“Shawn,” Kayla demanded again in that smoky, sexy, darkly raspy voice of hers.
“Don’t worry, baby,” he said just as thickly, right by her ear. “I know what you need.”
“Oh,” she gasped as he doubled up his index finger and slid two into her soaking wet pussy. They both let out a hard exhale as he drew out and ran his fingers over her heated folds.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he groaned, because he couldn’t not say the words. She was perfect. Perfect in every single way. Why she wanted to have anything to do with a guy like him, who was so far from perfect that it was actually laughable, was beyond him.
Kayla made little panting noises in response, the sexiest noises in the world. She arched her back and moaned low, privately, just for his own ears, as he slipped his fingers back inside of her. Her pussy was so tight that he couldn’t not fuck her with his fingers and imagine he was fucking her with his cock. He set a fast rhythm, but he was sure that he didn’t need to. She was so ready, so amazing, so… so like heaven, so needy and achy and wet, that all it took was a few thrusts of his fingers and she was gone.
He wanted to watch her come. As soon as that gorgeous pussy started clenching around his fingers, his eyes snapped open and he shifted so that he could watch her face. Her lips parted and her eyes slammed shut. Her nostrils flared as she frowned. She panted and whimpered quiet raspy whimpers as the climax took her. It went on for half a minute and he loved it, watching her. He loved the way her eyelashes fluttered and her bow lips trembled and the creases on her forehead eventually eased.
He loved when she looked up at him, those dark eyes pools of need, far from sated. She stared at him like she knew that he’d watched the whole thing, and actually found it hot, instead of being worried about what she looked like while she was in the throes of pleasure.
He was a little shocked when she reached down and gripped his hand. She brought it up to her mouth and slowly, watching him the entire time, she licked her juices from the digits.
Fuck me. The only thing hotter than watching her do that would have been watching her take his cock between those full sensual lips of hers. Just the thought nearly detonated an explosion that he needed to fucking hold back, so instead of thinking about Kayla’s lips wrapped around his cock, about her sweet tongue licking and circling the tip, about her taking him to the back of her throat, he pulled his hand away, spread her legs, and brought his cock to her entrance.
She stared up at him the entire time.
And then, because she was Kayla and she hadn’t done one single thing that he would have expected so far, she reached around and sunk both hands into his ass, pulling him roughly up against her while she arched against him. She wrapped her legs around his hips, while her eyes flashed.
“If you don’t get inside of me, I will fucking kill you,” she said roughly.
He’d never been asked so nicely in his life.
So he gave her exactly what she wanted.
Chapter 14
KAYLA
Shawn’s hand fisted in her hair. His fingers tangled in the silky strands, creating a delicious burn in her scalp. The pain was just one more sensation. Her peaked nipples, the throbbing ache between her legs, the burn inside of her that wasn’t even close to being sated, her pounding heart and the tightness low in her belly, the tingling in her thighs and toes, it was all foreign. It was all delicious and amazing.
Kayla was no virgin, but she’d never experienced sex like this before, and they still hadn’t even technically had sex.
“I’m going to fuck that gorgeous perfect pussy now,” Shawn rasped near her ear. Another flood of sensation rocketed through her and she swore that a flood of wetness pooled between her thighs. God, he had a filthy mouth and there must have been something wrong with her, because she liked it.
Shawn balanced on one arm as he shoved an arm below her, his hand lifting her lower back, slamming her pelvis up higher. She was already open to him, already open and aching. She was willing to beg, if she had to. She bucked her hips up, locking her legs tighter around his solid hips. The tip of his cock slid to her entrance with the movement and she made a sound in the back of her throat that wasn’t like any other sound she could remember making. It was a wanton sound, a greedy sound.
She didn’t care. She wasn’t embarrassed. She shouldn’t want him, but she did and she was very well aware that they might not have another chance.
