might actually be correct. Why? Why doesn’t he let people in? Maybe he was like her- hurt too many times to fully or easily trust again. Tia didn’t know how she knew, but for some reason, she didn’t think that was it.
“I guess,” Jack finally mumbled. “I guess I owe it to you.”
Lonely Rider - The Box Set: A Motorcycle Club Romance - The Complete Series Page 23
