by K. B. Wagers
“Your Highness, it wasn’t my intention to upset you.” There was genuine regret in Hassan’s brown eyes.
“No, your intention was to discover if I’d known that little gem before I left.” An unwilling smile made its appearance on my face and Hassan paled a bit. I ignored it, and settled back into my seat. “You have your answer, Admiral. Do I get mine?”
Hassan started to say something else, thought better of it, and folded her hands in front of her with a sharp nod.
“Good,” I said. “Let’s get to work then.”
Face it, Haili, you’d rather have been a gunrunner anyway. Portis’s voice echoed in the back of my head.
With an almost imperceptible exhale, I let go of the life I could have had as Admiral Hassan steered the conversation toward the Saxon Alliance’s military strength and our own current R and D projects.
By the end of the hour, my brain swam with names and numbers and locations; even with the help of my smati, I was hard-pressed to keep track of it all.
“Please call me if you have any questions, Your Highness.” Hassan passed over the tablet and dipped her head. “I’m available at any hour.”
“Thank you. I’ll read through the files.”
Hassan bowed lower, came up, and nodded at Emmory with sharp military precision and headed for the door. My Ekam didn’t move and I cast him a curious look as I headed toward the window.
A quick, brutal storm had swept through as the sun set, dropping no snow but leaving the temperature just above freezing. We’d probably get snow before the hour was out.
The dolphins in the bay jumped and played, unaffected by the cold. Had we been closer, we could have heard them singing. It was a sweet song, another thing that separated them from their Earth-born cousins. Not a series of clicks, whistles, and sounds too high-pitched for human ears to hear, but a song like a chorus of angels. I used to love going to the beach with my father. Getting out of the palace was always a treat, and after his death I clung to the memory of those conversations.
Dad and I walked on the beach, hand in hand, our BodyGuards trailing after us like silent shadows. “Your mother is going to need all our help, Haili,” he said, staring out at the waves. His dark green eyes were hidden behind mirrored sunglasses, but I could feel the tension in the hand that was wrapped around mine.
I tried not to sigh, not to have the next words out of my mouth sound sullen, but judging from the slight smile on Father’s face, I only partially succeeded. “It’s boring.”
“It’s necessary.”
“Why can’t I go to the War Room with you? I’d rather know what the damned Sax are trying to pull.”
One of Father’s dark eyebrows winged up and he laughed. “Oh, my brilliant little soldier.” Dropping to a knee, he scooped me into a hug, his arms closing fiercely around me. He released me, holding on to my shoulders as he pulled back. “No more cursing though, okay? You’re only twelve and your mother would kill me if she knew you were doing that.”
“If she bothered to pay attention.”
“Haili.” Father slid his sunglasses off and cupped my face in his hands. “You’re right about the Saxons. They’re up to something. Your mother is under a lot of pressure to keep us all safe. Let’s help her out with that, okay? Like good soldiers?”
“Yes, sir.” I hung my head, watching my toes as I dug them into the gray sand. Father laughed again, but the strains of tension woven through his amusement were now evident to me, and when I launched myself into his arms, I clung to him with all my strength.
“Could we go down to the water?” The question slipped from me, and Emmory’s reflection jerked in surprise. All my attempts to get a reaction, and he was surprised by a request inspired by a stupid childhood memory—that figured.
“Highness, it wouldn’t be safe.”
“What’s safe? Cooped up in a cage?” I hoped my smile softened the teeth in my voice. “You know I’m not going to stand for it. I’ve spent a large chunk of my life with people trying to kill me, Emmory. The only difference between my life there and the one here is that I’m not armed right now. Which is something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”
“It’s safer for everyone if you aren’t armed.”
“Please.” The word was followed by snorted laughter. “You’re not believing the stories about me, Ekam?” I couldn’t resist the tease.
“You just threatened to kill the head of Home Fleet if she wasn’t loyal to the throne.” He gave me a look I was fast beginning to recognize: one mixed between frustration and amusement. “Highness, I know which ones are stories and which ones are truth. That makes it worse somehow.”