With a low growl that was torn from somewhere lower, darker, deeper than his throat, Shawn thrust hard. He pushed all the way inside of her, filling her up with that one hard stroke. He didn’t give her time to catch her breath or get used to the size of him. She gasped and tried to breathe through the burn. He was… huge.
Kayla moaned. She shifted, trying to take him, trying to fit him all the way inside of her. It hurt, but the pain was delicious. She clutched at Shawn’s shoulders, digging her fingers into the smooth, inked skin, into the hard muscle below.
“Do you like that, Kayla? You like me filling you up?”
“Yes,” she panted. “I…”
“What does it feel like? I want you to tell me.”
“I… it feels… so good,” she responded with a hoarse voice. “You’re- I’m- it feels really, really good.” She was shit at the dirty talk. She’d never done it before. She didn’t think sex was the kind of thing that really should involve talking, but she liked it. She loved the dirty words Shawn rasped so roughly near her ear.
“You’re the only heaven I’m ever going to get to.” Shawn pistoned harder, punctuating his words. Each stroke was harder, deeper, hitting her in all the right places. Inside. Outside. Their bodies slammed together and she arched up higher, letting him hit her clit, her… she wasn’t even sure what he was hitting, but it felt amazing.
Their skin grew wet, sticking, chaffing, rubbing. Her aching nipples hit and rubbed against Shawn’s chest. The friction sent a flurry of sparks racing through her bloodstream.
When he bent his head and kissed her, it wasn’t a normal kiss. It was the kind of kiss that bound them together, as close as they could ever be, closer than she’d ever been with another person. Ever. She’d never even known it was possible to be anything more than one body meeting another. That whole becoming one thing was just a myth to her. Until that moment. She actually wasn’t sure whose limbs were whose and where she ended and Shawn started.
He nipped her lip as he kissed her, the pain radiating, mixing with the pleasure that was growing with Shawn’s erratic thrusts.
“Come for me, baby,” he commanded. “I want to feel you shatter.”
Kayla hadn’t even realized that she’d been holding back, but Shawn thrust harder, filling her completely. A wildfire raged through her and burst in a series of white hot sparks that detonated other explosions all throughout her limbs. Every single part of her clenched up and trembled. She gave Shawn everything she had. She lost herself in him. She surrendered at the same time as he did. He thrust hard, his body heaving on top of her. She felt the hot jets burst inside of her as he filled her once more, seated himself deep, and burst inside of her.
He was so much stronger than she was, so much bigger. His body was all dangerous, masculine power. She felt tiny and frail in comparison, but at that moment, they were equal. They were vulnerable, giving and taking. It didn’t matter what their pasts were. That his life had been filled with danger and likely horror and violence and hers with so much grief she thought for a long time that she’d actually died with her mother and she was just a shell that went on going through the motions.
Their past, their future, it was just… put on hold. It was just them. Their rapid breaths and their heavy chests. Their sweat soaked skin. With an urgency that bordered on desperation, they clung to each other, trembling together, afraid to let go.
Afraid of whatever they’d just found in each other.
Afraid that soon they would lose it.
Chapter 15
SHAWN
H
e didn’t do cuddling. He’d never held anyone close to him in his life. He did sex. Not intimacy. He wasn’t equipped to deal with that shit. He could pleasure a woman, but when it came to feelings… he knew he was better off without those. He thought he’d felt something for… well, he wasn’t going to even think her name when he was there with Kayla. If he was going to think about her though, he thought he’d felt something for her and it hit him hard when she’d disappeared, but what he’d felt then was nothing compared to the clusterfuck of emotions going on inside his chest.
It was like an explosive had just detonated and all the shrapnel was lodged in his insides, tearing him apart. Real romantic. It was true though. He felt fucked up. Like he was being torn apart and bleeding out, but it wasn’t entirely awful.
It was difficult for a guy who wasn’t particularly in touch with his own emotions to explain what the hell was going on inside.