“Yes, but then you know I’m a hell of a shot, and despite rumors to the contrary, I have very good control of my temper.”
“It’s against protocol,” he said and my heart sank. “But I’ll think about it.”
I resisted the urge to hug him, settling instead for a beaming smile Emmory did not return.
My smile faded, and I glanced out the window once more. “Who killed my sisters, Emmory?”
“Highness, we’ve been home less than a day. I will need a little more time.”
“I want to see any information you have.”
His expression didn’t change. “You have enough on your plate.”
“Emmory, don’t try to tell me what to do. I want that information and I’ll have it with or without your help. They were my sisters, I have the right.”
Emmory dipped his head, his face still unreadable. I wished I could crack my BodyGuard open and figure him out, but I doubted even that would give me the answers I wanted. I pushed away from the windowsill with a sigh.
“I’d like to go to temple and visit my sisters, Ekam.”
I didn’t change clothes or mess with makeup for this trip. It wasn’t required after the first visit and I wasn’t in much of a mood to go through the fuss of a ceremony.
Shift change for my BodyGuards had been hours ago, but Emmory hadn’t quite settled on the members of my other teams so I was escorted to the temple by Willimet and Kisah.
The two women provided a study in polar opposites. Where Kisah was tall and blond, Willimet was tiny and dark. They both greeted me easily with smiles and quick bows.
The third member of their team, Rama, was younger than both of them. He bowed his dark, curly head as I came out of the room. “Your Highness.”
I smiled and resisted—only barely—the urge to pat his head. “Good evening, Rama.”
“Rama, stay on the door. You two are with us.” Emmory gestured down the hallway. Willimet took the lead and Kisah fell into step behind us.
If Nal had been by my side instead of Emmory, we’d look like a proper princess and her escorts.
Do you want to be proper, Hail, really? Thankfully my follow-up thought quashed the spike of guilt. I wasn’t ever going to be proper and I didn’t care about the gender of my BodyGuards.
“Fuck this place.” The words hissed out of my mouth before I could stop them and there was an audible inhale from behind me.
“Highness?”
“Nothing.” I cleared my throat and picked up my stride, forcing poor Willimet into a jog to stay ahead of me. People scrambled from my path so quickly I barely caught their rushed greetings.
Those are your people you’re trampling in your temper.
I came to such an abrupt halt that Kisah crashed into me and Emmory took several steps before he realized I wasn’t right beside him. The old man who’d just bowed out of my way looked up with something very close to terror on his face.
“Forgive me my haste, grandfather.” I hoped my smile eased his nerves. “What is your name?”
“Garuda, Your Highness.” He glanced at my BodyGuards, but smiled in return.
“That is an honorable name. It’s a great pleasure to meet you, Garuda.”
“My mother had high hopes, Your Highness. Sadly, I only spent my life in the kitchens.”
“We all need
to eat. There are less honorable pursuits.”
“Truly spoken, Your Highness.” He bowed. “I shouldn’t keep you.”
“Have a good evening.”
“You as well, Your Highness. May the gods keep you.”
I nodded and headed down the corridor again, this time taking care to smile and speak to the few people I encountered along my way.
The temple was silent when I entered. The wire wrapped around my heart tightened again at the sight of my sisters and niece, their illusions still lying silently above the bank of flickering candles.
You were expecting them to wake up? The voice in my head bit hard. Get you out of this mess maybe? Or maybe you should grow up, Hail, and realize that this isn’t a dream and there’s work to do.
This time I was able to hold my cursing back and instead knelt wordlessly at the altar. I stayed there, silent, until my feet went numb and the candle flames blurred. I stayed there, frozen in grief, some kind of strange penance for running away in the first place.
If I’d stayed. If only I’d stayed, maybe they’d all still be alive.
“Announce yourselves.” Emmory’s order jerked me out of my guilt and I stumbled to my feet with Willimet’s help.
Father Westinkar emerged from the shadows, two young women behind him. “With my apologies, Ekam. We didn’t mean to startle you.”
“This is the family temple, priest.”
“Yes, however my office is open to all. I was counseling this couple. Go on, children.” He sent the pair off and bowed, looking straight at me as he did. “Some need the quiet voice. Especially those with unquiet hearts.”
“Emmory.” His name was an exhale as I grabbed for his arm. “Tefiz used to say that to me.”
“Be at peace, Ekam. I am ever the empire’s loyal servant.” Father Westinkar didn’t say anything else, just disappeared around the massive columns to his rooms at the back of the temple.
I started to follow him.
“Highness.”
“I have to know. Call off Zin and whoever else is running this way. Father Westinkar would never hurt me in a million years.”
“I am not worried about one old priest—”
“Good,” I interrupted him. “Let’s go then.” My heart was hammering in my chest, but I headed into the shadows.
Golden light spilled from the doorway of the priest’s office and living quarters. I followed it like a beacon. Part of me hoping I wasn’t giving Emmory a reason to say “I told you so.”
The two women, older than the ones who’d been in the hallway, turned from the fire as I came through the door. Tefiz hadn’t changed at all. Her hair still black as the sea at night and her diminutive figure still imposing through sheer force of will. The woman at her side wasn’t her wife, but Fenna Britlen. The former head of the GIS had gray streaks in her red curls and more laugh lines around her blue eyes.
“Highness.” Both women kept their hands visible as they dropped to a knee.
I was only dimly aware of the sound that clawed itself from my throat as I crossed the room and wrapped Tefiz in a hug. “Dead. I thought you were dead.”
“Almost, Ata.” She squeezed me once and then urged me to my feet. I dragged her up with me. Cupping my face, Tefiz shook her head. “I never thought I’d see the day. I’ll bet that hair is driving your empress-mother wild.”
“Probably.” I laughed. “Nothing to be done about it. Ofa?”
Tefiz shook her head. “Dead in the wreck, Highness. I almost followed her.” She made a curious gesture of interlocked fingers I’d only ever seen her make once before. In the car after my father died.
I sank into the soft red chair by the heating grate and took the cup the priest pressed into my hands.
“We will be outside if you need us, Highness.” Emmory, in a move so shocking I nearly dropped my cup, closed the door behind him and left me alone with Tefiz.
“Drink up, Highness. I suspect you need it.”
I was expecting tea, or coffee, anything but the sharp sting of brandy. It kicked me in the back of the throat, and when I got done struggling for breath, I looked up to find Tefiz smiling at me with a mischievous twinkle in her dark eyes.
“The Father keeps some good stuff on hand.”
“I’ll say. What are you doing here?”
“You’re in danger, Highness.”
This time my laughter was humorless. “Someone’s tried to kill me twice in the last few days. I’m pretty aware of the danger. I’m also pretty sure we can handle it.”
“Don’t underestimate these people, Highness. They have spent your lifetime putting into action a plan to tear this empire down to its foundations. They have nearly wiped out your family. They managed to kill almost all the loyal BodyGuards. They have made the people frightened—not only of what’s out there but of the very people they should be looking to for guidance.” She pointed a finger at me.
“Knowing who these people are would help.”
“Hai, if I knew that, we’d be talking with your sister.” Tefiz made the gesture again and looked at the floor. “I’ve failed you. I’ve failed your family. I failed my wife. The only thing keeping me going right now is the thought of revenge.”
“I’m still alive.” I came up out of my chair and grabbed her by the wrists. “You didn’t fail me.”
“I can’t recognize a single thing about you,” Tefiz whispered. Sadness was heavy in her eyes. “I let you go into the blackness of space alone. The Haili I knew may as well be dead.”