He shifted, but Kayla wasn’t having it. Her arm was thrown over his chest and she tightened her hold. “No,” she whispered, her cheek pressed into his pec. He was sweaty and probably smelled like it, and he didn’t imagine it was comfortable for her to rest her face there, but she wasn’t complaining. “If something happens tonight… I was thinking… uh- I don’t even know how to say this…”
He waited for her to get her thoughts together. He tried to tell himself that it was because he didn’t know how to shove her off and make a fast getaway like he should. He should be rough. Just get it over with. They’d fucked. Big deal. He’d fucked a lot of women before.
This is different and you fucking know it, you piece of shit. He ignored his conscious or whatever the hell that thought was, but he still didn’t shove Kayla away. Maybe it was different. Maybe he was just getting old and tired of living like this. Fucking a different woman all the time. The guys who were drugged up and drunk half the time and violent the rest. This never had to be my world. He could have made something of himself, if he tried.
Thinking about that made him think about his mom. He didn’t want to think about her. About how worried she was. About how she probably wished with all her heart that he’d grow a fucking brain and some stones and come back home. Thinking about her missing him made him think about how much she’d really miss him if something happened to him when they stormed Marcello’s house.
It was a shit plan. A really shitty plan, but they couldn’t come up with anything else. Marcello wasn’t dumb enough to venture out and make himself a target. They had to get to him before he went on the offensive again. The bastard could hole up in his house for a long time. They needed to act soon, when he wasn’t expecting them, before he could send for any help that might come his way.
He’d have to remember to write his mom a note. Leave it at the club house with instructions that if something happened to him, someone needed to mail it. Fuck. I don’t even have a will.
“I had all these plans,” Kayla mumbled against his chest. Her breath tickled his skin and it actually felt nice. Nice in a way that he’d never truly known before. Nice in a way he wanted to feel again. Which wouldn’t happen if he caught a bullet. Thankfully Kayla started talking again and his brain snapped off. “I have all these plans,” she corrected softly. Too softly. The catch in her voice was like taking a kick right to the nuts. “I want to own my own restaurant. My dad doesn’t believe in it. He doesn’t think it’s good enough for me. I went and got a Business Degree just to make him happy. So that I’d have something to fall back on. He thinks I’m going to fail, but he’s still supported me all these years. I- I always worked towards that. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid. My mom- we used to cook together. All the time. She taught me all these family recipes. The ones that you can’t read off a card. I remember all of them. Every single one. I’m not going to fail at this. I- I won’t fail at it.”
Shawn did something completely alien to him. He was surprised at how natural it was, how automatic it was for him to want to offer comfort, as he smoothed some of the tangles in Kayla’s dark hair. Even snarled, it was still soft as silk. It was the kind of hair that was so thick it was probably curly when it was wet.
It shocked the hell out of him that he actually wanted to find out what it looked like. What it felt like.
“You won’t fail,” he assured her, because it was the obvious thing to say, but also because he meant it. Kayla had enough spirit, enough fight in her, enough sass, to succeed at anything she fought for.
“That’s the thing.” She traced a pattern over his left pec and his cock hardened between them. She ignored it, probably because she was lost somewhere in her own head, so he did his best to try and deflate the fucker and not think about it. “I always wanted it. I worked hard. But after my mom died, I just felt so… lost. Alone. Adrift. I was still going through the motions. Surviving. Living. All that. On the outside. On the inside though… I just- this is going to sound so terrible, but I- I wished that I could just give up. Like… not really wish that I was dead, but it would just have been easier sometimes if I didn’t have to feel so- so damn much.”
Shawn nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “And now you’ve been shot at and your dad is mixed up with dangerous men who do bad fucking things and you’re right in the thick of it and you wish your life could just go back to what it was, even if it was shit at the heart of it. You want to go back and take those moments back and make them mean something because you might not get another chance.”
Wow. Didn’t know I was a goddamn poet. How quaint.