Of all the ways I’d imagined this reunion would go, this had not been on the list. “Maybe she is,” I said, releasing her and moving back to my chair. “Bugger me, maybe the Tefiz I knew died in the wreck, because I never thought I’d hear her give up so easily. I’m not an uncertain eighteen-year-old anymore.”
“You weren’t uncertain then either,” she said. “Determined, rash, intelligent, but not uncertain.”
“And you didn’t let me go into space alone. You and Ofa sent Portis with me. I can’t ever thank you enough for that.” The ache in my chest grew and I rubbed a hand over the spot. A smile ghosted across Tefiz’s face as she echoed the gesture.
“I’m glad my instincts were right on that at least.”
“I wish things could go back to the way they were.” I wasn’t even sure if I meant back to my gunrunning or back to my childhood.
“It’s over and done. The gods had a different plan for you.”
“You already know I stopped believing in the gods the day my father died.” I shook my head before Tefiz could protest. “That hasn’t changed in twenty years, except maybe I’ve grown even more bitter on the subject.”
“Whatever rot this is, Ata, it goes deeper than any of us fear and has consequences more terrible than any of us can guess. It’s no exaggeration to say you are the last hope of the Indranan Empire.”
“I’m a gunrunner, Tefiz, not an empress.”
“I am no politician, just a cast-off BodyGuard. However, I would hazard a guess that what Indrana needs right now is someone who can be more than an empress.” She pushed out of her chair. “I suspect your Ekam is getting restless and I need to get out of here before someone spots me.”
“You’re not staying?”
Tefiz smiled. “I was relieved of duty, Highness, and I’m supposed to be dead, remember? I think there’s quite enough for people to chatter about without tossing me into the mix. We’ll stay in touch through Fenna. I’m sure she gave your Ekam all the information we have on the bastards who did this—admittedly it’s not much, but maybe you can find something new.”
“Did anyone tell Mother why I left? Or does she really think I ran away?”
Tefiz blinked and shook her head. “I don’t think anyone told her, Highness. Ofa thought it best. Ven didn’t agree but I don’t know why he didn’t overrule her and tell the empress anyway. Maybe he thought with her illness it wouldn’t matter.”
I hugged her tight. “Everything has changed, but I’m
still me and I missed you.”
She hugged me back. “I missed you, too, Ata. Watch your back and try not to give that Ekam of yours as much trouble as you used to give me.”
I nodded, too choked up to reply, and slipped out of the room. Emmory and Fenna turned, their conversation coming to an abrupt end.
“Fenna, it is good to see you again.” I took her hand and squeezed it. “Did you fill Emmory in on the reasons for my disappearing act?”
“I did, Highness. Did you get caught up with your friend?”
“Yes. You should go. I’ll speak with you both later.”
Fenna and Father Westinkar bowed. I tapped Emmory on the arm and headed back down the hallway where Willimet and Kisah waited. Neither of them gave any indication they’d heard anything out of the ordinary, but I was starting to see danger everywhere.
12
I owe you an apology, Highness.”
I staggered into the back of the rose-colored couch in my apartments and blinked at my Ekam. “I’m sorry, what?”
He gave me a look as he reached around Zin and pulled the door closed. Spinning a finger in the air at his partner, Emmory settled into parade rest and bowed his head. “I would beg your forgiveness for my cruel and hasty words.”
“We’re clear,” Zin said, looking between us with a frown. “What happened?”
“You’re serious.” I leaned against the couch, my surprise no longer feigned. “You didn’t know. You were angry. It’s fine.”
“When I’m wrong, I say it, Highness. Fenna told me what you did. What you gave up.”
“Now you make it sound like some noble crusade.” Snorting, I shoved away from the furniture. “I was a grieving teenager who wanted revenge, Emmy. Then I was a young woman who didn’t come home because, as my mother so succinctly put it, I wished to see the universe more than I loved my own flesh and blood.”
Emmory actually flinched. “Highness, your empress-mother is not herself.”
“Will someone tell me what’s going on? Or am I just here to witness this cryptic conversation for posterity?”