Kayla’s head cranked up and she looked at him with those huge dark eyes. Her expression was unreadable, because unlike what she said about feeling dead inside, she was alive. She was so very alive. So vibrant. So beautiful. So amazing. She was like an angel that had entered temporary insanity, fallen from heaven, and wound up in the arms of a beast.
Not the devil. He wasn’t the devil. Not even close. In fact, he’d spent the majority of his life, even the years living rough, trying to avoid doing half the shit the other guys in the club enjoyed. Stealing and dealing was one thing. Taking lives and hurting innocent people in some way or other wasn’t his jam. He’d been careful and he hadn’t had to participate in that. At least not often. He’d gone on rides before, but he was always a minor player. One of those background guys that didn’t really matter.
It was probably how his club saw him now. He was just a prospect. He was going to war with the rest of them, because they needed every single man they had. He might have to kill. He might be killed.
It was a wake-up call. A big fucking wake-up call. Because this wasn’t selling drugs. This wasn’t roughing up some jack ass dealer who skimmed off the top. This wasn’t collecting what the club was due. This wasn’t a ride and this wasn’t intimidation. This was the real fucking deal.
“Yeah,” she whispered softly, into the silence between them. She studied him with those big, liquid eyes. He studied her right back.
“I’ve never done this before,” he admitted. His tongue was loose and apparently it had a mind of its own. Funny, what a person will say when they know they’re about to ride off to their own demise.
“What?”
“This.” He blinked. “Any of it. There’s never been a…”
“You were a virgin?” Kayla actually smiled and it softened her face. She was adorable when she wasn’t spitting mad. Of course, when she was pissed right off, she was downright sexy.
“No,” he snorted, but it was nice to have the big black cloud looming over them dissipate for just a few seconds. “I’ve never… uh- never mind. It’s stupid.”
“I get it,” Kayla admitted. Her face was so soft, it hurt to look at her. She was looking at him, looking right through him. Right to the spots that were soft and vulnerable and achy. Spots that he’d tried very hard over the past decade and some to erase. “I’ve never done this either. I- when I- uh- well at first I was too young to know the difference and guys weren’t really into that. It was just- sex. And then my
mom got sick and for years, I was- there wasn’t time for anything else. School and mom. That’s all I did. Then- after… I used it… as a way to just- uh- not think. It didn’t have to be meaningful. In fact, it wasn’t meaningful at all. Maybe that sounds bad.”
“I’m not worried about bad,” Shawn scoffed. “Obviously.”
Twin spots appeared on Kayla’s cheeks. “I guess we should… uh- you probably have to get ready.” She rolled away and he couldn’t help but watch her, as she gathered her clothes up and started to pull them on.
The most fucked up part- he should have been relieved. Instead, with the heat of her body gone and the first real comfort he’d known in a very long time, he felt- empty. Bereft. Achy. What a fine damn time to realize that he might have something left inside his chest after all.
She turned, when she was dressed. “You probably have somewhere to be. Er- things to do. To get ready and all that.” Her face was guarded again, careful, an unreadable mask. He knew. He’d spent so many years perfecting the same thing. It kept him alive, that facade. Clearly, Kayla experienced the same shit. She had to be tough. She had to survive. She’d been through hell and back and it took a toll on a person.
He was just sorry. Sorry about it all. It was probably something the other guys would call him a pussy for. Maybe he should hand in his man-card. Maybe someone had come and cut his stones off when he wasn’t looking. Fuck it. I could be dead soon.
He wished he wasn’t such a dumb ass. That he could find a few words in that slow, sludgy brain of his. Instead he nodded at her, shoved off the bed, and grabbed up his clothes. She turned around while he dressed.
They were strangers again. Even though it felt like more. So much more. It felt like his entire world had flipped on its side and all that carefully guarded, walled up, bricked up bullshit was crumbling and flying and falling all over the damn place.
Lonely Rider - The Box Set: A Motorcycle Club Romance - The Complete Series Page 85
